ME3 MP Limericks

There once was an Asari named Dari, who loved to dine on calamari.

At the last food joint, they were confused by the point, and fried up her hair kinda scary.

there was once a drelldept named Cobain
who proved he could cause a lot of pain
and as he heaved
and as he reaved
In the end he just missed the train.

I once met a man from Rannoch,
Who tossed and turned in his hammock.

I said dude Chill Out with a whistle,
He stared at me with eyes like missiles, and said,

Where the fuck is my Arc Pistol?

In front of the screen I sit
I've made it to "This is it"

Someone with a childish voice
Says Shepard must make a choice

Why, I don't give a sh!t



A bot like you've never seen
Takes me were I've never been

Pilot seat made out of leather
EDI and I together

Hope Shepard chooses the green



My Geth Trooper stood on a ramp
Waiting for a Banshee to camp

A Phantom came strolling along
Singing her silversword song

And carving herself a new lamp



Ever since Eden Prime
I've stayed loyal the entire time

When I lost all my old gang
When my new crew wanted to bang

Abandoning Ash is a crime



Jacob had nothing to say
And Thane just wanted to pray

Found comfort with Verner
Though he's not a fast learner

At night, all cats are gray



If you want you're e-peen score
You'll nuke everything like a whore

Reegar and Jugg
Is the way of the PUG

In the lobby, I'll show you the door

A Krogan, in typical style,
Head-butted his foes for a while;
Then he switched-up the pace
With some Claymore-to-face
And let loose with a fuck-you-all smile.

A charming (but naughty) Asari
Liked Ryncol mixed in her Tupari.
With Krogan she'd dance
Oft misplacing her pants
But, come morning time, never seemed sorry.

A Salarian, well-hung and proud,
Didn't mind standing out from his crowd.
He laughed, "Why should I beg
To jerk off on an egg,
When my girth makes the Earth girls so loud?"

A Justicar bold and curvaceous
trod on Krogan tails quite malicious.
The oldest once grimmed
with a swish she was slimmed.
Blue merfish was served - How delicious!

Wondering why this always happens to me
and these pugs just won't let me be.
Here I am on my own again
soloing Collectors, wave ten.
I hope now the host is not downloading porn...
of course he is, now I want too some popcorn.
I'm teleporting all over the place, is this some kind of gag?
because it is known, you can't fight lag.

I'm not drunk enough to consider Batarians sexy,
my cup of tea are those who have flexi.
I'm sure deep down in our hearts we all want to rehear
"Aaaaaaaaand we're done here".
Crutching still goes on, how many Primes were there? I counted four...
At least I have you, Adrenaline Rush and Claymoar.
This will take a while. Be seeing you all in the Milky Way
but wait -there's a Phantom! We'll bang, ok?

All amorous Geth become pains
If their vigour should ebb: they're the banes
Of many a lover
Dismayed to discover
One charging his probe at their mains.

Poor Niftu Cal mistook biotic
Powers for just the narcotic
Red Sand's effect
When he failed to connect
His thinking with being psychotic.