Worst Valentine's Day gift ideas

Do these come in poison tree frog?

I would take this gladly any day! I'm sure my head needs some serious checking.

"How to be the perfect girl (or boy) friend"? I hate "How to..."-books telling you how to make your miserable life perfect, 99.9% of them are utter bs.

Get him a 20$ inflatable doll instead... oh, but he would still like it.

Boob implants.

Even better, get her a dildo. It will save you lot of time and energy and you can concentrate on more important things like video games instead!

Wait so just 2 bags of silicone in a box or like...surprise anesthesia + involuntary elective surgery?

That's presuming that the video gamer boyfriend isn't so immersed in the video games that he forgets he even has a girlfriend in the first place. Not saying it's happened to me, but...

Then I recommend a second gift in combination with yours. If you need full concentration when you are gaming....

Is it weird that I'd be actually using it everywhere and giggling to myself at having such a versatile gift?

BS! You are a man and everybody knows that men can't multitask.

Here are a few gifts
A dill pickle, an uncomfortable silence, an extra thumb, 24 hour surveillance, a pet cobra(untrained), the skulls of the vanquished, and a restraining order.

To crush your enemies, to have them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.


I haven't had to get anyone a Valentine's Day gift since I've never been in a relationship. It mostly comes from lack of interest and having a lot to deal with in my life.

Paintings are actually a really good gift if they like to decorate, especially if it is something related to anything they like. One of my friends got it for his girlfriend and she loved it.