Is ePeen Gross? Well, It Used To Be.

I was on a mission with 3 guys who flung their ePeens around the forums like they were doing caber tosses. Each one of them has actually posted on the first page of the forums this week.

Steve, the pilot of the shuttle, noticed and was captivated by all the ePeen stroking and comparing and failed to notice the massive ocean we flew straight into. We were stranded out in the middle of an alien ocean, treading water as we watched our last hope, the emergency beacon, sink towards the bottom.

Neither of us alone could dive deep enough, let alone carry such a heavy piece of equipment. Then, for the first time in our careers, it happened... teamwork. We made a long bridge of ePeen that connected from the surface to the bottom of the alien ocean (with length to spare, mind you), and we easily retrieved the beacon. Exhilarated by this combined ePeen achievement, we finally felt hopeful and focused. We knew we could achieve anything!

Our next issue, we needed to get to dry land to plant the beacon. At the exact same instant, without words, we all devised the same idea, to build a raft out of our massive ePeens (to be honest, it was more like a yacht). We tied our ePeens together securely (there was barely enough rope) and fashioned the beacon aboard on the top deck. Although our ePeens touched, it wasn't gay, because none of us closed our eyes during. Not that there's anything wrong with gay. Some of my best friends are gay. Anyway, it was beautifully ePeen-fueled brotherly teamwork.

We made it to land within hours and were rescued by day's end, all thanks to the joint actions of massive ePeen.
I used to think other ePeens were gross. Now, I openly embrace ePeen (keeping eyes open), for I know the power each holds. With great power, comes great responsibility. With great responsibility, comes great discipline. With great discipline, comes great authority. With great authority, comes a badge and a uniform. Chicks dig uniforms. Simple math, friends. Simple math.