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Post by Debaser on Sept 9, 2016 17:52:03 GMT
My girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me with a friend of mine. Apparently, almost everyone in our circle of friends knew, and not one of them told me. I found out on my own one day, and I wouldn't wish getting cheated on to my worst enemy. It's the worst feeling I've ever felt. I barely remember the following four to five months before I quit my job and moved out of KC to back home. It's just all one depressing blur I guess.
My last girlfriend and I broke up on pretty good terms I guess for a breakup. She got her degree and wanted to move back to Santa Fe, and I had fully committed myself to where I am now. I fixed up the house I live in from scratch basically and I was going to start teaching in the fall. We see each other online sometimes and talk, but its brief and mostly about music or standard small talk stuff.
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razrblck ☯
N3
40Mhz 16bit
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Origin: razrblck
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Post by razrblck ☯ on Sept 9, 2016 17:52:44 GMT
@turingcomplete Time heals everything, you have your whole life left ahead of you.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2016 18:13:59 GMT
Eh... My first girlfriend... we broke up actually fairly well... I mean I still have her phone number and stuff It was a mutual decision based on differences (basically she was asexual, im not... we realized even though it didnt affect anything THEN, it probably would in the future). My last ex was BLEH. Well could have gone worse I guess. I broke up with her after 2 years of wanting to (took a lot of courage ok ) and the last thing I said to her was something along the lines of hoping she had a nice life annddd now she lives in New York I have no idea where and havent been in contact with her since (thank god)... That break up was lllooonnnggggg overdue all ill say... relatively good end to a baadddd relationship all things considered...
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mybudgee
Fear is your only God
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Post by mybudgee on Sept 9, 2016 18:33:56 GMT
Break-ups? I wouldn't know anything about those...
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Nimlowyn
N3
“Literature and art are never created for scholars but for a universal audience." - Camille Paglia
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: nimlowyn
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“Literature and art are never created for scholars but for a universal audience." - Camille Paglia
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Post by Nimlowyn on Sept 9, 2016 19:06:06 GMT
Haven't gone through a break up in over 10 years. Friends of ours are getting a divorce after 10 years together, that sucks.
No matter how strong your relationship is, it can happen to anyone. Don't take anything for granted.
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http://bsn.boards.net/threads/recent/143
https://i.imgur.com/1myVt9D.jpg
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Post by DragonKingReborn on Sept 9, 2016 19:48:31 GMT
Shit, must be 16 years since I've had a break up. Ditched (got ditched, but who's telling the story here) in March 2000. Met my now wife in November 2001. 10th wedding anniversary next March.
Break ups suck, though. Especially when there's "stuff" to take care of, like in a divorce.
Hopefully no kids involved, Nimlowyn?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2016 19:56:54 GMT
Call me old fashioned but I like my break ups to be as memorable as they are devastating.
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nanotm
a tidy workspace is the sign of a deranged mind
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Post by nanotm on Sept 9, 2016 20:09:29 GMT
shit my last breakup was the bird i'm currently married too, but that was like 20 years ago about a month after we got married and lasted about 3 weeks, it was nasty she was sleeping around I found out via a routine STD checkup..... she had a misscarrige ran off through guilt without so much as a word to me and then I got a phone call from the local hospital saying my wife was in there and could I come and sign the conset forms for her to be operated on.......... well it got me out of some shit at work so what the hell stayed by her bed for 2 weeks and nursed her back to health afterwards (that took a few months) it was an emotional rollercoaster so after all that she felt like she owed me (don't get me wrong I love her, even back then I truly did and just wanted her to be happy) it took a few years and lots of heartache along the way but were still together, my worst breakup befor that was some scatty bint chucked a bucket of cold water on me and posted pictures of my naked body all over colledge campus (apparently seeing me in all my glory was supposed to make me upset lets just say her stunt backfired on her and she was booted out of colledge, which was funny because I left a week later to see if I had what it took for my dream job)
the reason most people feel like crap over a breakup is they cant compartmentalise and look at the bigger picture, but its something that means the lawayers don't make much money so they ensure that the myth of hate for the EX is good for the soul is perpetuated, torment and misery arnt good for anything.....
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Nimlowyn
N3
“Literature and art are never created for scholars but for a universal audience." - Camille Paglia
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: nimlowyn
Prime Posts: 1814
Prime Likes: 2820
Posts: 857 Likes: 2,796
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Nimlowyn
“Literature and art are never created for scholars but for a universal audience." - Camille Paglia
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nimlowyn
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Post by Nimlowyn on Sept 9, 2016 20:19:24 GMT
Shit, must be 16 years since I've had a break up. Ditched (got ditched, but who's telling the story here) in March 2000. Met my now wife in November 2001. 10th wedding anniversary next March. Break ups suck, though. Especially when there's "stuff" to take care of, like in a divorce. Hopefully no kids involved, Nimlowyn? No kids. Two cats though. Not sure how they're gonna work that out yet.
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Larry-3
N3
Make it simple but significant.
Posts: 334 Likes: 419
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Make it simple but significant.
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Post by Larry-3 on Sept 9, 2016 21:50:57 GMT
I have felt the sting of love gone bad. Other than feeling awkward and sad, I got through them. I do not wish to discuss the break-ups, though.
I will state that I am wondering how I even ended up in relationships, or how they even lasted. I carry memories of my past flings kissing me and telling me they love me, however, I do not remember how they even started or how they lasted so long. And... I am going off-topic; I apologize.
I do not wish to discuss my past break-ups. I will only mention that I felt pain inside, and I got through them.
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Post by Cyonan on Sept 9, 2016 22:12:36 GMT
Most of my breakups just left me feeling like complete shit for extended periods of time.
Things work much better when you become a Vulcan and follow logic over emotion.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2016 23:02:02 GMT
At work. (actually with her right now, super awkward.) Lots of replies though, read thru em tonight with a beer.
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Nightman
" A wise man once said, forgiveness is divine but never pay full price for a late pizza. "
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Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Nightman on Sept 9, 2016 23:52:18 GMT
Nothing is funner than doing a break up in public... try going to a mall or restaurant on a friday night..then do it.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2016 4:27:58 GMT
My girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me with a friend of mine. Apparently, almost everyone in our circle of friends knew, and not one of them told me. Damn. I would have been mad. Treason is disgusting. I lived already such thing wih seing my friends hating and trying to destroy each other while they were the best friends for 14 years since they were children for a girl they knew for only 6 months. It turned into a big drama with violence, tears, big emotions. Everyone shocked. I promised myself i would never let myself get to that point before such spectacle. -- As for me, personally, I never took anything as granted, given how many guys try to woo my girlfriend, even when they know she is already with someone. They don't care, they still try, several even tried before me in nightclubs. I could have played the offended guy, but I was simply curious how my girlfriend would behave. I used to think the first year I've been with her, that it was likely she would leave me for someone handsome and confident succceeding to detract her from me, or that she would end up being bored with me given how there were so many temptations elsewhere. And if it happens then, so be it, i should simply move on, I shouldn't be that affected. I shouldn't care. It's not that I didn't trust her or didn't trust myself to be able to keep her, it's just that after seeing so much uglyness around me, everyone cheating on everyone, girls leaving their boyfriend because they are bored, or couples that don't last, I stopped to be this idealistic guy I used to be, believing that everything could last, cynical instead after experience I admit. ( though, I still remain deeply romantic, can't change that ) Any other guy could be overly concerned or playing the jealous card, seeing his girlfriend quite often solicitated everywhere. But I didn't care. For me, it was she does whatever the hell she wants. If she finds a better partner that fits better her tastes, more power for her. I'll do the same. I'm not going to waste my time monitoring anything. I never told her anything, I never played the jealous guy. And yet, to my big surprise, she always firmly rejeted all the solitications from other guys. She even called me to get rid of some that were insisting. I never forbid her to dance with other men in a neutral way in nightclubs, I trust her, and yet, she absolutely refuse to do so, only with me the whole night. She is also a bit jealous and do not like me dancing with other girls, even if it is absolutely neutral. I stopped. While it annoyed me a bit at the beginning, ( I'm totally trustworthy ) I did aknowledge that it was for a nice reason. That she simply cared about me. So, now, it's been a whole year and six months that I haven't danced with any other girl, except my friends. For the first time since a loooong tme, I'm fairly optimistic. I'm starting to think I've found my wife . I'm starting. Like I said, I never really take anything as granted. But something changed in me lately, I admit. I'm more wiliing to believe in things again I stopped to believe years ago. ( It might be a mistake, I am aware of that, but I'm okay to be wrong ) If we break up, It would be certainly for another reason.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2016 4:38:14 GMT
Gotta admit this is my favourite response so far.
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These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!
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Post by Kenny Bania on Sept 10, 2016 4:44:08 GMT
Gotta admit this is my favourite response so far. Semi relevant... Seinfeld is the answer to everything.
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Post by Debaser on Sept 10, 2016 5:54:15 GMT
My girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me with a friend of mine. Apparently, almost everyone in our circle of friends knew, and not one of them told me. Damn. I would have been mad. Treason is disgusting. I lived already such thing wih seing my friends hating and trying to destroy each other while they were the best friends for 14 years since they were children for a girl they knew for only 6 months. It turned into a big drama with violence, tears, big emotions. Everyone shocked. I promised myself i would never let myself get to that point before such spectacle. -- I was angry, and I cut all of them out of my life immediately. I had to I would never be able to trust any of them again. My mindset is pretty much the same as yours. I'm not really a jealous person, and what's the point of being in a relationship if you can't trust someone. Sometimes people are shitty and break your trust in them, but that's on them. I wouldn't let some other girl's mistakes affect my relationship with another girl.
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kizanare
N3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Shattered Steel, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
Posts: 606 Likes: 240
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Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Shattered Steel, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
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Post by kizanare on Sept 10, 2016 6:02:55 GMT
Relationships are all about expectations.... simple.
But understanding your own expectations, desires, needs? Complicated.
For starters, people are often just encouraged to be in relationships, that's seen as good regardless if you are really wanting one.
The fact is there is nothing wrong with being.. "single" you don't want to be detached from the world and otherwise uninvested, but involving another person seriously in your life is a big deal that should only happen if you have a peculiar interest in that...
Anyway to address the thing, I had one relationship basically in HS, when that ended I spent... er several years just not going back to it and it felt fine. In retrospect, I was seeking something I didn't actually want, especially at the time.
Nowadays, I think people are more content to just have that kind of more singular attitude, and not feel like they're doing something wrong, liberated from these things, hopefully they can also avoid the dark underbelly (the break ups, cheating, etc)
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OneWomanArmy
N5
Queen of BSN
I’m a brilliant brunette with lots of blonde moments 😜
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
XBL Gamertag: Theonewomanarmy
PSN: HypnoticEyes
Prime Posts: A great deal, I'm an old timer
Prime Likes: A LOT....
Posts: 4,360 Likes: 12,217
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OneWomanArmy
I’m a brilliant brunette with lots of blonde moments 😜
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onewomanarmy
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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A great deal, I'm an old timer
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Post by OneWomanArmy on Sept 10, 2016 6:59:41 GMT
I've dated a few after my ex husband. The one who meant the most to me was the guy I met through my divorce, I mentioned him in the bsn couples threads as well. I'd say my divorce was bad, even though I left him but this guy I met during the divorce felt especially sad and had me hurt for a long time after, cause the love was strong. We dated for around two years, met on the Ashley thread in the Mass effect thread and it started out as fun but suddenly became serious. It was just perfect, I don't even know why it ended tbh. I think it was because he was very jealous and I kinda exploited that, to make him angry when we were fighting, very stupid of me. I still think about him sometimes and what could have been but I do realize it was just not meant to be. He was one of the good guys though. Dated a few others after but nothing meaningful like that.
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caineghis2500
N2
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
XBL Gamertag: Caineghis2500
PSN: Caineghis88
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Post by caineghis2500 on Sept 10, 2016 8:02:38 GMT
I broke up with destiny and uninstalled her off of my ps4 hard drive after the first year. She was taking more than giving. A relationship's gotta be even after all.
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OneWomanArmy
N5
Queen of BSN
I’m a brilliant brunette with lots of blonde moments 😜
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
XBL Gamertag: Theonewomanarmy
PSN: HypnoticEyes
Prime Posts: A great deal, I'm an old timer
Prime Likes: A LOT....
Posts: 4,360 Likes: 12,217
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OneWomanArmy
I’m a brilliant brunette with lots of blonde moments 😜
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Post by OneWomanArmy on Sept 10, 2016 8:09:32 GMT
I broke up with destiny and uninstalled her off of my ps4 hard drive after the first year. She was taking more than giving. A relationship's gotta be even after all. You're such a meanie, it was destiny, you were meant to be :'(
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caineghis2500
N2
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
XBL Gamertag: Caineghis2500
PSN: Caineghis88
Posts: 77 Likes: 312
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caineghis2500
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Post by caineghis2500 on Sept 10, 2016 8:22:03 GMT
I broke up with destiny and uninstalled her off of my ps4 hard drive after the first year. She was taking more than giving. A relationship's gotta be even after all. You're such a meanie, it was destiny, you were meant to be :'( I thought so too. Sigh such is life
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panda5onix
N2
kawaii assassin
Prime Posts: 1234... o.o
Prime Likes: 1500... a great way to end XD
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kawaii assassin
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1234... o.o
1500... a great way to end XD
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Post by panda5onix on Sept 10, 2016 10:12:29 GMT
I'm not ready share mine yet but I can relate to the pain the we all go through. What I learned is to never bottle your feelings in, both happiness and sadness, because it won't help much XD When I do feel the negatives, I let the feelings flow, I embraced them and with time I find that it gets easier and easier each time. Until I only feel a teaspoon of sadness ^^ But to get to this point, I remembered crying and feeling like someone punched me in the feels, knowing that they probably don't feel half of the pain that I did, tears and snots everywhere XD It wasn't pretty but it definitely was part of healing Hugs for all of you.
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wildannie
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Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Mass Effect Andromeda
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lazydays72
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Post by wildannie on Sept 10, 2016 10:44:41 GMT
I've had a couple of pretty messy break ups the worst was when my ex systematically vandalised my car (paintwork and tyres). I ended up having to hide it at my parents house for six months. It took the police setting up cctv on my car and catching him in the act to get it to stop. It had been a really messy break but I had not cheated on him or anything. I think he'd behaved similarly with his previous girlfriend, but I didn't know that at the time... I well out of that one.
I once had to break up with my boyfriend over the phone. It was a long distance relationship so there wasn't much option.
I've never been on the receiving end of a relationship break up, and hope I never know how that feels, being the person doing the breaking up is hard enough.
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Beregond5
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Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Jade Empire
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Post by Beregond5 on Sept 10, 2016 11:14:07 GMT
Haven't been in a serious relationship so no break up story to share, I'm afraid. I can offer this though. (Though I'm told whiskey is better for these things. I'm bad at the comforting stuff...)
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