****TURIAN THREAD: THE BEST THREAD ON THE INTERNET!!!!!*****

Glorious Fat Murder Scene Investigators


"What do you think?"
"Hmmm... yeah... looks like one of those poor girls."
"I know, right? Let me check something."


"Yes, it is one of those... we had reports coming in recently with more cases like this."
"Right. These girls that were found headless in various areas... a sad thing."
"Yeah. They should look after themselves. But they tempt fate with their occupation..."
"True. Well, nothing we can do for her anymore. I hope the other girls don't try anything as stupid as her."
"I wouldn't count on it."

Bonus Glorious Fat Pics from Spectator Mode, feat. Balbock's lovely TSent (thanks for letting me use them for this post)

Ideas come as they come. Sometimes quicker than thought. And since this idea came before playing the game and seeing screens of it, thanks fraggle for helping out with this one. And now again: Have Fun.


Today's Story is about another young Turian, somewhere and sometime else. He's a bit of a hotspur and has quite some marks already on his gun for wins in duels. And always looking for trouble. Today he's in a small town in the middle of nowhere like here:

"Ehh! Stranger" he shouts in his provoking way.
The somewhat older Turian seems calm as he turns around to look at him: "Yeah?"



"I demand an excuse!" Hotspur goes on.
"Why?" is all the older one says.
"Your yellow clothes disturb this beautifull evening light."
"Get lost, Youngling, and you might see the end of this sunset."
Hotspur thinks: 'Nice, this old fool is willing to take the fight. And looks like he doesn't carry that Sixshooter just for show.' and answers "Not before you have said sorry. I insist..." and stops half sentence as the older lifts his left arm. He then turns his head away, while still keeping his guard up, as if he is listening for something.
"You hear that?" He then asks.
'What a cheap trick... He should know better.' Hotspur thinks before saying: "Don't try to distract. You..." And gets interrupted again.
"Shut up and listen already, Youngling!" the older Turian says with a concerned undertone. And Hotspur starts to listen and hears the distant savage scream. And then another one. Closer.

"You're hearing them too." the older Turian says.
"Yeah... What's screaming there?" Hotspur responded, while hearing another scream even closer.
Older Turian looks back at him while saying: "Reapers... On the warpath... They will attack soon."
Some of the bystanders along the road now turn away and make a run for the secure shelter, then older Turian goes on: "We could shoot eachother now or later. Other than that I see these options: We run like cowards or stay and after the fight against the Reapers see, who still stands. What's your pick?"
Hotspur isn't a coward so he changes to a boastful pose while saying: "Stay and fight! I'll keep you alive, old man, so we can have our duel later!"



Just as a group of 12 Reapers turns up on the scene, both Turians draw their guns while turning to face the threat in one smooth motion and just seconds later as the echoes of 6 shots fade away the 12 Reapers are dead.
And while the Turians start to reload their guns, the older one says: "Just a small vanguard. Not long till the rest comes."
Before Hotspur can answer one of the braver Townspeople asks: "Who are you, Strangers?"
"I'm the Gunman." both Turians respond.
Hotspur looks at the older one and asks: "You too?"
"It seems like people haven't gotten any more creative with names." is the response. "And you, good people! Who don't want to fight should run now!" He then shouts before asking Hotspur: "Gunmen for now?"
"Gunmen for now. Have a good hunt, Gunman."
"Good Hunt, Gunman."

A fierce firefight starts and it doesn't look like it will end. But after a while the savage Reaper horde starts to thin out while both Turians are still alive. As soon as the echo of the last shot fades away they meet to talk.



"Hey, Youngling, I have an offer for you. We are a good team and if you want to get your hotspur under control, we could work together some more. There are more of those things out there."
"Gunmen for longer?" Hotspur asks.
"Gunmen for longer! You are in?"
Hotspur nods: "Good, first drink is on me."

I whole-heartedly endorse this product or service










Carry on.

I love Turians because they are natural CALIBRATORS.

Also, I really like their interactions and partnership with the Volus.

Fat Turian Sentinel allows no Abomination to explode in his face.



Seriously though: what happened? Is it a side effect of Overload or were those all really headshots?

"Blaze" mode settings in files. Also gives them a minor speed boost (20%, iirc) for, uh, 3 seconds. My mods buff this for double speed (200%) for 5 seconds. They also have a 40% base movement speed increase on my mod. NOBODY outruns my Abombs.

Four Fat Birds vs. Toasters in a Sandstorm




An all Turian team kicks some toaster arse on HDagger... Thanks to muahmuah, @boatinhovic and the great pizza lover , vastator!

Well, that was efficient.

Come on, DF! Why do u feed the obvious troll? If you really want to answer that young padawan it’s the usual 1v1 Thunderdome on Redjohn’s host... You bring the TSent/Arc Pistol and he can bring whatever.

Moar Turian awesomeness...


Thanks to muahmuah, @boatinhovic and The Biotic Trebuchet! 

Two turian duos with muahmuah  (Thanks for the games, Doc!): one fat (featuring two soldiers), one non-fat (featuring a saboteur and a havoc) ...