Your favorite dialogue from all of Dragon Age
Aug 8, 2016 6:51:48 GMT
vertigomez, Catilina, and 13 more like this
Post by phoray on Aug 8, 2016 6:51:48 GMT
Scraped from BSN Prime. It's pretty massive first post. I will add on more later. ^^
Doesn't have to be funny. Can be meaningful as well.
The Warden:
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Dog:
Random NPCs
Doesn't have to be funny. Can be meaningful as well.
The Warden:
- [To the First] "I guess you weren't "The First" in your class."
- (Jowan introduces Lily) "This fat cow is your girlfriend?"
- (Leliana talks about the stars) "So? Go help Alistair make supper."
- (To Ruck's mother) "Lady your son's a dung-eating lunatic."
- (After Morrigan's sex scene) "Why are you still talking?"
- (Alistair talks about Duncan) "He got what he deserved."
- Zevran: I'm surprised you haven't heard much of the Crows out here. Back where I come from we're rather infamous.
Warden: Not for being good assassins, I see. - "Can I get you a ladder? SO YOU CAN GET OFF MY BACK."
- The Warden to Tomas on entering Redcliffe Village: "Get out of my way. I have no time for slack-jawed fools."
- Morrigan to Dog: "A putrid, half-eaten hare is not something a woman wishes to find in her unmentionables..."
Warden to Morrigan: "Can't be any stinkier than what normally goes in them..." - Alistair: You know, I've been thinking...
Warden: Such a rare occurrence is worth informing me of, sure. - "I hear you're making a killing. Me too! (Kill him.)"
- City Elf Warden waking up a sleeping guard:
"I wanted you to be awake for this." (gives him the business side of the Murder Knife) - Warden (upon learning Alistair's parentage): So... you're not just a bastard, you're a royal bastard?
- Morrigan: I have a thought.
Warden: Just the one?
Morrigan: Oh hah hah, you're so witty. You and mother should start a comedy troupe. - Leliana: "There were many lovely young initiates in the Lothering cloister--all of them chaste and virtuous. Ah, it added to their mystique."
Leliana: "Because then... then they were forbidden, and forbidden fruit is the sweeter, no?"
Warden: "What about your fruit? Is it forbidden?" - We are all killers, AlistairVaughn's guard 1: Where did you get a weapon, elf?
Vaughn's guard 2: You'd better talk quick, scum!
Female city elf Warden: I was... err, he was... oh sod it. (throws murder knife)
Hawke; mostly sarcastic:- Everything s/he says. But more specifically...
- Hawke telling that one merc after Gamlen, "I'm surprised you even know what a note is, let alone how to read one."
- Gamlen can't say 'Good morning' without lying twice."
- "I have an excellent sense of dramatic timing. And good hair."
- "Maker, where did my pointy ears and sense of self righteousness go?"
- "If they're not dead, watch out for a bunch of boneless women flopping through the streets."
- "What's a Meckel?"
- "Last night I saw Ser (sorry forget his name) worshiping a great demon."
- "Your taking this pissing match a bit too far."
- "Don't worry. Helping people and killing people are what I'm best at."
- City Guard: "Did you kill them?"
Hawke: "It's hard to remember. I kill so many things." - "So this is it. Some of you are worried. Maybe I am too, but I'm not staying long enough to find out..."
- Looks like the duke has fallen from grace.
- Isabella: Isn't there an orphanage burning down somehwere?Diplomatic Hawke: [Sincerely] Why? Have you heard something?
- Tallis: What do you call it when you kill someone in order to get all their stuff?
Hawke (aggressive): Tuesday - Hawke: You're fast. Like... a mangy, blighted little mongoose.
Larius: I have... never been called that. - The magistrate will have your head!
Hawke: The magistrate can sod off. - Isabella: I'm glad you walked in here all those years ago.."
Hawke: ' I was drawn in, by the intoxicating aroma of stale ****** and vomit. - Sarcastic Hawke (betraying Janeka): Nothing personal, but you're kind of insane. And a b****. Oh wait, that is personal, isn't it?
- Sarcastic Hawke asking a rogue Tal-Vashoth on the Wounded Coast "You sure you know what mercenary means?"
- Hawke "dies" at Chateau Hainne
The Inquisitor- Inquisitor: I call for rehabilitation, the skull shall do public theatre about the Evils Of Evil. I also judge the box, end table for orphans.
Josephine: That's quite enough inquisitor, point taken. - Adaar: Oh, I don't know. You did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari.
Hawke: I don't see how that really applies... or is there a horde of rampaging Qunari I don't know about?
Adaar: I am a horde of rampaging Qunari. - "You answered the death of your clan..with a goat?"
- Sera: *pounds a nobleman's head into mush*
Inquisitor: "I think you're done. At this point you're making wine." - "All this happened because of fanatics and arguments about the next world. It's time we start believing in this one!"
- - "I'm not chosen. I HAVE chosen."
Alistair:- "Swooping is Bad."
- "Yes, but she seems more 'oooooh pretty colors!' than 'Mhuhaha, I am Princess Stabbity! Stab kill kill'!" (on recruiting Leliana)
- "Have you ever licked a lamp post in winter?"
Morrigan:- "We now have a dog and Alistair is still the dumbest one in the party."
- Warden: What will you do now?
Flemeth: Have a moment's peace for once.
Morrigan: I hear the peace of the grave is eternal. - Morrigan: Have a care where your eyes linger, Alistair.
Alistair: Yes, well don't worry. It's not what you think.
Morrigan: I see.
Alistair: I was looking at your nose.
Morrigan: And what is it about my nose that captivates you so?
Alistair: I was just thinking that it looks exactly like your mother's.
Morrigan: I hate you so much. - "Fools. Praying for help from a prophet they burned and a god who has turned his back on them not once but twice".
- A putrid, half-eaten hare is not something a woman wants to find in her unmentionables."
- Morrigan telling Warden "You have bedded me when you had the chance"
- Oghren: Have you ever thought about getting yourself a husband, Morrigan? It might do you some good, you know.
Morrigan: Tie myself to another with bonds of servitude? It serves no purpose.
Oghren: Don't you want little Morrigans running about some day? The pitter-pat of little witchy feet?
Morrigan: You say that as if one is necessary for the other to follow. My mother needed no husband to have her daughters.
Oghren: But you're no ugly, old forest witch. I'm sure you can land yourself a proper husband if you just show a bit more skin.
Morrigan: Is that how you "landed" your own wife? No wonder she turned to her own sex for comfort.
Oghren: Now that's just mean. - Morrigan: The way you look at him so intently, so hungrily... one would think you have never seen a man before.
Leliana: Where I look is not your concern.
Morrigan: True enough. There is no way I can deny you this... but why would he choose you, when he could have me?
Leliana: You're confident, for a woman raised in a swamp, far from anything remotely resembling civilization.
Morrigan: And maybe that is my appeal? A woman like you, why, he could find in any city in Thedas. You think you are cultured? Worldly?
Morrigan: Powdered, perfumed, you ooze elegance, but what man wants a woman who lies limp beneath him, frozen in place by the thought that she might ruin her hair?
Leliana: So you're saying you're wild and uninhibited? I suppose he must like your shrieking, you sound like a genlock being murdered--a sweet, sweet sound to a Grey Warden.
Leliana: You should try a little harder next time he takes you. I don't think they heard you in the Anderfels.
Morrigan: Tsk, tsk, Leliana. Watch your jealousy, or you'll give yourself wrinkles.
Leliana: Get away from me, or I shall have to take drastic measures.
Morrigan: Resorting to violence. And here I thought you were civilized - Morrigan: You seem so deep in thought, my dear Sten. Thinking of me, perhaps? The two of us, together at last?
Sten: Yes.
Morrigan: I... what did you say?
Sten: You will need armor, I think. And a helmet. And something to bite down on. How strong are human teeth?
Morrigan: How strong are my teeth?
Sten: Qunari teeth can bite through leather, wood, even metal given time. Which reminds me, I may try to nuzzle.
Morrigan: Nuzzle?
Sten: If that happens, you'll need an iron pry bar. Heat it in a fire, first, or it may not get my attention.
Morrigan: Perhaps it would be better if we did not proceed.
Sten: Are you certain? If it will satisfy your curiosity...
Morrigan: Yes. Yes, I think it is best. - If one more servant asks if I would like a change of clothes I will set the house on fire!
- "I want to you know that.. while I may not always prove.. worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."
- List item 3
Flemyth:- "Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance."
- "They do not want the truth. And I...I am but a shadow, lingering in the sun."
- Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature.
- "Watch out for the moment... and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. For it's only when you fall, you can learn whether you can fly"
Shale:- Shale: Am I to understand correctly that the the Painted Elf is a Crow?
Zevran: Not literally but, yes, I am a Crow.
Shale: As in a bird.
Zevran: Is there another sort?
Shale: So the Painted Elf assaults helpless statuary with its feces?!
Zevran: If given sufficient cause, why not?
Shale: That is outrageous! The Painted Elf will stay away from me! Or else!
Zevran: *sigh* I get a lot of that. - "You see me winning the affections of another golem, do you? Most golems are slaves to whomever holds their control rod."
Zevran replies, ""Funny, it works exactly the same way for us as well." - Shale: It has become very close with the other Grey Warden.
Alistair: Uh...yes, I suppose I have at that.
Shale: I find this difficult to comprehend. It is whiny and weak and constantly laughing.
Alistair: Then I guess a romance between you and I is completely out of the question?
Shale: And the attempts at humor. I cannot understand how it is endured.
Alistair: Well maybe you should ask her why she likes me so much instead of bothering me with it.
Shale: It has a loud mouth. Why its head has not been crushed already is hard to imagine.
Alistair: Or maybe you just happen to figure she likes me a lot more than she likes you.
Shale: Don't be foolish.
Alistair: Yes, I thought so. Just watch your step or I'm totally telling.
Shale: I'm going to stand over here now.
Zevran:- "It is a marvelous bosom." To Wynne.
- Zevran: So is it very strange for you, my friend, living in the world of the tall?
Oghren: Here I thought I was living in the world of the nosy and the stupid.
Zevran: It just occurred to me. Chairs are too high. Tables are out of reach. using the toilet facilities alone must be a lesson in humility.
Oghren: I'm not bloody two feet tall, you swishy tailed nug-licker!
Leliana:- List item
- "I...don't question me! I am a woman, and I reserve the right to be inconsistent!"
Oghren:- Oghren: "Hey, look at me, I'm an elf! Trees are pretty! Tra la la."
- "no one touches Oghren's junk and lives!"
- 'Can I have a pony ?'.
- "Let the Stone run red with the blood of heroes."
- Oghren: Hmmm. So you can turn into animals, aye? Like cats and wolves?
Morrigan: When the desire strikes me.
Oghren: Have you ever... you know. "When in Tevinter..."
Morrigan: That's a most curious little mind you have, dwarf. And what if I had? Would that thought comfort you during your lonely nights?
Oghren: Hmmm. Have you ever changed during--
Morrigan: Why are you suddenly asking me this?
Oghren: How do we know you're truly a woman? Or even human! You could be a chip mouse... or a nug! Ha! Imagine that!
Morrigan: Why, yes. I am actually a nug in human form. I have come to observe your kind.
Oghren: Huh. Nugs are good with extra sauce. I'm just saying. - "As one of the blighters, I sodding salute you. Let's show them our hearts, and then let's show them theirs!"
Sigrun:- Oghren: Why are you so resistant, woman?
Sigrun: I'm not resistant.
Oghren: Really? Great! You, me, the bushes. Let's get those branches a-rustling.
Sigrun: Sure. Just one question, though...
Oghren: Speak your mind, you spicy kumquat.
Sigrun: I'm going to prefer women by the time this is over, right?
Oghren: Ooh, and she hits below the belt. - List item 2
- List item 3
Sten:- Sten: Congratulations! You have gotten us further away from the door then when we started...
Zevran: Have a little faith my Qunari friend, I am a professional assassin!
Sten: I would hate to see an amateur then... - Leliana: I saw what you were doing back there.
Sten: Oh?
Leliana: Don't play innocent with me.
Sten: What are you talking about?
Leliana: You. Playing with that kitten.
Sten: ...There was no kitten.
Leliana: Sten, I saw you. You dangling a piece of twine for it.
Sten: I was helping it train.
Leliana: You're a big softie!
Sten: We will never speak of this again.
Leliana: Softie! - "Either you have an enviable memory, or a pitiable life, to know nothing of regret.”
Varric:- "Well, Shit."
- Son of a b**ch! Sorry mother....
- Of course it's a skull that lights up creepy ****.
- Hawke: How long will it take to reach the surface?
Varric: If we're unlucky, maybe a week
Hawke: and if we're lucky?
Varric: We trip over Bartrand's corpse on the way. - *in the Gallows*
I think that statue over there is a statement on modern life. Possibly the statement is, “Well, ****.” - Sarcastic Hawke: *answers Sebastian*
Varric: "Hawke said sarcastically."
Hawke: "You know I hate when you do that."
Varric: "Hawke muttered in an angry aside to the dwarf." - "Opinions are like testicles. Kick them hard enough, it doesn't matter how many you've got."
- "There's power in stories, though. That's all history is: The best tales. The ones that last. Might as well be mine.”
- Varric: Harding, huh? Ever been to Kirkwall's Hightown?
Harding: I can't say I have. Why?
Varric: You'd be Harding in...oh nevermind.
Cassandra: (disgusted noise).
Anders:- "For three years I have lain awake, every night. Aching for you. I'm still terrified I'll wake up."
- Anders: Say, weren't you a Grey Warden once?
Alistair: That's the rumor. Wait, weren't you?
Anders: That's the rumor. - Awakening Anders: "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal and the right to shoot lightning at fools"
Warden: "I think you're aiming too low"
Awakening Anders: "You're right. I want a harem, a banquet, and to rain fireballs upon every templar in existence" - "I always believed people fall in love with the whole person, not just their body. Why would you shy away from loving someone just because they are like you?"
- "simple is good. It sneaks up on you, makes you smile. Maybe that should be enough once in a while."
- Merrill: But there's not really a fire is there?
Hawke: No Merrill it's a trick.
Merrill: Ohh, That's very clever then.
Isabela- "I like big boats, I cannot lie."
- Isabela saying "And NOW you've peeked my interest" scene in the Pearl
- Isabela: I spy with my little eye, something that is... red. And socially uncomfortable.
Aveline: Ugh.
Isabela: No guesses? It starts with A.
Aveline: Shut up.
Isabela: Ooh, my mistake. It starts with such a B.
Aveline: Time and a place, Isabela. No games when we're this deep in a mess.
Isabela: Fine. Gone from B to a real C, anyway. - Isabela: Well. "Captain." Can I call you captain? You can call me captain.
Aveline: I won't be doing that.
Isabela: Neither will I. Because you're a guard captain. No real authority. Not like on a ship.
Aveline: Well, you would know about having a large number of men under you.
Isabela: You've been waiting to use that one. Did you practice?
Aveline: Shut up. - Isabela: You have such pretty hair. What a lovely color.
Aveline: Other children used to laugh at me for having ginger hair.
Isabela: Really? Aww. I bet you were cute. Did you have pigtails?
Aveline: Sometimes.
Isabela: How precious! Little Aveline, running around the village with her flaming orange pigtails streaming behind her...
Isabela: ... and little boys all scattering and screaming for mercy as she approached.
Aveline: Shut up, wh*re. - Apostate prostitutes. Apostitutes! [infectious laugh]
- Isabela: So, just how good is Donnic? Is he cocksure?
Aveline: [Sighs] Just... get it out of your system.
Isabela: Did he... curl your toes?
Dwarf your beard?
Arl your Eamon?
Shank your Jory?
Praise your Maker?
Grope your grinder?
Establish his cannon?
Kaddis your Katie?
Dampen your Divine?
Pamper your Paragon?
Gray your Warden?
Pudding your peach?
Float your frigate?
Explore your Deep Roads?
How about "satisfy a demand of your Qun?" Or did he Cup your Joining? Or master your taint? That's an old one.
Aveline: Yes, all right? He is an incredibly proficient lover. Happy?
Isabela: Well that's rather personal, don't you think? - "If you put your thumb up his ass, we will know I have won" Isabela to Aveline.
- Aveline: Doesn't that bother you?
Isabela: Why should it? They don't know me. I know me.
Fenris:- Anders: I can't imagine what Hawke sees in you.
Fenris: It is done, leave it be.
Anders: Well good, I always knew she had some sense.
Fenris: Do not make light of this, leaving was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Isabela: Oh will you two get over yourselves, you're like two dogs around a b**ch in heat.
Fenris: We were talking about Hawke, not you.... - List
Aveline:- "...and when someone says 'move on,' you take their hand and say 'my choice.'"
- Isabela: So big girl, how are you enjoying being married?
Aveline: It's wonderful...it's so nice....
Isabela: Flipped arse over ****** and being hammered like a bent nail?
Aveline: LOVED. Though the other thing is awfully nice.
- Warden Carver - "I'm proud to be your brother. That's gone unsaid too long. In war, victory Champion."
- (To Anders): I don't hate you because you're a mage, I hate you because you won't shut up about it.
Leliana:- "Cast your spell. you have as much time as I have arrows."
Dorian:- Blackwall: Corypheus. One of yours, isn't he?
Dorian: One of mine? Like a pet? Like a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood?
Dorian: 'Dorian, why can't you look after your little friends? Corypheus peed on the carpet again!' - Nobody wants to admit when they sh!t the bed.
- Dorian: Varric, are you and Cassandra...?
Varric: What? No! Why would you even think that?
Dorian: Truly? Bizarre.
Cassandra: I'm standing right here!
Dorian: See? She's standing right there! What are you waiting for? - Dorian: Cole, you should be more careful when I'm throwing fire around.
Cole: It won't hurt me. It's friendly fire.
Dorian: that doesn't always mean what you think it means.
- "Losing money can be both relaxing and habit forming. Give it a try."
- Dorian: Ah, Solas. You startled me. You're always so... nondescript.
Solas: Please speak up! I cannot hear you over your outfit!
Cullen:- No one ever listens until its too late.
- "I find myself wondering what will happen after. I would not want to move on but not from you."
- "No. This is Ridiculous."
Cassandra:- "The Inquisitor was a funny Qunari." That's what they'll say one day, you watch.
- "The world needs the truth this time. No more legends lost to the ages" (said when you discuss what happened in the Fade)
- (Disgusted noise.)
Cole- Cole: that's a big knife.
Blackwall: *snicker* its a sword
Cole: It's bigger than mine
Blackwall: now you're just making it awkward - Cole (to Iron Bull): You know, your horns look more like dragon horns.
Iron Bull: Yea. So?
Cole: Well, why didn't you call yourself the Iron Dragon?
Iron Bull: Well, you see... uh.. ****. - Cole: You were just thinking about the time you—
Cassandra: Now I am thinking of something else. Can you guess?
Cole: ...My hat wouldn't fit there. - solas, bright and sad, observes and accepts. spirit self, seeing the soul, solas, but somehow sorrows
Cole: You don't need to envy me, Solas. You can find happiness in your own way.
Solas: I apologize for disturbing you, Cole. I am not a spirit, and sometimes it is hard to remember such simple truths.
Cole: They are not gone so long as you remember them.
Solas: I know.
Cole: But you could let them go.
Solas: I know that as well.
Cole: You didn't do it to be right. You did it to save them.
Inquisitor: Solas, what is Cole talking about?
Solas: A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything.
Cole: You weren't wrong, though.
Solas: Thank you, Cole. - Cole: Why did it only talk facing one way?
Solas: We all have a face we want to show, and a face we we do not.
Vivienne: You should not encourage that thing.
Cole: Solas isn't a thing.
Solas: Well said.
Blackwall:- Sera: So do all Gray Wardens have beards?
Blackwall: Just me. I stole all the beards, and all the power stored within. There can be only one. - "How can ONE Grey Warden help?"--"Save the f***ing world if pressed"
- Blackwall: Don't you understand? I gave the order to kill Lord Callier, his entourage, and I lied to my men about what they were doing!
Blackwall: When it came to light, I ran.
Blackwall: Those men, my men, paid for my treason while I was pretending to be a better man!
Blackwall: This is what I am! A murderer, a traitor.. a monster.
- Cassandra: Andraste's what?
Sera: The Sword-Eye-Hair thing. You know, "Knock-Knock. Inquisition." Andraste's Hairy Eyeball says "What are you doing?"
Cassandra: The EYE is wreathed in fire. The light of the Maker and the flames of Andraste's Sacrifice.
Sera: Oooooooooh. You need better painters. I just figured she was ginger.
Cassandra: She was.
Sera: Well, there you go, then.
Cassandra: (Sighs) No. No there we don't go. - "Shut up! If I start crying I'm going to punch everyone!"
Vivienne:
Iron Bull:- Iron Bull visiting Fallow Mire "This place smells like ass."
- "I will bring myself sexual pleasure later,while thinking about this with great respect"
- Cassandra: So, I take it-
Iron Bull: Actually, he's the one who's been taking it.
Cullen: *snorts* - Bull: Sera, I had a thought. The next time we run into a line of enemies, I'll pick you up and throw you.
Sera: Get off.
Bull: No! This could work ! I loft you over the front rank, and you land behind them to flank ... mayhem ensues.
Sera: I can't fly, you daft ******!
Bull: Think of the mayhem, Sera! Mayhem.
Sera: I'd get a wedge-up something fierce!
Bull: Look, you and Varric are the only ones small enough and he's... pretty dense.
Sera: Well, do some bloody presses! - Iron Bull: Please stop stealing my kills---Sera: That's not a thing; get faster!
- "Hey! Some of us have to swing a giant hunk of metal instead of pulling our girlfriend's trigger from the back ranks!"
- Can I borrow a trebuchet? Crem does a some sewing and makes these nugs with wings and I want to see how far they will fly.
Iron Bull: You know one thing I miss about Par Vollen? Bananas.
Iron Bull: They're bigger. Less squishy. And bendier.
Blackwall: You're talking about the fruit, right?
Blackwall: Please, tell me you're talking about the fruit.
Iron Bull: They're bigger. Less squishy. And bendier.
Blackwall: You're talking about the fruit, right?
Blackwall: Please, tell me you're talking about the fruit.
Iron Bull: Hey, Varric, are you gonna write me into one of your stories?
Varric: How could I not?
Iron Bull: When you do, make sure you describe the masculinity right. Cause this isn't just endurance work -- there was a lot of strength training to get here. You wanna use words like "rippling" or "ripped". "Ripped" is good.
Varric: Hmm... The Iron Bull's belly is prone to rippling after every meal. He rarely wore shirts as they ripped under the strain.
Iron Bull: That hurts, Varric. That's hurtful.
Varric: How could I not?
Iron Bull: When you do, make sure you describe the masculinity right. Cause this isn't just endurance work -- there was a lot of strength training to get here. You wanna use words like "rippling" or "ripped". "Ripped" is good.
Varric: Hmm... The Iron Bull's belly is prone to rippling after every meal. He rarely wore shirts as they ripped under the strain.
Iron Bull: That hurts, Varric. That's hurtful.
Dog:
- <He Barks Happily>
- The Warden: [picks dog as a champion against Loghain]
Arl Eamon: "Ah, Warden.. I'm afraid we can't leave the fate of all Ferelden to your dog. Anyone with a leftover ham could buy his alliance. Choose someone else."
Random NPCs
- Assembly Dwarf 1: "I suggest we put the matter to a vote."
Assembly Dwarf 2: "And I suggest you have a taste of my family's mace!" - Viv: "Preposterous superstition."
Sky Watcher: "Preposterous is what you wore to a bog Orelesian." - Mouse - "The true dangers of the Fade are preconceptions. Misplaced trust. Pride."
- "The craziest thing. Apparently, the pigeon population has taken a nose dive in Ferelden. Weird, huh. What kind of sick individual preys on those innocent things?"
- Corff - "Got any dust? Dwarf dust? I'm 'urtin' 'ere!" - Samson the ex Templar lyrium junkie
- Hespith: "The Stone has punished me, dream-friend. I am dying of something worse than death. Betrayal."
"She became obsessed, that is the word but it is not strong enough. Blessed Stone, there was nothing left in her but the Anvil."
"I was her captain, and I did not stop her. Her lover, and I could not turn her. Forgive her... but no, she cannot be forgiven. Not for what she did. Not for what she has become."
“That's why they hate us... that's why they need us. That's why they take us.... that's why they feed us. But the true abomination... is not that it occurred, but that it was allowed.”