Unconfirmed Rumours About DA4

All the sex scenes are just home video footage of Weekes slapping their own face with two hotdogs.

In a bid for better sales, Bioware will reintroduce Pirates but also add Ninja and Cowboys to their new iteration of the Dragon Age franchise. Unfortunately, any mention of Pirates gave EA hives and so they were dropped, the Cowboys were nixed by the fanbase as being counter to an established bit of lore published in an unpublished game note twelve years before and the ninja? ... Hey, where did the ninja go?!

(Sorry, my brain is in a strange place now. All wait and no DA4 make catcher something something)

Duncan returns from the dead

The nug king is the big bad evil and Solas is his puppet.

Fen'Halla, the Salos to Fen'Harel's Solas 

We will get our first look at a qunari child. The child's name will be Golden Calf.

In DA4, Salos' plan to tear down the Veil shall result in all the world's records and libraries being burned down.

Our next Hero shall enter the world of the past mysteries and conflicting interpretations of history, the world based on the legit, dev confirmed cannon.

It all happened when the frenzied Darkspawn horde broke out of the Korcari Wilds and invaded Ferelden.

As they did so, the army rudely tipped over a cauldron where the Witch of the Wilds was brewing her elixir of youth. Flemeth was very grumpy and sent her apprentice Morrigan to save some of the Grey Wardens from battle to be a constant thorn in Archdemon' side as the punishment.

The Grey Wardens and their allies went to Orzamar to seek aid against Darkspawn. This is when they met Shale, the ruler of dwarves who sent them on a quest to capture every clucking chicken in the Deep Roads.

In the Deep Roads, they encountered a pub, The Wacky Hammer, where Paragon Oghren was using the golems as free labour. Oghren let Wardens know that Gruelling Broodmother pub next door was his direct competition and held the last of the chickens captive.

Grey Wardens took Gruelling Broodmother out of business and captured all the chickens. As they did so, the chickens looked at their capturers with the saddest nug eyes. It was a heart breaking decision to either let the remaining chickens live and invoke the wrath of Shale or to eliminate all chickens of Orzamar forever.

Although they've lost the support of the dwarves army, Paragon Oghren agreed to head to the surface with his army of golems since the business underground was bad. Only an occasional Grey Warden or two, and some of the Legion of the Dead folks came by. Somehow the rest of the customers always ended up dead before getting to his legendary pub. And Oghren approved of letting the chickens go.

What happened to the Wardens and their quest to defeat the horde?

To Be Continued

You forgot the boobs on everything. Everyone has giant boobs. Especially the deep mushrooms.