inherit
813
0
Jun 26, 2019 23:40:38 GMT
5,054
thats1evildude
2,478
August 2016
thats1evildude
Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition
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Post by thats1evildude on May 15, 2019 19:58:21 GMT
Anthem fans, take notice - Electronic Arts just announced they’re rolling out a new revenue model for the game that involves deleting everyone’s characters unless they send the company $300 in the next hour. Yikes! If you’re attached to your Ranger, Colossus, Interceptor, or Storm, looks like now might be a good time to pony up. “Look, the idea here is simple: You send us 300 bucks in the next 60 minutes or else we’ll permanently delete your Javelin,” said EA CEO Andrew Wilson in a statement sent out to all of the game’s users. “Think about that. All your gear, gone. The time you’ve clocked into leveling up your Freelancer in Heart Of Rage, gone. Your weapon stash, gone. Forever. Or you can just play along and send us the goddamn money.” “And no, we’re not fucking around here,” he added. This will definitely be a huge test for Anthem’s player base, which risks losing all the experience they’ve accumulated if they choose to not pay the fee. Many have already spent dozens of hours grinding strongholds for Legendary loot, which could all be for naught if they don’t provide the money. For those users, paying up seems like a no-brainer. “We don’t care how many hours you’ve spent building out your fully kitted-out Ranger—all of that’s going straight down the toilet unless we get three-hundo by the end of the hour,” said Wilson. “You could have crafted more Masterworks than anyone else in the game. We don’t care. Without that sweet cash, they’ll be gone.” “Cough it up, goddamnit,” he added. Since the announcement, many players have reported the presence of a new countdown clock in the game lobby, counting down the seconds they have left to comply with the company’s request.
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inherit
7106
0
4,136
samhain444
1,669
April 2017
samhain444
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by samhain444 on May 15, 2019 21:02:17 GMT
(Slow clap)
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Kelwing
N3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Shattered Steel, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: Necomis
Posts: 473 Likes: 691
inherit
4041
0
691
Kelwing
473
March 2017
kelwing
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Shattered Steel, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Necomis
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Post by Kelwing on May 15, 2019 21:26:59 GMT
Oh Onion, never change
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Mobius Y
N3
The Legend Continues
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem
XBL Gamertag: Mobius Y
PSN: Mobius_Y
Posts: 878 Likes: 2,129
inherit
2936
0
Sept 7, 2022 15:58:11 GMT
2,129
Mobius Y
The Legend Continues
878
January 2017
mobiusy
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem
Mobius Y
Mobius_Y
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Post by Mobius Y on May 15, 2019 21:47:52 GMT
Who comes up with this shit?
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inherit
7836
0
2,286
shinobiwan
1,171
Apr 19, 2017 19:26:11 GMT
April 2017
shinobiwan
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Post by shinobiwan on May 16, 2019 0:25:30 GMT
Inb4 sofa hasn't heard of the onion.
Oh, I'm too late.
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Obadiah
N5
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Anthem
Origin: Obadaya
XBL Gamertag: ObadiahPearce
Posts: 2,677 Likes: 3,624
inherit
658
0
Feb 27, 2024 12:23:57 GMT
3,624
Obadiah
2,677
August 2016
obadiah
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Anthem
Obadaya
ObadiahPearce
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Post by Obadiah on May 16, 2019 4:59:55 GMT
"dozens of hours"?
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inherit
✜ Theorymancer
2627
0
Jan 16, 2020 14:58:38 GMT
2,733
PillarBiter
2,366
January 2017
pillarbiter
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion
PillarBiter
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Post by PillarBiter on May 16, 2019 6:32:34 GMT
Already anchored? Why? Seriously. This shit is hilarious.
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inherit
57
0
1
Apr 25, 2024 16:35:30 GMT
32,676
SofaJockey
Not a jockey. Has a sofa.
13,127
August 2016
sofajockey
SofaJockey
SofaJockey
6000
7164
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Post by SofaJockey on May 16, 2019 11:13:47 GMT
Inb4 sofa hasn't heard of the onion. Oh, I'm too late. I have, which is why it isn't locked. It's not as if the Anthem board is that busy, this thread will be on page one for weeks.
Update, looks like Mark Darrah's getting it in the neck for the spoof article, so I'll take the anchor off as it's topical.
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0
2,286
shinobiwan
1,171
Apr 19, 2017 19:26:11 GMT
April 2017
shinobiwan
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Post by shinobiwan on May 16, 2019 14:52:49 GMT
Inb4 sofa hasn't heard of the onion. Oh, I'm too late. I have, which is why it isn't locked. Lol, okay. Back to Reddit, then.
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0
Apr 26, 2024 22:14:28 GMT
11,980
Pounce de León
Praise the Justicat!
7,910
August 2016
catastrophy
caustic_agent
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Post by Pounce de León on May 16, 2019 17:22:25 GMT
Some may not know what Onion is. I find it pretty clear to be comedic, tho.
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Camel
N3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem
Posts: 257 Likes: 512
inherit
979
0
Aug 14, 2016 15:43:58 GMT
512
Camel
257
Aug 14, 2016 15:41:45 GMT
August 2016
camel
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem
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Post by Camel on May 16, 2019 17:38:27 GMT
Even the Onion hates EA.
“Basically, if you don’t want me to take a sledgehammer to every goddamn server in the Electronic Arts basement, then you will fork over the dough in the next 60 minutes,” said Wilson, adding that he did not care how many paying users he took down in the process. “Don’t think you can worm your way out of this, either. My colleagues over at BioWare are monitoring each payment to make sure every last one of you little shits give us what we deserve.”
“Tick-tock, you poor fucks,” he added.
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cypherj
N4
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Posts: 1,586 Likes: 2,396
inherit
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0
Dec 15, 2021 17:52:40 GMT
2,396
cypherj
1,586
Mar 28, 2017 14:46:05 GMT
March 2017
cypherj
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by cypherj on May 16, 2019 17:39:40 GMT
I love the Onion lol.
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265
0
Apr 26, 2024 22:14:28 GMT
11,980
Pounce de León
Praise the Justicat!
7,910
August 2016
catastrophy
caustic_agent
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Post by Pounce de León on May 16, 2019 17:45:46 GMT
Even the Onion hates EA. “Basically, if you don’t want me to take a sledgehammer to every goddamn server in the Electronic Arts basement, then you will fork over the dough in the next 60 minutes,” said Wilson, adding that he did not care how many paying users he took down in the process. “Don’t think you can worm your way out of this, either. My colleagues over at BioWare are monitoring each payment to make sure every last one of you little shits give us what we deserve.” “Tick-tock, you poor fucks,” he added. I liked the sledgehammer part.
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Camel
N3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem
Posts: 257 Likes: 512
inherit
979
0
Aug 14, 2016 15:43:58 GMT
512
Camel
257
Aug 14, 2016 15:41:45 GMT
August 2016
camel
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem
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Post by Camel on May 16, 2019 17:47:51 GMT
I liked the sledgehammer part. Me too!
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wright1978
N4
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR
Prime Posts: 8,116
Prime Likes: 2073
Posts: 1,632 Likes: 2,469
inherit
1492
0
2,469
wright1978
1,632
Sept 8, 2016 12:06:29 GMT
September 2016
wright1978
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR
8,116
2073
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Post by wright1978 on May 16, 2019 18:18:29 GMT
Hmm .. I dislike anthem and hope it gets sacrificed. However that onion piece doesn’t strike me as particularly funny tbh.
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Sondergaard
N3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR
Posts: 572 Likes: 975
inherit
1505
0
975
Sondergaard
572
Sept 8, 2016 21:17:59 GMT
September 2016
sondergaard
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR
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Post by Sondergaard on May 16, 2019 19:16:00 GMT
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inherit
2044
0
Nov 10, 2016 16:47:07 GMT
10,091
AnDromedary
4,378
Nov 10, 2016 16:30:09 GMT
November 2016
andromedary
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Post by AnDromedary on May 17, 2019 16:08:18 GMT
Update, looks like Mark Darrah's getting it in the neck for the spoof article, so I'll take the anchor off as it's topical. Haha, there had to that one guy who doesn't get it.
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inherit
8885
0
7,210
river82
4,946
July 2017
river82
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Post by river82 on May 17, 2019 21:35:44 GMT
Update, looks like Mark Darrah's getting it in the neck for the spoof article, so I'll take the anchor off as it's topical. Haha, there had to that one guy who doesn't get it. It always happens with Onion articles xD
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inherit
9105
0
Aug 11, 2017 18:04:01 GMT
8,817
slimgrin727
I don't stir, I work the material.
3,636
Jul 28, 2017 17:05:24 GMT
July 2017
slimgrin727
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Post by slimgrin727 on May 17, 2019 23:54:27 GMT
I love that the Onion is dipping into game culture.
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