Dragon Age Memes/Random DA Funnies Thread

...why is Morrigan so buff?

I wonder how many people will get the reference.

Some Soviet jokes repurposed as Qunari and Tal-Vashoth jokes from this fanfic:
“A meeting of the Salasari convenes. The Ariqun opens with a saying from Ashkaari Koslun: the dog which barks must receive the first cut meat. The Arigena and the Arishok nod along, but as soon as the meeting is over, they turn to one another in confusion. ‘What’s bark?’ asks she. ‘What’s meat?’ asks he.”
“An old tamassran is instructing her successors in how to explain the Qun to their charges. One of the students raises her hand. ‘Tama, do you think we might one day live in the world as it must be?’ The tamassran was silent for a moment. ‘No. But as for your charges… your poor charges…’”
“Ashtalan was asked: Is it true that when the world is as it is to be that there will be no need for reeducators? And Ashtalan replied: Of course! When things are as they must be, the people will reeducate themselves!”
“Ashtalan was asked: What is chaos? And Ashtalan replied: It is not my role to speak of the affairs of the Antaam.”
Ashtalan was asked: Would it be possible to bring the Qun to the Magisters? And Ashtalan replied: Yes, but after they used blood magic on it, the Qun would have to be destroyed.”
“Ashtalan was asked: Is it true that to be reeducated is to bring glory to the Qun? The Ashtalan was silent for a moment, before she pointed to the viddath-bas picking garbage up from the streets. And Ashtalan replied: It is. But you don’t have to take my word for it. My peer turned herself in for re-education last year, and she can only say ‘good thing’ now.”
“…okay, so a Saarebas escapes to the Tevinter Imperium. Naturally, they want to use her for propaganda, so she’s brought before the Senate. One of the magisters peers down at her and says ‘you poor thing, you must have been kept collared away from your magic’, and Saarebas tells him that she couldn’t complain about that, she was allowed to set things on fire pretty often. ‘You must have been kept isolated from all other people’ says another Senator, and the Saarebas tells him that she couldn’t complain about that, her Karantaam was actually pretty close-knit. ‘Then you must have been mistreated by them’ says a third Senator, but the Saarebas says that she couldn’t complain about that either, as her aravaad was always kind to her. ‘Then what are you doing here?’ demands a forth Senator. ‘Ah,’ says the Saarebas, pointing to her mouth. ‘Here I can complain.’”
“Spoilsport. Anyway, I was thinking… most of those Qun jokes you’ve been telling me seem pretty critical of the Qun. Do people never get in trouble for telling them?”
“Eh, you have to be careful about it- you don’t tell them out on the street to just anyone, but with friends behind closed doors… when I was Ben-Hassrath, we were always told to just let it happen. It’s a pressure valve. People letting off steam by laughing instead of with violence is a good thing.”
“Huh.”
“Not that there was never any risk, of course. There’s this one joke that goes like this: a vidathiss sits down next to a tallis over lunch, chuckling and shaking his head. Tallis asks him what’s so funny. ‘I just heard the funniest joke!’ Vidathiss tells her. Tallis asks him to repeat it, and Vidathiss replies ‘I can’t. But if can get to the prisoner in Cell 101 before they qamek him, I’m sure he’ll be happy to repeat it.’”
“The Fog Warriors, the Siccari, and the Ben-Hassrath all gather together, and decide to settle the matter of who should have control over Seheron with a contest: whoever can catch a rabbit released into the Qetaarnia Forest the quickest will win. The Siccari go first: their rabbit is released, and after an hour they go after it, bristling with slaves and lyrium. A great deal of screaming later, the forest is on fire, all the slaves have been sacrificed and there are abominations everywhere. It is decided that the rabbit was a trick, and never existed. The Siccari declare the contest a farce and return home to receive accolades for their bravery until the next invasion season. The Fog Warriors go next, disappearing after their rabbit after an hour with nary a sound. They are never seen or heard from again: it is presumed that the rabbit joined their numbers. Finally, the Ben-Hassrath have their turn. They wait their hour, go after the rabbit, and emerge some days later with a bear, dosed to the gills with qamek and chewing placidly on a carrot, and declare themselves the victor.”

Bull did say they are carefully bred for ultimate performance.

Do these count? Lolol

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Also, invisible horses. Very uncouth.







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oh god can't stahp




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