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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2017 21:21:53 GMT
Years and years of inspired work have culminated in creation of the ZinnerZkinner, a perfect chat filter for MMOs. SottoVoice Inc. proudly presents logs from our latest completely closed beta test! The resulting logs are netiquette-compliant, easy to follow and preserve the exact meaning of each participant’s statement without losing any of the emotional impact.
The presentation to follow is quite suitable for work, and (in certain cases) can even substitute for it.
Tested in both PvP and PvE!
With special thanks to our Beta-testers, the Guild ForevarMMOre.
Beta Testers:
Facepalm: A single father of triplets, whose other hobbies include herding cats, following the Middle Eastern politics and separating out a 5,000 piece puzzle from a 3,000 piece puzzle. (role: tank)
Muchomacho: A guy. Is fluent in vulgarisms in sixteen real languages, and all the languages ever invented to have the substitutes for vulgarisms on the prime-time television, i.e. Klingon or German (role: dps)
Oldboy: Been playing games since the Game of the Year was chess. Under no circumstances one should ever mention WoW in his presence, or… see, he’s logged out. (role: anything you want, need or can dream of, all maxed out, always)
Reallycoolgunz: At times will pull an extra crowd of mob and everyone will die. ‘Cause gunz are so cool. (role: dps)
Reallycoolswordz: At times will pull a boss and everyone will die. ‘Cause swords are so cool. (role: dps)
Amnew: I have no idea who that is. Neither does anyone else. (role: what’s a role? Guys?)
Healthbar Three in Column Three (3x3): Muchomacho’s friend from two games ago. (role: offheals)
Healbot: Says he’s a guy with a broken microphone. Reallycoolgunz and swordz doubt it, ‘cause all healers are girls. Muchomacho believes it’s a G.I.R.L. There is a crowdfunding going for a microphone. (role: heals)
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: The best VO in the game. (role: irritating and strangely soothing at the same time)
A/The Boss: Took the saying “size matters” to heart. (role: AoE, AoE and more)
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2017 21:22:26 GMT
Sample Log 1: A Battleground Chronicle
Muchomacho: "My dear friend, I have grave doubts in respect to your mental health providing the unfortunate timing of your incoming call."
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Facepalm: "Muchomacho, Sir, I respectfully draw your attention to the unanimous and negligent disregard given to the previous two calls readily available for your esteemed review on the record."
Oldboy: “I arrived to an unfavorable prognosis and I subscribe to a fundamental belief in preserving my dignity at all costs. Cao!”
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Oldboy has logged out
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Amnew has joined your party
Amnew: “Hail, oh Band of Brothers! It’s my first time on the battlefield!”
Muchomacho: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolswordz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Facepalm: "Comrades in arms! INCREASE YOUR EFFORTS URGENTLY! In the name of reproductive health!"
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Amnew: “Halt, Brethren! You omitted to share the secret and complex strategy that you no doubts devised for this highly fascinating activity prior to the wise fates sending me your way!”
Muchmacho: “What can I say, you are truly a gift!”
Amnew: “Thank you! So what can I do in this corner of the vastly unfamiliar terrain?”
Muchomacho: “I am impressed by your ability to vocalize, oh the ray of sunshine! However I prefer that you contemplatively engage in an alternative form of reproduction with an end-goal to self-perpetuate.”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Muchomacho: “Facepalm, on an unrelated note, I offer observations on your sexual orientation."
Reallycoolswordz: "I strongly dispute Facepalm’s sexual orientation, but peculiarly your remark brought to my mind quite a few assumptions about your family's intimate life."
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Facepalm: “Gentlemen, it is apparent that we are on the verge of acting on the passionate feelings we’ve so rapidly developed for one another in a festive display of fertility rites!”
Reallycoolswordz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: “The Battleground is over. Standby for the denouement. Logging out will result in losing a paltry equivalent of what is known as rewards on the winning side.”
Amnew: “Oh, my, it has concluded! Have I acquired anything that will make my next experience of fighting side by side with you even more exhilarating?”
Muchomacho: “Proceed to a location where you could resume the self-perpetuation, if you would be so kind.”
Muchomacho: "Reallycoolgunz and Reallycoolswordz, let’s critically examine the numbers that are prominently displayed on the screen.”
Reallycoolswordz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolswordz: “I cannot fathom that it had escaped your attention that a virtual absence of medical assistance was a contributing factor on top of the infinitely large number of questionable judgment calls on your part.”
Muchomacho: "FYI, should something untoward happen to all of you in the not so distant future, I shall not be distressed."
Facepalm: “May you test the limits of the anatomical probabilities.”
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2017 21:22:58 GMT
Sample Log 2: That Raid, You Know Which
Day One, Wipe Six
Boss: “Rawr! Rawr! I can do it all day.”
Facepalm: “This fragrance does not bring to mind roses.”
Muchomacho: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolswordz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Healthbar Three in Column Three (3x3): “Long Live reproduction!”
Healbot: I am a martyr.
Facepalm: Columns two, three and five, rows one, three and two respectively! Allowing that you possess brainpower—
Muchomacho: Quite a generous assumption, that. If I may.
Facepalm: Columns two, three and five, rows one, three and two respectively, AND Muchomacho.
Facepalm: Apply yourself to not sticking around to see what transpires when a colorful explosion occurs in your vicinity.
Healbot: I am a martyr.
Healthbar (3x3): “Long Live reproduction!”
Muchomacho: “To follow up on my New Year resolution to take personal interest in my teammates, I’d like to inquire if Faceplam is familiar with actions that result in generating a threat.”
Facepalm: “Watch me. Just watch, please,do not attempt to demonstr—“
Boss: “Rawr! Rawr! You are brightening my existence.”
Muchomacho: “Facepalm, are you up for another friendly discussion of your sexual orientation?”
Oldboy: “I arrived to an unfavorable prognosis and I subscribe to a fundamental belief in preserving my dignity at all costs. Cao!”
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Oldboy has logged out
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Amnew has joined your party
Amnew: “Hail, oh Band of Brothers! It’s my first time in this Grandiose Dungeon of Doom!”
Muchomacho: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolswordz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Healthbar (3x3): “Long Live reproduction!”
Amnew: “I am at this cave entrance, and there is that sharp and shiny… oh. Hang on. I am back at the start.”
Muchomacho: You can self-perpetuate there.
Healbot: I am a martyr.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2017 21:23:32 GMT
Day Two, Wipe Three, Progressing Towards Four
Boss: “Rawr! Rawr! Exceedingly comic!”
Facepalm: “Right here was a glaringly obvious example of why attempting to damage a boss with weapons prior to observing your tank to do so for roughly three seconds is not a successful strategy.”
Muchomacho: “It was my best effort to bring to your attention that tempora fugit. In addition, I lack creativity, so I am going to repeat the Reallycoolswordz’ assumptions about my familial customs, only in relation to your family.”
Reallycoolswordz: “I am glad that this intimate lifestyle choice is gaining in popularity. Maybe your families could organize a workshop together or something.”
Muchomacho: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolswordz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Reallycoolgunz: “Long Live reproduction!”
Healthbar Three in Column Three (3x3): “Long Live reproduction!”
Facepalm: “At least this time we will be finally joined by Amnew….”
Facepalm: “Amnew?”
Amnew: “Wow! I thought I’ve jumped over it just like the rest of you did. Hang on. I am back at the start.”
Muchomacho: “My heart goes out to you. Really. By the way, my deepest heart’s desire is that you self-perpetuate there.”
Healbot: “I am a martyr.”
It’s Probably Still Weekend
Boss: “Rawr! Rawr! The fun never ends!”
Facepalm: “Reallycoolgunz, I believe we have discussed on at least ten previous occasions how it is paramount that you relocate yourself to push the fifth lever on that wall over there, after the Reallycoolswordz has accumulated precisely thirteen stacks of the Meteor of Doom, and the light in the dimmest corner of the hall has changed from a bright yellow to a slightly paler shade of orange. “
Facepalm: “So do help me understand how this simplest of things was not carried out?”
Healthbar Three in Column Three (3x3): “You are a ranged DPS, should be peanuts for you.”
Healthbar Two in Column Five (2x5): “I cast doubts on your ability to survive further, as it is unclear how you can provide for yourself with that sort of brilliance.”
Reallycoolswordz: “Coolgunz just texted me that his dog bit a tail off his cat, when his cat overturned the tank with his gold fish and got caught under it. Anyway, he’ll call me once he is back from the vet and the pet store. Oh! He also needs to maw the lawn.”
Pregnant silence: Let’s pause for a moment to ponder the complexities of that other life.
Facepalm: “Amnew, can you relocate yourself to push the fifth lever on that wall over there, after the Reallycoolswordz---“
Muchomacho: “In the name of the reproductive health, allow me to present a brief yet exhaustive collection of the colloquialisms in sixteen languages. And to conclude it with a complete and up to date opinion on your sexual prowess, past, present and for years to come!”
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Muchomacho has logged out
Boss: “Same time tomorrow, guys? Oh… Rawr, rawr!”
Facepalm: “I guess.”
Healbot: I am a martyr.
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Facepalm has logged out
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Healbot has logged out
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Reallycoolgunz has lo--- oh, long live reproduction….
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Rows one through four, columns one through five has logged out.
Boss: Night-night.
Deceptively Neutral UI Voice: Standby for the denouement. You have gained two garbage points towards nothing special.
Amnew: “Hello?! Band of Brothers? I am at this shiny tombstone with a skeleton? Which way do I go? Where is everyone?”
Amnew: Hello?!
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