help im getting a bollocking from Leliana and Morrigan

Lol. What did you expect? They do not share.
Who do you like more?

Morrigan at this point. Feels like her romance is canon just like Liara. 

Morrigan is the only option!

I got the catty "me or her!" bit without even romancing or flirting with Leliana: I had romanced Morrigan, and simply checked in with Leliana often (as I did with almost all the companions, everyone save Oghren) and always chose the polite/friendly (but never the flirty) dialogue options, and still had this happen.

That sounds like a weird bug.

You could go back to a previous save before they force you to choose and break up with Leliana. If you can't do it, I think there is a polyamory mod so you can have all the relationships you want without the jealousy part when they force you to choose. Try that one and break up with her.

But I have to do the long mission to get the urn of ashes of what ever it is called. 

I heard it's in the dwarven area. I haven't even touched that part of the map yet. Do I still have a chance? 

Thank you. Should I dump Leliana before?

It worked guys thanks

He is a greedy bad man, wants to cheat and escape the mess he made.

sure, no doubt about it.