inherit
Wanted Apostate
127
0
18,242
Catilina
11,030
August 2016
catilina
Top
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
|
Post by Catilina on Mar 3, 2017 13:16:46 GMT
Your style of writing fiction is similar to the one I am using. I start with a general plot idea, then I establish the background: places, events, characters. After that, it`s about visualizing scenes in my mind, selecting the good ones, and describing them. In order to delete the non-relevant parts (dialogues parts, movements, objects) I imagine using a video camera which I can switch off when needed. Or editing the raw video footage. I once worked briefly on some advertising videos as part of a team, and it helps. You can use something like this to "clean up" a bit the raw ME and DA:I stories. Your research paid off and was put to a good use in Chapter 1. I would like to read more chapters, but please don`t do it if you don`t want to. Your Korean fanfic sounds very interesting. I`m also writing some fantasy fictions, based on my own worldbuilding and ideas. Nothing really finished yet (more like some early attempts to try out the background). The kids were older, but still kids. And Anders just 14 years old in the story. So the boy and his sisters encountered just another kid. This is how we perceive unknown people or objects: by familiarity. They saw just a skinny boy, not a mage. And they never saw Uldred, Flemeth or Corypheus in action. Most likely they never saw a mage until encountering Anders. I was 12 or 13 when I first encountered a lone wolf in a forest. I was training (running) alone each day at the outskirts of the city, and just returning (no longer running). And suddenly I faced a wolf. Do you think I recognized it? No, I was convinced it`s just a dog - and I`ve seen wolves since I was a toddler in the zoo. We both stared at each other, and he just turned and sneaked away. Only much later I realized it was a wolf. I kept seeing wolves, foxes and sometimes bears in that forest from time to time in the next years, while training. It`s not about how serious a danger can be. It`s more like what we are perceiving. PS I must admit I`m quite a fan of Korean historical TV shows. I saw a few, and just recently I watched "Hwarang". Sometimes the scenes are silly, and the acting is exaggerated, but they are really improving. I've forgotten when Anders went into the Circle. If he was 12, then 14 would be it. In those two years, he need not do battle with the daily struggle to live, to put food on the table, to pay due to the lords. He was well fed, sheltered. These kind of conditions allowed better physical growth compared to peasant kids. I've read up some on medieval stuff during the research and I'm still learning. There is a difference between children of today and the children of the past. The children of the past were old long before they even had a chance to be really children. This is especially true for those born to peasants which is why my perception of the children (medieval / DA) is different. They're not really children. They knew the harshness of their circumstance, the world they lived in. They did not live in nice palatial houses, they toiled from sun up to sun down along with their parents. They're familiar with the forests near their homes, they would know the flora and fauna. [...] That's true unless he was punished or rejected the cooperation. Don't forget, he had refused to give his name: so not excluded, that he was rather thin. But if he was strong, even was more frightened, than the farmer boy. He didn't think about himself, as a strong, powerful person, rather a persecuted and intimidated boy at least at the moment. I'm sure, that it looked on his behavior. He didn't show offensive behavior, rather reclusive. He wanted to escape, not fight. The kids can sense it, and depends on their nature, what they will do. Sean seems not hostile, or bully. I think, he heard from the danger, but Anders was more like Sean himself than a dangerous monster. So: no matter, whose physique was stronger, Sean had the better position in this situation, and he knew it. As I see.
|
|
inherit
ღ Aerial Flybys
61
0
1
26,195
Obsidian Gryphon
10,134
August 2016
obsidiangryphon
ObsidianGryphon
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
|
Post by Obsidian Gryphon on Mar 3, 2017 13:17:49 GMT
It is true that in real medieval setting a full monk would be fed far better, but a monastery did not consist of many full brothers/sisters that would be fed to fullness with those better diets, Most people associated with the monastery would not be as well off. Ferelden setting also happens in between the Blights, and after the Black Death we had seen a time of growing prosperity for the commoners, as they could charge high prices for foodstuffs and labor, due to low population. Overall, Ferelden feels far closer to modern mindsets and perceptions than the gritty realism. I am not going for Martin's approach here, I am going for a happy escapism *scratches head* Oh, you're likening Circles to monasteries. Yes indeed, the decline of the peasant labor force after the BD did bring about a change but effecting material gains remained the same; working day in, day out. DA is a Disney version of the medieval ages. Martin's?? I presume you're referring to the writer of GoT. Oh he's the ultimate dusty grit definitely. I never read his works though. I watched GoT for the nice dragons. In any case, I'm just offering an opinion, not saying you're wrong.
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 3, 2017 13:29:52 GMT
ehe You are absolutely right about the difference between children of today and the children of the past. Especially in the case of peasant families. Some decades ago I interviewed a few children from farmer families for a research. The ones from @domi`s story seem to be free to roam at leisure. Meaning that their father owns probably a business (craftsman, merchant), so the children don`t need to work. Yet. And are a bit pampered. Possibly. As for the familiarity with forests and dangers, I also agree. But children are also curious, as Catilina said. Fear and cautious behavior are both learned from experience, not inherited. Back in the early `70s, I was allowed to play outside unsupervised before my 3`rd birthday, completely alone. At age 4 I was exploring the nearby forest with my friends. And I`m a city dweller. One can imagine that middle age villages offered more freedom and things to explore to children. It was also much more dangerous. Still, since I considered that Anders was still near the Calenhad Circle (since his goal was to change his outfit), the area probably was quite safe. I agree about the recent Korean "historical" TV dramas. I`ve tried a few at Netflix and they were awful. The one I saw recently was decent at least, and better played than most older ones. The Korean contemporary TV dramas, as most contemporary TV dramas, are simply non-watchable. At least in my case. History is one of my big hobbies so I started to watch such TV shows some years ago, but only the interesting ones. I liked your idea of using Medieval historical knowledge about social life, buildings, and warfare for your story. It`s the only way to make the whole story to feel real and not just staged. Have you ever tried Harry Turtledove`s historical fantasy novels about Videssos (a fantasy world with magic similar to medieval Byzantium)? He wrote 3 cycles: The legion, Krispos and Times of Troubles. He is an expert in Byzantine history, by the way: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_TurtledoveThese cycles are quite good, and the military campaigns are realistic.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
1255
0
Apr 29, 2024 18:56:16 GMT
Deleted
0
Apr 29, 2024 18:56:16 GMT
January 1970
Deleted
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 13:33:51 GMT
Heh, this is really way more attention than the snippet warranted. Some boys won't fill out till later in life even in our overfed society, and some manage to thrive with hard labor and just enough calories from full-fat dairy. I do like it that DA setting is more of a traditional fantasy with a smattering of "bad stuff happens" and glimpses of hardship vs the uniformly depressing, oppressively cruel world without hope or exodus, widespread starvation, disease and misery.... I dunno, I feel a bit silly stealing all the attention with young Anders.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
1255
0
Apr 29, 2024 18:56:16 GMT
Deleted
0
Apr 29, 2024 18:56:16 GMT
January 1970
Deleted
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 13:38:28 GMT
It is true that in real medieval setting a full monk would be fed far better, but a monastery did not consist of many full brothers/sisters that would be fed to fullness with those better diets, Most people associated with the monastery would not be as well off. Ferelden setting also happens in between the Blights, and after the Black Death we had seen a time of growing prosperity for the commoners, as they could charge high prices for foodstuffs and labor, due to low population. Overall, Ferelden feels far closer to modern mindsets and perceptions than the gritty realism. I am not going for Martin's approach here, I am going for a happy escapism *scratches head* Oh, you're likening Circles to monasteries. Yes indeed, the decline of the peasant labor force after the BD did bring about a change but effecting material gains remained the same; working day in, day out. DA is a Disney version of the medieval ages. :D Martin's?? I presume you're referring to the writer of GoT. Oh he's the ultimate dusty grit definitely. :P I never read his works though. I watched GoT for the nice dragons. :P In any case, I'm just offering an opinion, not saying you're wrong. Oh, I read Martin back when the books first come out, never watched the shows. Good books, the first three, but then it goes downhill. I am agreeing with you that the story was not particularly realistic, tbh, but it was fun to write something happy and cute.
|
|
inherit
ღ Aerial Flybys
61
0
1
26,195
Obsidian Gryphon
10,134
August 2016
obsidiangryphon
ObsidianGryphon
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
|
Post by Obsidian Gryphon on Mar 3, 2017 13:47:17 GMT
You are absolutely right about the difference between children of today and the children of the past. Especially in the case of peasant families. Some decades ago I interviewed a few children from farmer families for a research. The ones from @domi `s story seem to be free to roam at leisure. Meaning that their father owns probably a business (craftsman, merchant), so the children don`t need to work. Yet. And are a bit pampered. Possibly. As for the familiarity with forests and dangers, I also agree. But children are also curious, as Catilina said. Fear and cautious behavior are both learned from experience, not inherited. Back in the early `70s, I was allowed to play outside unsupervised before my 3`rd birthday, completely alone. At age 4 I was exploring the nearby forest with my friends. And I`m a city dweller. One can imagine that middle age villages offered more freedom and things to explore to children. It was also much more dangerous. Still, since I considered that Anders was still near the Calenhad Circle (since his goal was to change his outfit), the area probably was quite safe. I agree about the recent Korean "historical" TV dramas. I`ve tried a few at Netflix and they were awful. The one I saw recently was decent at least, and better played than most older ones. The Korean contemporary TV dramas, as most contemporary TV dramas, are simply non-watchable. At least in my case. History is one of my big hobbies so I started to watch such TV shows some years ago, but only the interesting ones. I liked your idea of using Medieval historical knowledge about social life, buildings, and warfare for your story. It`s the only way to make the whole story to feel real and not just staged. Have you ever tried Harry Turtledove`s historical fantasy novels about Videssos (a fantasy world with magic similar to medieval Byzantium)? He wrote 3 cycles: The legion, Krispos and Times of Troubles. He is an expert in Byzantine history, by the way: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_TurtledoveThese cycles are quite good, and the military campaigns are realistic. I feel as though we're trying to belabor points so I'm laying down the pipe so the kids can go play. Scoot! The most recent touch I made for the Korean historical dramas is Jeong Do-jeon (2014) because I read of the attempt to write more factual historical drama than high fantasy flying HD. I caught a few eps and it seemed legit but I didn't watch the entire series. imo, the better HDs are the older ones dating back to the late 80s to 2000s; Admiral Ye Sun-sin. No, I've never read HT's historical fantasy novels. Oh, looks like I've more reading materials. Thanks!
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 3, 2017 13:56:46 GMT
Heh, this is really way more attention than the snippet warranted. Some boys won't fill out till later in life even in our overfed society, and some manage to thrive with hard labor and just enough calories from full-fat dairy. I do like it that DA setting is more of a traditional fantasy with a smattering of "bad stuff happens" and glimpses of hardship vs the uniformly depressing, oppressively cruel world without hope or exodus, widespread starvation, disease and misery.... I dunno, I feel a bit silly stealing all the attention with young Anders. Don`t be sorry stealing all the attention. It`s because of the kids. We don`t really know much about how children are treated in Dragon Age since the few we have seen are mostly doing nothing or being insufferable, especially those from DA:O. Bioware should try at least to make an origin for DA4 starting with a younger age for the protagonist. This should solve some problems ... Your idea about an encounter between a 14 years old Anders and other children was simply great.
|
|
inherit
Wanted Apostate
127
0
18,242
Catilina
11,030
August 2016
catilina
Top
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
|
Post by Catilina on Mar 3, 2017 14:05:55 GMT
Dragon Age reality – teen boy, not Circle Mage, also not farmer: Seems rather Hawke than Anders...
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 3, 2017 14:08:33 GMT
I feel as though we're trying to belabor points so I'm laying down the pipe so the kids can go play. Scoot! The most recent touch I made for the Korean historical dramas is Jeong Do-jeon (2014) because I read of the attempt to write more factual historical drama than high fantasy flying HD. I caught a few eps and it seemed legit but I didn't watch the entire series. imo, the better HDs are the older ones dating back to the late 80s to 2000s; Admiral Ye Sun-sin. No, I've never read HT's historical fantasy novels. Oh, looks like I've more reading materials. Thanks! Harry Turtledove is mostly famous for his alternate history cycles (like US civil war, World war II) but I really don`t like those. These about Videssos are placed in a fantasy world with magic and an old Empire similar to Byzantium. There is another Empire like middle age Persia, and some smaller states AND several nomadic "nations". The books are about civil wars, long military campaigns, sieges, a few naval battles. And strange lands with strange magic (and some spirit summoning and foretelling Flemeth style). Since Turtledove is quite an expert in that age, lifestyles in the empires or nomadic tribes are presented well. Ceremonies, rituals, customs, witchcraft, religions are all invented but based loosely on Earth-like equivalents. A good reading.
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 4, 2017 9:03:16 GMT
The last "missing" part of Rite of Passage. I will update the original post to Rite of Passage extended version.
Rite of passage - last missing part
Varric and Edwina were returning to The Hanged Man after safely escorting the Orzamar Committee members to their nondescript ship. They were quite pleased to finish the job so fast and eager to catch the morning tide.
It was a warm night and Varric was enjoying the soft breeze. “We will stay at The Hanged Man until morning, just in case. To avoid a surprise encounter with Shorty`s friends.”
“Sounds good, boss. I still don`t understand several things, though. I had the impression that Orzamar and Antivan politics are similar. But the Committee acted very strangely. Why would they accept an offer from House Tethras - a clearly interested party? Why would Jorrin Dace and the others accept a plan which required them to be humiliated by Torrold? I know that dwarves are very proud and quick to react if insulted, so it just doesn't make any sense to me,” asked Edwina confused. “And why would they accept such a crazy plan – based on a nug poetry competition? It sounds all too childish to me. No offense.” she added quickly.
“It`s quite straightforward. Offering the mansion was my right, and it served to meet Dace and to learn the true intentions behind the Committee`s arrival. When Dace explained that they are searching for proof, all became clear. There is no such thing as a neutral investigation in Orzamar. When there is a search for proof, it means that the decision was already made, and the evidence is needed just to support it. It was clear to me that Orzamar wanted House Meino removed from the trade deal. This also explained why they accepted my offer about the mansion. Since I was the first representative of a Merchant House to contact them, they enlisted me for the job. More than that, they already knew that I will help them.”
“How could they know that you will work with them?”
“Because it was House Meino who provided the proof against my House when we were exiled. Every dwarf in Orzamar or on the surface worth its salt knows what this means: our houses are in conflict because of this. Dace knew it and Meino also knew it. And this was also the key to the plan.
I went to the Guild meeting expecting a humiliation from Meino. It happened. Also, Meino already guessed or was informed about Orzamar`s plan to remove him from the trade deals. But he failed to notice the arrival of the Committee – this is why Dace and the others came in secrecy. Meino is a brutal man, and I expected that he will act very aggressively in the days before the Committee arrives. Just to establish some control over the Guild Council. It`s how he acted in the past. So I proposed Dace the nug poetry gambit. Nug poetry competitions are an old Orzamar tradition. Dace needed to be directly offended by Torrold. And exactly this is what happened. This gave Dace the perfect motive and right to remove House Meino from the trade. All I had to do next is to prepare for Torrold`s assassination attempt against me. He must have been mad after losing the concession to a kid.
I had to be seen as alone in the mansion, so all my servants were told to leave, except my chamberlain hidden in the secret room with the three Orzamar dwarves. I waited for your signal from outside – that Torrold and the assassins are entering the mansion. At my signal, the chamberlain activated the crossbows, killing Shorty and the Carta assassins. And leaving only Torrold and me alive, as planned. The crossbows were placed to miss my bed and Torrold`s chair. I needed to kill Torrold myself since he directly offended me and House Tethras with my humiliation at the Guild meeting and the assassination attempt. And Dace served as a witness.
All this means that House Meino is finished on the surface. It`s probably what House Dace planned from the start. And I avenged my father and House Tethras.”
"The famous dwarven honor. All this was about dwarven honor?" asked Edwina incredulously.
"Honor and status," added Varric.
|
|
inherit
ღ Aerial Flybys
61
0
1
26,195
Obsidian Gryphon
10,134
August 2016
obsidiangryphon
ObsidianGryphon
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
|
Post by Obsidian Gryphon on Mar 4, 2017 13:08:00 GMT
Chapter completed. 011103.2017.ObsG
*
Chapter II 9.30 Dragon, Late Spring, Barviel Reach
Alaryn was up at the first crow of the roosters in the kitchen yard. Her first action was to light the candles on the nightstand and dumped the saddlebags on her bed. The events of yesterday had tilted her off balance that she did not think of checking what Friesa had packed. It was a mistake she was going to rectify. She went through the saddlebags one by one. With a wry twist of her lips, she removed ornate combs, pins and a small bottle of perfume rolled up in a tunic. Did Friesa think she was going to waste time on such frivolities? Afer six years, the maid should have known better.
I should not be so captious. Friesa is in a different position with her heart set on a different summit than mine.
Going to her clothes chest, she removed all the summer and winter tunics and trousers she had, added them to the pile on the bed before squaring them away into tight bundles. A pair of soft half-boots was added to the old pair of leather boots and rolled in an old blanket. A couple of washtowels, a plain comb, a brick of soap, armor repair kit, a small pouch of herbs and a couple of books went into another saddlebag. Was there anything else? Her eyes fell on the lute beside her bed. For a moment, she debated and then decided against bringing it. She could always borrow one at the old Keep. The weak light creeping through the window shutters warned her she had better hurry.
Pouring water into the basin by the fireplace, she stripped and wiped herself down, shivering from the cold water, before donning fresh clothing. Going over to the armor stand beside the wardrobe, she strapped on the gambeson, leather corselet, vembrace and greaves. She checked the pouches on the sword belt and shook out the debris in them before folding in the letter for her uncle, a small wad of parchments, a stick of charcoal, eating knife and spoon. Half of the coins she had went into the money pouch while the rest, she shoved into one of the saddlebags. She regarded the bulging saddlebags uneasily. Had she packed too much? But then she was going away for months. Surely she would need the items. Perhaps she could check with Krizo.
Buckling on the sword belt, she checked her sword before slipping it into the holder. Crossing over to her writing table, she picked up the new dagger. The Trevelyan crest gleamed on the pommel-nut like a newly forged coin. Just as she slipped it into the empty dagger sheath at the back of her belt, someone knocked softly on the door. "My lady?" came Friesa's muffled query.
"Come." Ryn picked up the kite shield leaning against the armor stand and slung it across her back as the maid came into the room with a servant. She brought down the bow and the quiver of arrows hanging from the hooks on the wall. Stringing the bow deftly, she drew it. Satisfied that it was sound, she removed the string and looked around her room again to see if she had missed anything. She picked up the cloak and her helm on top of the clothes chest and blew out the candles before following Friesa and the servant, loaded with the saddlebags, downstairs. Shadows danced in the corridors, held in thrall of the wall braziers and candles.
The courtyard was a bustling hive of activity as servants, soldiers and stablehands moved to and fro, loading carts and packhorses with supplies and packs. The Keep dogs scurried back and forth in company, tails wagging furiously. The supplies in the carts was far more than she expected. The journey was no more than a hand of days, was there a need to bring so much? Surely there was more than enough at the old Keep. There hadn't been any news of a bad harvest last year. Then again, the increase in numbers of the garrison would strain the resources of the Keep.
The company of fifty soldiers that were to make the journey to Skanvar were gathered near the carts, most of whom were seeking blessings from Mother Harevis as she walked among them. Ryn's eyes lit up when she saw her gelding, all saddled and bridled. "Hey, Liddy." The horse wuffled into her palm. She stroked his neck before checking the bit in his mouth, the fastening of the girth and was pleased the stablehands had strapped on the bow case. She should have left instructions for a full tack but Krizo had taken care of it. The bow went into the case on the snaffle on one side of the saddle while the shield went on another at the other side.
As if her thought had conjured him, Krizo appeared at her side. "Need anything?" He nodded at the saddlebags Friesa and the servant was tying down on the packhorse behind the gelding.
"I think I've it." She rattled off the items she had packed, wondering if he would check the packs himself and was pleased when he only nodded.
"If you're short, check the supply carts. Landric is leading this lot, you can't ask for a better guide." He rubbed the gelding's nose when it nudged him. "Your father's waiting to break fast with you."
Uneasy about what she would find, Alaryn went to the main hall. To her relief, there was only Varal and Feric waiting for her unlike the leave-taking supper of the night before with all soldiers and officers partaking of the meal. The fare that morning was plain and simple. Moira would have a fit to see them digging into oatmeal, meat pies and dried winter fruit but with her many leagues away, there was companionable peace at the table.
A servant came in with three mazers and a bottle of wine as they were finishing. Pouring out a measure of wine into each mazer, Varal handed one to Feric and Alaryn before standing, taking up his own mazer as he did so. Alaryn stood and met her father's gaze timorously for this was an unusual development.
His gaze rested solemnly but warmly on her. "To you, my daughter, " he said and raised his mazer. "Hold close the words laid down by our forefathers. Est valiance vis, avidius, seresco, est ultimus ruor. May you fulfill their aspirations. May you find your course."
"To Alaryn," Feric said, raising his mazer to her before drinking.
The wine left a trail of heat down her throat. She held back an involuntary cough and blinked back tears, not wishing to mar the occasion.
"It's time," Varal said, giving her an encouraging clasp on the shoulder.
With legs that suddenly felt wobbly, she followed Varal. The soldiers had already formed up in the courtyard. Landric, a grizzled veteran sergeant, saluted when he saw them. "My Lord, the troops are ready."
Varal nodded, casting his eye over the soldiers. "In the days to come, the troubles of Ferelden may come upon our shores." He raised his voice slightly so all could hear him. The servants and stablehands stood still, listening as intently as the soldiers. "You have been told what to expect and what you will be asked to do. You have all given loyal service to house Trevelyan, for which I am grateful. Your service in the coming days, will be profound in the safety of not just Trevelyn lands, but the Free Marches. Should a single corrupt aspect of the darkspawn be allowed to come ashore, we are all threatened. I call upon you, to aid my brother, Lord Tarsus, and my daughter, Lady Alaryn, to defend and stand fast against this menace."
Landric went to one knee, the company of soldiers followed a heart beat behind. "My Lord, our lives are theirs to command and we are ready to defend our home," he pledged.
Varal bowed his head in acknowledgement. "May the Maker bless and watch over you all."
Saluting, Landric got to his feet and bellowed out orders. The soldiers came to attention, turned and marched out through the portcullis with the supply carts and pack horses following after.
Varal turned to Ryn. "Maker watch over you, daughter," he said. "May he light and guide your path."
"Thank you, father." Ryn swallowed down the surge of fright and tears and quickly turned to Feric who nearly crushed her with his hug. "Maker be your shield," he smiled at her, giving her another squeeze before nudging her towards the gelding.
Feeling somewhat light headed with fear and excitement, Ryn mounted and cantered to the portcullis where Landric was waiting for her. At the gate, she stopped for one last look at her father and brother. Standing off to one side in the shadows, Krizo waved a farewell. Taking a deep breath, Ryn turned back and looked ahead. Kicking the gelding into a canter, she passed through the gate with Landric behind her. She felt as if she had crossed an unseen boundary into the unknown. Whatever would come, would be of her own making.
Ahead, the soldiers marched steadily in three files through the training grounds, the pennon with the Trevelyan coat of arms fluttered in the light breeze. The tip of the pennon sparkled in the gathering light, drawing her eyes for it seemed to be telling her of the possible prospects in the days to come. Those soldiers who remained behind, called encouragingly as they stood outside the barracks.
They were soon on the main road that ran along tended fields that fringed the Keep. Distant pastures were blotted with white specks and smaller darker spots. Cattle lowed and farmers hazy figures hard at work, becoming more clearer as the sun crawled further up in the sky. From distant trees and bushes, the faint chirrups and tweets of busy birds already hard at work. This early in the morning, the road was still dampened by the chill of the night but it would soon change as the day progressed.
The sun climbed higher and higher. They stopped for a break when the day grew warmer. By midday, they reached the edge of the woods and stopped for a quick meal of meat rolls and ale. The scouts that had ridden ahead returned to report nothing more than the usual groups of gatherer-hunters from the nearby villages making their rounds of the woods. With summer on the advent, the herbs and vegetables had to be tended, trees trimmed and sweet greenery encouraged to entice grazing herds for the summer hunt.
Alaryn wondered if there would be any hunting at Skanvar as she checked Liddy's hooves for stones at the picket lines. When last she was there, Moira had kept her close that she couldn't explore as she would like. There were woods nearby, she recalled but her uncle Tarsus had not gone out to hunt even though it was summer. There were no hunting dogs at the old Keep. Perhaps he had no interest in the annual diversion nor inclination to bestow a boon of the hunt on the villages nearby. She didn't know much of her uncle, she realised. She should have asked her father or Feric but her wits were addled.
Hunting? When I have duties to discharge?
What would her uncle set her to doing? Scribe and watch the books or send her out with patrols? The last seemed unlikely. Perhaps he would pat her on the head, asked if she would like tea and cakes, set her to play with toys in the main hall? That was hardly going to happen either since she was no longer a child. Satisfied that the gelding's hooves were sound, she mounted as Landric gave orders for the march to resume. She made her way to the back of the line, passing Friesa who was climbing back up on the supply cart with the carter's help.
"Enjoying yourself, my lady?" Friesa asked with a impudent grin.
"Hugely," Alaryn returned blandly. Trust the maid to ask a farcical question when she knew the answer.
Landric cantered up beside her at the end of the train after making his customary inspections. "All is well, my lady," he said to her querying look.
She nodded. He had, if she recalled correctly, had served several years at Skanvar before he was recently sent to Barviel. "What is Skanvar like, sergeant?"
"Smaller than Barviel, my lady, and more heavily fortified. It used to be a Tewinter fort in olden times, back in the days when the Imperium's hand was over the land. When the Imperium lost control, it was taken over by your ancestors and renamed Skanvar."
A barbaric name. A reminder of times so old that no one knew for certain if that was really the founder's name. "I hardly remember much of it. I visited it but once when I was eight," she said.
"Aye. I was there when you came with your lady mother. Brought colour like. Um --," he faltered at her raised brows, "pardon me, my lady."
"There is no offense," she said with a smile. "Is the place so lack of cheer?"
"It is a fort, my lady," he said. "My Lord Tarsus is deeply employed with his responsibilities to keep the estate running and the roads safe."
"Does he not entertain close company?" she asked curiously.
"Lord Tarsus welcome what is necessary," he said with a inscrutable look.
He had misconstrued her question, she realised. She had meant close friends, not the intimate company he thought she was alluding to. Not surprising since her uncle was not married. An unusual state for a noble who had also chosen not to pledge himself to the usual associations expected for one of his rank. Like herself. She pulled away from that thought. If her uncle had such companions, he wasn't going to tattle like a kitchen maid.
"I spoke little to my uncle when I was there," she said. "I barely know him."
"He is equal to my Lord Varal, my lady."
That wasn't much help at all. If her uncle was held with as much deference as her father, why then was he such a reluctant subject with her parents? Something was awry and she wondered what it was. She eyed Landric. If he knew, he wasn't going to tell her. She was going to have to find out for herself.
As if sensing her dissatisfaction, Landric added, "Skanvar is administered much as Barviel is, my lady. Lord Tarvus hold the troops fast to discipline and brooks no disorder. He expects everyone to discharge their duties fully. Rigid as steel he is not. His hand is fair with petitions and judgments. Since we are so close to Ostwick, troops are often given the chance to visit on special days."
"Does my uncle visit Ostwick often?"
"When he has to. Lord Tarsus does not partake in festivities nor parties. He does not begrudge those who do however. There were plans to mark Molioris in Ostwick as usual this year but with this pickle of a new Blight --," he shook his head, "-well, the lads will have to observe the festivity in their barracks." It sounded like her uncle was reclusive. That he was stringent with the men and managed the lands around Skanvar well was no surprise. She'd hardly remember hearing any difficulties from the old Keep. Perhaps the problems with her parents had nothing to do with his ability to handle the responsibilities but something more private? She couldn't even imagine what it could be. Whatever it was, she'd rather hope her uncle would see that hobbling her at the Keep was not going to be of much use to him or her. That sending her out with the patrols was the much practical choice.
This journey was a rarity as much as strange. For the first time, she was going somewhere on a task, not on a diversion. Except for that single trip to Skanvar, the southern road they were on now was hardly one she had much acquaintance with. The trips to Ostwick with her mother was via the much busier eastern road with sufficient rest stops like taverns and hospitality of the freeholders. Here, there was only the wild woods with the spring growth of heather, bracken, fungi and all manner of budding plants. Beams of sunlight reached through the foliage, lighting the flickers of tiny wings of insects as they darted to and fro. Now and then a rabbit or two dashed through the undergrowth, squirrels scampered on the branches overhead, watching the troops below with liquid eyes. One even dropped a winter pine nut on her head.
The broad trunks of trees gave way to tall thin straight offshoots sprouting from boughs as the day drew slowly to a close. The corporal leading the troops headed off down a broad well trodden path. Wattle fences and houses appeared not soon after. The village of Leundy. As their arrival was expected, they were settled smoothly for the night. The soldiers bedded down at various barns while Alaryn was shown to the guest chamber at the tavern. After washing away the dirt of the road and refreshing herself, she sat down to a piping hot meal delivered to her room.
Someone knocked on the door just as she was wiping up the sauce of the stew with the last bit of bread. Friesa went to the door. A murmur of words before the maid looked over to her. "My lady, mayor Hutter asked if he could have speech with you."
At her nod, the maid stepped back from the door. Alaryn rose to her feet as a heavyset middle age man in homespun clothes stepped into the room, bringing with him an odor of sweat and dirt. "Mayor Hutter."
He bowed. "I beg pardon for interrupting your rest, Lady Trevelyan."
"Be at ease, ser," she said. "What is it that brings you to me?"
"My lady," he said respectfully, "we seek better understanding of the recent tidings brought to us from Lord Trevelyan's messengers. There is much concern with the news of a Blight. Would you speak to the people? They're waiting in the common room."
Stamping down on a wave of apprehension, Alaryn nodded. "Yes, of course," she said, straightening her back before stepping out.
The hum of voices died away when she appeared on the landing. The sea of faces that looked up at her from the top of stairs was daunting. She held tight to calm as she made her down, Friesa and Hutter following. A path opened up quickly before her as she headed for the hearth where Landric and two corporals were standing. They moved to hold clear a space for her when she reached them. Hutter turned to face the crowd.
"This is Lady Trevelyan," he said. "She will speak of the coming trouble that we have been warned of. My lady." He turned to Alaryn.
She had been trying to decide what she had to say the moment she stepped out of the room and down the stairs. Addressing a crowd of people was something she had never done before. She looked over the gathering. Most of them were farmers, shepherds, crofters, hunter-gatherers, wives, husbands. Their curiosity and disquiet clear in their faces. What were they expecting her to say?
If i were one of them, what would I want to know?
"The news from Fereldan confirms that darkspawn are massing," she said. "More and more of them are appearing in the Korcari Wilds and have overrun Chasind villages." She raised her voice slightly over the gasps and murmurings. Hutter muttered something and the crowd fell silent.
"King Cailan is presently gathering forces at Ostagar to overcome the horde. If he is successful, the horde will be defeated before they can made further encroachment into Fereldan."
"Is it a Blight, my lady?" someone called from the back.
"It is not certain at the moment, there has been no sighting of an Archdemon."
The crowd rumbled. "Will darkspawn appear here?" another called out.
She would have liked to say no but that would be a lie when she didn't know. "I do not know," she admitted frankly. Landric glanced at her. Should she have prevaricated or answer differently? From the faces that turned pale at the implications of an outbreak of darkspawn that was nearer to home and the rising tension, it was too late to take it back.
"Throughout the history of the Blights, darkspawn upsurges were unpredictable because they dug and travelled underground, they could appear anywhere. But there is --" The rumble of conversation that broke out drowned out her next words.
"Silence!" Landric shouted, stilling the crowd. "My lady has not finished speaking."
"The reach of the darkspawn enlarges when they began to take over and expand their territories," Alaryn said matter-of-factly. "This often presaged the appearance of the Archdemon. That is when they will spread all over the land. As of this moment, they are held to the Korcari Wilds."
The tension eased slightly. "Our immediate concern in the coming days is not the darkspawn," she said, looking across the crowd. The 'yet' hovered unsaid. "It is the people who are seeking safety from the darkspawn, people who have lost their homes. Many will cross the sea."
Heads nodded in agreement. "We're not turning away these people but we must be cautious." She paused, recalling the conversation she had with Feric, the arguments with her father. She could see Landric eyeing her covertly. "If any one them has been injured by the darkspawn, it means that they're likely to carry the taint. My father wishes to secure the borders of this land, the Free Marches, to protect its people. Admit no strangers who are ill, even traders and merchants you know. If it is only food and water that they seek, provide it but do not allow them to enter."
"Are they then to wander freely?" Hutter asked apprehensively. "If they're sick, tainted--"
"No, they're not to wander. Construct a dwelling not far from the village and confine them. Send word to my father and he will see to their removal."
The crowd burst into loud debate. This time, Landric didn't shout them down but watched them keenly. A man in homespun and worn leathers came into the tavern and went to Hutter, whispering into his ear. The mayor frowned, visibly hesitated before addressing Alaryn.
"My lady," he said. "We have recently captured an intruder for trespassing and poaching. We were going to hand him over to the regular patrol so my lord Varal could pass judgement. I set Kern here to guard him but now he says the knife-ear is showing signs of sickness.."
That caught her attention at once. "Knife-ear?"
"A Dalish," Kern cut in anxiously. "One of the wild ones with funny tattoos all over the face." He whirled a finger over his face.
"Manners, Kern," Hutter admonished. Kern subsided, shuffling awkwardly as he stepped back. "I thought perhaps my lady would look into the matter? We could have a swift resolution if the knife-ear should be tainted."
A stone came to settle in her stomach. Swift resolution. From the expression in his eye, she knew it was the final stroke he was thinking of. She wasn't ready for that. Landric stepped up beside her. "If it's a wild Dalish, how did you manage to catch him?" he asked.
"He was busy with his kill when we saw him so it's no great trouble at all to snare him," Kern said eagerly.
"We?" Landric looked from Kern to Hutter.
"Me and my brother," Kern said, thumping his chest.
"And who's your brother?" Landric asked patiently.
"Paric. He's watching that knife-ear else he'll be here."
"What was the elf doing?"
"When we saw him, he was cutting up a stag. We know the laws, we know he's breaking them," Kern said proudly, eyes flicking to Alaryn. "We don't like no one stealing the lord's hunting beasts so we knew we must bring him in."
"When did you capture him?"
Kern frowned. "Two days ago. We were expecting a patrol yesterday but no one came."
"To strengthen the borders, soldiers are presently relocated to the front," Landric said, putting up a hand to halt Hutter when he made to speak. "Patrols there are but with longer stretches between."
"Why do you say the elf is sick?" Alaryn asked.
"He's all sweaty and looks like a ghost," Kern said.
"Kill the knife-ear. Up to good he is," a testy voice said sharply from behind them.
Startled, Alaryn sought the speaker and saw it came from an old woman feeding wood into the hearth. "Wild and bloodthirsty. All of them are," the old woman continued. "Takes a knife to you if they see a hair of you. Cuts you up for their heathen fires and feeds you to their heathen gods. If you see one in the village, they come to steal and poison the well. Cursed they are, they bring bad tidings."
"Couldn't have said it better, old mum," someone muttered.
The crowd had fallen silent, Alaryn realised. From the set faces filled with loathing, they had all passed their judgement and sentence on the elf. The air seemed to crackle with their fear and hate. Landric looked at her before cutting his eyes to the tavern door.
"I will see this elf myself," Alaryn said. "The will of my father has been made clear this night," she added, catching the eye of every person in the crowd as she looked around the room. "Protect yourselves against those who come with sickness but offer the hand of mercy, compassion and shelter, not the hand of the knife. Be certain that judgment will fall on those who slay out of fear and ignorance."
The tension abated slightly as they took in the warning. Hutter bowed. "My lord Trevelyan's order will be obeyed. The meeting is over." He gestured to the crowd to leave. As the common room emptied, he said, "My lady, the elf is presently held at the tithe barn. I will bring you to him."
The few stragglers at the door looked back and made haste to remove themselves when they saw Landric bearing down on them. The cool air outside was balm to Alaryn as they followed Hutter along a broad stone path. Friesa and Kern, with the two corporals, brought up the rear. The title barn stood at a juncture of two stone paths not far from the tavern. The furnace, embers still glowing, and the forge of a blacksmith stood along one. From the smell and bustle from the other building on the other path, a bakery. Amber light shone beneath the shutters of the dwellings nearby.
The heavy door of the title barn was ajar when they reached it. The unexpected sound of a heavy thumping and a grunt of pain floated out. Without waiting for Hutter, Landric wrenched the door open. At the sight of what was happening within, Alaryn shouted, "Halt!"
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 4, 2017 14:19:18 GMT
Obsidian Gryphon You started to post the next chapter from Alaryn`s background story! A fresh story part every day! What can be better? Chapter 2 sounds exciting so far. Everything fits a Medieval Keep setting. And I have a feeling that the travel won`t be just a smooth holiday. But I might be wrong. I liked Chapter 1 very much, and it seems that the story will be great. I noticed a few minor problems: She brought down the bow and the quiver of arrows hanging from the hooks on the wall. The string of the bow gave off a firm twang as she tested it.I`m not sure how you visioned this part, but if the bow was displayed with the string attached on both ends and tensed, this is not accurate. Bows were always stored unstrung (the string only attached on one end), to keep their tension at peak level. They were strung usually only before use. Next, ... picked up the cloak and her helmet on top of the clothes chest ... My guess is that you intended to use helmet instead of helm The journey was no more than a handful of days, was there a need to bring so much? It`s probably "handful" instead of "hand".
|
|
inherit
ღ Aerial Flybys
61
0
1
26,195
Obsidian Gryphon
10,134
August 2016
obsidiangryphon
ObsidianGryphon
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
|
Post by Obsidian Gryphon on Mar 4, 2017 14:37:55 GMT
Obsidian Gryphon You started to post the next chapter from Alaryn`s background story! A fresh story part every day! What can be better? Chapter 2 sounds exciting so far. Everything fits a Medieval Keep setting. And I have a feeling that the travel won`t be just a smooth holiday. But I might be wrong. I liked Chapter 1 very much, and it seems that the story will be great. I noticed a few minor problems: She brought down the bow and the quiver of arrows hanging from the hooks on the wall. The string of the bow gave off a firm twang as she tested it.I`m not sure how you visioned this part, but if the bow was displayed with the string attached on both ends and tensed, this is not accurate. Bows were always stored unstrung (the string only attached on one end), to keep their tension at peak level. They were strung usually only before use. Next, ... picked up the cloak and her helmet on top of the clothes chest ... My guess is that you intended to use helmet instead of helm The journey was no more than a handful of days, was there a need to bring so much? It`s probably "handful" instead of "hand". Thanks, glad you like it but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you since I may drop the ball. * Bow I'm aware of that. I did think of writing she string / unstring and decided not to. I'm being lazy. Now since you bring it up, I'll pull up my socks and go put it in. * Helm No, helmet is not a word I intended to use. I've a habit of using helm to describe medieval headgear. *Hand of days It's deliberate. I never intended to use "handful" as I want to keep the tone of the language / common tongue to a more archaic flavour instead of modern English. I'm not well versed in archaic languages unfortunately so I can only assume a sort of pseudo style. I did the same for the Korean historical fic, I adhered strictly to the customs, language, manner of that era and try to keep out any modern references.
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 4, 2017 14:56:04 GMT
Thanks, glad you like it but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you since I may drop the ball. * Bow I'm aware of that. I did think of writing she string / unstring and decided not to. I'm being lazy. * Helm No, helmet is not a word I intended to use. I've a habit of using helm to describe medieval headgear. *Hand of days It's deliberate. I never intended to use "handful" as I want to keep the tone of the language / common tongue to a more archaic flavour instead of modern English. I'm not well versed in archaic languages unfortunately so I can only assume a sort of pseudo style. I did the same for the Korean historical fic, I adhered strictly to the customs, language, manner of that era and try to keep out any modern references. Oh, I`m really sorry! I was just trying to help. I will use your idea to constantly updating a freshly posted story. Since I`ve finished the one about Varric, I intend to revive an older attempt to describe events from Aveline`s first year in Kirkwall, and how she found hey way into the City Guard. It sounds like a good idea to me while reducing the number of posts.
|
|
inherit
ღ Aerial Flybys
61
0
1
26,195
Obsidian Gryphon
10,134
August 2016
obsidiangryphon
ObsidianGryphon
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
|
Post by Obsidian Gryphon on Mar 4, 2017 15:06:56 GMT
Oh, I`m really sorry! I was just trying to help. I will use your idea to constantly updating a freshly posted story. Since I`ve finished the one about Varric, I intend to revive an older attempt to describe events from Aveline`s first year in Kirkwall, and how she found hey way into the City Guard. It sounds like a good idea to me while reducing the number of posts. Oh it's fine. No need to apologise since I know you're trying to help No worries. Definitely, cutting up a working chapter into different posts will make it confusing. That's why I added the explanation at the top. Once it's finished, I'll simply put; chapter complete.
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 5, 2017 11:02:36 GMT
Obsidian Gryphon I remembered an old history book about Medieval Western Europe. " A Distant Mirror - The Calamitous 14th Century" by Barbara W. Tuchman. It was first published in 1978 and I have a 1988 edition. I searched for it in my library and found it. It follows the life of a French noble, Enguerrand de Coucy through much of the 14`th Century, and has vivid descriptions of social, political and everyday life for nobles, priests, and peasants mostly in France, but also in England during the period. Many details about childhood, education (including being a squire for nobles), wars, politics, economy, castles, life in castles, marriage. And also great disasters like the Black Death and the 100 years war. It may be a good source if you can find a copy.
|
|
inherit
Wanted Apostate
127
0
18,242
Catilina
11,030
August 2016
catilina
Top
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
|
Post by Catilina on Mar 5, 2017 13:03:39 GMT
Obsidian GryphonAbout modern or archaic language: Umberto Eco: The name of the Rose. This isn't fantasy, historical novel: medieval monastery, murders, Inquisition. He used modern language (with some religious terminology what used in the monasteries), but the novel was able to convey the atmosphere of the age and place well.
|
|
inherit
ღ Aerial Flybys
61
0
1
26,195
Obsidian Gryphon
10,134
August 2016
obsidiangryphon
ObsidianGryphon
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
|
Post by Obsidian Gryphon on Mar 5, 2017 23:55:28 GMT
adrianbc, thanks. It's an old title so it may be hard to get but I'll see what I can dig up. Catilina , thanks. I'll look it up. Appreciate the tips, folks.
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 6, 2017 4:13:40 GMT
Maybe you can find "A Distant Mirror" in electronic format. It`s a very influential work. The book offers a very good description of Middle Age Western Europe`s social, political and cultural life; it is heavily documented - the author have spent about 7 years preparing it. You can place "A Distant Mirror" at the start of the current trend of social history - describing the daily life and not just the major events like wars and king successions. What is even more relevant for the Dragon Age series is the fact that she wanted initially to write a book about how Western Europe reacted during the 14`th Century Black Death epidemics (which is quite close to the impact of the DA`s 5`th Blight) but realized that the people treated the epidemic as just another threat, not as a major disaster like we are thinking in hindsight. So she shifted her focus, but the Black Death epidemics is still described in detail. Barbara W. Tuchman wrote popular history books (thus outside the academic environment) but mainly because this way she had more freedom to choose her topic, viewpoints, and make an impact: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_W._TuchmanIn my case, it changed my viewpoint totally about Middle Ages history.
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 6, 2017 12:05:13 GMT
This is a work in progress. The story will be constantly updated until finished.
The storyteller is rogue Garrett Hawke
The shadow guard
Aveline was sitting on an empty crate, looking in the distance. The sea was calm, and the scent of algae mixed with the heavy smell of fish from the harbor. The sun almost disappeared under the horizon, but she wasn`t watching the sunset, just a ship anchored in the distance, waiting for the tide.
She wished to be on board. What am I doing here anyway? But she glanced again toward the stairs leading to the upper city. Hawke and Bethany were almost on the top, among the other smugglers.
She sighed, turning her gaze again toward the bay entrance. I know exactly what am I doing: watching the Hawkes. Cursed Blight and cursed Kirkwall.
Without the Blight, Wesley would have been alive, and both back in Denerim, or on another assignment. And both of them would have been content and with a purpose. Not wandering through Kirkwall, out of sight of the Hawkes but always close.
This is some kind of purpose, but not enough. Still, if anything happens to them and I`m not there to help… But what can a single warrior do in case of an ambush from the Coterie, Carta or any rival group? There were too many dangers in Kirkwall for a small smuggler crew and almost no protection. Apart for the Hawkes the rest of the crew was unseasoned, amateurish. They looked good and disciplined, but she knew. Like she knew at Ostagar, before that fateful battle.
Cailan, Loghain, curse you both! Curse your pride, entitlement, and stupidity! You have both reached your goals, one fighting with the Gray Wardens against the Blight, the other making sure that no Orlesian will set foot in Ferelden for a while! But what about all that good but inexperienced men and women who have died because of you both? And how much more died at Lothering smashed, trampled, hacked while screaming? How much more will follow until those monsters will be sated, or wiped out? There will be any Ferelden left?
And for those who survived, there were the nightmares. Like hers, every evening, when stars started glowing and lights were lit everywhere in the city. Just like at Ostagar, before the last battle. Stars, candles, men praying … and then the entire Horde came out in full force. A huge, ominous mass of hissing and grunting monsters with just one goal: to kill any humans in its path. She saw them again, heard the sound of arrows and the yelps of dogs and screams of men. Dying. She shut hard her eyes and started breathing slowly, very slowly.
Aveline finally calmed her breath and got up. It was almost dark, and she told the Hawkes that she was out for a job offer. Time to go back to Lowtown and meet them as if by chance.
She walked toward the main alley, looking slowly around. The docks were almost deserted, only a few sailors and workers were busy carrying some crates to a warehouse. Their low chatter carried over. Aveline was close to the stairs when a familiar metallic sound made her stop. Mail armor. What the…
She saw a few shadows creeping toward a side alley. Ambush, but for whom? Aveline unstrapped her shield and freed her sword with fluid motions. A warehouse, maybe. Rival gangs, or merchants? She closed on them silently. There were six shadows, all tall and well made. Not dwarves. Coterie? They stopped on the front of a warehouse. Two went on either side of the door, two stayed ten paces in front of it, five paces between them. Ambush. Few targets. Who? She watched them, covered by a stack of discarded crates.
*** Ewald opened the last crate and looked inside. Bright colored cotton garments again. He turned to his companion: “Put the lids back and let`s go. I don`t get it.”
“Yes, sir. But what have you expected, anyway?” said Harald, the young guard in a rather bored voice.
He probably just wants to be home, with his young wife and child, considered Ewald. “Weapons and other things. The manifest copy says indeed garments, but I`ve got a tip about something else.”
“Sir. Maybe this is the wrong warehouse…”
“Warehouse 14, D`Agostini from Treviso,” Ewald looked again at the manifest and showed it to Harald. “And this is number 14. All the crates have D`Agostini crests and “Treviso” marked on the side. Everything matches the manifest.”
“So what`s the problem? Maybe the information was wrong.”
“Maybe. But Paolo D`Agostini`s mansion in Hightown and his lifestyle means wealth. Great wealth. And somehow not fitting with the contents of this warehouse. Not even if we would have found silk. I don`t really care what he`s selling and to whom unless he deals with weapons. I don`t want any more weapons in Kirkwall. We have enough trouble with the Coterie, Carta, and several other thief guilds. Not to mention the Merchant Guild. Those are maybe the worst of all. Anyway, it`s late and we found nothing. Put back the lids, Harald and let`s get out of here.”
“Yes, Sir. If you can help me with more light,” observed Harrald, businesslike.
“No light, Harald. We shouldn`t be here, and I don`t want any kind of attention. I`ll help you finish.” Ewald's voice became more like a whisper as if suddenly expecting danger.
*** The door opened and two men came out. City Guard outfit, officer`s marks on one. One of the two men in front, likely the leader, covered the distance with big strides, greatsword held casually in his right hand.
“End of the road, boys. Lay down your weapons and we`ll give you a quick and painless death. Or something much more if you resist…” His voice wanted to sound casual but revealed a great deal about the man. Exaggerated confidence. And a large amount of cruelty. Just like …
Aveline made a quick appraisal. On each side, there was a duo with crossbow and sword and shield. The sixth man carried a longbow with an arrow ready, and a bunch more in his left hand. Not again! She did not hesitate one second.
“Guards, on me!”
Shouting with her command voice, angrier than ever, she charged the bowman from his right, before he has a chance to react. All six thugs turned their heads, startled, toward the sound. Aveline already reached the bowman`s place. She hit him with the shield in the face, sword held to the side. The archer staggered backward, throat exposed. Aveline`s sword described a wide arc, chopping off his head. By then both guards were back to back, engaging the swordsmen, shield raised covering their upper front. Without pausing, Aveline charged the leader, raising her shield to block the incoming high blow with the rim, then she pushed the shield upward hitting him under the chin. Her sword went down fast, chopping at his left leg, severing muscles and arteries, almost reaching the knee. The leader went down howling.
Both swordsmen were already down. The crossbowmen tried to run, but Aveline blocked the only escape route. One went down being hit by the officer. Aveline severed the right arm of the other. While the guard finished off the surviving gang members, the officer hit the leader in the head with the pommel of his sword.
“We need this alive,” he said while turning toward Aveline, staring at her. No recognition thought Aveline.
“You are no guard,” said Ewald, expecting an answer.
“No, Captain Ewald. But the ruse worked,” said Aveline bluntly.
“But who are you? Where did you learn to fight like this? That`s a Templar shield. Are you one of Meredith`s Templars?” asked Ewald confused.
“You saw me with the Hawke family a few weeks ago. I`m Aveline Vallen, First Lieutenant, Ferelden Royal Guard. Acting Captain 2nd company at Ostagar.The shield belonged to my husband Wesley. He died at Lothering.”
“Now I remember, and also how you`ve defeated the gang leader at the Gallows. This is the second time you have saved my life. You are a good soldier,” said Ewald, finally smiling, with a hint of recognition on his face. “But your fighting style is quite unusual.”
“My father taught me. He was a Chevalier in Orlais. And I was at Ostagar, serving King Cailan`s army. You learn fast against darkspawn.”
“Then you are more than fit to serve in the city guard. There is an empty lieutenant position right now. I can`t give you back your rank right away, but I can offer you a position in the guard immediately. Give me your credentials and I petition the Viscount for a fast promotion to Lieutenant. It can be done in a few weeks.”
“I… thank you for the offer. I need to think about this.”
“I am the one who should thank you. No rush, Lieutenant. We can also talk while we go back to the city. Harald, help me carry this bag of meat.” Ewald sounded a bit tired.
Harald was looking puzzled at something in the distance. “Captain! Is that…”
An arrow hit him in the throat, the wide arrowhead piercing his neck in a spray of blood. His body collapsed. The second arrow hit the leader in the left side of his chest, through his heart. Aveline and Ewald instantly raised their shields, retreating slowly toward the warehouse door. The door rim offered some cover. They waited, listening hard. No sound, footsteps or anything. Both stood still a few minutes.
“Captain Ewald. I accept your offer,” said Aveline suddenly with a determined voice.
“Thank you, Lieutenant. I guess this is over for now. Let`s go to the city and bring down a patrol to clear out the bodies. Can you help me with Harald? I don`t want to leave him here.”
*** Aveline sat at a table at The Hanged Man, waiting for Ewald to arrive. She has chosen one at a corner, away from the crowd gathered around a larger table in the middle of the room. On top of it stood a strange beardless dwarf who managed to drink and to speak at the same time. He shouted a tale involving dragons, golems, nugs and a dwarf looking strangely like him. Except it was a woman. The crowd cheered and laughed.
She felt tired and a bit dizzy. It was a long day. She went through a lot of paperwork. Dozens of forms for every piece of equipment she received, request for a position in the guard, petition for a Lieutenant position, request for patrol duty… She almost forgot this part of the military. But the worst part came after. Someone had to bring the bad news to Harald`s family, and she volunteered. She needed to do it.
Ewald sat down in front of her. He smiled. A tired smile. “Sorry for being late.” He glanced toward the table with the dwarf, who just paused to fill his cup. The dwarf noticed him with a nod. Ewald did the same.
“Why did you wanted to meet me here? It`s not my favorite place,” asked Aveline, not really expecting an answer. Just to start the conversation. She rarely entered The Hanged Man, not because she outright hated the place. But the casual banter and laughter reminded her too much of the time spent in the Royal Guard, with all those good women and men. Now most of them are dead.
“What I wanted to discuss is not for the ears in the barracks. Besides, the news about you saving my life has spread. It`s expected to give you a treat in a tavern,” said Ewald casually, but with a hint of concern in his voice. “Let`s just act like guards out for a few drinks at the end of a full day.”
“It`s about last evening then,” Aveline answered the unspoken question, trying to behave casually. “About the ambush at the warehouse.”
“Yes. But I want to ask you two things. Why did you come to our rescue? And why did you volunteered to tell about Harald`s death?” Harald sounded a bit tense as if waiting for a specific answer.
He doesn`t trust me, and my motives realized Aveline suddenly. My rescue could look a bit too convenient, considering my perfect timing and the outcome. Conveniently, no one survived, including Harald. Ewald is considering that all this is a ploy to have me recruited in the Guard. For what end? There is something strange going on in Kirkwall, and the ambush is related with this.
“I was returning to Lowtown when I saw the thugs setting up an ambush, then you two emerging from the warehouse. You stood no chance to defend from every attack. Defending from the swordsmen would have exposed you to the leader`s charge. The bowman would have picked you one at the time. It was a normal thing to do,” Aveline answered, looking at Ewald. “You had no support, and the thugs did not expect my presence. My charge gave you both a chance to survive the ambush.”
“Normal thing to do? Most of my guardsmen would have been frozen by shock. To charge like this was reckless. The two crossbowmen could have easily dropped you while defending from the leader.
Aveline sighed, looking away. How to explain it to him? “I was at Ostagar the entire time with King Cailan. We fought the emerging darkspawn in several battles. Each time we won. But the cost was high. We lost many officers. Darkspawn doesn`t fight like any other foe. I have fought in few skirmishes before, against bandits or some hot-headed nobles. Everybody is afraid before battle. You need a bit of time to adjust, to realize that this is serious, about life and death.
Not so against darkspawn. The first time we fought them, the darkspawn just charged, oblivious to anything. Imagine a sea of monsters coming fast against you. We tried to slow down the charge with arrows. There was no slowing down. We killed hundreds, and they kept coming faster. The soldiers panicked, so we officers charged in front to stop the rout. Many of us were killed. Darkspawn don`t react to wounds, they fight until they`re dead. They infiltrated our line, hacking in every direction. Ogres were the worst. Even one was able to easily breach the line, and it took dozens to put one down.
We found out that the only way to stop them once they charged was to hold the line firm, allowing enough time for the archers to drop most of them with volleys. Then charge the survivors. But the officers and our best soldiers needed to be in front. By the time of the last battle, we lost almost half of the officers and many more veterans. I started as a sergeant and ended as acting captain.”
Ewald was quiet for a time, then he asked slowly: “What happened at the last battle?”
“It was a massacre,” Aveline started, somehow relieved that she could finally speak about all this. “Cailan wanted a decisive battle. We split the army into two units. Cailan was to hold the charging darkspawn in place while Loghain smashed into them from their left flank. The army was too small to try anything else. Most officers opposed the plan, explaining to the king that the army is inexperienced, and we need more time to become a cohesive army, and also reinforcements. Cailan didn`t want to listen. Worse, he took command and ordered us to charge instead to hold a defensive line. And Loghain never showed up. Cailan died in battle. I will never forgive him.”
“You blame Cailan for trying to stop the Blight?”
“ I blame him for his reckless behavior and trying to emulate his father Maric for personal glory. Instead of being just Cailan, and do his best. Otherwise, the king did the right thing. He listened to the Grey Wardens, gathered the army and tried to stop the darkspawn emerging from the Deep Roads to advance into Ferelden. He also sought out allies. I heard rumors that he contacted Empress Celene for aid, and Loghain was angry because of that. Cailan was a good man, but he grew up with tales about the Rebellion, and heroic battles. After each victory against the darkspawn, he was elated. Never understood how much we lost each time, and how close we were to defeat. So that`s what happened.” said Aveline with a calm voice.
“I still don`t understand why you decided to help us,” insisted Ewald.
“Those thugs looked confident, but they never faced a real battle. I saw them. The moment I charged they froze. It was over before it begun. As for why it`s simple. If somebody targets guards, something dangerous is happening. The confidence showed by those thugs means one thing: they were informed. They expected you to be there and knew there were only two against six. What were you doing in that warehouse, anyway?”
Ewald remained silent, looking at Aveline with a confused face.
Aveline straightened in her chair and looked straight in Ewald`s eyes: “It was a military decision. To give you a chance to survive. Like at Ostagar, during the first battle. I saw the inhuman reaction of the darkspawn in close combat, which made most of our soldiers terrified. I had only two options available: to go in front and kill as many darkspawn as possible, as quickly as possible. To make my men see that the monsters can be killed and defeated. To make them regain their morale. It was instinctive, and most of us officers did it at the same time. Don`t react and all of us would have been doomed since the army would have fled and been cut down. I didn`t expect to survive. Many of us died in that first encounter.
Yesterday it was the same thing. I saw the thugs deploying, and you two emerging from the warehouse. Giving you a chance to survive was my goal, and nothing else. All that ambush was way too similar to what happened at the last battle at Ostagar. I had no chance to change the outcome then. But yesterday evening was a second chance to me.”
Ewald relaxed visibly, nodding. Then he asked: “This is why you volunteered for bringing the news to Harald`s family?”
“I needed to find a new purpose after Ostagar. That battle was like the end of the road for me. I survived, but my old life was gone. Together with my husband. I needed a goal for a new life. That`s all.”
“All right then, said Ewald relieved. This is what I wanted to discuss with you: I`ve found yesterday a copy of shipping manifest about a recent cargo and a note at my desk. The note said something about a cargo of weapons, explosives, and poison. The warehouse is the property of an Antivan nobleman residing in Hightown. So I took the note seriously. His name is Paolo D`Agostini, and apparently, he imports clothes from Antiva. I wanted to check it out. The alley was deserted, no activity so I searched the warehouse, and…”
“Wait. How did you get inside?” Aveline interrupted him.
“The door was open, nobody inside. So I took the opportunity.”
“You what?” Aveline stood up and threw an angry look at Ewald. “A warehouse full of goods with the door open has trap written all over.”
“I know. It was stupid, but I couldn`t resist. I took the chance, and it ended badly, with Harald dead. But I was concerned. Antiva means also the Crows. If an Antivan Guild joins the other criminal gangs already here, I don`t know if we can protect Kirkwall.”
“At least you should have come with a squad to support you,” noticed Aveline, still angry.
“I intended only to look around first, and a squad would have looked suspicious. We make our patrol in pairs. I know I made a big mistake last evening. I don`t know what I was thinking. That open door was too tempting.”
Aveline sat back, thinking. This was a planned trap. Somebody knew Ewald will be there with only a single guard. Somebody from the barracks informed the Antivans. Ewald was followed, the trap prepared. She looked at Ewald: “Who wrote the note?”
“It was no name. Just a short note and the manifest. My guess is we have an informer among us, working with the Antivans.”
“And this is why you wanted to talk with me here. I`m new and I saved your life. So you wanted to know if I am either involved, or you can trust me. You want my help to find out the mole.”
Ewald nodded. “That too. But more important is to find out if there is a new threat, and how serious it is.”
“I want to help you, but I`m not very good at spying and politics. And I know very little about Kirkwall. Do you have a plan?” asked Aveline, uncertain.
“I`ll assign you to different patrols, at the docks, and in Hightown. I want you to look after anything suspicious happening around D`Agostini`s mansion and warehouse. The other guards you were patrolling with must not know what are you doing. In the meantime, I`ll see if I can find out more about this Antivan.”
Aveline was silent for a moment. She was thinking about something and wondered if she can trust Ewald enough. But she has no real choice. “I accept. But I want something in return. In the last weeks, I kept an eye on Hawke and his sister. They work for Athenril the smuggler. It was the only way we could afford the bribe to enter the city. I want you to ask somebody to follow them for me, to keep them out of trouble. But not a guard. Somebody you can trust.”
Ewald smiled. “So this is the reason you were at the docks last evening. Now it`s all clear. Your request is unusual, but I think I know just the right person for the job. I did not forget Hawke`s part in the skirmish back in the Gallows. I was sorry I couldn`t help you then. This is my chance to repay all of you. Hawke will be safe.”
“Thank you, Captain. For my job and Hawke. We`ll find out about your Antivan.”
Ewald noticed that the dwarf finished his tale and climbed down. “It`s settled then. I must leave you now. It`s time for me to learn more about this D`Agostini and his business in Kirkwall.”
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
1255
0
Apr 29, 2024 18:56:16 GMT
Deleted
0
Apr 29, 2024 18:56:16 GMT
January 1970
Deleted
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2017 12:13:15 GMT
Obsidian GryphonAbout modern or archaic language: Umberto Eco: The name of the Rose. This isn't fantasy, historical novel: medieval monastery, murders, Inquisition. He used modern language (with some religious terminology what used in the monasteries), but the novel was able to convey the atmosphere of the age and place well. Damn, I cried when I heard Eco died last year. Loved some of his books....
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 6, 2017 12:30:55 GMT
Damn, I cried when I heard Eco died last year. Loved some of his books.... You will also like "Invisible Cities", published in 1972 and "If on a winter's night a traveller", published in 1979 by Italo Calvino. I described the first book shortly - a fictional tale about Marco Polo and Kublai Khan discussing cities from Polo`s travels, which is a pretext for a collection of more than a hundred of short imaginary descriptions of cities. The second book is a story about a reader who wanted to finish reading a new novel but finds out that its content was mixed with other ones. Which is just an excuse to write a book with ten different first chapters from 10 different novels. Not your usual novels at all ... Sadly, Calvino died in 1985.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
1255
0
Apr 29, 2024 18:56:16 GMT
Deleted
0
Apr 29, 2024 18:56:16 GMT
January 1970
Deleted
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2017 12:40:02 GMT
@'Obsidian Gryphon' it's a nice mood setting piece. If you are moving forward on it, the use of archaic language might help with Coming to the decidedly post 17th century Val Royeaux as sort of a culture shock. adrianbc my only grip with the las of the Varric's story is that it all was handled as a dialogue. I'd be more inclined to see it as actual action sequence, because to be honest it's all there anyway. Aveline at crossroads, making a descision to join the guards is a well-picked moment in DA2. I guess, it's pretty much Swords and Shields by Varric!
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 6, 2017 13:14:33 GMT
@'Obsidian Gryphon' it's a nice mood setting piece. If you are moving forward on it, the use of archaic language might help with Coming to the decidedly post 17th century Val Royeaux as sort of a culture shock. adrianbc my only grip with the las of the Varric's story is that it all was handled as a dialogue. I'd be more inclined to see it as actual action sequence, because to be honest it's all there anyway. Aveline at crossroads, making a descision to join the guards is a well-picked moment in DA2. I guess, it's pretty much Swords and Shields by Varric! "Rite of Passage" was told by Garret Hawke, a purple rogue, based on Varric`s "confession". So I imagined that Hawke would have wanted some sort of a payback concerning Varric for his many tall tales about him recited by Varric in every Kirkwall tavern for 7 years at least. And also for the "Tale of Champion". So I tried to write the story as if retold by a joking Hawke, who perhaps changed or even invented some exchanges between characters. Also, Varric is normally quite laconic about his own life and exploits, so he might have left out a few details. I am still thinking to write that Varric interview done by Hawke for the Kirkwall Gazette. I just need to be in the right mood to write it. Because it will be more like a showdown between two jokers ... The story about Aveline will have some extended dialogue parts (when needed) but also more action. She is more used to talk with her sword, anyway. And it`s also a story told by Hawke. So expect a short introductory and end note from him when the story is finished. But it will be on a more serious note than Varric`s. Aveline is not really about fun ... I imagine Aveline`s story happening a few months after the Prologue, in a period when she still had nightmares about Ostagar and was quite angry with both Cailan and Loghain. AND the 5th Blight was still raging. Also, expect some surprises, and the closing up of some loose lines left by Bioware.
|
|
adrianbc
N3
Games: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 330 Likes: 582
inherit
2913
0
582
adrianbc
330
Jan 20, 2017 10:05:58 GMT
January 2017
adrianbc
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by adrianbc on Mar 6, 2017 13:23:44 GMT
Obsidian Gryphon Your story about Alaryn is just better and better. The second part of Chapter 2 fits well as a traditional farewell in a noble family. And now I am quite sure that Alaryn &Co will hit trouble soon ...
|
|