What did you do today in ME?

So I did the party the other day and discovered something I'd never heard before. Unlike usual, I went with the energetic theme. While everyone was dancing, there was a small throw away line that I really liked.

While those fuckin nerds are listing elements at a party:
Garrus(I think) "69-"
Jack "In your dreams!"
Traynor "Shepards dreams, more like."

It was nice to have someone actually acknowledge their relationship, there was no where near enough interaction between squadmates in the trilogy.

I finished Mordins Loyality mission and Talis too. I'm glad, we didn't have to shoot through the Flotilla, I would have felt bad, but of course it ended with shooting again. I was really looking forward to make a brilliant case forTali and then Shepard has only to make two arguments to not only save Talis reputation, but kept her fathers secret? That was not, what I wanted from that quest, I'm really dissapointed . I thought, you have to gather evidence and make a good case like in KOTOR, when you have to defend the old jedi in your group - a bit more Sherlock Holmes please.

And I got Thanes Loyality mission - can it be, the guy is Edward Cullen with less glitter and more scales? I find him really annoying, I think, he and Miranda will stay benched. The rest of the team is interesting though

Cute picture with Janei and Mordin - she convinced Mordin to keep the data and tryto find a cure for the genophage after the Collectors are dealt with

WARNING! LONG POST.

Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...



Barbie: How am I, doc?

Dr. Chakwas: Physically, you're fine. I just need to make sure you are not suffering any mental effects from the blast, such as short-term memory loss.

Barbie: How am I, doc?

Chakwas: You just asked that.

Barbie: Asked what?

Chakwas: How you were.

Barbie: How am I?

Chakwas: You're fine.

Barbie: Who's fine?

Chakwas: You are.

Barbie: I'm what?

Chakwas: God dammit!

Barbie: God damned what now?

* * *

Udina: The council has agreed to meet with us. Just whatever you do, don't mention Shepard's vision. Got it?

Anderson: Got it.

Salarian councilor: The evidence is shaky at best.

Anderson: What about Shepard's vision?

Udina: You arsehole!

Asari Councilor: This meeting is adjourned.

Saren: So I didn't even need to be at this meeting?

* * *

Barbie: So you're the Shadow Baker!?

Barla Von: No. I am an agent of the Shadow Broker.

Barbie: Well that's disappointing.

Barla Von: I buy and sell information.

Barbie: Oh that's so cool! Can I sell you some information?

Barla Von: Sure! What information do you have?

30 minutes later...

Barbie: ... and that's why my mom no longer wears pants!

Barla Von: (wimpering) please get out of my office.

* * *

Wrex: Hey I know you. You're Shepard.

Barbie: You're a dinosaur!

Wrex: No, I'm a Krogan.

Barbie: You look like a turtle that walks on its hind legs!

Wrex: I think I'd rather be called a dinosaur.

* * *

Thug, holding Dr. Michel: Who are you!?

Barbie: I saw this in an old movie once! Shoot the hostage!

Garrus shoots, kills the thug.

Garrus: Dammit, I missed!

* * *

Fist: Please don't kill me, I surrender!

Barbie: Where's the Quarian?

Fist: She's in a dark alley not far from here. Just turn left after leaving Chora's Den.

Barbie: Thanks Mister Fister!

Fist: Please don't call me that.

Barbie: Hey! If you had a sister, she would be called Sister Fister!

Fist: Please stop.

Barbie: And on games night, Mister and Sister Fister could play Twister!

Fist: I changed my mind. I unsurrender. Somebody kill me!

Wrex: As you wish!

* * *

Turian Councilor: Wow! This untested, unexamined, and uncorrobated evidence is irrefutable! Saren is a traitor and will be dealt with.

Udina: Send your fleet after him!

Salarian Councilor: He's in the Terminus Systems. That would start a war.

Barbie: Ooh! I know! Make me a Spectre!

Turian Councilor: No.

Barbie: Please?

Salarian Councilor: No.

Barbie: Please?

Asari Councilor: No.

Barbie: Please?

Councilors: No.

Barbie: Please?

Councilors: No.

Barbie: Please?

Councilors: NO!!

Barbie: Please?

Asari Councilor: Oh for the love of the Goddess, fine! You're now a Spectre!

Barbie: YAY!

There is a glitch with Quorra that I forgot to mention. During the Prologue, when Anderson says (I'll paraphrase as much as I can) "Every minute these machines are here, thousands of innocent people die," and when she responds (either paragon or renegade) her head completely disappears when it cuts to the close up camera angle of her when she is speaking (making her point about not saving them all). The only thing appearing in the close up is her hair. This glitch happened twice. Once two years ago, and again two days ago. I hope it's not because of the size of her head/face. If so, I'll be very upset. Looks like I'm stuck with the graphical error (even though it's just a few seconds), because I refuse to change her facial structure in any way. Again, it's only a few seconds. Doesn't happen again in the game. I initially shrugged it off, I guess. I'm just worried that when the time comes for her to be recorded for YouTube, viewers will never let go of that few seconds in the comment section...

I think I'm the only person with this issue. There's no mention of this from anyone else...

No. I only recently installed the mods. It also happened 2 years ago (when there were no mods installed). Maybe the game didn't expect me to be so extensive in her creation. As you can see from the images I posted, she had this face in all three games (Fun Fact: The older version of Quorra was created in ME2 with the Genesis Comic). I mean, the way she is now is thanks her first created years earlier. Two years ago I recreated her face using low-res screenshots of the older Quorra (low-res, because that was all the internet had left of her after I shared pictures online, then deleted them). Still, recreating her wasn't a walk in the park either. I guess they're 98-99.9% identical, I'm sure of it. At least, I hope so. The older Quorra is looong gone. This Quorra is here is here to stay. 


I could see this in a more positive sense. Maybe the glitch happens in that one shot, because Quorra is the only Shepard who looks like her, as far as I'm concerned (like a reminder), especially if I'm the one person who has this few-second-glitch. If there are other Shepards who look identical to her, I don't want to know. I'm not doubting it, though. I just don't want to know.

The only thing different about Quorra in ME3 is her hair and makeup ( I darkened her hair and makeup, because they seemed brighter than the previous games). I shortened her hair for artistic reasons. Most character in different installments of a franchise change their hair overtime. 

Anyway, 50-100 hours outweigh a few seconds. I'm not changing her facial features--like jaw & eye shape (thereby disrupting continuity for the character herself)--because of a glitch that only lasts a few seconds and never appears again.

Karen Shepard, Soldier, ME3 cont'd:

Citadel: Retake the Normandy

As Joker went to retrieve the rest of the crew, Commander Shepard, Liara T'Soni and Tali'Zorah battled the CAT6 troops guarding the Normandy dock. The ship was already preparing to leave, so they had to move fast if they wanted to prevent the Shepard Clone from stealing the frigate along with the Commander's identity.

At the airlock they ran into Samantha Traynor, who was irate at having been kicked off the ship by “Commander Shepard”. She was even more baffled when another Shepard showed up wanting to know what was happening.

They calmed Samantha down, explained the situation, and looked for a way into the ship. CAT6 had everything sealed up, but they were able to pick the lock on an emergency hatch with the help of the eezo core from Samantha's fancy toothbrush. It was a lucky break she loved that thing so much she made sure to grab it as she was being dragged of the ship.

They cleared out the CAT6 troops in the CIC, but Fake Shepard had apparently gone down to the cargo bay to suit up – the final confrontation was close. Before heading down they were able to rescue Shepard's beloved Space Hamster, who had been cruelly thrown in the trash. Now it was personal.

They took the elevator down to the cargo bay, and found the other Commander Shepard in N7 armour, alongside Brooks, and the fight began. The Normandy had taken off, but Steve and Joker were using a skycar to block the ship's path and prevent it from going to FTL. CAT6 launched a shuttle to try and take out the skycar, and the open cargo bay door made the fight even more chaotic.

Brooks and the impostor put up a good fight, but in the end they were no match for the team that had taken down Saren. The two Shepard's ended up fighting hand to hand near the edge of the open cargo bay door, and almost fell out. It was at this moment, as they hung on for dear life, that the clone decided to have an existential crisis, asking the real Commander “what makes you so damned special? Why you and not me?”

The answer quickly came when Liara and Tali rushed to pull Shepard back onto the safety of the ship, while Brooks skulked away like a rat deserting a sinking ship. Shepard had friends who cared about and helped her, whereas the clone just had people trying to use her to further their own agenda – first TIM, then Brooks.

Shepard extended a helping hand to the clone – despite everything, she didn't hate her doppelganger, and wanted to help if she could – but the clone had evidently decided there was no point, let go of the ledge and fell to her death over the Wards.

They returned the ship to the Citadel docks. EDI was back online, and Brooks was put in handcuffs to be taken into Alliance custody. Despite her failure, she taunted Shepard, all the while squirming around like she had ants in her pants, clearly trying to extract herself from the restraints. Shepard reminded her that any escape attempt would be bad for her health, and she seemed to reconsider and accept her fate. Tali's verdict on Brooks: “Bosh'tet.” Well said.

The whole crew was reunited on the docks, and Shepard promised them some real shore leave, without any more firefights (hopefully). Joker had the idea to throw a party, so Shepard told him to begin preparations. It would take a while to coordinate everyone's schedules, but there was lots to do in the interim anyway. Shepard generally wasn't much of a party animal, but she was looking forward to this one.

Yesterday, Spectre Barbara "Barbie" Shepard toured the Citadel...


Kaiden: Can we go back to the Normandy, now? My feet are killing me.

Barbie: Ha ha, you're such a wimp! No, we haven't even finished touring this ward yet, and we still have five more to go! Plus I haven't seen the rest of the Presidium! And then we have to eat, then go shopping, then hit a club! Oh this is so awesome! The Citadel is amazing!

Ashley: How... do you have... so much energy?

Barbie: Oh look! Another concerned citizen! Let's go see if she needs some help!

Kaiden: No, please, no more. I can't take any more.

Barbie: Hello ma'am. You look troubled. Do you need some help?

Woman: Well, I seem to have lost my---

Barbie: Don't worry ma'am, we'll find it for you!

Woman: But I haven't even told you---

Barbie: Come on team! Let's go find it! We still have another 2000 Keepers to scan!

Kaiden: Shoot me now.

Yesterday, Barbara "Barbie" Shepard finally took command of the Normandy. Things soon spiraled out of control like you would expect...


Kaiden: Look, it's Kahoku's men!

Barbie: Gesundheit!

A Thresher Maw emerges from the ground.

Barbie: It's a giant space worm!

Tali: It's a Thresher Maw. Be careful.

Barbie: I like Hentai!

Kaiden: I didn't need to know that.

* * *

Barbie: In case you haven't noticed, this whole place is coming down!

Krogan Battlemaster: I know. Exhilarating, isn't it?

Kaiden: If we're lucky, it will collapse and kill us all!

Liara: What? I just got rescued! I want to live!

Kaiden: Trust me. Stick with Shepard long enough and you will want to die, and DEATH WILL NOT COME!

Wrex: At least we get to kill a lot of people along the way.

Kaiden: Can you kill me?

Wrex: No. You still have plot armor.