Does your Dalish Inquisitor want to go back to the clan or transition into a city elf?

I see them hanging out with their LI and that wouldn't be excepted in dalish elf clans as your LI is either not an elf, and elf who hates elves that are too elfy, or solas who leaves you so I guess you could go back if you had no romance or have a a genocidal lover leave you. Still I think the inquistor when exposed to everything wouldn't be able to go back again as they are changed.

Snickered at "Solas ruining all retirement plans"

Well, it's been awhile since I've played Trespasser, so I might be misremembering some details, but don't members of Clan Lavellan end up on the city council of Wycome? Idk if that means the Dalish have fully integrated into the city or if they've just... set up camp outside the city walls, sent ambassadors to be on the council, and otherwise keep to themselves but for trading with the people of Wycome.

Either way, my Dalish Inquisitor is overjoyed to return to her Clan after being surrounded by Andrastians and resisting assimilation for 2-3 yrs. She married Sera, and I like to imagine my Inky taking Sera to meet the Clan, and she's kind of nervous about how it will go but she's also really excited to see her family and friends again, and Sera just brushes it off and acts like she doesn't care to hide the fact that she's nervous too, but she thinks it's kind of adorable how happy her wife is to see her Clan again, but is also nervous that she'd choose Clan Lavellan over Sera if Sera is rejected. And then, when they finally return, Sera is shocked and a little embarrassed when the Clan welcomes her with open arms. That's my happy-ending-headcanon, anyway. Maybe they keep in touch with Clan Lavellan and establish contact with the Wycome branch of Red Jennies and like, incorporate the Jennies into their search for Solas somehow. (My Inky disbands the Inquisition.)

First run, I messed up the War Table mission so my clan were massacred. She was romancing Solas and he left her. So by Trespasser she was an emotional wreck. Whatever she does is going to depend on what happens to Solas as she is still pathetically devoted to him, although she won't let him destroy the world. She would never happily be a city elf though, not unless circumstances drastically changed and since she got Cassandra as Divine, that is unlikely to happen. She may have a privileged life due to her previous position but at the end of the day she is still an elf and a mage, so unlikely to be accepted by ordinary people. Really she has nowhere she can really call home.

Second run, my male Lavellen did the War Table mission right so his clan is helping run Wycome, the party capital of Thedas, so likely much more easy going than the majority of cities. He is a rogue and Leliana is an Inspired Divine, so everything is favourable.  They have the backing of the Viscount of Kirkwall as well. I imagine that his clan will gradually integrate with the city elves, with each learning from the other, which is what the codex in DAO said the Dalish hoped would be the case in the future. His position within the clan is complicated by the fact that he is gay and romancing Dorian but they have been able to accept that he is not your typical Tevinter Magister and with Lavellan's encouragement Dorian has freed all his slaves (which is now official according to Tevinter Nights). Even so, this Lavellan is still a Dalish at heart. He was a hunter for the clan and values their traditions of survival. So far as he is concerned, it doesn't matter what their ancestors were; the Dalish have their own traditions based on what they value and his vallaslin are a reflection of that. Their meaning has changed from the mark of slaves to the mark of the "elves who would not submit", which is ironic but something he can be proud of. When he went to the Arlathvhen he took with him all the elven items he had amassed during his time with the Inquisition for distribution among the clans. He warned them about Solas and that he should not be trusted, just as they have always maintained about Fen'Harel. He prays that they will heed his warning and not be beguiled by the old trickster. In addition to maintaining the search for Solas, he continues to work to improve the lot of elves across Thedas, using the influence he gained as Inquisitor.

Please note his attitude and that of his clan towards city elves is a reflection of what we were told in DAO, not like that of the Keeper in Masked Empire. They are not lost to the Dalish but rather the Dalish keep their customs and traditions preserved so that one day all elves will benefit. Also, they believe that if they ever have a homeland again, the city elves may have something to teach of their own as to how to interact with humans peacefully, although judging by the city elf experience in game, I'm not sure how much the city elves will be able to help with that.  It is true of Wycome, though, so it is something they can build on from the example there.

I imagine they would ask for proof.

Yeah sometimes I forge twh oneeds t odo what in orde rfor the Clan t osurvive so in a lot of my playthrough's the clan does end up dead. They're still alive in my current one though but I haven't finished that quest chain yet.

I think... my Lavellan wanted to go home to her clan, and would never in her life identify as a "city elf", but her experiences wielding the levers of power in Thedas ended up convincing her that her efforts with the other Inquisition members could ultimately do more to serve and protect the world, and her own people by extension.

And that as such, abandoning those unique opportunities to change civilization from the inside simply because Clan life would feel more natural and comfortable to her would in fact ultimately be shirking her duty to that same clan. Because her happiness and feeling like she is where she belongs isn't as important as protecting them and making the world a better and safer place for them to travel through.

She romanced Solas, but even if she'd fallen in love someone else, or Solas hadn't wussed out and made his own plans, there still wouldn't have been any thoughts of retirement. Dalish don't "settle down". She was raised and trained from the manifestation of the first spark of her magic to be the First to her Keeper, and someday a Keeper herself, and that's a lifelong prospect. It's her purpose. What she was born and bred to do. Even if she isn't with them, there's still no excuse not to spend every waking day of her life serving The People to whatever extent she can. To her mind, if she didn't do that, she might as well not exist.

None of the above. She hooks up with her hubby Iron Bull and is working with the his merc group, putting holes in fools. 😋

Since helping Solas wasn't an option mine would go back to the Dalish and lead them to elven glory herself.