DA 4 Romances! New info for real this time!!! Zom-bangin'?

But is that not her flirting with Hawke? How is that taking away player agency?

To me the issue with that scene is the goofy smile Hawke gets when Isabela mentions that she has a room at the Hanged Man; it looks like they're interested.

Peebee getting all up on you isn't even the worst thing, you can literally shove her off.
The worst thing though, with Peebee, is that when she is like '' wanna fug '' the only way to say no is to basically be like '' Oh, Peebee, no, I'm sorry ''

There's no '' what makes you think I'd be interested in that '' or just a strict, normal '' no, not interested. '' But the tone is all sad and remorseful. I HATED IT.

The issue isn't that it happens. That's part of Peebee's characterization. The problem is Ryder's response, or limited options. As WC says, the tone is remorseful. I think it's one thing to be a bit sad if someone, especially if you consider them a friend, confessed their feelings and you don't reciprocate, but here she's propositioning you, which is considerably more uncomfortable and awkward as hell. She makes it even worse with the "I don't care if you're involved with someone else" line. I knew the scene was coming and still felt super weird about it and it would have affected how my Scott was around her for a while afterward.

Really? I guess that didn't trigger for me since I intentionally held off on the Gil lock-in for RP reasons.

Who the fuck is "Peebee"?

masseffect.fandom.com/wiki/Pelessaria_B%27Sayle

As you say the scene fits her character perfectly. My character was very happy to jump her bones.
Listening to the rejection for the first time i can see why they went for a simple no. I guess a more indignant no could be there. Maybe a situation where the pragmatic solution would be for voice actor to play it straight rather than injecting the remorseful tone into it.

I’d completely forgotten traynor having a go at my shep in citadel.

You did not mention the faces Hawke makes. The dialogue you used as an example was not a case of taking away player agency. Asking you to clarify is not being uppity.

Lock ins can help. I remember first time round having an incredibly awkward lunch with kaidan in me3 with my heterosexual shep who was in along term thing with Miranda but was still waiting for chance to lock. 

IIRC, that scene got a lot of pushback and Hawke's reaction was changed in a patch.

(Also, tbf I'm not sure people were interpreting it as it was intended. I read it as Hawke being somewhat bemused or surprised at how forward she was.)


FTFY.

My FemSheps were always presumed to be involved with Kaidan in ME1, and could not attempt a friendly conversation with Jacob without dropping into a stomach-turning sultry pose and voice. In ME3, my very out lesbian Shep couldn't get past a couple of conversations with Vega without exchanging sexual innuendos. Also, I needed to make sure to lock in Liara or Traynor before the citadel meet-up with Kaidan.

As for DAO, I learned pretty quickly not to get too friendly with Alistair until I'd locked in Leliana, lest I end up with a rose stuck in my inventory. Speaking of which, I very nearly drove poor old Wynne batty once chatting with her when neither of them were locked in (I never flirt with Alistair, ever, but his approval builds). She started in with the relationship lecture, switching off between Leliana and Alistair every other sentence. It was pretty funny.

They did handle Garrus really well - if you opted not to take the flirt option in ME2, you could remain best buddies.

It's always a tightrope.  Some people really want LIs to show interest first, others don't like having to turn them down.  I personally get a little uncomfortable with the idea of hitting on a subordinate, but otherwise I think they should just do whatever they think best suits the character.