THE WORD WALL (feat. the ending sucks)

So, with no ME news from biovar around the corner and this MP forum growing rather stale, we need our own ME3 ending thread. This topic has not been covered neeeearly enough  and as faithful ME fans, we should of course have our own take on it. After all, this subforum is supposed to discuss everything from kitten gifs to avatar bewbs.

Here's my own solution to the ending - in no way perfect but it would IMO remove the worst blunders.

Advantages:
Improvement by subtraction; It would take a minimum of effort to do this since it would primarily remove existing content.
No canon ending needed; biovar could still make a ME3 sequel in the MW with Shepard as the protagonist

Lets get to it, here's what needs to be removed. Explanation follows in the story section.

No more starbrat! This entire scene with cyclical logic, red blue green space magic and nonsense bordering insanity goes out the airlock. Good riddance. The game goes as usual with the beam run and TIM dying but ends where Shepard is sitting next to Anderson.

No Extended Cut. This half-assed attempt to put out the dumpster fire gets nuked. What's important here is to get rid of the Normandy rescue scene before the beam run. It raises more questions than it answers and is unnecessary. The Normandy crew mates allready in London stays in London. Unfortunately, the EC beam run is the only chance we have in 3 games to kill off that pesky T'soni Asari. Welp, as I said, this is not perfect. The slideshow and the epilogue voice overs will still be needed though.

No cutscenes of Joker leaving Earth, trying to outrun some RGB beam and no landing on some obscure planet. This nonsense also gets the airlock treatment.

Now, to the story.
Shepard and Anderson are sitting on the Citadel, watching the space battle unfold. The Crucible fires. We can still have that visual representation of a beam coming from the Citadel, engulfing planets and moving throught the mass relays. Just reuse those assets, that's fine. The Reapers stop dead in their track, not firing at anything anymore. The reaperfied organics just fall over dead. Cutscenes show the Reapers totally inert, both groundside and in orbit. The same happens to EDI and the toasters if they survived Rannoch - no response at all. We get the explanation in the epilogue or maybe save it as a little hook for ME4: The microphone MacGuffin was a hacking device, messing up everything with Reaper code, causing it to crash. Plain and simple. No need to overextend the lore with technobabble biovar just need to retcon later. Do something vague where the Reapers just go "format c:".

Choice
It will basically just be the severity of the war before the Reapers shut down, based on the player's EMS score. We can keep 3 outcomes as we have currently. biovar can tweak this as they see fit. Each outcome will be presented with voice overs and a slideshow.
Minimum EMS: The fleet Shepard has assembled is completely annihilated and the Normandy is destroyed. Planets are scorched and Shepard and everyone we know dies. This world state can't be imported into ME4 much like in ME2 if Shepard dies in the suicide mission.
Maximum EMS: Happy ending. The fleets are severely damaged but able to limp back to their homeworlds. Shepard, The Normandy and the crew in London survives (even that pureblood T'soni - goddammit).
Medium EMS: Something in between. Those who survive are the ones critical to the narrative in ME4, biovar's choice.
No more, no less. We end up with the same world state while at least retaining some illusion of choice. Now it's just a question how long it takes the MW races to recover.

What happens in ME4?
Up for grabs, really. The Reapers are "braindead" and a lot of them survived "physically" intact, much like the derelict Reaper in ME2. Maybe a Hanar cult wants to ressurect them. Maybe someone tries to reverse engineer their tech and gets indoctrinated. Maybe some survivors cry out for them to be pushed into the nearest star. The template is there with Shepard alive and the relays intact. We no longer have the arc of the Reapers but that worked fine in ME2. It was just a bunch of shortstories.

Spread your fanboy praise or spew your hate over the fact that you can't bang the Edibot in ME4 or didn't get a boss fight against Harby with this ending. Or figure out how we get rid of T'soni (should have just left her in that bubble in ME1). I've done my part. Or maybe I just ripped off everyone elses ideas without even knowing it. Maybe I'm indoctrinated or blinded by hate of that T'soni chick. Whatever, it was all in good faith and all in the name of shitposting... 

Bonus content for ME4: Who will be the next gay guy aboard the Normandy if Cortez died in London? Plenty of ammunition for some YouTube SJW clickbait vids, everyone loves that stuff.


#MoarShepard #MoarClay #MoarMicroTransactions #JustRetconThatShit #BiovarPls