Andromeda - my take [review]

I finished Andromeda last night. Started playing it a week after release, took me 105 hours in total (according to Origin's stopwatch), and I can't say it was the best 105 hours I've ever spent on a game. It has been a very underwhelming experience.

THE GOOD

- new Mass Effect game! HUZZZAAAAAH

- Of course the graphics are gonna be more impressive this time round 5 years after the release of ME3. The engine has tons of potential as we've seen in Battlefield 1 - but where they utilized to their full potential?

- The addition of something so basic as a Jump feature to Mass Effect (and let's face it, ME3's evade roll isn't exactly revolutionary) has made firearms combat much more fun. I say firearms because the powers that became Mass Effect's trademark are beyond lacking.

- Not that I would know - considering I'm a gay man with no interest whatsoever in romancing a female character, but they've apparently stepped up their game on the culmination of said romances. They tried.

- Finally a pilot I didn't want to throw out the airlock from day 1.


THE BAD & THE UGLY

Oh ef me, where do I even start?

When it comes to Mass Effect, the sci-fi element is automatically implied; in fact, it should be front & center as its MAIN selling point. But what exactly makes a good/great sci-fi game? Is it the amount of "space magic", the fancy alien designs that make you go "whoa, if that thing actually existed......"?

Mass Effect is the only Bioware franchise that I've played from start to end. Even though I haven't touched Knights of the Old Republic, I keep hearing people mention it rather fondly as possibly the best work Bioware has ever done, and considering it's got an almost perfect score on all fronts, I can certainly imagine how awesome it is (and in how dire need of a remastered version it must be, if it came out in 2003).

I don't have much experience with sci-fi, but I know what I like. Playing Mass Effect 1/2 for the first time made me completely forget that I was living in the 21st century. I was completely immersed in the story & atmosphere that I actually played the first 2 games back to back without pause. By the time I finished ME1, ME2 was complete with all DLC and ME3 was around a month away from release.
The demo was already available on Origin, so I tried that to see the improvements they had made, since I had found ME1 to be technically clunky. I was impressed so I finished ME1 and loaded ME2 5 minutes later. Off I went again, and I was blown away even more. I wish I could wipe my memory so I could play them for the first time all over again. Because Andromeda has left a bad taste in my mouth.

Yes, there were evil ugly aliens obsessed with turning everyone else into them, yes we had ancient aliens from the deep with really fancy tech. Brand new galaxy etc etc. But the plethora of shortcomings have put a major dampener on it.

- Let's start with the design of the Nexus/Hyperior interior. Nothing stands out design-wise, they look like some garden-variety space station in some random ME2 "anomaly detected". The Nexus certainly can't even begin to compare to the sci-fi brilliance of the ME1 Citadel. Very uninspired indeed. And speaking of uninspired........

- If you're gonna design alien worlds from another galaxy, the LAST THING you want to do is copy/paste. Yet that's exactly what Bioware did. Copied/pasted one planet and named it Eos, Kadara & Elaaden. Eos is an arid rocky desert with.......rocks and sand. Kadara is a replica of Eos with a bit of water & basic vegetation sprinkled around it, and Elaaden is a more "extreme" version of Eos just without the water, vegetation and the rocks.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING

Some people could easily say the same thing about Voeld: that Voeld is basically a replica of Elaaden with the climate reversed. A frozen desert. I can definitely agree with that. After spending so much time on boring Eos, the LAST thing I wanted to do was visit another planet that reminded me of the boredom I felt while "exploring" said Eos.

Aya looked like a blinged-up version of Sur'kesh (what little we saw of the Salarian homeworld), but we didn't stay there long enough at first and we were rushed out the door pretty much straight away, barred from even leaving the docks but being allowed to move around enough to pick up some lame sidequests.

I did Kadara before Havarl and I ended up regretting it. Kadara Port is basically Omega in daytime.....without the bling of Afterlife. Some big bad outlaw central with some garden-variety stuck-up Jacqueline Naught-wannabe bitch at the helm. How original. So you have to grind around Kadara to raise viability as per usual.....Eos Pt2 or Pt3 for those who put Voeld in the same camp.

I'm about 50% through the main storyline when I reach Havarl. Others say it reminds them of the Avatar planet (I haven't watched it so I wouldn't know). To me, a more cleaned up version of Havarl, looks like what a Prothean world would've looked like at its peak. It's beautiful, but you only get like a tiny fraction of map to explore compared to other worlds so you don't spend much time here. There's no outpost to set up either so you're in and out pretty quick. You don't get to enjoy it for long.

I figured things might be looking up so I was looking forward to Elaaden. But, even before I landed, the first thing I said out loud was "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!". Another desert world and this time it's even worse than Eos. The only reasons why I didn't uninstall the game right there and then are because I

1) paid 80 bucks for the deluxe version
2) enjoy krogan banter.

In spite of that, I couldn't wait to get out of there.

From there on out it was a straight run to the finale. Too bad I had to get to around 90% game completion to finally get something that resembled genuine Mass Effect feels. Entering Meridian felt close to that, even though it didn't last long. The way it sounded, I thought that we'd battle up those two towers. But it was more like run 60 seconds in that direction, then run 60 seconds in the opposite direction to reach the Remnant terminals and that was it.

They tried to re-use the vibe of the Ilos Trench Run when they made us chase the Archon in the Mako. I kinda got mildly excited because I thought "FINALLY I'll get some decent action out of this snoozefest". But that didn't last long either. Just kill a bunch of Kett, then kill a bunch of Remnant while you hop around from platform to platform.........and that's it. Talk about pulling out before you finish........

When stupid idiot SAM said we're going back to Habitat 7, I kinda hoped it would end with a small bang. Out of all the planets, Habitat 7 was the one I enjoyed the most. But you don't even get to land there. Definitely felt like Bioware trolling me "we gave you a shit game, bored you half to death and then we mildly got your hopes up only to stomp on them all over again".

- Going from 8 active powers down to 3 is one of the biggest shortcomings of Andromeda. If you were Bioware, you'd expect the majority of buyers to be gamers who have played the original trilogy, which means they'd be used to having 8 powers. If I wanted to play COD in space, I would've bought COD. Biotics, in particular, are the trademark of the Mass Effect franchise. Andromeda is supposed to be what ME1 was MEANT to be, yet the trademark of the franchise seriously sucks.

Where are the biotic big bada booms? Where are the Slams or the Warps, or the Flares that make us feel like biotic gods??? What, Lance? That feeble junk? Or the now-pathetic Shockwave? The higher-level you get, the weaker you feel because enemy hit points increase much higher per level, and weapons do NOT level up with you automatically.

Where does that leave you? More grinding so you can collect enough materials to research and THEN craft.

- Which brings up to the research/crafting system. In a zombie game, the crafting system is pretty much a given considering you'd have to scrounge for supplies at every corner in order to survive. But in a Mass Effect game, it's just more layers of annoyance. And when those levels of annoyance further delay your power-up progress, it makes gameplay a tedious grind. Enemy hit points go up but you still do the same damage, turning each fight into an attrition affair.

Researching new technology in a new galaxy: I suppose it makes sense but it would've been much better in blueprint form. You find/buy blueprints and you create new guns. Grinding for research points ON TOP OF crafting mats makes it a pain in the ass. Which is why I used a trainer to unlock all research from the get go - and I'm glad I did, considering what a drag the rest of the game was. If the game was more fun, the crafting system in its current form would've been more tolerable.

- The music: oh dear. When I first played ME1, the main menu tune (which I later discovered was the main theme of the franchise) immediately took me elsewhere in my mind. I grew so frustrated with the horrible inventory to the point where I didn't make it past Eden Prime. I put the game down for several months, but that main theme tune stayed in my mind. As music is my biggest passion in life, I knew I was onto something. How could I not?

Vigil - the Supermix

The buzz surrounding the upcoming ME3 grew louder and "Vigil" in my head was driving me crazy, so I picked up ME1 again and made it work. And I'm so glad I did. Musically, it just got better and better. I could easily remember the ambient tunes from all the different worlds. Feros and Noveria, Virmire and especially Ilos. Then ME2 featured a concept score with Suicide Mission front & center - goDAMN fine music. The whole score wasn't as 80s sci-fi as ME1 was, it instead had a more primal percussive sound. But it worked. It fit the game's theme perfectly.

Suicide Mission - Supermix

ME3 score mixed both ME1 and ME2 styles, and even though the new tracks weren't quite upto par with the recycled pieces from ME1/2, it still had memorable themes such as Future for the Krogan, the Creation theme and the Cerberus tracks.

The Andromeda team decided to go with a no-name composer. And it bit them on the ass big time. Aside from the main menu theme (that is spectacularly average to begin with), there are no memorable pieces of music in the game at all. The music might as well be on mute because it certainly didn't add anything to the atmosphere of any world. Lazy & uninspired from start to finish. One of the weakest scores I've had the displeasure of listening to in my life.
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- The squadmates/crew: Uh......where do I even start? I think I'll keep this one as short as possible.

Vetra: has a bit of a mouth on her but other than that she's as exciting as dishwater. Noone would remember her if she wasn't a female Turian. Her reputation as a top-notch smuggler didn't spruce her up.

Liam: is pretty much tied with Jacob for most disliked squaddie. At least Jacob didn't try so hard to be cool, which is where Liam fails the most. Aside from Habitat 7, early Eos and his loyalty mission, I didn't use him. I facepalm hard when I see how awesome Bioware tried to make him sound pre-release. Now before you say "aww you just don't like him because you think he's fugly". To which I say Liam certainly IS fugly, but good looks didn't save Kaidan either.

Cora: A middle-aged ice queen who brings up her asari commando training way too often for my liking, as if she's trying real hard to compensate for her lack of personality.........yeah didn't work. NEXT!

Drack: for me he's too much a replica of Wrex, except for the constant whining about his creaky old bones. Wrex is a freelance merc, Drack is a freelance.....something. They both join the Galactic Jesus and become more relevant to their people because of it. Except Drack is too busy feeling sorry for himself most of the time.

Peebee: As soon as people started calling her the Hamburglar Asari, my mind flashed back to, well......this: *concealed snickering*



Yeah they didn't want people to accuse her of being Liara 2.0, so they made her even more annoying than she could possibly be. Awww, the wayward punk who paints herself as a lone wolf but develops a soft spot for the rest of the crew, I'm all misty-eyed.......not.

Jaal: the Angara are interesting enough, with what little biological info we got on them, but Jaal as a squaddie doesn't really tickle my fancy. Too soft. Not an interesting guy in my book.

Now with a new engine, THIS is where an alleged badass assassin like Thane or an all-powerful psycho bitch like Jack would've shone. But there was nothing new here. Just bland on top of bland. I'd have been happier with 6 Javik clones. Oh can you imagine the banter between THOSE??? Even comparing Andromeda to just ME1, we had 4 new species to learn about from squadmates alone.

- We're in a brand new galaxy, where one cluster is the size of the entire frikkin Milky Way........so where are the new alien species? The Remnant are artificial constructs with no real sentience, don't really count. So all we get is the Kett and Angara........how exciting. A brand new setting a gazillion light years away and we only get introduced to 2 native species, and a 3rd one is only briefly referred to at the end of the game (Jardaan). If we ignore Bring Down The Sky that debuts the Batarians (since Andromeda has no DLC yet), in base ME1 we're introduced to the Turians, Salarians, Asari, Krogan, Elcor, Hanar, Volus, Quarians, Geth (if you want to count them in), Rachni and the Reapers.

- The story itself: Now I can't really be TOO negative about it. I mean, what else could we have expected? New galaxy, we're looking for a new home, in how many different ways can things go wrong in a setting like this? Yet I feel so underwhelmed with it because it was poorly executed. I expected things to be more hectic. Instead we're introduced to the mean Kett, we give them a bitchslapping on a couple different worlds, their Archon gets pissed off, more grinding between chapters, and from there it's a beeline to Meridian. The Archon story arc could easily fit in a DLC, because it surely not big enough to be the main baddie of an entire game. When he dropped like a sack of potatoes, I was like "is that it?"

- The writers trying to be more edgy by sprinkling random F-bombs had the opposite effect. I drop F-bombs when they're warranted, but I don't walk away like a good little boy when someone blatantly tells me to fuck off in my face and then get in someone else's face who just wants to exalt me. Renegade Shepard would've cleaved that asari bitch's head right off. The only F-bomb that made me grunt in amusement was Drack's while musing about the Resistance fighting exalted Angaras. FUUUUCK

- Did they run out of money before they could scan different faces for the Asari? Why does even Avina look like Lexi?


CONCLUSION

They tried. But they failed to make a true blockbuster, even with that AAA budget of theirs. A new game in a new galaxy with a new protagonist was supposed to breathe new life in the franchise. It did not do that. It only exposed current Bioware's weaknesses. Because this is definitely NOT the same team who created the game that enthralled me for weeks or months. I've played through the entire original trilogy several times. But even after 6 months, I won't be able to bring myself to replay Andromeda a second time.

The plethora of bugs that plague the game, from embarrassing visual glitches like the Sloane-octupus creature twisting around itself like a pretzel, to the galaxy map bugging out & freezing the game when you're trying to scan something, to missing/unscannable quest items like datapads, angaran bodies or glitching progression like the stupid memory triggers........I would find it physically painful to replay this unpolished mess.

I got fed up with looking for that last stupid memory trigger, so I watched the conclusion of it on Youtube......and you know what happened? As soon as I heard the Reaper horn in the audio transmission, I wanted to uninstall Andromeda and fire up ME3 again. When you want to play a 5-year old game more than a 1-month old game, then you know someone fucked up.

Took me 105 hours and 3 weeks to finish the game, with several days' pauses in between. Felt too much like a chore.

The final verdict: i444.photobucket.com/albums/qq165/junah42/FAIL/fail-2.gif