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gay mess <3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
PSN: coratiel
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Post by spacetime on Apr 24, 2017 14:18:02 GMT
I have my first first date this week. I know, I can't believe it either. (I know 21's a bit late to start dating, but I didn't come out until I was almost 20. Also, I'm super shy and my version of flirting is staring at my shoes and smiling stupidly.) She asked me out to coffee, so it's just a nice, casual date, but I'm still nervous as hell. What do I wear? Are nice jeans and a t-shirt too casual? Is a dress shirt too formal? What do I talk about? (I know she loves BioWare, so at least we have that in common.) Do I offer to pay for her, or is that insulting? What is coffee date etiquette?
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Post by BamBam the Destroyer on Apr 24, 2017 15:51:58 GMT
Don't ask for sex right away.
Oh. This is sort of thing is not my area.
Uh... be chill, maintain conversation, don't try to push the envelope, etc.?
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∯ Interjector in Chief
Staff Mini-Profile Theme: Heimdall
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: HeimdallX
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Post by Heimdall on Apr 24, 2017 16:04:59 GMT
T-shirt and jeans are probably fine for meeting for coffee.
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spacetime
N2
gay mess <3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
PSN: coratiel
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Post by spacetime on Apr 24, 2017 19:40:21 GMT
Don't ask for sex right away.
Oh. This is sort of thing is not my area. Uh... be chill, maintain conversation, don't try to push the envelope, etc.? I wasn't planning on it. Cool, I can be chill. I think. T-shirt and jeans are probably fine for meeting for coffee. Thanks!
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Post by cheeseandonion on Apr 24, 2017 19:42:26 GMT
Just bee yourself
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Post by mybudgee on Apr 24, 2017 20:18:06 GMT
^ Yep. Remember two hard truths about dating/relationships; - It truly doesn't make that much of a difference what you do or wear or say. Most attraction is determined within a few seconds of meeting someone, just be yourself & let them be comfortable enough to do the same - All romantic relationships that last a significant amount of time inevitably end in horrible pain. So... if you get blown off or stood up, think of it as dodging a bullet
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Post by DomeWing333 on Apr 24, 2017 22:16:37 GMT
I think the rule is that the person who asks is the one obligated to offer payment for the date. (Otherwise, it's like 'Hey, want to pay for my next meal?')
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Post by Galactic Runner on Apr 25, 2017 2:05:17 GMT
...unless you can be Batman. For real, though, do what you can to have a good time with her.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2017 3:29:36 GMT
In terms of conversation, you said she likes Bioware games so you could ask things related to bioware games and ask her if she plays any other games. Considering that ME:A just came out, you could talk about that and ask what she thinks of it if she played it.
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Post by Serza on Apr 25, 2017 8:34:02 GMT
First. And this is from my experience... you might feel adrenaline. Even to the point of shaking slightly. Chill out.
Second. Don't worry about age. I'm a year older than you still haven't started myself.
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Post by Arijon van Goyen on Apr 25, 2017 8:47:27 GMT
My 5 tips: 1) Being good looking, healthy and strong 2) Not being annoying / having a big taste in art, movies, video games 3) Having at least average income 4) Sounding/Being smart and wise 5) Being truthful, loyal and not being famous of cheating, fraud, lying, harassment etc.
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Post by RakiaTime on Apr 25, 2017 9:34:18 GMT
Oh god, Arian giving dating advice, this will end well
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Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
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Post by Beerfish on Apr 25, 2017 16:55:30 GMT
She asked you out, she pays. Talk BioWare as that is low hanging fruit. If things are going well, extend the date a bit by suggesting to go for a short walk after the coffee is done. Be 100% honest after the date to let the person know whether you want to go out again. As a matter of fact if you like them, suggest you get together again and this time you will pay.
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gay mess <3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
PSN: coratiel
Posts: 82 Likes: 238
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Post by spacetime on Apr 25, 2017 20:12:03 GMT
I can do that! I'm not sure how to be anyone else. ^ Yep. Remember two hard truths about dating/relationships; - It truly doesn't make that much of a difference what you do or wear or say. Most attraction is determined within a few seconds of meeting someone, just be yourself & let them be comfortable enough to do the same - All romantic relationships that last a significant amount of time inevitably end in horrible pain. So... if you get blown off or stood up, think of it as dodging a bullet Thanks. I think. ...unless you can be Batman. For real, though, do what you can to have a good time with her. Thanks! (Definitely.)
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spacetime
N2
gay mess <3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
PSN: coratiel
Posts: 82 Likes: 238
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Post by spacetime on Apr 25, 2017 20:25:55 GMT
In terms of conversation, you said she likes Bioware games so you could ask things related to bioware games and ask her if she plays any other games. Considering that ME:A just came out, you could talk about that and ask what she thinks of it if she played it. Thanks! We've been texting back and forth a lot since she asked me out. I really like talking to her, and I think I'm getting a hang of this whole conversation thing. My 5 tips: 1) Being good looking, healthy and strong 2) Not being annoying / having a big taste in art, movies, video games 3) Having at least average income 4) Sounding/Being smart and wise 5) Being truthful, loyal and not being famous of cheating, fraud, lying, harassment etc. Well, 1 and 3 are out. I'm average looking, and disabled. (I did tell her that I'm unwell because my schedule's at the mercy of my health, and sometimes I need to cancel things last minute. She didn't mind.) I'm also a student, so that should give you a hint as to my level of wealth. As for art, movies, and games, those are some of the topics we've discussed most. So I'm going to go with theloneshadow with that one. I can do honesty and sounding smart.
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gay mess <3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
PSN: coratiel
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Post by spacetime on Apr 25, 2017 20:36:23 GMT
First. And this is from my experience... you might feel adrenaline. Even to the point of shaking slightly. Chill out. Second. Don't worry about age. I'm a year older than you still haven't started myself. I probably will. And thank you! Good luck finding someone, if you're looking.
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Post by Melra on Apr 25, 2017 20:51:16 GMT
I don't really do dating, I prefer getting into relationships with people I already know quite well, so might not be the best person to comment. But being yourself, even though bit cliche, is quite important if you are looking for something more long term/serious. Will spare you from unnecessary heartaches and drama in cases where you end up giving people wrong impression of yourself. Just do your best to try and find a way to be comfortable and see if you can get yourself relaxed. Whether by watching/listening to something that makes you feel good, though at the same time it's good to remember that nervousness isn't as easy to spot as one always thinks. I just put this in a spoiler, cause I am not sure if it's bit too much for a first date. I have never really dated nor ever plan to, so it's up to others to point it out.
What I've found personally is that it's nice to be around people who have some sort of plans for future, as long as they don't sound like things that the person you are talking to would be excluded from. Plans related to some sort of "adventure/self improvement". I don't necessarily mean in regards to exercise or something like that. However desire to gain new experiences, more knowledge and maybe learn a new language/skill. Might not apply to most people, but I find it something nice myself. Also such things can serve as really nice for bonding with another person.
It tends to show that the person isn't just content sitting around, but actually wants to live their life. If you know something about the person and think they might be interested in an activity like that. It could be good to bring up.
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Post by mybudgee on Apr 26, 2017 6:36:56 GMT
One more tip: Try not to be naive
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spacetime
N2
gay mess <3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
PSN: coratiel
Posts: 82 Likes: 238
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Post by spacetime on Apr 26, 2017 23:31:04 GMT
Thanks for the advice! It went fantastically! She was amazing and we've already planned like 5 more dates. I also had a lot of fun.
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spacetime
N2
gay mess <3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Mass Effect Andromeda
PSN: coratiel
Posts: 82 Likes: 238
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Post by spacetime on Apr 26, 2017 23:32:53 GMT
One more tip: Try not to be naive Considering I ended the date with a polite handshake, it's safe to say that I'm not even remotely thinking of that. Also, I don't think I believe you.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2017 3:31:57 GMT
Okay! Sorry I didn't give any advice I didn't see the thread but my advice may not be any good. I'm so happy it went well!
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Post by Serza on Apr 27, 2017 8:47:32 GMT
Congratulations...
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Post by Doctor Fumbles on Apr 27, 2017 14:14:43 GMT
I am 28 years old, and I still have not dated anyone. 21 is nothing.
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Post by Serza on Apr 27, 2017 14:47:34 GMT
Hey, apparently it's the clever people who don't start dating early.
I can sympathize.
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