I freaking love this fantastic game!

I'm so happy I bought this game! The AI couldn't be fairer - even on higher difficulties. For example, the Geth Rocket Trooper alway shouts "Fire in a hole!" before he turns on you and fires one rocket. Their biggest platform, the Geth Prime is almost incapable of hitting you. It has to get at least 5 feet from you to be able to hurt you. The drone and the turret it deploys look like they're only for show. They never hit me, not even from close. Even if they do, I barely notice it, because I can just keep running.
The Cerberus team is like a bunch of Mexicans rounded up at the Texas border on a pick-up truck for daily labor. They have no idea what they're doing; they are trying so hard! Like their most elite combatant, the Phantom shows off her salsa skills with cartwheels, exposing herself to fire - and even when you host the game on the highest difficulty - you can just take her down gently with an M4 Phalanx. The big slow "Atlas" as they call it, is a poor joke. It barely does any damage, and when it fires missiles, it's so clumsy, it never hits anything it's supposed to! Mostly it takes out its poor people who get caught in its crossfire. I know this because I mainly stay in hardcover, but I can always get out when I need to run, it's too easy, you just barely have to touch the "b" button, or whisper to the Kinect device quietly "out!".
The Reapers are just people who were turned into this mutant half robot, half meat...things. Like one of their foot soldiers, the Marauder... I don't even know what purpose he serves with that silly Phaeston Assault Rifle. He should have that Cerberus Harrier that everyone likes so much because that silly thing barely does any damage! It's like throwing ping-pong balls at us!
And last, but not least, the Collectors. They are like friends! The knit these cute webs, so the bacteria can't catch us, so our soldiers don't have to wipe their nose under that heavy helmet, and also, if the game is played on a higher difficulty, no bullet can go through its defensive properties!
Those crab-like things called Praetorians are friendly in their habitat. I know this because David Attenborough made a show only about Praetorians and how hard their lives are. They are pregnant 100% of the time with 36 little kids in their bellies that they need to carry around. And they also try to amuse with that beautiful laser show they do, when they face you. If you don't feel like watching the show, or you believe in the pseudo-scientists, you can just go to soft cover, and you'll never see or feel the laser beam again.
The ground troops are also only for show; they don't do anything but planting tomatoes. And with heads that big, you could take them down if you want to with a scope mounted to your M3 Predator. And their father, the Scion is just trying to make sure, that the hose is always functional to provide water and energy (but mainly for the tomatoes). Sometimes he throws apples at us in clusters, and they are so shiny and red and scrumptious, you can eat them and be healthier than Michelle Obama! Or if you are rude, you can just step back and leave them. It's up to you.
Thank you for your attention!