10 David Gaider facts you are better off not knowing

1.) David Gaider owns 7 pairs of underwear, 2 of which are blue.

2.) Gaider has 17 children with 3 women, 2 men, and an ostrich. The oldest of which is famed popstar Britney Spears.

3.) Prior to being hired by Bioware as a writer, Gaider managed a hotel and escort agency.

4.) Gaider was once implicated in the murder of Madonna. However the charges were dropped due to a Canadian law that a defendant is Acquitted if the judge mysteriously ends up dead on a mountain. Also, Madonna isn't dead.

5.) Stanley Woo AKA Ninja Stan, was bullied mercilessly by Gaider in high school. The two once got in a fistfight over a girl, which ended up with Woo getting permanent damage to the right of his skull. To this day, Woo is colorblind in his left eye, which is a lighter shade of brown than his right.

6.) Gaider recommended that his childhood friend, Osama Bin Laden, provide the voice to Urdnot Wrex. Casey Hudson said no, and instead gave the role to some other douche bag.

7.) Some believe that Gaider is over 140 years old, those people are really gullible.

8.) Gaider once offered Lindsay Lohan 200,000 dollars and a bag of Canadian weed in exchange for her virginity. He later renigged on the deal, saying,"Oh Lindsay, you do not understand our Canadian Humor".

9.) Gaider has over 100 pounds of platinum implanted underneath his skin. He is able to withstand multiple gunshot wounds to even the head. Oddly, he gets shot at a lot, the last time being at the San Diego comic con where an unknown assailant shot 3 5.56mm rounds into his stomach.

10.) Ninja Stan can't ban me for this.