Any musicians, recording artists, or anything of that kind on these forums?

I Hate Kale

Hahaha, OK you're sticking to your guns here.

'I hate kale / those who eat it should go to jail'

'On the eighth day The Devil created Kale / what was he thinking? What an utter tool'

I'm definitely getting the distinct impression that kale and you are not precisely best buddies and even the sense that you'd prefer not to eat the stuff.

Ever tried ramen? I hear it's a delicacy.

A song that makes me laugh is a good song, irrespective if production, DAWS, paws or Santa Claus.

Now as you made clear your production is minimal, we've got some strummed chords and a basic drum backing, it's a minimalist kind of affair - what I'd have called low production garage music back in the 90s if Billy Zane had not stolen my line in Dead Calm.

Yeah, yeah if you had a zillion dollars worth of kit, a pro studio, and some seriously leet productions skillz you could have done it better with more stereo panning, beefier drums etc. But honestly I'm happy with how it is.

You mentioned buying a drum machine earlier.

I'd personally say that drum machines are almost obsolete for 'bedroom producers', because you get far more control, not to mention bang for your buck, using software applications, particularly apps that make use of VSTi technology, which allow you to hand-craft your drum tracks, loop them, double track them, enhance individual drums with effects and all that good stuff.

I personally swear by Fruity Loops Studio, I've yet to find anything better for making drum tracks, with the exception of an actual drum kit. In conjunction with this (and if I want to play freehand) I use a VST called Native Instruments Battery, coupled with a pretty cheap Alesis Perc Pad that I hook up through the midi interface, though it's not necessary if you only want to programme your drums like a drum machine.

Synth bass tracks in Fruity Studio (or indeed most DAWS) are created by either using the piano roll, or step sequencer, depending upon how complex you want to make the thing. The Piano roll is literally as it sounds, you're presented with a grid, each space on the grid represents a note on the 'piano', and each click on that grid create a note that can be played back, so to make your bass or keyboard run or whatever you're just selecting the notes you want it to play back, which can all be elongated, sustained, truncated etc. Once done, it's placed into your main sequencer where you can pimp it up with whatever studio effects you wish to use, and then loop it, double it, extend it or whatever you wish.

Anyhow, enough waffle, good luck, and thanks for the enjoyable listen.