Post by vanguard4 on Mar 30, 2017 14:23:24 GMT
Ok, there are topics about the weight limit being useless, weapons being unbalanced, stuff being too easy, stuff being too hard, Animations out of sync, bad writing, off-host playing being a subpar experience, but who cares - here is the most important topic of all:
Blast oh´s! A healthy cereal designed to optimize your fibre intake with added vitamins, minerals and condensed harmless eezo-nutrients, so your biotic field stays strong.
( Picture cannot be uploaded due to this boards limit is exceeded, it seems. See a similiar picture here:
or go into any kitchen like object in Multiplayer and see for yourself
)
The aspiring spacefaring Andromeda explorer should eat Blast oh´s daily to prevent:
- Sea sickness
- Dying of malnutrition
- Zero gravity muscle atrophy
- Lack of appetite
- Invasion of parasitic alien species in your central brain stem
- Erectile dysfunction
- Loss of affection from your loved ones, pets and coworkers
- Hairloss
- Weight loss
- Loss of loss
- Everything!
Did we mention they are delicious? Blast oh´s come in different taste variations, from the Thessian Favourite "jhana`run" to the all-time human favourite "Freshly picked boogers" ( Translation provided by the Elkor Foundation of translation and mutual understanding(tm) ). We are sure you will like it! No, really, our surveys about this are ironclad: YOU LIKE THIS!
Blast oh´s are also conveniently nourishable for both Detro and Levo based lifeforms, since they don´t contain any nutrients whatsoever! Just what you need for your daily start when you crawl around alien ruins - you don´t want to deal with food poisoning, because your Turian crewmates played another practical joke on you and switched your rations, right? RIIGHT? Damn thos Levos. Or the dextros, in case you are Levo! We are open to shifting the blame as you see fit.
Side effects may include:
- Rash, diarrhea, vomitting, nauseau, insufferable mood swings, mutation of your DNA code, curing the Genophage, variations of your skin color and pigmentation, additional ears growing out of your back and a lot of other stuff you really don´t want to know about or even would care! All you need to know is: It is good for you, your family, your dog and your space engine! Put it everywhere!
Ask your nutritionist if Blast oh´s are right for you!
Today.
No seriously, go do it.
---------
All I need now is an announcer putting this into an advertisement and I´d be happy for life.
Blast oh´s! A healthy cereal designed to optimize your fibre intake with added vitamins, minerals and condensed harmless eezo-nutrients, so your biotic field stays strong.
( Picture cannot be uploaded due to this boards limit is exceeded, it seems. See a similiar picture here:
or go into any kitchen like object in Multiplayer and see for yourself
)The aspiring spacefaring Andromeda explorer should eat Blast oh´s daily to prevent:
- Sea sickness
- Dying of malnutrition
- Zero gravity muscle atrophy
- Lack of appetite
- Invasion of parasitic alien species in your central brain stem
- Erectile dysfunction
- Loss of affection from your loved ones, pets and coworkers
- Hairloss
- Weight loss
- Loss of loss
- Everything!
Did we mention they are delicious? Blast oh´s come in different taste variations, from the Thessian Favourite "jhana`run" to the all-time human favourite "Freshly picked boogers" ( Translation provided by the Elkor Foundation of translation and mutual understanding(tm) ). We are sure you will like it! No, really, our surveys about this are ironclad: YOU LIKE THIS!
Blast oh´s are also conveniently nourishable for both Detro and Levo based lifeforms, since they don´t contain any nutrients whatsoever! Just what you need for your daily start when you crawl around alien ruins - you don´t want to deal with food poisoning, because your Turian crewmates played another practical joke on you and switched your rations, right? RIIGHT? Damn thos Levos. Or the dextros, in case you are Levo! We are open to shifting the blame as you see fit.
Side effects may include:
- Rash, diarrhea, vomitting, nauseau, insufferable mood swings, mutation of your DNA code, curing the Genophage, variations of your skin color and pigmentation, additional ears growing out of your back and a lot of other stuff you really don´t want to know about or even would care! All you need to know is: It is good for you, your family, your dog and your space engine! Put it everywhere!
Ask your nutritionist if Blast oh´s are right for you!
Today.
No seriously, go do it.
---------
All I need now is an announcer putting this into an advertisement and I´d be happy for life.
