What did you do today in ME?

Got it right the first time. If you've got the Paragon/Renegade points to do it, I love being able to entirely avoid the actual charges and point out their hypocrisy and decision to draw Tali into a political battle.

True enough, but Xen really had no interest in the trial or its outcome.  She thought the whole thing was pointless and stupid.  She probably deleted the local files and made copies for herself (like Maelon's data).

Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...


Kasumi: Okay, we need to find out where the scientists went.

Barbie: Ooh! Buttons! (presses buttons on terminal, volcano starts to erupt)

Kasumi: Dammit Shep!

Barbie: It's not my fault!

Grunt: I will fight the volcano!

Kasumi: We have to get out of here!

Grunt: Hmph! Weakling!

Barbie: Yeah, you're such a killjoy, Kasumi!

* * *

Barbie: Are you Zaeed Massani?

Zaeed: Yeah, that's me.

Barbie: I wasn't talking to you. (to the Batarian) Are you Zaeed Massani?

* * *

Barbie: (staring at Prothean sphere) So pretty...

Miranda: Don't touch it!

Barbie: (touching it) It's okay, I've done this before!

The Prothean Sphere sends out an energy wave, then shrinks and falls down.

Barbie: I'M HAVING ANOTHER VISION!! (pause) No I'm not, false alarm. (picks up sphere) I can use this as a bowling ball! Maybe I can set up some pins in the cargo bay.

* * *

Barbie: Who are you?

Gavorn: I'm captain Gavorn.

Barbie: We know your tricks! We leave!

Gavorn: What?

Barbie: No more talk! We know your tricks! We leave! (leaves)

Gavorn: What the hell was that?

* * *

Cafka: Well, I've got to get the gunship back to 100% before Tarak decides he needs her again.

Barbie: Oh let me help! (electrocudes Cafka)

Jacob: Nice.

Barbie: It was an accident, I swear!

* * *

Barbie: Archangel?

Garrus: (Taking off helmet) Thanks for help, I really appreciate-- oh spirits no! NO!!! Anyone but you!!!

Barbie: Hey, you look just Garrus! He's a Turian I used to know!

Garrus: (weeping) I am Garrus.

Barbie: No you're not. Your name is Archangel. His name was Garrus.

Garrus: Please let this be a dream, please let this be a dream, please let this be a dream...

Barbie: Let's go kill some mercs to save Archangel!

Garrus: This is so much worse than a dream. I'm in hell.

* * *

Garrus: They're coming in from the basement!

Barbie: I'll go hold take them out! Mordin, you're with me. Jacob, stay with Garrus and keep him alive! (runs off)

Garrus: (leaning out the window) I'm up here! Shoot me! Shoot me now!

Jacob: (tackles Garrus to the ground) What the hell are you doing?

Garrus: You don't understand now, but the longer you stay with her you will. Some day, you will pray for death, and it will not come!!

* * *

Garrus: Only the Blue Suns are left. I say we take our chances and--

Tarak: Archangel! You thought you could screw with the Blue Suns?

(Garrus runs out into the open with his arms outstretched)

Garrus: Take me now! (gets shot in the face with a rocket)

Barbie: You asshole! (takes out grenade launcher, destroys gunship)

Jacob: He looks bad.

Barbie: Hang on Garrus, help's on the way!

Garrus: *gurgle*

* * *

Garrus: Shepard.

Jacob: Tough son of a bitch. I didn't think he'd even be up yet.

Shepard: Great! I'm going to call you Garrus, because Archangel is too tough to say.

Garrus: What did I do to deserve this fate?

Shepard: Gear up, Garrus! We have work to do!

Garrus: (sighing) I'll go get my gun.

Owen Shepard:

Took a tour of the Normandy. Saw a memorial wall. Didn't have anything like this with Cerberus. I'm bet Anderson was behind this. I didn't know them all, but Faith did. [Note: Had no way to add Faith's name to that wall or she'd be there.] The ship is missing something, though: a plumber & chef.


Went down to engineering. Had a chat with Adams, who was on Faith's original Normandy. He'd decided to join this crew. Was also very impressed with how much better the SR-2 was from the original. Then I went down to the level below, where Jack used to hide. Found some of my model ships. Can't imagine how they got there. BUT...I also found my space hamster!


The shuttle bay was completely redesigned. This is where our shuttle was stored. No more of that shitty Hammerhead. Even had a pilot, Steve Cortez. He seemed to be on friendly terms with Vega, who also hung out down here. Like Traynor, he had been here to set the ship up, but wanted to serve as my shuttle pilot, for which he was eminently qualified. He was also a procurement specialist and maintained the armory. I also learned he had a husband who he'd lost on Ferris Fields when the Collectors abducted the colony. I could relate to that.


I also talked to Vega. He wanted to "dance". Learned he was feeling guilty because he had gained intel on the Collectors but had to sacrifice a colony to get it. Then it turned out to be useless because I was taking out the Collectors. Still, I saw how good of a fighter he was and knew I needed him. I also showed him I was still a better fighter than he was.


Headed to Sanctum to investigate a Cerberus lab that was thought to have samples of Reaper tech. That made me uneasy but I'd rather we had it than them. James and Liara were my only options at this point, even if I'd rather had let Liara do her Shadow Brokering. We needed whatever intel she and her agents could dig up.

Secured three pieces of Reaper tech but when I tried to drop it Cortez had to get away from four Cerberus ships on his tail. He managed to shake them while we cleared the pick up area of Cerberus troops. We handed it over to Alliance scientists but who knew what would come of it? Hackett wound never allow them to endanger themselves the way TIM did his people..

Went to Hades Gamma and learned scanning wasn't what it used to be. I no longer had to go to each individual planet, instead sending out a wider scan. However, this attracted the attention of the Reapers. Had to constantly be on the run when they showed up but I found some interesting resources, as well as fuel. Most of the fuel depots had been destroyed.

Now it was time for Palaven. A look outside of the shuttle showed us it was being hit as hard as Earth, and this was the stronger military in the galaxy. I hoped, somehow, that Garrus was alive.

Landing on Menae, I talked to a General Corinthus. He said the Primarch was dead and that he would have been an outstanding diplomat. Damn. However, there were clear lines of succession. The only problem was the comm tower was down and swarmed by husks. That meant they couldn't find out who was next in line until they could communicate with Palaven command. My next step was clear: fix that tower. That was Liara's job while James and I defended the tower. [BTW, I absolutely love Nova. Still enjoy Charge, and Carnage, but Nova kicks ass for those up close and personal fights.]

Got a call from Corinthus. He had some news and I headed back. Things were still chaotic but he had an idea of where to look. Then Garrus showed up, alive and well. Corinthus - a general - called him "sir". He'd clearly gone up in the world. It was sounding more and more like individual governments had believed in the Reaper threat. It was just the Council itself that was sticking their heads in the sand.


General Victus was next in line. He was bold, some calling him reckless, and it stifled his career. This guy had also fought in the First Contact War. That seemed like it might make things difficult. Then again, Hackett was also in that war and he'd managed to get past a dislike of turians. First, had to deal with an incursion of husks. There was a new kind here that looked like turians. We called them Marauders. I still don't know what those Cannibals are supposed to be since I'd never seen anything like them. Yagh, maybe?

Then we had to defend the main barricade from a husk attack. That was fine until some giant hulk hit the barricade and knocked me off. If I had to pinpoint what it was, I'd say it was some combination of a turian and a krogan. That last part made it tough. I'd faced down krogan before, but none that were enhanced by the Reapers. Sort of like how husks were tougher than humans. Once we'd taken care of it we headed in the direction of where Garrus had last seen Victus.

We got a look at Palaven. It was on fire. Garrus still had a sister and a father down there. We wondered if people had listened to the warnings if we'd have been more prepared. I think James was right when he said the scope of this attack was something we could never have prepared for. We found some soldiers who directed us in the direction of Victus. I looked up at Palaven again. Saw Reapers doing...whatever the hell they do on the ground. Hard to believe we were moving toward it.


Hooked Victus. He hadn't known of his new status as Primarch. I also told him he needed to attend a summit about how to deal with the Reapers. He wasn't thrilled by the need to leave, nor did he think he was the right person since he wasn't "by the book". Just like Faith had told Anderson when she picked him for Councilor, I though the soldier mentality was just what was needed, especially in a time of war.


Victus went to say goodbye to his men. Garrus said he was going to rejoin me. When Victus came back he said the only way he could help Earth is if the pressure was taken off Palaven. The only way he saw that happening is if the krogan joined the fight. That was a tall order. The krogan hated the turians and I couldn't imagine them helping.

Talked to the asari Councilor. She said the dalatrass was being a whiny little bitch about the whole thing and that the asari would not be attending the summit. As I've continually said about the Council: they're useless. If we win this war I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure the Council is dismantled. If they can't help in times of great need why would we possibly rely on them?

I talked to Victus on the Normandy. He was all for helping Earth, given that the krogan helped Palaven. He'd been in the First Contact War but none of that mattered anymore. Too bad the asari and salarians could come to the same conclusions. We're dying in droves and they're still bickering about the past.

About then, the lights flickered. Joker said EDI had gone offline. He suggested I head to the AI core, which is where we'd stored the robot. I hope bringing that thing aboard wasn't going to shoot us in the foot. When I got there, and the fires had been put out, I asked EDI what was going on. Then the robot stepped forward, using EDI's voice. She had taken control of the robot. Though now primarily in the ship, EDI had a mobile platform. It was her intention to be able to accompany me on missions. Given how powerful the robot was, I wasn't exactly opposed to this idea. At least not so long as she didn't turn out like the geth. Then again, there was Legion.


Traynor picked up a distress signal from Grissom Academy which was then said to be false. Something sounded off to her and EDI said she believed it was Cerberus. I didn't know much about Grissom other than that they trained biotics and that I'd sent David Archer there. It sounded like something worth investigating. First, though, I was stopping off at the Citadel. Got a message from Kaidan saying he was awaken.

I headed to Huerta. I had received a message from Thane and he was there. Thane said he was nearing the end of he life but would look out for Kaidan should enemies try to attack him in his weakened state. Also learned that he had rebuilt his relationship with his son. I asked him to come with me but he said his medical needs were too great to be of real help.


Udina was in Kaidan's room. I wondered what that might be about. He'd never showed any interest in him before, at least according to his time with Faith and when we dated afterward. I guess a lot could have changed. Kaidan told me he'd been offered a position as a Spectre. I could see why. Humanity needed the best of the best and that was Kaidan. I hoped he would take the position. He also wanted to know that we were okay after the things said on Horizon and Mars. I think I could forgive him anything.


Stopped by Purgatory to see what Aria T'Loak was doing there. A C-Sec officer was trying to get Aria to go through immigration processing. Aria made one call to the asari councilor and that bitch wrote it all off. She'll do anything for a criminal but ignore someone trying to unite the galaxy against the biggest threat we'd ever seen.

The gist (been misspelling this for years and never knew until now) of it was that Aria had lost Omega to Cerberus. She agreed to get me the help of the Blood Pack, Eclipse and Blue Sons in exchange for helping me take back Omega. I didn't like mercs. That was absolute fact. But I could use some throwaway troops so I agreed.

Found my former engineers, Daniels and Donnelly, at the bar. They wanted to work for me again and I had to admit they were great at the job. I'm sure Adams could use the help of top-notch engineers.


Picked up some Koi. My aquarium was empty, which meant my space hamster was feeling lonely. Also grabbed an aquarium VI. I doubted Traynor was going to feed my fish the way Kelly had.

Getting the Blood Pack on my side was easy. Their head was a vorcha with ambitions of turning my head into a hood ornament. Fortunately, Aria had made a deal with his second-in-command. I helped with the coup and had one set of mercs at my disposal.

Kelly Chambers was in the Holding Area for the Docks. Like Donnelly and Daniels she had run from Cerberus. She never knew what they were really like, something I suspected. That entire crew had been made to believe that Cerberus was about advancing humanity, not that they were willing to turn their people into husks or inject them with thresher maw venom to make it happen. I asked her to come back but she couldn't stop reliving her abduction by the Collectors. Also, she was using her psychology degree to help refugees. If she wouldn't come with me, where I could keep her safe, I wanted her to change her look and identity. I didn't trust that Cerberus wouldn't come after here. Bonus: She'd saved my fish and was sending them back to me.


Now it was off to Grissom Academy to save those students. I took Garrus and, for the heck of it to see what she could do, EDI. No surprise that Cerberus ships were all over the place. A message from Kahlee Sanders - the director of Grissom - mentioned that we could get in through an auxiliary cargo hold. Fortunately, most of the students had been sent home. Less than twenty remained and the biotics on board were given military training. Could be useful.

Cerberus was making announcements, saying they'd be save with them, that they'd found their parents, etc. All a slick illusion so these kids would turn themselves over to a madman. That's when I ran into the person protecting them, who was none other than Jack. She actually cared about these kids, asking me to keep Cerberus of their backs. She'd changed since I last saw her.


Our extraction point was a no-go but Kahlee had another possibility. Required fighting through a lot of Cerberus troops. Me and my squad would draw fire from below while Jack and the students shadowed us from above. That was the best option to keep them alive. Then I found one of things that made it all worth it doing a Cerberus mission. David Archer. He was alive and well and on his way to safety.


Looked like Rodriguez was a primary target, the one Cerberus wanted alive. Jack wasn't sure how ready any of her students were for battle but Cerberus seemed to think this one had potential. Of course, that probably meant "improving" her like they had Cerberus troops. I took control of an Atlas battlesuit to help protect the students while they made their way to the shuttle and before their barriers went down. There were a lot of troops coming my way. Once the shuttle was ready we ran for it. All that rage I'd always thought made her most powerful? She was now channeling it into the protection of her students. Kahlee seemed to think they were ready for battle but I used Jack's assessment and put them in support roles. They'd be equally useful but in different, safer roles.

Talked to Cortez. He was replaying the last thing he'd heard from his husband. Robert had wanted him to move on. But it wasn't all that long ago. Even I'd had plenty of time to grieve after Mindoir. Faith never let it go, not until near the end of her life. I didn't want to see Cortez end up the same way.

Went to the Citadel to see Kaidan. He was just getting ready to leave Huerta. He'd accepted his new role as a Spectre. I knew he'd be great for it. If not for the migraines, he probably could have been an N7. It's just that the grueling training is hard to get through when your head is on fire.

Miranda Lawson wanted to meet with me on the Citadel. Her sister had gone missing. She was convinced her father was involved. Not so far-fetched given that TIM had been behind getting her to safety. She wasn't asking for help, at least not yet, but I guess she needed to talk it out with someone she trusted. I remember not so long ago when she didn't trust me at all.

Jondum Bau, a Spectre, asked for my help. He believed there was an indoctrinated hanar who might threaten the hanar homeworld. It turned out to be the hanar ambassador. Bau had gotten the tip about this from Kasumi. She revealed herself to me and tagged along in stealth mode. When we confronted the hanar, it revealed that it was serving the Reapers because the Enkindlers (Protheans) had become the Collectors and served the Reapers. Therefore, it was their duty to do the same. Also, the hanar released a virus that would destroy the hanar homeworld's defenses. Kasumi became visible to stop the virus while Bau stopped an attack on him from a human who was also clearly indoctrinated. Kasumi faked her death. Bau then said he and some fellow Spectres would be there for me when I needed them. I then convinced Kasumi to work on the Crucible since her ability to hack unfamiliar technology was incredible.

It's a mod, based on cut content. You can find it here.

I'd love to have MEUITM or ALOT but they're in conflict with one I find necessary. 

Damn well now I really feel bad.  I meant more that I was disappointed that I had completely missed something I should not have.

I have just never been bothered modding MET at all. DAO, DA2 and DAI yes but never MET, not sure why and MEA I have at least 15 mods so.....

Mmm if I play ME3 again I will look into modding it.

I actually found Kasumi quite solid in my last PT and she didn't die once on her LM. I think her and Jack worked well on the couple of missions I took them on together maybe Jack's crowd control stops her getting overwhelmed.

There are some great mods out there for all three games.  Just make sure there's no conflict.  Some work well together, others are problematic.  If you can run MEA mods, I guarantee you MET mods are a lot easier to install.

Besides space monkeys, I learned that space cows also exist in all three games. I wish I could remember where Shepard found them in ME2 but I'm pretty sure they're there. Also, in the Citadel DLC at Armax Arsenal Arena, a space cow is shown as a competitor.

EDIT: They're seen in the Overlord DLC.  Also, Gil Brodie apparently makes mention of them in MEA.