Canadian Delicacy - The Kaidan Alenko Thread

Miranda's story clearly stated in both 2 and 3 that she was genetically altered to appear as a "perfect woman" and the fact that her father imposed this on her made it even more pervasive. Yet, none of this was explored deeply despite her character's obviously being in conflict with her own body and that because of this generic ambiguity buried under science lingo, players doesn't seem to caught the significance of why Miranda hated her own father over the creation of Oriana. And you choose to ignore her significance to BroShep, especially the fact that she looked like a conventional sexualized woman instead of a handsome masculine man like Kaidan. Intersex was already being unrepresented as it is and Miranda's gender ambiguity was only implied in scientific jargons and she could never be officially acknowledged without causing offense to the entire fandom.

And since we've gone again to assuming that I don't know what it felt like being unrepresented and unaccepted, I am an agnostic muslim woman in a conservative misogynistic society that would jail me for saying that aloud in public. The only other NPC in Mass Effect series that I felt closely identified to was Khalisah Al-Jilani but because she's just a reporter and not a romance option (like Diana Allers and Keri T'Vessa), most Mass Effect players would rather punch her in the face... because being an opinionated and sexually unavailable woman who ask hard questions simply made a bunch of people uncomfortable enough to physically assault her and brag about how empowered they feel after doing it. Every time I read justifications against Khalisah always told me enough of what would happen to me. I'm also a romantic asexual woman who, as a 14 years old girl, was sexually assaulted by a group of young men... which could end up worse if they're armed or if I wasn't already trained in self-defense.

With FemShep, even if I gave her very tragic story that gave her trouble with intimacy, I could refuse sex scene with Kaidan and he'll be fine with it and Shepard could still be in an asexual intimate relationship and the game won't punish me for it... they've already punished both for forcing a separation for most of the trilogy. But in creative writing perspective, I am critical with the way ME3's Kaidan's bisexuality was portrayed because there's really no content that his bisexuality was ever portrayed meaningfully even to FemShep players.

While I empathize with the rage and about you seeing it as a personal attack especially to your sexual orientation, but I never quite agree with the justification for the creation of mods that enable every character you want to be playersexual simply because you felt entitled to it. Make all gay characters available for straight players, make straight characters available for gay players. 

Why was it so easy to dismiss a person's agency and preferences regardless of consent....? Will a mod change my own childhood trauma or make me willing to commit to a physical relationship despite my inability to feel sexually to anyone?

My life is still restricted to a lot of things that I can't freely express myself or risk exposure to my personal being and my safety which is why I appreciate internet anonymity. I'm just grateful that I survive adulthood and surrounded by the people I love. I also don't expect a video game to cater the idea of me for the sake of it. I'm here because I appreciate a good story and well-written character, which Kaidan is throughout the entire trilogy. I love him because I like that he made me and made my Shepard genuinely feel safer whenever he was around.  

Maybe its not the same as being a gay man in a western society that was still dealing with homophobia but neither was my situation any better. I'm not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me, but we all have our own ways to deal with the shit in life.

I didn't even interpret it as Kaidan discovering his sexuality late. I just figure he didn't say anything to MaleShep because non-heterosexual men all learn very early that the possibility of a man returning their interest is much lower than a woman returning their interest. Kaidan just had to wait longer to get a sign of MaleShep's interest than with FemShep, and that sign came with circumstances that would have made any talk of romance far more awkward than usual. He pretty much says if FemShep rejects him in favor of Liara that he doesn't want to make an ass of himself by hitting on a lesbian, so it stands to reason that Kaidan doesn't want to make an ass of himself by hitting on a straight guy.

Thinking someone is straight because he prefers women over men like I said it's called heteronormativity which is thinking that straight is the default instead of thinking if this guy can like men too, even if he never spoke about it. like I said this is a trope that Bioware has overused in every bi men, and of course this is in benefits of straight players (which underestimates straight people, seriously homophobes are noisy but I think they are not majority, but yeah I read too many comments of dudebros scared because Anders or Kaidan hit on them or straight biphobes ladies thinking that Kaidan or Jaal are not worthy anymore because they like dongs, how many times I read dudebros killing Zevran or Kaidan for this reason), it's a nasty way of working that I hope Bioware has learnt to avoid for future games. But again, if your preference for women is 99% and preference for men is 1% you are still bisexual, words like bicurious or heteroflexible are terms hurtful for bi people, I'm not saying you are thinking this, dont get me wrong, but these terms are ofter related to this heteronormative way of thinking. 

We only know about Kaidan that he prefers women (like every Bioware bi men) and he was in love IIRC with Rahna when he was in BAaT. Nothing less, nothing more.

And this is rather subjective, but the subtext between Shepard and Kaidan? that losing you is like losing a limb line among other things, the subtext is sooo real for many of us.

I've never thought about this in this way, I like it.

Well, my headcanon on Shepard's end is that he wrongly interpreted the mention of Rahna as evidence of Kaidan being straight, and he didn't want to make things awkward with someone under his direct command.

You do realize that bisexual men are attracted to women, right?

No problem 

I totally understand how you feel about Kaidan being a brother, the same happens to me with Liara, and I'll be damned how many times I've been hit on by her but I just love her and her friendship path is special to me, but I understand the ones who dont like her just for that. Bioware should be more careful in the future, and even though we have the heart system to flirt sometimes they mess things up, like Peebee being the most recent example. I hope they learn from their mistakes! 

Monogendered means that they have one gender and that gender is female, the codex explain this better than me XD but yeah they are all-female alien species, think of Asari like Namekians from Dragon Ball an all-male/masculine alien species.

here


And you're welcome!

Kaidan is such an amazing guy

Have a dance with Kaidan

It takes a while to be available.  If I recall I finish the quest for the girl who works here (her sister in the other bar) and maybe I had to leave the citadel and then return?  I'll try to look into this weekend if I remember!

Though currently playing DAI, I ran across this and had to post it.

Oooh, I remember you back from the old Kaidan thread! Welcome to our lovely new home!

I romanced Kaidan with 3 Shepards so far, one MShep - my first run, as soon as I saw I can romance Kaidan I wanted to do it because Kaidan is awesome. I broke up with both Liara and Miri for this First run = crashtest.
The second was another MShep, but way more serious for the buildup, where I didn't romance anyone before Kaidan. My third was my FemShep who fell hard for Kaidan in ME1, saved him because of her feelings for him, but dropped him in ME3 because she actually never wanted to be so close to someone like that ever again (it was complicated... She was a colonist and never let anyone close in fear of losing them). That went well because she fell for James in the end

So yeah, I never romanced him throughout the trilogy, but I already planned that run. Will play it soooooon.