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Post by obbie1984 on Jun 11, 2018 4:18:51 GMT
I had something happen to me in ME2 that has never happened to me in many playthroughs of ME2. I was playing my Adept. And in Tali recruitment mission, Kal Reegar... died. I was a bit surprised because this has never happened to me. I felt despite being an Adept and having only Miranda to take care of shields, I got through it pretty fast for insanity. But he died and I have no idea why. I have taken a longer time with other classes before. Not sure what was different here. Only difference is I took Miranda and I never take her for this mission. But this time I did because she's the romance. Also, in ME3, I gave Ashley the ADAS. That girl is mean with that gun. She shoots it so fast. It just feels like she's a goddess firing thunderous lightning at her enemies. Even though sometimes... she just shoots the cover she is on and not the enemies.
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jun 11, 2018 11:39:41 GMT
Shepard Log 9Udina: I demand you send 63 flotillas, 9 fire trucks and Chuck Norris to arrest Saren! He must scrub floors every night in all restaurants on Citadel to make up for his crimes! Council: uh huh For a puny, non-contributing civilization you sure make lots of demands. Do you know how much money Chuck Norris will ask for? Udina: Let's just make Shepard a Spectre and you won't have to pay Chuck Norris. RedCaesar97 and adonniel Now Chuck Norris versus Barbie Shepard - I'd pay money to see that. You would die before the fight ever ended. (SPOILER: The fight would never end)
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melbella
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Trouble-shooting Space Diva
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: melbella
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Post by melbella on Jun 11, 2018 12:37:36 GMT
I had something happen to me in ME2 that has never happened to me in many playthroughs of ME2. I was playing my Adept. And in Tali recruitment mission, Kal Reegar... died. I was a bit surprised because this has never happened to me. I felt despite being an Adept and having only Miranda to take care of shields, I got through it pretty fast for insanity. But he died and I have no idea why. I have taken a longer time with other classes before. Not sure what was different here. Only difference is I took Miranda and I never take her for this mission. But this time I did because she's the romance. Also, in ME3, I gave Ashley the ADAS. That girl is mean with that gun. She shoots it so fast. It just feels like she's a goddess firing thunderous lightning at her enemies. Even though sometimes... she just shoots the cover she is on and not the enemies.
Did you tell Reegar to stay in cover or let him help? If the latter, and you take too long to kill the Colossus, he'll die.
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Post by themikefest on Jun 11, 2018 12:48:53 GMT
The only way Reegar dies is if the player takes too long to deal with the Colossus. Even when I chose to follow Reegar's plan, he survived
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2018 22:49:46 GMT
Shepard Log 10
Garoth and Admiral Kahoku: Cool! A person of influence. Time dump our problems on the new Spectre.
Wrex looking like he just punched a black hole in space: YOU!! DID YOU JUST TAKE AWAY MY CHANCE TO MOOSH SOME GUY INTO FINE EAR WAX?
Kaidan: Is this going to end like the bar fight?
Wrex: Bar fight? I LOVE bar fights! I'll pay you to come with you and I'll beat you until you become tax deductible if you don't agree.
Shepard with divine music playing in the background: I'll call you Wrecks.
Wrex: I AM Wrex!
Shep: Wanna see my new Krogan Assault Rifle?
Samesh: I hate to interrupt your weaponry drooling, but there are lunatics working for the government who abduct bodies.
Ashley: OMG! You're that guy whose wife from my military unit used to play home videos about! How did you manage to get two ferrets inside your pants?
Shepard: Heeelloooo... hellloooo! I didn't really count but there are about seven at the bar....
Clerk: Seven what?
Shep: Bodies of course! I've been told you collect bodies. Now if you check the back alley as well....
Samesh two minutes later: I got my wife's body back even if I had to listen to lots of embarrassing stories about myself.
Emily: That's awesome how you got Fist's files! Someone can make a fortune just following you around and describing how you brush your teeth.
Shep: Would you like to do an interview about that? I love interviews! I can also show you my shoe collection...
Udina: I have a plan how you're going to do all the work and I'll boss you around. Benezia has a daughter who digs old ruins and we found pigeon droppings on Noveria. Gotto know why Saren was skulking about.
Shep: Won't I need a ship?
Udina: You can have Anderson's ship.
Shep: What about Anderson?
Udina: I have a nice job reserved for him. An office next to the bathroom at the back of the ventilation system. It has a desk, lots of papers, dust and some ink.
Anderson: Don't I at least get a modern pen?
Udina: We're on a budget. Sacrifices must be made. Now get going and don't you dare screw up or I'll look stupid.
Shepard making abbreviation notes: screw up udina look stupid
Joker: So... instead of Anderson you're in charge now? Not that it sounds like any sort of accusation, complaint, goodbye to sanity...
Shepard: Is this the main comm system? poke poke Helloooo? Can anybody hear me? Who wants to know why Saren blew up our favourite sandwich stand on Eden Prime? Let's find the toilet plug he's looking for and boldly eat lunch where no man ate lunch before!
Pressley: Why did I spend most of my life being told that shooting aliens is good only to end up on a ship filled with them?
Shep: Without aliens who's going to help us get out and push if the ship runs out of fuel?
Pressley: Out of fuel? Wait... does that happen to you often?
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jun 12, 2018 2:08:56 GMT
From the weekend, Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Barbie: What the hell are you doing, Zaeed!
Zaeed: Opening the front gate.
Barbie: Thanks to you, we now have a burning refinery to save.
Zaeed: Let these people burn. I only want Vido!
Barbie: Look, I like cannabilism as much as the next guy---
Garrus: Nobody likes cannabalism.
Barbie: -- but we can't let these people burn to death!
Garrus: Please tell me you're not into cannabilism.
Barbie: Of course not. What gave you that idea?
Garrus: Your phrasing.
Barbie: Sorry, poor choice of words.
Garrus: Thank the spirits.
Barbie: But vore does turn me on.
Garrus Dammit!
Zaeed: Is there anything that doesn't turn you on?
Barbie: (thinking) Feet?
* * *
Zaeed: You just wasted twenty years of my life!
Barbie: How is it my fault?
Zaeed: You let him get away!
Barbie: He was getting away before we got here.
Zaeed: You lectured the workers for ten minutes about fire safety!
Barbie: It seemed appropriate, given the situation.
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Post by themikefest on Jun 12, 2018 15:52:35 GMT
We head to the Cerberus base. I'm still in shock after what I saw on Horizon. I decided not to go with the Commander to the base. I learned that the Citadel was moved to Earth and that's where we needed to be. My lover is on the Citadel. I hope he's ok. I managed to talk with themikefest. He and his staff are in a safe spot just outside of London. He said Admiral Anderson and his men have been scouting the area.
As we head to Earth, I notice the Commander walking around making sure everyone is ok. I was surprised when she and Samantha hugged. Are they....? Well done Commander. I guess the Commander figured the only way to beat Samantha at chess is to bed her.
As we head to London, I couldn't help shed a few tears. The Commander gave me a hug.
When we landed, we were attacked right away. Ashley and Javik were attacking the uglies on one side while the Commander dealt with them on the other side. After the reaper looking Hades cannon thing was destroyed, a shuttle picked us up. At the forward operating base, I saw themikefest. He looked ok, but tired. He and his staff were helping some of the wounded. He told me was looking forward to may story once the reapers are destroyed. There's a lot to tell, but for now, the reapers had to dealt with.
So, this is it. We get to the beam, open the arms and the reapers will be destroyed. That sounds easy in my head. We face a lot of the uglies. We fire the missiles destroying the reaper. I have to say it was really good seeing that thing destroyed.
Something happened. We get out and see a giant looking reaper land near the beam. Crap. I watch as the Commander, James and Ashley run to the beam. Many are killed by the red beam being fired from the reaper. What? I see the Normandy head to the beam. I run as fast as I can just in time to see the Commander helping Ashley up the ramp. The Commander tells me to get on the ship.
About an hour later, I see something reddish looking coming from the Citadel. Joker gets us out of here in a hurry. What about the Commander?
Somehow we ended up on some planet. Not sure if it was done purposely or what. Later I se everyone standing by the wall with all the names on it. Why is Admiral Anderson's name on there? How do they know he's dead? I see Samantha with the Commander's nameplate. She doesn't put it up.
As we leave the planet heading to Earth, I would guess, I'm left with several questions that need answers. Are the reapers destroyed? Is the Commander ok? And what about Admiral Anderson? This story is far from over.
So ends my weaponless trilogy run. It took me longer than I thought to complete ME3. I do have another ME3 playthrough planned that will take about a day or two to complete. I will use this character again in a new game plus.
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Post by obbie1984 on Jun 12, 2018 22:24:30 GMT
I had something happen to me in ME2 that has never happened to me in many playthroughs of ME2. I was playing my Adept. And in Tali recruitment mission, Kal Reegar... died. I was a bit surprised because this has never happened to me. I felt despite being an Adept and having only Miranda to take care of shields, I got through it pretty fast for insanity. But he died and I have no idea why. I have taken a longer time with other classes before. Not sure what was different here. Only difference is I took Miranda and I never take her for this mission. But this time I did because she's the romance. Also, in ME3, I gave Ashley the ADAS. That girl is mean with that gun. She shoots it so fast. It just feels like she's a goddess firing thunderous lightning at her enemies. Even though sometimes... she just shoots the cover she is on and not the enemies.
Did you tell Reegar to stay in cover or let him help? If the latter, and you take too long to kill the Colossus, he'll die.
Regardless of character, gender, personality alignment, etc, I always choose the "good luck Reegar, lets go shoot some Geth." I've had an instance as Vanguard where I took a really long time to kill the colossus and he said "get your ass up there Shepard, I can't keep it down forever." But then he says things like "burn you bastard" or "piece of crap is repairing itself." Only in this Adept run did he die. After he told me to get up there, he kind of just grunted and died. And I didn't think I took that long. I certainly was faster than my insanity Vanguard run. But I usually play Engineer/Sentinel so that part is actually pretty easy for me.
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Post by xassantex on Jun 12, 2018 23:58:34 GMT
finished my Paragon ME3 yesterday, which was not coherent with ME2 where i went Renegon. anyway. Played a modded ending so , no TIM, no Anderson and no brat.( wish it had kept TIM ). Just had to bid farewell to Marauder Shield, take the "beam me up Scotty" , walk among corpses, almost a corpse myself, get to a console, push some buttons, any buttons and oh , it's an arm opener. Then EDI took control, she is a Reaper minus after all, lifted the magic carpet and i dragged myself along that big church alley to celebrate Reaper Mass and shoot that big pipe ( don't read anything into this) . game over.
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Post by obbie1984 on Jun 13, 2018 2:09:07 GMT
I also have to admit I was wrong about two things. Infiltrators and Ashley. I was convinced for the longest time that Infiltrators are boring and Ashley is not a useful squadmate in ME. For infiltrators, both in ME2 and ME3, I took energy drain as the bonus power and I made his power damage more powerful than the weapon damage. This way, he plays more like an engineer who is still good with guns. The class is a lot more fun this way than playing it as a straight gun damage class.
For Ashley, for the longest time I was convinced her romance was bad in ME3. But I am finding quite a few nuances about her that are really endearing me towards her. Ashley and Obbie Shep are actually quite nice together. Also, I thought her powers and her class didn't make her worth using. And there was no reason to use her when James existed. Now its the opposite, I never use James if Ash is there. She goes well with a lot of classes. I find she works really well with Engineer, Sentinel, and Infiltrators. Vanguards too. She is actually making ME3 campaign fun again for me because I feel she goes well with me. I just wish Bioware didn't screw over Ash/Kaidan fans by having them sit out for a good chunk of the game. Even in ME1, I was finding quite a few uses for her besides just the romance.
I always liked her, but she has gone up a lot for me as of lately. Top 5 favorite character easily.
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jun 13, 2018 2:44:41 GMT
From the weekend Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Virtual Intelligence: Local flora causes neural decay.
Barbie: Huh. (takes bite of native fruit)
Jacob: Did you just do what I think you did?
Barbie: What? I'm hungry.
Mordin: Hmmm. Neural decay in Shepard would present fascinating study.
Jacob: Would we even notice?
Barbie: (takes another bite of fruit) Notice what? Oh hey cool, a Virtual Intelligence! What does this button do?
VI: Local flora causes neural decay.
Barbie: Hey guys, have you seen this? This is so cool! (takes another bite of fruit) Oh hey! A Virtual Intelligence!
Jacob: (annoyed) Great.
* * *
Ronald Taylor: You're here! I knew a real squad would blow through just fine.
Barbie: Fruuuuuuit.
Ronald: Uh, what?
Barbie: Fruuuuuuuuuuuuuit!
Mordin: Shepard eating local fruit, experiencing rapid neural decay. Not affecting her combat skills. Combat skills surprisingly improved. Fascinating.
Jacob: Really? I hadn't noticed.
Barbie: Ronald, baaaaaaaad. Jacob, gooooooood.
Ronald: Jacob? No, not Jacob!
Jacob: Why not me?
Barbie: Why you? Why me? Whyyyyyyy? (giggles)
Jacob: (pulls gun on his dad) So what do we do with you?
Barbie: Leeeeeave hiiiimmm to meeeeee.
5 minutes later...
Ronald: Please, I can't take any more of this. No more, no more!
Mordin: Death too swift. Recommend calling in Alliance, arresting him for crimes.
Ronald: Yes! That! Anything to get me away from this crazy woman!
Barbie: Not crazy! Just nuts! (laughs) Nuts! (laughs harder) Nuuuuuuuts!
Other survivors: Please keep her away from us as well.
(admittedly, not that great, but I am trying to get what I did on the weekend posted in a timely manner)
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MegaIllusiveMan
N3
I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: MegaIllusiveMan
PSN: MegaIllusiveMan
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Post by MegaIllusiveMan on Jun 13, 2018 3:47:59 GMT
From the videos I mentioned:
You can prompt Tali, which gives you two new line of dialogues, instead of going straight to Veetor after defeating the YMIR Mech.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2018 13:55:30 GMT
*bites fruit*
Your inspiration is back!
I need some of that fruit for the best fanfiction re-reading purposes.
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jun 13, 2018 23:08:19 GMT
*bites fruit*
Your inspiration is back!
I need some of that fruit for the best fanfiction re-reading purposes.
Stupid me, though. I had the idea today: what if neural decay made Barbie more pleasant to work with? Too late to go back and change it now
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2018 2:18:38 GMT
Stupid me, though. I had the idea today: what if neural decay made Barbie more pleasant to work with? Too late to go back and change it now Then it wouldn't be Barbie.
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Post by themikefest on Jun 14, 2018 13:50:45 GMT
Completed ME3. The reapers came to Earth. Shepard traveled all over the galaxy to get help. Went back to Earth. Destroyed reapers.
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Post by Wildfire on Jun 15, 2018 15:15:02 GMT
A few days ago I picked up my third PT of the ME trilogy I had completed ME1 back in last summer, and now I'm continuing from ME2. Nothing too exciting happening yet, just recruiting my first crew members and hanging around the Citadel. Tried flirting with Jacob once, and it was so awkward! Using a headmorph to recreate ME3's default femshep in ME2. Here are some screens: With Garrus: Fooling around for some reason: A nice shot: Another nice mug shot: We will see how the mission will progress in the coming days
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jun 15, 2018 23:20:06 GMT
I still to finish writing the last mission I played for Barbara "Barbie" Shepard. But in the meantime, here's this...
(Jacob and Garrus are in the living quarters, trying to sleep)
Garrus: Jacob, are you awake?
Jacob:
Garrus: Jacob? Jacob?
Jacob:
Garrus: JACOB!
Jacob: What!?
Garrus: Are you awake?
Jacob: I am now. What do you want?
Garrus: I can't sleep.
Jacob: Well, try to go to sleep.
Garrus: I've been thinking--
Jacob: Well there's your problem.
Garrus: --what will happen when Barbie hits Menopause?
Jacob: (now wide awake and sweating)
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Post by Son of Dorn on Jun 15, 2018 23:34:24 GMT
I still to finish writing the last mission I played for Barbara "Barbie" Shepard. But in the meantime, here's this... (Jacob and Garrus are in the living quarters, trying to sleep) Garrus: Jacob, are you awake? Jacob: Garrus: Jacob? Jacob? Jacob: Garrus: JACOB! Jacob: What!? Garrus: Are you awake? Jacob: I am now. What do you want? Garrus: I can't sleep. Jacob: Well, try to go to sleep. Garrus: I've been thinking-- Jacob: Well there's your problem. Garrus: --what will happen when Barbie hits Menopause? Jacob: (now wide awake and sweating) What happens when Barbie hits menopause? Answer:run like Hell to your nearest fallout shelter and seal up the only entrance to the shelter.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2018 13:18:07 GMT
Shepard Log 11
Everyone's teeth are clattering loudly because they're stuck inside Maco.
Kaidan: Aren't we the space faring civilization that has flying vehicles and stuff. How come we're using wheels to drive over every single bump on this forsaken rock?
Shep: We're suppose to avoid bumps?
Kaidan: N-n-n-n-n-n-next time I'm driving.
Ashley: There's a fake distress beacon with a bunch of marine corpses around it. I think those are the Admiral's men.
Kaidan: Totally not a trap. Let's approach them as quickly as possible.
Thresher Maw: Breakfast!
Shep: WooooW!! Someone quick take a picture while I pose next to it!
Climbing out of the Maco in a hurry, Shepard accidentally steps on the rockets launchers and blows up the critter.
Shep: Noooo!
It's minus 500 degrees and a blizzard.
Geth toaster 1: What a lousy place for an ambush. I'm freezing my circuits off.
Toaster 2: Do you see anything?
Shepard taps one on the back: Excuse me, friendly fauna, we're looking for the Majesty's crew.
Toasters 3 and 4: Kill them!
Ashley 30 mins later: Look, a cozy bunker surrounded by cannons and a satellite dish.
Mercenary 1: Who turned off the TV signal? I wasn't done watching Ghost Busters.
Shep walks in and shakes some leftover cannon remnants from her boots.
Merc 2: Maybe we should let these pass?
Kaidan: Hey, there is Capt William's body and a data pad next to it.
Merc 1 looking over Shepard's shoulder: What does it say?
Shep: If you're reading this, shoot the merc behind your back...
Geth 1 badly imitating distress signal: pssshh.. pwdzt... pshh.. we need help!
Geth 2: You suck at this. Who would fall for a trap like that?
Shepard: So.... which one of you needs rescuing?
Planet 1: Your electronics skill is too low.
Planet 2: Your electronics skill is too low.
Planet 3: Your electronics skill is too low.
Shepard: Why do I have to drag around the wimpy and unsexy helmet head to unlock these?
Shepard back on the station: Sorry everyone, everyone you sent me to find is dead. Now... to go shopping.
Marlan supplies: I just had this weirdest spike creep up my spine.
Conrad: Commander! There you are! I found a spare battery!
Shep: Awesome! I found 37 new guns! I need lots of pictures with each!
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N3
I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: MegaIllusiveMan
PSN: MegaIllusiveMan
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Post by MegaIllusiveMan on Jun 16, 2018 22:31:40 GMT
Back to the game after a long time.
Had to chat up with the crew, since the I done Therum last. First batch of pictures will be Liara's, since she talks a lot
Williams and Pressly too, but they have an additional reason.
And she never did
Liara talks about the Asari
Meme time! After comparing the university's quiz answers with the smartest person of the classroom.
Shepard assumes direct Control
Teasing the innocent Liara
When you get angry at your pet, start complaining, but feel bad afterwards
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jun 17, 2018 17:34:23 GMT
I have not had much of a chance to play Mass Effect this weekend, and may not get to play it at all. But I did manage to finish writing what I completed last week, so here is another entry for Barbara "Barbie" Shepard... Mordin: Hm. Krogan Hospital. Sturdy, built to withstand punishment. Jacob: I always hated hospitals. Barbie: I like hospitals. Jacob: You like-- Barbie: Lots of bedpans. Mordin: Don't understand. Jacob: I don't want to know. Barbie: I scoop poop. Jacob: I don't want to know. Barbie: I paint with poop. Jacob: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! Barbie: I also paint with--- Jacob: PLEASE STOP! Barbie: ---menstrual blood. Jacob: (wimpering) I said stop. Barbie: Oh hey, a dead body! Let's look at it! Jacob: Please don't tell me you're going to do something depraved with that corpse. Barbie: I am not depraved. Jacob: Could have fooled me. Barbie: But I'd totally watch someone else do it. * * * Weyrloc Speaker: You have shed our blood, offworlders. But the speaker of Clan Weyrloc has given you leave to flee. Barbie: Look, just give us Maelon and we'll leave. Weyrloc Speaker: (launches into monologue) Barbie: Uhhhhhh, so bored. Hey! Who wants to hear me rap? Everyone: NO!! Barbie: (raps anyway) Weyrloc Speaker: (shoots the tank beneath him to set himself on fire) Sorry, no rap lyrics. I thought about trying to write a (cringey, terrible) rap, but decided it was better left unwritten. I don't think I could do it justice.
I originally got hung up on how I wanted the Weyrloc Speaker interaction to go. Here is a tangent I started, but scrapped because it was overly long and meandering and was not heading to where I wanted it to go (namely, the Speaker setting himself on fire).
Weyrloc Speaker: You have shed our blood, offworlders. But the speaker of Clan Weyrloc has given you leave to flee.
Barbie: If I do that, I might trip over the dozen Krogan I killed to get here.
Jacob: Two.
Barbie: Two dozen Krogan? That many?
Jacob: No. Two Krogan.
Barbie: Then what were the species with the flamethrowers?
Jacob: Those were Vorcha.
Barbie: No, the Vorcha were the ones with the crappy pistols.
Jacob: They were both Vorcha.
Barbie: What about the ones with the missile launchers?
Jacob: Also Vorcha.
Weyrloc Speaker: Do you not know the difference between the mighty Krogan and the lowly Vorcha?
Vorcha sidekick: Rrrrrrah!
Barbie: Of course! Krogan are the big lizard-like things, and the Vorcha are the ugly Siamese Cat-like
things.
Vorcha: Rrrrrrrah!
Barbie: But for a Krogan territory, there seem to be a lot more Vorcha than Krogan.
Weyrloc Speaker: This is Blood Pack territory!
Barbie: Yeah, but this other Krogan I met said only Krogan are true Blood Pack. Funny, I sure seem to fight a lot of Vorcha when taking on the Blood Pack. I mean, if you can't even get enough Krogan in a Krogan merc gang, what does that say about the Krogan?
Weyrloc Speaker: The Krogan are the most feared warriors in the galaxy?
Barbie: Is that because you keep surrounding yourself with Vorcha? You seem a lot more fierce when surrounded by species my blind Grandmother could take on.
Vorcha: Rrrrrrah!
Barbie: I mean, I get the Varren. Including nasty attack dogs is pretty cool.
Jacob: But aren't Vorcha like smarter Varren?
Vorcha: Rrrrrah!
Mordin: Hmm. Vorcha use guns, Varren bite. Wait, Vorcha bite too. Scratch that.
Weyrloc Speaker: Well are you going to fight or flee?
Barbie: Can get Varren get fleas?
Mordin: Yes, but fleas not native to Tuchanka. Tuchanka has flea-like creatures, but nastier.
Barbie: Can Krogan get fleas?
Mordin: No. Fleas burrow in hair. Krogan have no hair.
* * *
I also wanted to write a Maelon interaction with Barbie, but did not know where to take it. So I left it out and came up with what I think is a better idea. * * * Mordin, in a message to Maelon: Maelon, letting you know that Barbie Shepard kept the data. Too busy to use it right now, but will look at it later. Am sending you data on Barbie Shepard, will send you samples later. Shepard very enthusiastic about providing samples. Request that you use data and samples to research methods for sterilizing Shepard. Shepard procreating could be problematic. My research has yielded poor results. Hope you do better. Fortunately, everyone currently united against reproducing with Shepard, but numbers not on our side. General consensus among species is that Shepard is "bat-shit crazy", to borrow human expression. Regards, Mordin.
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jun 17, 2018 22:49:56 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
EDI: Solar output has overwhelmed Haestrom's magnetosphere. Exposure to direct sunlight will damage your
shields.
Barbie: You hear that? We get to fight the freaking sun!
Miranda: It's official. She's totally lost it.
Garrus: Did she ever have it?
Barbie: Come on, let's go!
Miranda: Maybe if we're lucky, we'll roast to death.
Garrus: My skin protects me from small amounts of solar radiation. If only I could be so lucky.
* * *
Tali: Hello, is anyone there?
Barbie: I'm here, Tali!
Tali: Shit! I mean,... uh,... shit.
Barbie: Don't worry, I'll get you out of here, and then you can join my crew!
Tali: (desperately fiddling with the controls) Sorry, the door is locked and you can't get in. You will
have to find another route to get to me. Preferably by turning 180 degrees and walking the other way around
the planet. Very slowly.
Barbie: Ha ha! I always loved your sense of humor. See you in a few minutes! (leaves)
Tali: Maybe if I turn the air off in here I can suffocate to death before she gets to me.
* * *
Barbie: You got a plan?
Kal'Reegar: Just one. I'm not moving so well, but I can still pull a trigger, and I've got a rocket
launcher that the sun hasn't fried yet. You move in close. I'll keep the colossus busy, maybe even drop its
shields. With luck, you'll be able to finish it off.
Barbie: Good plan, except for the part about you shooting rockets. You might kill something before I get
chance to kill it. So how about you stay here while I turn the little robots into scrap metal?
Kal'Reegar: Are you insane?
Garrus: Yes she is.
Barbie: Great! See you in a few minutes! (runs off)
Kal'Reegar: Seriously, is she insane?
Garrus: I already answered that question.
Geth Colossus: Target identified. Target confirmed as Barbara Shepard.
Rest of Geth: aasdfjerltijodjasdklfjlf!
* * *
Barbie: Hi Tali!
Tali: (not enthusiastic at all) Oh hey, you made it. Great.
Barbie: Now you can come with me!
Tali: I can't. I have to bring the data back to the migrant fleet.
Kal'Reegar: Don't worry about it. I'll take the data back for you. You're free to join the commander.
Tali: Please don't do this to me. I'm begging you!
Kal'Reegar: Consider she saved our lives, the fleet owes her. Lending you to her team seems like a good
reward.
Tali: Reegar, please!
Kal'Reegar: With your tech skills and her combat skills, the galaxy doesn't stand a chance. You did great
last time when you were on her squad.
Tali: (sobbing) No, anything but that.
Kal'Reegar: I think the commander just killed every last Geth on this planet, so i should be okay getting
back to our shuttle. I'll let the fleet know you went with the Commander!
Barbie: This is going to be great! You're going to love the new Normandy!
Tali: I want to die.
* * *
Tali: Barbie, Cerberus,... could this get any worse?
Jacob: Don't forget to introduce yourself to EDI, the ship's Artificial Intelligence.
Tali: I want to die.
Barbie: Not until I get you to read the My Little Pyjak fancfiction I have been writing! It's a musical!
Tali: I want to die.
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Post by Son of Dorn on Jun 17, 2018 22:55:00 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard... EDI: Solar output has overwhelmed Haestrom's magnetosphere. Exposure to direct sunlight will damage your shields. Barbie: You hear that? We get to fight the freaking sun! Miranda: It's official. She's totally lost it. Garrus: Did she ever have it? Barbie: Come on, let's go! Miranda: Maybe if we're lucky, we'll roast to death. Garrus: My skin protects me from small amounts of solar radiation. If only I could be so lucky. * * * Tali: Hello, is anyone there? Barbie: I'm here, Tali! Tali: Shit! I mean,... uh,... shit. Barbie: Don't worry, I'll get you out of here, and then you can join my crew! Tali: (desperately fiddling with the controls) Sorry, the door is locked and you can't get in. You will have to find another route to get to me. Preferably by turning 180 degrees and walking the other way around the planet. Very slowly. Barbie: Ha ha! I always loved your sense of humor. See you in a few minutes! (leaves) Tali: Maybe if I turn the air off in here I can suffocate to death before she gets to me. * * * Barbie: You got a plan? Kal'Reegar: Just one. I'm not moving so well, but I can still pull a trigger, and I've got a rocket launcher that the sun hasn't fried yet. You move in close. I'll keep the colossus busy, maybe even drop its shields. With luck, you'll be able to finish it off. Barbie: Good plan, except for the part about you shooting rockets. You might kill something before I get chance to kill it. So how about you stay here while I turn the little robots into scrap metal? Kal'Reegar: Are you insane? Garrus: Yes she is. Barbie: Great! See you in a few minutes! (runs off) Kal'Reegar: Seriously, is she insane? Garrus: I already answered that question. Geth Colossus: Target identified. Target confirmed as Barbara Shepard. Rest of Geth: aasdfjerltijodjasdklfjlf! * * * Barbie: Hi Tali! Tali: (not enthusiastic at all) Oh hey, you made it. Great. Barbie: Now you can come with me! Tali: I can't. I have to bring the data back to the migrant fleet. Kal'Reegar: Don't worry about it. I'll take the data back for you. You're free to join the commander. Tali: Please don't do this to me. I'm begging you! Kal'Reegar: Consider she saved our lives, the fleet owes her. Lending you to her team seems like a good reward. Tali: Reegar, please! Kal'Reegar: With your tech skills and her combat skills, the galaxy doesn't stand a chance. You did great last time when you were on her squad. Tali: (sobbing) No, anything but that. Kal'Reegar: I think the commander just killed every last Geth on this planet, so i should be okay getting back to our shuttle. I'll let the fleet know you went with the Commander! Barbie: This is going to be great! You're going to love the new Normandy! Tali: I want to die. * * * Tali: Barbie, Cerberus,... could this get any worse? Jacob: Don't forget to introduce yourself to EDI, the ship's Artificial Intelligence. Tali: I want to die. Barbie: Not until I get you to read the My Little Pyjak fancfiction I have been writing! It's a musical! Tali: I want to die. Poor Tali, I really do feel for her.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2018 0:49:05 GMT
Shepard Log 13
Garrus: Hey look, a device that disrupts signals and causes innocent ships to crash.
Shep: I thought it was a gumball machine and shot it because it didn't give me candy.
Tali: Pries another lock open and gets kicked out of the party with Garrus.
Shep: Eeeeek! It's a bunker full of nasty, growling husks!
Wrex: Hey Shepard, how about some shooting?
Shep: Nobody move. I dropped my grenades belt! Kaidan: Don't tell me I'm standing on a grenade.
Shep: Nope. A husk next to you is.
Kaidan: I'm going to need some healing after this.
Shep: It's your lucky day! I'm the doctor!
Wrex: It's true. Her file says: sentinel.
Kaidan jumps up without unity and runs ahead: I'm alive! I'm alive! Please don't heal me!
Shep: I'm a motivational leader.
Wrex three Cerberus bunkers later: Lots of assholes dead. That's my type of mission.
Shep: Dammit! They shot the maintenance guy for my foot massage tub!
Wrex: At least they left behind the porn collection.
Shadow Broker Rep: The Admiral gave us IOU note regarding the valuable info you got from the Cerb bunker.
Shep: You mean the porn?
SBR: SB never tells me what he watches. We'll give you a free spa certificate for it.
Shep: Nah.
SBR: A tour to Wanderland? Five billion galactic credits?
Shep: I like what I've got more.
SBR: Give us the porn!
Shep: It's my porn now.
SBR: The boss will remember this!
Shep: You can't do anything about this, can you.
Blackmailer: Give me your toothpaste, a set of lock picks and fuzzy house slippers.
Dr Mich: I got this under control, giving away all med supplies to blackmailers so my shady charity past doesn't come to light.
Kaidan: Why am I wearing a pink armour suit like Ashley's?
Wrex: Shut up. I like mine.
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