Questions you've always wanted to ask men or women

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

Which one is YOUR favourite? I love every single one.

They're all terrific, 🤣 though most of them are not very applicable for me.

But I really liked: 10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
That one, I'm definitely going to do if I happen to get the opportunity.

I also like: 11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
But nope,  I will not be able to pull that one. ...Though I would like to.

I don't have this problem, usually people only take the seat next to me when its absolutely unavoidable and there is absolutely no space left, and when they do they are extra careful. Always happens in public transports, theaters etc. Since I don't smell I must look so repellent, angry and/or terrifying that people avoid me like the plague.

This always makes me a little sad, but then I realize I have lots of personal space and people don't bother me with their body odors.

You got resting Beet face

I thought it may be resting barbell face. 

Like the face I do when lifting very heavy barbells.

Really surprised no one decided to post Rick Astley as their 'favorite love song'. Seems so obvious .

For me, I've moved on from Rick Astley

Love your signature. I don't usually want to kill my companions but with Solas, I'll make an exception.

I just read that too......Wow, I like it way much!  How very "V for Vendetta" of you....."Remember, remember the 5th of November, the gunpowder, treason and plot....."