Post by Jeremiah12LGeek on Jun 9, 2021 16:43:19 GMT
No, I'm not drunk. I was drunk yesterday, but that's not technically relevant.
You see, we have ourselves a census year in Canada, so my roommate had to fill out the census because he voted in the last election (that's how they get you.) I could mention that he has a bizarre sense of humour, but the more relevant fact is that he was drunk when he filled it out. I was also drunk, but in a different location, entirely unaware of what he was doing.
What you're probably asking yourself (if you haven't come to your senses and stopped reading by now) is "What does that have to do with you being transgender?" when what you should be asking is "Why is 'Jedi' an officially recognized religion on the Canadian census?"
If blanks still need to be filled in, the drunken obnoxious individual (I mean the one that wasn't me) decided to fill in that I was transgender and a Jedi.
Obviously, this has altered my political beliefs tremendously, and I now declare the following:
- All words containing the letters "man" will be replaced by the letters "woman." It has been declared, and so shall it be womandated.
- I shall now be referred to as "Jeremina the Twelfth Level Geek." No, I will not bother actually changing it across the various forums and platforms I frequent, that would take work and I'm lazy.
- An unavoidable womanifestation of my newfound femaleness is that I will immediately have my salary reduced by 17.5%. I think we can all agree that's for the best.
- There are womany requirements to being a Jedi. Apparently (and this came as a shock to me) I'm now required to like "The Prequels." It's like the bible for Christians, but with much worse writing. This is definitely the hardest part of the transition.
- As to my rowomantic side, I will now revel in the newfound playground that is lesbian chat rooms. I suspect they won't be as enthusiastic as I am about qualifying for membership.
- My dreams of being an officer in U.S. Army* are now officially dead.
- My dreams of being an officer in the Imperial Galactic Navy are now officially dead. And that sucks because I really liked the uniforms.
- Thanks to changing times, I can continue to enjoy video games, womanga, and comics uninterrupted. Animé, however, has been rewomanded to the "problematic bin." Why? Too much tentacle porn.
- Finally, when a thread dewomands that you use as womany words with the letters "m-a-n" in it as you can, it's hard not to womangle the english language to make it fit thejoke I mean totally serious thread. But still, I like it enough to put it on the womantle by the fireplace for posterity. I'm definitey adawomant about that part.
*Technically no longer true as of January 2021. Happy, herstory nerds? I acknowledged that my joke was anachronistic.
You see, we have ourselves a census year in Canada, so my roommate had to fill out the census because he voted in the last election (that's how they get you.) I could mention that he has a bizarre sense of humour, but the more relevant fact is that he was drunk when he filled it out. I was also drunk, but in a different location, entirely unaware of what he was doing.
What you're probably asking yourself (if you haven't come to your senses and stopped reading by now) is "What does that have to do with you being transgender?" when what you should be asking is "Why is 'Jedi' an officially recognized religion on the Canadian census?"
If blanks still need to be filled in, the drunken obnoxious individual (I mean the one that wasn't me) decided to fill in that I was transgender and a Jedi.
Obviously, this has altered my political beliefs tremendously, and I now declare the following:
- All words containing the letters "man" will be replaced by the letters "woman." It has been declared, and so shall it be womandated.
- I shall now be referred to as "Jeremina the Twelfth Level Geek." No, I will not bother actually changing it across the various forums and platforms I frequent, that would take work and I'm lazy.
- An unavoidable womanifestation of my newfound femaleness is that I will immediately have my salary reduced by 17.5%. I think we can all agree that's for the best.
- There are womany requirements to being a Jedi. Apparently (and this came as a shock to me) I'm now required to like "The Prequels." It's like the bible for Christians, but with much worse writing. This is definitely the hardest part of the transition.
- As to my rowomantic side, I will now revel in the newfound playground that is lesbian chat rooms. I suspect they won't be as enthusiastic as I am about qualifying for membership.
- My dreams of being an officer in U.S. Army* are now officially dead.
- My dreams of being an officer in the Imperial Galactic Navy are now officially dead. And that sucks because I really liked the uniforms.
- Thanks to changing times, I can continue to enjoy video games, womanga, and comics uninterrupted. Animé, however, has been rewomanded to the "problematic bin." Why? Too much tentacle porn.
- Finally, when a thread dewomands that you use as womany words with the letters "m-a-n" in it as you can, it's hard not to womangle the english language to make it fit the
*Technically no longer true as of January 2021. Happy, herstory nerds? I acknowledged that my joke was anachronistic.
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