Are turians aliens?

Maybe your turian had blue waffle disease.

They're genetically manipulated chickens, created by the UNAS after the Fries-of-Unspecified-Origin War, initiated when the EU demanded that all Americans refer to "French" Fries as "Flemish Fries" after official complaints from the French, disappointed at their neighbours' creation mistakenly being attributed to them. This was also around the same time that the French decided to embrace the old joke about being frogs through their own genetic manipulation and renamed themselves "salarians" However, following arguments, Parisians separated and became "drell."
Of course, this was all really just a distraction tactic to remove focus from the succession of Moscow from the Arabian-Russian Empire, upon which the remains of Moscow were launched into space and renamed "Tuchanka", the Arabs revolted, shrunk, began wearing full armor suits, and named themselves "volus", and the East European refugees caught in the crossfire adapted their own suits and assumed the roles of "quarians".
All because Prime Minister Donald Obama-Trump VII shot a unicorn while eating fries.

That's not fair. It was love. He loved all 70 of you.

But you throw away the things you love, and one of them was him.

Actually, if I recall correctly, The First Contact War happened cuz we invaded their space when we tried using the mass relay for the 1st time...so, technically, doesn't that make us the aliens?

'Yeah, Vazquez, you thought they said illegal aliens so you signed up.'

As far as I'm concerned, we're all just ayy lmaos in our own special way.

Pearl let me tell you the graphic, controversial and highly descriptive nature of this post is just fine with me but COMIC SANS? MRRRAAAWR to that