Unpopular opinion: Straight Male romance was shafted.

Anders is still bi whether or not he talks about Karl to f!Hawke.  And Merrill makes comments about Isabela, Carver and the Qunari that make it pretty clear she's into guys and girls.  Fenris is very reserved and will only respond to flirts, not initate them.  All four LIs are bi.

There's no reason why Merrill can't be both demi and bi since that's the way she feels attraction, not who she's attracted to right?

Right, demisexuality is a very hard one to understand, mainly because it's rather recent in being made aware and it's vague enough to frustrate anyone who encounters it.

Somewhat after DAI's release there was talk of this on the forums and Allan said that animating bisexual romances takes more time as does animating romances for each available races (which is why Bull was supposed to be race-gated first). Apparently they have to animate scenes twice, once for both sexes. And more when different races included? Though I'm not sure if they truly did that, since romance scenes with dwarf/qunari tend to be bit awkward so it's not like they did them again from the scratch even if they did animate them again.

Writing unless you are changing lines and not just pronouns and gendered things like lady/mister etc. shouldn't take lot of time, but I know some players would like to see different lines for male and female protagonists (some weren't happy with Kaidan's lines being "recycled" for romance with male Shepard in ME3.

So you aren't doing everything twice, but there is things you need to change in terms of animation and writing at least with bi-romances. So -if not taking factor variables like how long romance scenes were, how fast different writers write etc.- it's likely that Josephine's romance took more time to do than Cassandra's due to Josephine being option for both sexes and Cassandra just one.

Carver: So, you're not like a lot of other girls.
Merrill: No, I'm an elf.
Carver: Right, alright then.
Merrill: Oh, did I miss something dirty?
Carver: What? No! It wasn't dirty. It wasn't anything.
Merrill: Oh? Right, because I miss a lot of dirty things and sometimes I wouldn't mind hearing them.
Carver: Would you now?

As for the Isabela/Merrill stuff there's nothing really in their banter.  It's just a vibe I picked up between them (Bioware, as has been mentioned elsewhere in this thread, are really bad at having bi characters express an open interest in the same gender).

As for Gaider not saying 'demi'.  A lot of people have never heard of demisexuality, or understand it. 

I completely agree that Anders should've talked about this with f!Hawke, not just m!Hawke.  BW have a bad habit of hiding their m/m NPC relationships (Zev's relationship with Rinna was made very clear in game, but the fact that it was a poly relationship with Taliesen was left to subtext and confirmed much later in World of Thedas, for example.  There's also Wade and Herran and Semus and Ashaad)

Varric can't be romanced because he's still in a relationship with Bianca (the woman, not the bow), and Harding was added as a flirt option very late in the game.  As for Leliana - BW said that they didn't want to use the budget they have for the romances on a character who had already been a romance, when they could write new ones.

(It nearly always comes down to money.)

This is beside the point, but fwiw Zevran explicitly says "we were friends...and more" about Taliesen. Granted, it was waaaay too easily overlooked (Zev has to walk away from the fight, and I imagine it's more common for him to defend the Warden or betray them...).

The poly thing, though, was 5000% subtext. Which is rather a shame.

(I'm not actually sure what my point was. Ignore meeee.)

I like this kind of complaints because Bioware felt like they could shove things down people throats. And I'm pro gay characters, I like the idea of females that do not fit the "feminine stereotype" and I'm in favor of black people or anything non-white, either by aesthetics or cultures and phylosophies. The problem is that in this case Bioware did not give the option for the traditional "white male gamer" be what he is. So for the thousandethish time I say, give people options.
It is easy, somehow, we have two kinds of people, people who like the "system programmed options" and people who want to "fight the system", so give people a hollywood perfect barbie and an alternative girl, might even have a different body model with some fat on it, not all people are thin not even all fighters/warriors. Also there are people who couldn't care less about aesthetics and romance for the story, personality and others, these won't bother if someone is an amputee or Orlando Bloom.
I'm all for all kinds of people, if in the future we go "furry", the hell, put catgirls and My Little Ponies as romance option but NEVER EVER limit people, do not MAKE people accept it. I'm ok with people saying Cassandra is superhot and all, but she is not the feminine stereotype and Josephine does not fit the nazi white male stereotyped woman either so in other words Bioware forced people against objetification which is dumb. Promoting black people, fat people, LGBT people (I'm happy for Krem) is amazing but not letting people live their fantasies in a fantasy world is dumb.
A "standard guy" wants to be Conan and fuck a lustful objetified sorceress in a bikini. You don't have to give it to the players, but the idea that the player is a masculine man and fucks a feminine woman, as the basic hetero fantasy should not be challenged. Mind you I'm a SJW, I don't even think people have the right to teach people heterossexuality, I don't even think that these fantasies are fair or even right, I'm the kind of person that thinks that there should be feminine man and masculine woman... BUT... if a (male?) person was programmed in the society to like the "feminine woman" and do not want to challenge his "programming" I think the game should have given him the option to be that person.
I think it should be obvious, people have the right to be dumb and just live the "standard life". Unless of course it means he will force his dumbness onto others. The whole problem is the forcing.
The solution is very simple as I said, give people options. Some lesbians like feminine women, other like masculine women, others don't care, so since we have two options for lesbians, would it hurt for Bioware to have a "lady" and a "butch"? Same thing for gay men and heterossexual men and women. Just give people the most obvious options when it comes to visuals, the "pro system" and the "fuck the system" ones and let them decide. It does not cover everything but it allows Judith Butler and Adolf Hitler to play the game without feeling they are being forced against their phylosophies.

yeah, yeah, right and I think (honestly, not kidding) that every heterossexual sex act is a rape, BUT, the world is not mine, so it matters not if I think people should be this way or that way, everybody should be what they want to be
from a political point of view you will teach nothing to oppressors by this kind of "justice", they will just let you play, and once they are done they will step on the oppressed again because they still have the social/financial power, the only thing that changes oppression is not conscience it is taking the power away, "dialoguing" with the oppressor, trying to teach lessons is a waste of time, Anders knew better as did Andraste
the reason I "pigeonholed" everyone in either "pro-system" and "fuck the system" is thar the game only offers two romance options for each sexual orientation so there is no point in debating other "classification" that will result in more the two "types" of people, I'm realistic, I deal with what we can have and these two cover the main disputes in all "political" matters in Bioware games
Mages and Templars, the others do not need to be in this discussion because they focus on other matters and are (or aren't) happy for entirely different reasons
And yes, regarding romance it is no possible to please every single person, but put a bimbo leliana and an overweight vivienne and you cover the claims from both sides, of course they would still complain because people like arguing but there you would have the representation of a woman that do not exist to please man and a woman that only exists to please man, oppressors and oppressed equally pleased and offended

Promishing...