A Farewell to Arms

I've never read the homonymous book by Hemingway. However, as of it lately, the title can be used to aptly describe my current situation.

You see... I've sold my Playstation 3. Together with all of my games. One of them just happened to be Mass Effect 3.

No, I will not be purchasing another copy for PC, no matter how cheap it may be. Selling it in the first place was precisely because I wanted to play other games than ME3MP.

So yeah, I'm basically permanently retired from here on. I... honestly don't know how to feel about that.

According the my N7HQ profile, I've sinked 1275 hours, 14 minutes and 48 seconds into this game, not counting approximately 500 more spent on single player. I've played 3195 games and elevated myself into the top one percent of players, N7(#8756) and challenge points(#604) wise. That's... impressive, I guess? Probably has more to do with the fact that there are precious few players left playing this game on PS3, but I choose to be kind on myself, for once So I'm going to assume I was at least a moderately competent player.

On one hand, the game was a source of constant stress for me. From phantoms of Cerberus, to hard freezes caused by Collectors and finishing with entire geth faction(those fucking cheating toasters...), I think nobody can deny this game had its (un)fair share of problems. I mean, when the Reapers are the fairest and easiest faction in the entire game, you know something went sideways.

But then again, it would be wrong to judge it on that alone. Despite everything mentioned, I also had more than its fair share of fun with the game. From my time with female human infiltrator with Mantis on bronze(I believe I carried my first match a couple of times with her, weird as that may sound now), to my latest escapades with Claymore voluses, we've all come a long way. When I started, much of the characters weren't even in the game, if memory serves.

So I wanted to finish my inglorious career defending the galaxy on a special note. After all, what has made this game so special?

One might say it was the great maps. Whether be the classics we've visited and defended as Shepard and company, or the new additions, which were, let us admit it, sometimes buggy, but offered the glimpse into the rest of the galaxy, you would be right... at least partially.

Was it the large roster of weapons and the fact that you could finally slap the heaviest shotgun and heaviest sniper rifle onto your adept(unwise as that may be) and send them into battle? Close, but no cigar here either.

Ability to play with friends? Nooooooo... not quite.

Everything mentioned was great, of course. But for me, the real fun part were the characters. Whether be the aliens or the humans, each of them was, in one word, great. Some better than others, sure, but each and every one was viable to play and have fun with. Combined with everything already mentioned, it just made the game so much fun to play.

So, without further ado... I want to write a love letter to my characters. As you'll see, in case of some of them, it will be more of an acceptance letter(or few lines anyway), but I'll try to make it good, because I believe they deserve it.

So strap in, get some popcorn and coke and hopefully have fun. I'll be doing these in no particular order, but you can safely assume the character that comes in later on the list was more beloved by me. And conversely, the ones at the very start were... not exactly hated, but certainly not liked as well. In some cases, not even deployed.

I’ll be doing this in order of class and then going with kits in the class.

With that in mind, let us start. And we’ll do so with soldiers:

Vorcha soldier  my man, you never even got deployed. In my mind, you were just a poor excuse for your sentinel brother.

Nordur  ah, the suit rat. In my mind, you were a just poor excuse for a turian soldier. Sure, you could dodge, but you lacked style and manly voice that, in and off itself could wet panties. Honestly, I think I mistreated you… you deserved more love than you got from me.

Toasty  the regular geth soldier. Sure, you left smoldering ashes in your wake… you were, mildy put, very effective. But you were also, oh so much boring. I blame it on myself, for only using you to fill Flamer challenge every now and then. I went the dark way(aka, a PUG way). But still… you were honestly quite lackluster, efficacy notwithstanding.

Jelcin  the wannabe be vanguard. Unlike Toasty, you were actually fun! But… you were not turian. Turians have grace and lack of mobility and despite that, they get the job done. You did as well, but you betrayed your race core principles. And for that, I shunned you more than you probably deserved.

Toasty  the bigger and less mobile geth soldier. I could blame the name on lack of imagination of geth consensus, so…. Yeah, let’s do that! Quite surprisingly, with Crusader in your metal claws, lack of large shield and adrenaline module, you turned out to be surprisingly fun to play. I was as much surprised as anybody else.

Hank  you passed N7 training. It got into your head and you thought yourself to be so much more than you ever were. You were supposed to be a racist/speciest, never helping any non-human. That never manifested, because I didn’t want to be as much of an ahole as I imagined you are. But yeah, I really liked the mighty glacier trope you were manifesting. Just a shame I was never good at putting it to good use.

Geronimo  our one and only krogan. You smelt so much of cheese, but I loved you dearly. I also put a shame on your name, since I mostly used you to pitch grenades and shot with Raider. I put an effort in to claim at least ten melee kills per game, but I did put a shame to every krogan in the galaxy with my pyak ways.

Grok Tak  you scumbag, you were everything you were imagined to be. You were a credit to your race, in that you reveled in your cheesy ways and I never felt bad for taking you out for a spin. You were a scum and you acted like one and never felt bad because of it. I kinda respected that.

Mr Freeze  despite your name, you were never a villain. You just put the cryo ammo to some good use. You were fun, if not very effective. I never blamed you for it… I blamed my own incompetency. And the fact that, despite the incompetence, you were still fun to play with counted for a lot. You showed the galaxy that, despite the lack of any xeno attribute, a regular human can still do a lot.

Leila  the gender counterpart to Mr Freeze, you were a more direct soldier, wielding a big gun and taking shit from no one. Claymore in hand and more grenades than you could count, you went pretty much all out on offense and did good with it. You were lovely, sexy and deadly and I loved you dearly because of those attributes.

Tough Guy  nobody was quite sure if your name was supposed to be bad-ass or self derogatory. Honestly, you came around like you wanted to be an engineer, but failed to achieve the necessary SAT score. We always got many Tech Bursts and Fire Explosions from you, but you lacked some adrenaline usually displayed in soldiers. Despite that, you performed admirably and always did great job and had fun with it and you were much loved because of it.

Tarnok Gevenna  my dear fatso… you may have been fat, but… you performed above all expectations. You showed us that dodge is for the weaklings and that offense is the best defense. I didn’t do you honor, I am sorry for that. And despite the garish colors of your armor, the enemy never saw you coming. Maybe that has something to do with the fact you blew their heads off from miles away. No matter the weapon, you exceled with it. You almost made me like Hornet, for fucks sake. And watching you walk around with geth spitfire for three round without ever reloading it never got old. And you showed that your whippersnapper havoc how things are done the turian way! You were, in one word… fuckingawesome!

Next up, the sneaky boys and girls. Ladies and gents, give it up for our infiltrators!

First thing we notice is a distinct lack of male human infiltrator. Poor guy that never even got deployed. Next up, we have Medvedov, the turian “ghost”. Many accused him of lack of imagination, what with always choosing his trusty Carrier, but nobody could find blame with his staying power. Though he never quite understood why so many of his fellows called…. “scorewhore”. Most peculiar, really.

Next up, the alliance infiltration unit, SHODAN. Her name gave everybody a pause, but she mostly turned out okay. Nobody ever saw her deployed much, but maybe she was just that good at her infiltrating business?

The N7 graduate, Shadow, going by name of Silence… seriously? Oh well, be that as it may, you were another gal that I never really got the hang of it. It was always fun beheading phantoms with you and you get bonus flair points, but really, you were kinda boring, which, once again, I blame myself for.

Jane, Jane, Jane… our human female infiltrator. Well, at least you got deployed, unlike your male counterpart You had the dubious honor of starting me down this path and you did pretty well, actually. A proxy for my first Shepard. You have a special place in my heart for that, but as I found out other kits and classes, you kinda fell by the wayside.

Gyern and Lin, walking together. The male and female quarian infiltrators, respectively. The first one was crazily overpowered and, much to my surprise, also crazy fun to play. I never really played you much, but it was always a hoot when I did And Lin… you were played even less then Gyern, but were even more amusing to play with. You demanded the level of professionalism that I could never quite muster, but I liked you. You deserved better than I gave… both of you.

Ah, Unit 42, my second favourite geth! Much like in Adams’ famous book, you were an answer to… well, pretty much everything! Be it with your trusty Javelin, Claymore or hell, even fucking GSMS… you made than peashooter sing glorious songs! You were powerful, but you demanded a measure of skill and I think I *almost* gave it to you. Sadly, I was too scrubby to ever go melee way with you, but you were a fist tier weapon platform. You were a credit to your race, which says a lot, after the bullshit they pulled on me.

Sneakster, my drell buddy. I guess I liked you as much as I did because of your crazy effectiveness. And maybe… just maybe, because it allowed me to troll other players with your recon mines. And the innate speed boost. And the snazzy trenchcoat… ok yeah, you were pretty awesome. But you really should have used something other than Black Widow every now and then.

The lovely Lamaya, our huntress. You started with a Predator pistol, but once you were introduced to the Raider, there was no turning back. You were the first to master the ancient art of reload cancelling and it was by you that other troops eventually mastered it as well. After that, there was no stopping you. You loved Claymore, even if it meant you got more romantic advances from krogan, which made you slightly uncomfortable. Hell, you were one of two people to ever really got good with Javelin. You’re pretty sure that love message from geth collective was actually from Unit 42 and yeah, that was fucking weird… but also kinda flattering? Above all, you loved Widow. Your weapon of choice and you made many a widow with it.

And last, but most certainly not least… Jenkins, our salarian. Buddy, I’m actually somewhat perplexed why I liked you as much as I did. You were exceptional at your job, for sure, but so were many others. Maybe it was your polka dot gettup, so at odds with infiltrator philosophy. Maybe the fact you were one of the few infiltrators without grenades, but did job better than many others with grenades. Maybe… I don’t know, really. I just know you were my favourite infiltrator.

We’re moving on to vanguards.

Once again, missing is the male human vanguard. I guess I just never found use for you, what with having your exact same copy, just with, you know… boobies Speaking of which…

Neomi, you tried playing with big boys and girls, by using Claymore. God help you, you just couldn’t pull it off. That’s why you switched to next best thing, aka, Talon. And you exceled with it. And you were having fun with it and by extension, I did as well. Charge/Nova or vice versa combo was always fun. Fuck Shockwave, that’s for them adept pussies.

Serina, the only female turian. I know I will catch some flak for this, so I won’t say you sucked, no matter how much I want to. I *will* say I sucked at playing with you(that’s what she said!). But yeah… you were the only turian I never finished a mastery for. That says a lot.

The Little Engine. You could, but you never did, unless you wielded the Dark Lord. Another shame to the krogan race, but yeah… I tried using Graal with you, but I just couldn’t get the held of the rhythm. I sucked with you and, by extension, you sucked.

Tony, our N7 graduate. Maybe I should have played you more, maybe I should go melee way sometimes… you were certainly effective and sometimes fun, but, like so many other N7s, you were just kinda… pale to me.

Ruk’Tak, another of the clan of scum You were the only one I felt comfortable using Dark Lord with, since it’s, you know… scummy thing to do. And you were *almost* as effective as TGI or AIU at staying alive, with only a portion of cheese therein. I liked you.

Cannon Ball, though ye be of small stature, you were great in deeds. Many were tales of you equipping the batarian gloves and going to town, nut punching. Truly, you were the bane of of Cerberus troopers and even though you often ended as shishkebob on the end of phantom sword, it never got old!

Drellguard, my drell buddy… I think I was drunk when I was naming you. Be that as it may, playing with you always felt like playing pinball, only you were the ball and you were always in control. Crazy as I was, I gave you Claymore from beginning and never looked back, it just fit seamlessly together. You were the one character with whom I always felt like I had those cheating toasters under control. But yeah, with Adrenaline Module III, Claymore and Grenade Capacity V, you were a force of nature.

Logan, the Cerberus defector. Why did you even started with them? For thinking the Alliance wasn’t doing enough? That seems to be a popular reason. Or maybe you were just a little xenophobic? In the end, I guess it doesn’t really matter. I know that when you found out that you are to become a Dragoon and that that would include a mind scrubbing you fled. That was something you couldn’t put up with. In the process, somebody you cherished wasn’t as lucky as you… they got indoctrinated. You managed to got away, but it left a mark on your psyche. And it manifested in quite a disturbing way… whenever on battlefield, you were to be reckoned with. You always charged the enemy head on, flailing them whips, shouting like a man possessed. You were praised for you courage by your superiors, but also slightly feared by your comrades in arms. Did anybody knew the real reason for your bravado? Did anybody suspect that, behind it all, it was a death wish, the inability to forgive yourself? That you were collecting the scars as mementos, in a way to punish yourself for failing to protect those you loved? You were always so angry, always pushing others away, literally charging to troubles, even as you charged away from them. If only you could open yourself to others, maybe you wouldn’t have met an end in the dark corners of galaxy, feared by most.

Vishyna D’Nar, our resident asari. You, dear girl, had a ballsack bigger than any krogan. You liked your liquor hard, your guns big and your asari young. After old, the older they got, the more likely they were to call bullshit on your war stories. You were also something of a black sheep in your family… you were considered a bad influence on Solaya, you were considered a barbarian by your huntress sister and your justicar sister, well… she loved you, no doubt about that, but damn, the old girl really needed to pull that stick out of her ass. You got along well with Regina though… maybe the inherent darkness present in her pulled you two together. Birds of feather and all that. You always were the unruly one… you always got the job done, but damn if you didn’t put a strain on your handlers. More than use mission control went positively insane when trying to tell you what to do. To this day, you rigging the last device on FB Giant with lift grenade, thereby blowing it up(together with a veritable army of husks and cannibals) and then telling the guy on the other end of the wire that you, and I quote, coming for him… well, the story is still remembered with mirth. And of course, nobody could ever found a blame with your ass

We can’t forget about our tech guys and gals. After all, who would keep up the net for all our porn needs, so we could keep in touch during this war!

Once again, total lack of vanilla engineers, where males are deployed. I’m sensing a pattern here…

Robin, the supposed badass Talon engineer. I played exactly two *waves* with you, then I gave you up. Supposedly, you were powerful. To me, you were a gimmick and not an entertaining one.

Gorbachov, the armiger legion engineer. I… didn’t really liked you. I finished your challenge once and got two extra waves in, but you were the second least used turian. To me, you were just a quarian female engineer, with the distinct lack of ass.
Shorty, another volus in our roster. Surprisingly enough, I liked you, at least with Wraith or Arc. You were more support oriented, but I didn’t mind that with you.

Tanya, the flashier of the two sisters, a N7 graduate. Of all of them, you were the second most favourite of mine. Having all of them grenades to toss around probably had something to do with that. But flashy as you may have been, you kinda lacked… substance? I don’t know, we just didn’t click like we did with your older sister. But, Regina liked you, so I guess some of that rubbed off on me.

Bosh’tet and Tali, the quarian duo. I… liked both of you, really. The female more that the male, even if the latter was objectively more powerful than the former. But also… less interesting. I took the male out for a power trip, when I wanted to lay back and feel powerful without too much effort and I took Tali out when I wanted for some honest fun. So yeah, both were fun and a shoutout to our resident quarian fan… I never would have tried here if you haven’t showed me how much fun she was. As always, good ass and Claymore in hands go hand in hand with that.

Kermit, the last and favourite vorcha. Guess you liked like a muppet to me… in that, “deranged, what the hell is wrong with you?” way. While objectively the least powerful of all the vorcha, you were also the most fun to play with. I guess playing like pug, rocketing everything, meeleing the everloving shit out of phantoms, dragoons and other targets that you usually want to keep away from can make that happen. You were the picture perfect of unoptimised build… Grall with omni bayonet slapped on, but no melee evolutions. But, I could always depend on you to make me feel better. You usually ended dead or left behind and despite that, you always found your way to the next battle. Some people suggested you’re like roach, in that you’re incapable of being stopped, but I think it would be fairer to say roaches were like you

Wrench, once again, last but by far, my favourite geth. Maybe it had something doing with me finding that video of somebody playing you with Mantis(to a backdrop of Magicka, from Two Steps from hell… that’s an epic music right there), but I wanted to try it. And sure, it’s not the most powerful combination, but I *loved* it! Went with it for the longest time and eventually switched to GPR, because you know… role friendly. Sometimes geth SMG, sometimes geth shotgun, but that rifle and you became inseparable. I honestly don’t know why I liked you as much as I did, I suspect it had something to do with your backstory that’s still swirling around in my head. I may have to tell it someday. But yeah… I loved you dearly.

Snookums, the not-so-friendly salarian. Once again, a perfect example of showing that “basic” doesn’t have to mean “boring”. And you never were, though I somewhat chock that one to the fact that you kept switching between weapons faster than a krogan. Sure, you usually came back to your trusty Adas, but you would go with Claymore, Raider, Mantis, Arc and god knows what else. Hell, sometimes, for the fun of it, you would go in with Avenger/Predator combo, just for the sake of good old times. And it was always fun trolling geth with your Decoy. Who could forget that time on Noveria, where you had to hold entire base against the toaster for almost an hour, alone… twice! There is something to be said about birocracy and you none of it is good, as far as you were concerned. But yeah, I didn’t used you as much as I probably should, but with you, it was always a good time.

And last… Sonya, my regular female human engineer. There was nothing flashy about you, other than that Wraith of yours you got for faithful service. You were just one of many soldiers in the war. The war took your family away. Some of them in more literal way… you haven’t heard from your husband and children ever since Reapers landed on Earth and you fear the worst. You’ll never give up, that’s not the soldiers way. But on the evenings, when the din of the machines and regular everday life(if such can even be said to exist anymore) dies down, you may allow yourself a morbid thought… and an extra round of something strong. Nobody could judge because of it and really, nobody does… other than yourself. And then there is a small matter of your younger sister. Even before she went for the whole N7 training she was a wild one. And things only exarcerbated afterwards. Those other N7s are a bad influence on her and then… there’s that asari she met during her travels over the galaxy. They are so unlike each other and maybe, just maybe… opposites attract, after all. And you’re really afraid you’re going to lose her, as you’ve lost the rest of your family. But none of that matters. After all, a soldier has a duty to do.

Next up, we have some, ahem… very *adept* folk to introduce!

*crickets*

Anyways!

You’ve guessed it, the male vanilla adept is missing, big surprise right there!

Nuktuk, our short volus friend. I’ve seen the amount of carnage you can cause in capable hands. Sadly, my hands aren’t capable by a longshot. Therefore, I mostly ignored you. I’ll be the first to admit, you deserved better.

Adelaide, the furious one. One more from the N7 program and much like the rest of your friends, I didn’t care for you… like, at all. Though, admittedly, that had at least something to do with the fact that you felt like an unholy abomination of huntress and Valkyrie. I liked both of them, but I loathed you. Big part of that probably had to do with the fact that I never knew how to play you properly, but yeah… you were, by a longshot, the most despised N7.

Vengeance, our prothean/Collector friend from cycles passed. I liked you, I really did. The only reason I put you so high/low is the fact that everybody who comes after/before you, I liked even more. You were something of an odd one out and I had a trouble catching your rhytm. But you were awesome, no arguing there.

Samara, the justicar. No relation! You were awesome and pretty much the only one who reguraly used that Acolyte peashooter. It just clicked with you. You were one of the few characters who was never afraid of phantoms because of it. Old girl, you were awesome(I know, I said that already, but it bears repeating), but there were so many other adepts I liked more.

Smash, the spiritual center of the team. Which, given your krogan heritage is at least partly weird. After you got a hold of Wraith and abused incidieary glitch you became one of my favourite adepts. Mix that with the fact you were at least partly adept(hurhur!) in melee and it was a winning combination. Even if it did leave you smelling like a week old gouda after marinating a week in the sun…

Genevie, the oh so vanilla female human. Other than the fact that you carried(and masterfully used, I might add) a gun that was probably heavier than you were… the High Lord! Consequatinally, your power evolutions left something to be desired, but damn… what you lacked in biotic explosions, you more than made up in raw fire power. In fact, you were almost as awesome as you asari counterpart, and knowing me, that’s a high praise indeed.

Frogemoth, the last drell. You were a mean, grenade chucking, biotic explosion causing machine. You were one of the few characters that made phantoms tremble. Probably had something to do with the fact that Graal was your weapon of choice. Those cheating bitches never stood a chance before you.

Bomby, second to last of scum clan. Come to think of it, you weren’t scummy at all. You used the High Lord and never (ab)used the incendiary glitch. And despite that, you never lacked in effectiveness. Adrenaline module III, combined with Grenade Capacity V made sure of that. It was a scrub way to go, but certainly effective.

Herod, our second Cerberus defector. I would like to think you were less suicidal than Logan. Maybe you were the one friend/lover(haven’t decided yet) that Logan thought he lost… and never found out how wrong he was. Be that as it may, you were at least partial yin to Logan’s yang. You were happy to work with aliens, you preferred small weapons to big ones(though you did love that Wraith) and you preffered casting from afar, rather than brute force approach. You were a picture perfect of an adept, though you did like to flaunt your muscles with them whips… after all, there were some pretty ladies to impress. Frankly, I’ll never quite know why you signed up with Cerberus… you were much to likeable to sign up with them arholes!

Solaya T’Soni. No relation, though I admit it was intended that way. Too much fanfiction reading, silly past me! Be that as it may… I loved the whole adept bunch, but amongst them, you stood head and shoulders above them all. Why? Yeah, your ass played a part in that, as usual. But, it was the least part! Mostly, it had to do with the fact that you could put on any gun and excel with it. You did it with Claymore, Raider(those two were your favourite), Mantis, Widow, Arc or anything in between. You had none of them flashy powers and yet, whenever you showed up, you dominated the scene. Even though you rarely (ab)used the incendiary glitch. No matter the faction you went against, you availed yourself. I would say you were epithome of Practical, But Boring trope, but there’s one big caveat in there… you were never boring, but lordy, were you ever practical. I would profess my everlasting love to you(and I did, at first), before I got aquainted with your sentinel sister. But you were and always will remain my favourite adept.

And, at last, we get to the sentinels. As a whole, they were nothing to really special, but I guess I’ve always been a sucker for jack-of-all-trades archetype. And while the class as a whole was nothing to write home about, there were some very special kits in there indeed.

And as usual… wait, what’s that? We actually deployed human male sentinel?!? And failed to deploy the female one… well, first time for everything, I guess.

As for Iron Man, the aforementioned male… might as well never have deployed you, to be honest. I did it on a spur and when I figured you were just a downgraded asari adept I quickly tossed you aside. It’s not a totally fair assumption, but it’s fair enough, as far as I’m concerned.

Volly, the last of volus clan. Yeah… you sucked. I mean, it would be more fair I sucked at utilizing you properly, but c’mon man… two pets and a shield boost? I find this skillset… lackluster, to put it politically correctly.

Angry Walrus, the krogan warlord. Honestly, another kit that I probably failed to put to good use, but a big lug like yourself… I mean, the hammer gig was cute, but got stale pretty fast. Being fairly competent at melee was good, but then again, you smaller cousin was better at it and that’s… weird.

Grrakk, the last vorcha in my employment. And yeah, you were powerful, but kinda one trick pony. You performed that trick *extremely* well, sure, but it got boring quickly. Perhaps, much like with Kermit, I should be more puggish with you, but water under the bridge and all that.

Fugly, the batarian. I actually feel a little sorry that I didn’t use you more. The few times I did try you, we never clicked and then, a little before giving my console away, I tried playing with you again, on advice of MPApr2012. And it was… good. Fun. Lots of fun, in fact. In fact, pretty much every scum character turned out to be fun, which came as an honest surprise for me. So yeah, sorry man, maybe next time 

MeSmash, the smaller krogan, but what you lacked in centimeters, you more than made up for where fun was concerned. You were pretty much my only melee specialized character… I think Grunt Kitterhand is to be blamed for that? But yeah, it’s something I can easily forgive him Lots of fun was had with you, whether backhanding geth troopers across the desolate plains of mother Tuchanka, or headbutting dragoons in Cerberus research facilities. You forgone everything for more melee output, hell, you were one of the few characters who never used geth scanner or grenade capacity, forgoing them for hydraulic joints, just so you could squeeze more oomph out of your fists/forehead. In one word, you were a riot and good times were had!

Jack. Jack, my man… you were the only N7 for whom I can truly say I liked you dearly. Something of it was probably the fact you has the sexiest voice ever! And yeah, you were kinda overpowered, that certainly didn’t hurt. But it was always so much fun playing with your shield, boinking phantoms and dragoons, setting up all different kinds of tech combos… you were a gift that kept giving and if even a scrub like me could play you well, well… that certainly didn’t hurt. And maybe it was the fact that they called you paladin, which a class near and dear to me(as far as DnD goes), but I imagined you as a total antithesis to Hank… you were honorable, protective and all around likeable fella. Maybe you could lay off them cigars… they may make your voice the sexy beast it is, but they are really bad for you.

Vornak. My very, very… very favourite turian. It may have something to do with the fact that you were a part of the starting roster. Or the fact that I got Crusader as my starting gift and you were the lucky SoB that got paired with it first(very much dumb luck on my part). Or, maybe even, the fact that I watched so many matches our very favourite turian lady played with you and I wanted to give it a shot. And certainly, any of those would have counted. But… there was more. You were, simply put… most reliable of every character. You had two universal detonators, you had Tech Armor(extra stylish points right there), you had fat turian passives… the only thing you were missing was a dodge and even that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It simply forced me to git gud. You were one of those characters that could, quite literally, fit into any team, with any composition. If there was ever a James Bond in our team, you were him. I have no elaborate backstory for you and I am sorry for that… you deserved it more than possibly any other character. But… you didn’t need it. Your proves was enough, your charm more so. You were fat, but ever so nimble. You were basic, but you demanded more mastery to be effective that many so called high tier characters. You were exquisite and one of few characters who I never got tired of. There are 1200 registered waves, but the truth is, there were probably at least five times as many in reality. I just always cared more about having fun with you. And I honestly can’t think of a higher praise than that.

And finally, the winner. I made no secret how much I loved her. In fact, most of you probably had a hint of who would win. But let us make it official.

Regina, the one and only… asari Valkyrie sentinel. Truth be told, I never would have guessed it when I unlocked you, but you slowly but surely became my dream. I have no idea what was behind it. I guess, we just… clicked. Once again, your fine booty certainly played a part in it, but it was by far the smallest part. I think the biggest mistake I made was trying to play you like an adept, with smaller weapons. You, my dear girl… you were born for big guns. Be it Claymore, whom you’ve given a shot(heheh), or Raider… goddess dammit, that Raider! That was when the love developed… between you two and, consequentially, between us. You were a little scummy that way… there were even rumors of your batarian parentage. You never gave two licks about it. But your demenour certainly did… you loved that batarian shotgun, you loved meleeing your enemies and you battle cries carried a hint of bloodlust. And yet… you carried darkness beneath it all. Something you were deeply ashamed of. Most asari live a millennia, at the very least. You… you will be happy to see half of that, Reaper war notwhitstanding. That mix of defensive/offensive field you project about yourself… it’s slowly but surely draining your very life force away. And with the constant need for your skills, it seems it will kill you sooner rather than latter. But… it is a duty of good sentinel to keep watch, no mater the cost. And you will do so, even if it keeps you forever from your human lover, for whom you’ve developed a great fondness. After all, she was almost as explosive as you. Be that as it may, you will always remain my favourite… be that for a simple effectiveness you always displayed or for brutal efficiency you never lacked… it doesn’t matter. You were, in my opinion, the one character who never failed, no matter which one of the three areas I chose to focus on… melee, casting or weapons. You were a pinnacle of efficiency. But more than that, you were fun to play and you were… more than awesome. Way, way more. You were the closest approximation of the goddess. And you and your memory will always remain with you.

So with all that in mind…

No matter what anybody else may say… the war is over and it was won. All you weary soldiers, you’ve earned your rest. What will you do now… who will take you? Where will you go?

Does it really matter? Most of you will be considered loons, crazies, or worse, with your war stories. But we will know better.

And no matter what, we held the line.

I was proud to call myself Council Operative. Even though I had a legal basis to consider myself the Best of Best… I never was one. But yeah, I was very much an operative of the Council. And a Nomad.

The year and the decade are coming to an end, and so in my involment in this game. I was proud to serve alongside all of you, but now I need to find greener pastures.

Do not weep for me. If you can, be happy we found each other.

And continue the good fight.