The Dragon Age 4 Fake Spoiler Thread

*Considers copy/pasting that "leak" from a few years ago*

That thing was full of nonsense.

That's the one!

First of all, how dare you all

What have I ever done to you?

At the funeral, the HoF you used in the Keep will be laid out in all their 2009 glory, exactly as you last saw them. Isabela will loot the Blood Dragon armor from their corpse.

Griffins are not extinct. They secretly rule every nation in Thedas. Their bidding is done by their nug spies. All will be revealed when the nug king returns and challenges the protagonist to a dance off.

Technically this is a real spoiler (his wolf form).

Technically, the wolf form isn't Solas. Besides, as part dragon now, he might be more scaley than furry.  

The warden, hawks and inquisitor will return but there will be downsides

You have to play all at the same time (literally) 3 controllers
The warden will be only text based voice

Your companions will act all confused as they won’t know who the leader is

Solas has turned all the nugs into vicious predators that one shot everything

It's revealed that Solas was preparing an army to combat the threat from Those Beyond The Sea, the same enemy the Qunari ran from when they arrived in Thedas. He lied about the Evanuris because he didn't want to scare people with knowledge of an unstoppable enemy. Turns out Those Beyond The Sea are gigantic, skyscraper sized squids who screech in Dub-step and shoot boiling hot ink from their glans, they call themselves the Grims. Then halfway through the game the Grims arrive and begin to purge Thedas of all life, so nature can reclaim it, because the cycle of nature cannot be broken by artificial interference. Near the end of the game we get a messenger that approaches and tells our company about The Miracle at Par Vollen how the Qunari destroyed several Grims by launching a suicide attack with several Dreadnoughts. This inspires the folks of Thedas, and together with Solas we drive the Grims back beyond Sea. It is at this moment that Solas strikes, and reveals that he lied about his lie about the Evanuris, and he needed Soul Essence from the Grims to shatter the Veil, which he does at once while evilly monologueing, because the Evanuris are actually his buddies, one more lie he told, and he releases them and they all fist bump and laugh while your party is utterly stomped and Thedas is brought to Heel, and Solas assumes the mantle of Leadership with his buddies and rules all of Thedas forever while he hangs the corpses of your party, the inquisitor, the HoF, Hawke, everyone we ever loved or cared about in the franchise outside of his palaces walls, as a lesson to all future generations that resistance is futile. The End.

There is a Tevene arena. It involves nude wrestling and chariot races. Due to the aforementioned lack of horses, the competitors pull the chariots while their companions ride with the coconuts.

Elfroot is really kale.

To think I have been collecting that crap for years.

All the characters will wear toupees. Even the dragons. And especially the nugs.