Javelin pilot comforts

'Man, I could go for a really nice, really hot cup of tea right now" one young trainee says as he leans over to the person on his left.

 The Drill Sergeant, an older veteran officer overheard that comment and stopped his presentation.  "Tea is for the weak!" he shouts.  "Here in the Jungle, where every living thing that crawls, flies or squats in the mud wants to kill you-- here we drink coffee.  Wake up juice.   And the best taverns in the Fort will serve nothing else but something called Irish Whiskey, and another odd concoction called "Canadian Beer" made from a type of grain called barley and hops.  But should beast or man confront you in the jungle, he now becomes your enemy.  An enemy deserves no mercy.  Is that understood?"

"YES Drill Sergeant!" shouts a chorus of Javelin Pilot recruits training to be Freelancers.

"Now, in order to survive out there in such a harsh world, where everything wants to kill you and nothing wants to be your friend, you must have the right mindset.  Keeping vigilant at all times will save your life.  But there are some basic rules of survival:   1) Stay in your Javelin at all times.  Do not get out of your Javelin for any reason when out in the field.  Exiting your Javelin anywhere other than the safety of these walls means certain death.  2)  Everything wants to kill you.  From the 50-ton mammoth beast we call the Ursix to the towering terror that will haunt your dreams which we have learned is called an Ancient Ash Titan, for your own safety, assume that everything beyond the safety of Fort Tarsis wants nothing more than to see you dead.  Rule numer 3)  Should you find yourself surrounded by any type of enemy force, be it the traitorous, repulsive Scars or any of the wildlife that is native to Bastion...Do not hesitate to empty an entire clip from your main gun into those scum.  And when you find yourself out of ammo because you just emptied an entire compliment of magazines into even one Scar, do not forget that your Javelin has an Ultimate ability that is designed to unleash hell."

"Sir," a female recruit raised her hand in question. I've also found myself wondering how Javelins are powered. Electric? Fission? Cold fusion?  What is the basis of our technology?"

"Well the Science Pukes will tell you that our technology is powered by the relics of something called The Anthem of Creation or its relics that were left behind after the last Cataclysm.  But we have several prototype Javelins that are powered by liquid.  And we have discovered that the best of these is coffee.  Imagine that.  Coffee.  The same thing that we drink with our grub to wake us up in the morning has also been found to possess amazing reactionary characteristics when poured into the servo-motors of even our strongest of Javelins, the Colossus.  A coffee-powered Colossus in combination with a coffee-fueled Pilot is one helluva dangerous combination."

A young male trainee cautious raised his hand, "Uh, Sir?"

"Yes Recruit?  What is it?  Your interrupting my speech.  Again."

"What about Grabbits?  They look so cute, almost cuddley and they're so harmless. Studies have shown that they're herbivores.  Non aggressive.  All they do is hop around and make cutre little squeaking shounds.  Makes you really wanna---"

" Harmless!  Cute and Cuddly?!" shouted the Drill Sergeant.  "Son, even Grabbits can be ravenous packs of furry terror.  Have you ever seen what a swarm of two million rampaging Grabbits can do to a Colossus?"