What did you do today in ME?

Played a bit of ME3 today. Got Michael to Menae but then the interest wavered off as I realized Garrus was dead. While we aren't the best buds, it feels kinda empty without him when playing after a long break. Need to do more poking around to get familiar with combat before moving onto plan Whip It. 

And then the usual nonsense. No pic's just rambling. 

As I mentioned early on this thread, my project is still on: Record all dialogue variations when Paragon/Renegade options are available.

One of those is the Batarian Bartender at Lower Afterlife. It also includes an extra dialogue with Jacob about Forvan's story.

- Variations:
 *Paragon: Ogrinn shoots him.
 *Renegade: Make him drink it.
 *Neutral: Let him go.

Shepard Log 14

Morlan pointing at Krogan: OMG! It's You! I mean. It's HIM! He did it. He's the blackmailer.

Krogan BM: Leave it to idiots to screw things up.

Shep: Leave it to idiots to steal candy from babies and their medical supplies.

Krogan BM: wth I'm out of here. That's against my code, which Banes didn't tell me. I charge way more for stealing candy from babies.

Shep: Who is Banes?

Morlan: Dr Mich knows.

Dr Mich: Anderson knows.

Anderson: Kahoku knows.

Wrex: You mean that dead guy from the Cerb bunker?

Shep: I knew I should have started this conversation with shooting.

Conrad: I have a GREAT idea!

Kaidan: To pour shampoo into your ears?

Conrad: We can join forces! I can be the second human Spectre!

Shep: But who will complete my picture catalogue then? It should take you only twelve more years.

Conrad: Good point. I'll go home and make my wife happy by telling her about this important task.

Requisition Officer: Let me open the special Spectre stock for you.

Wrex: She's not moving. Should I hit her with a piano?

Kaidan: I think she's stuck in the happy sunshine and cloud land.

Noveria Approach Control: Normandy, identify yourselves and then go away.

Joker: The last 77 times we've heard that line, we did not go away.

Matsuo: Just because you've landed doesn't mean I won't tell you to hold it right there.

Shep: Why? Do I have gum on my shoe?

Stirling: You'll have a bullet in your brain unless you hand over your guns.

Shep: Dang and I hoped I could peel blueberry bubble gum off my shoe and chew it.

Parasini: You can let them in with their guns, Stirling. It's not like they're going to shoot you.

Ashley: It sounds like you need an Asari lawyer around here to be allowed to fart or the corporate organisations will bury you.

Parasini: Pretty much. If you're looking for an entirely non-suspicious Asari Matriarch who travels with the commando bodyguards so armed to the teeth that even their guns have guns, and carries a box so secret that our scanners can't penetrate it, then she went to Peak 15.

Opold: This one wants you to do some smuggling.

Shep: This one obliges after you show me a human size mirror and every item you're selling.

Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...


Admiral Raan: And remember, an accused is always defended by their ship's captain.

Tali: So... Shepard will be speaking for me?

Barbie: Oh hell yeah!

Tali: This isn't good.

Barbie: I got this! I've seen enough lawyer movies to know what I'm doing!

Tali: You don't know what you're doing.

Barbie: Come on! Let's get you off the hook!

Tali: I'm as good as exiled.

...

Admiral Raan: We are here to render judgement on the charges against Tali vas Normandy.

Barbie: Objection!

Raan: There's nothing to object to.

Barbie: I object!

Raan: You're out of order!

Barbie: No YOU'RE out of order! This whole court is out of order!

Raan: Shepard, stop it!

Barbie: You can't handle the truth!

Raan: Commander, if you can't take this trial seriously--

Barbie: But I am taking it seriously!

Raan: Then could you please act like it?

Barbie: Objection!

Admiral Korris: I move that we consider Commander Shepard in contempt of court.

Barbie: I move that we consider YOU in contempt of court!

Raan: Order! Order!

Barbie: I recommend a 20-minute recess.

Raan: We haven't even started!

Barbie: Your honor, my client pleads not guilty. She wasn't even home on the night of the murder!

Raan: This isn't a murder trial!

Barbie: It was her evil twin!

Raan: She's an only child.

Barbie: My client is merely the product of a broken system!

Admiral Han Gerrel: I object!

Raan: Will you people stop objecting to things that aren't objectionable!

Admiral Korris: I object!

Raan: Stop it, all of you!

Barbie: I declare a mistrial!

Raan: You can't do that!

Other admirals: We find the defendent Not Guilty.

Raan: We haven't even had the trial!

Han Gerrel: I just want to fight Korris.

Barbie: Nailed it!

Not to mention a fairly accurate account of the actual "trial."

Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...


Batarian Guard 1: My feet are killing me.

Batarian Guard 2: That's because you just keep standing there. For like, hours on end.

Barbie: Hey guys! Do you know where you guys are holding Dr. Kenson?

Batarian Guards: Intruder!

Barbie: (looking around) Where?

* * *

Dr. Kenson: This is Object Rho.

Barbie: You just keep it out here in the open? Kenson, this is not good.

Kenson: Give it a moment. You will have your proof soon enough.

Barbie: (gets vision)

Reaper 1: Commander Shepard is using one of our artifacts!

Reaper 2: Then indoctrinate her!

Reaper 1: I'm trying! Her mind is extremely hard to crack.

Reaper 2: Well try harder!

Reaper 1: I'm craving Cheese Dogs.

Reaper 2: You're craving--- you're a machine! You can't crave food!

Reaper 1: Oh my god, turn it off! Turn it off!

Reaper 2: I can't turn it off! There's no OFF switch!

Reaper 1: (singing) Old MacDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O!

Reaper 2: Activating object defenses! Abort! ABORT!

(Object Rho lets out a giant pulse)

Barbie: Ow!

* * *

Project worker: We've kept Shepard sedated for nearly two days now, but we've had to constantly keep upping

the dosage exponentially. The last dosage would have been enough to kill a herd of elephants, but it just

made Shepard yawn.

Barbie: Good morning, Sunshine!

Worker: AAAAAH!

* * *

Project VI: Welcome to Project Control.

Barbie: I want to activate the project!

Project VI: Warning. Activating the Project will result in an estimated three hundred and five thousand

casulties.

Barbie: That seems tame by my standards.

Project VI: Do you wish to continue?

Barbie: Hit it! (fusion torches activate) WOOOO! Ride'm cowboy!!

Kenson: Shepard, no! Do you have any idea what you've done?

Barbie: Hell yeah! I'm about to slam an asteroid into a Relay! Big explosion! My kind of mission!

Kenson: Fuck you! I'm going to destroy this asteroid.

Barbie: No! You will not deprive me of my big explosion!

* * *

Kenson: You've ruined everything! I can't hear the whispers anymore.

Barbie: Whispers? All the Reapers did was scream in my ear. "No more" they said. "Shut up" they said.

"Please don't hurt us" they said. Buncha whiners if you ask me.

Kenson: I'm taking us both down! (detonates bomb)

Barbie: OW!

Barbie: (waking up later) Dammit, my one weakness: explosions! How did she know?

* * *

Collector General: Shepard, you have become an annoyance.

Barbie: So everyone keeps saying. I don't get it.

* * *

Barbie: Hi guys, I'm back! Did you miss me?

Jacob: Uh, no?

Miranda: Not really.

Joker: You were gone?

Kasumi: It felt great to walk around the ship instead of hiding in my room.

Zaeed: I usually hate quiet, but it was a good quiet.

Thane: Your absense was appreciated.

Mordin: Lots of free time to experiment. Request that you go away more often.

Samara: My meditations have never felt so meaningful.

Tali: Actually, you're better off not knowing.

Garrus: I was too busy calibrating to notice.

Jack: Fuck off.

Grunt: We're out of food.

Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...


Samara: Why did you take us aboard this derelict Reaper?

Barbie: Because no one else wanted to come.

Mordin: Correction. No one wanted to come.

Barbie: Oh come on, it'll be fine!

(The Reaper shudders)

Joker: The Reaper put up kinetic barriers. We can't get through from our side.

Mordin and Samara: (angry stares)

Barbie: This is exciting! Let's go!

* * *

Geth platform: Shepard-Commander. (walks away)

Barbie: I WANT THAT!

Samara: More husks incoming!

Mordin: Many husks. Like Zombie apocolypse.

Barbie: Time to put my zombie plan in motion! Shoot them all!

Samara: That sounds familiar.

Barbie: Well to be fair, that's pretty much my solution for everything.

* * *

Geth Platform: Shepard-Commander.

Barbie: Hello cool robot.

Geth Platform: We oppose the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines.

Barbie: Cool! Want to join my crew?

Tali: Please don't...

Geth Platform: Yes.

Barbie: YES!

Tali: No...

Barbie: Oh cheer up, Tali. What have the Geth ever done to you?

Tali: (stares daggers from Shepard behind her helmet)

Barbie: Exactly! Nothing! So Mr. Robot, what do we call you?

Geth Platform: Geth.

Barbie: That sounds dumb. How about Mr. Roboto? Or Roboman?

EDI: My name is Legion, for we are many.

Legion: We are Legion.

Barbie: Ugh. You robots are so lame with names. How about Killbot?

Legion: We are Legion.

Barbie: Can it be short for Legion Killbot?

Poor Legion and the Heretic Geth, no one deserves that treatment.

Shepard Log 15

Mallene: Snubbing people is the best way to get help from them. Hey you there, give yourself a favour, approach that man and hack his tool while pretending to be the buyer.

Shep: Buyer? I love buying! What am I buying?

Mallene: Express interest in Binary Helix.

Shep: Is that a new brand of salami?

Mallene: No!

Shep: Pizza? Grilled Sandwich? Raspberry Jellies?

Mallene: It's not edible!

Shep: Meh... not buying it.

Lorik: Don't mind me in the corner. I'm just managing the bar while the corrupt Administrator's hired thugs ransack my office to destroy the evidence which incriminates him.

Shep: Can I help you?

Lorik: Yeah, go shoot the thugs and bring me the evidence.

Shep: I meant with the booze, but that works too.

Inamorda: Piss off or I'll drink your blood with cinnamon.

Shep: Is that an orgy invitation?

Inamorda: No, a ticket to the reading club.

Shep: In that case, I gtg deliver this smuggled package to the jellyfish man.

Inamorda: Wait, I'll pay you for the package and tell you about our previous orgy.

Wrex: I like where this is going.

Shep reading: Dear Doc. They're onto you. Evacuate immediately.

Kaidan: Does she read anything aside from the illegally obtained correspondence?

Wrex: Candy wrappers.

Litnirax: Not to discourage anyone from travel, but there is a blizzard at Peak 15 that can turn your ass into ice cream in seconds.

Shep: Great! I can lick Kaidan's ass.

Kaidan: Wait! We can't go! We don't have the garage pass!

Shep: I bet this guy has the pass.


Kaidan: Phew... she bought it.

Shepard Log 16

ERCS corrupt guard: Hold it right there!

Shep: All I want are the documents from that computer to put the guy paying you into jail.

ERCS: Then we don't get paid! DIE!

Wrex reloading his shotgun: There went your chance to pretend being the girl scouts selling cookies.

Stirling: Cop killers! Prepared to be shot, hung and then given a wedgie!

Shep: Isn't it hanged?

Kaidan: No, the laundry gets hanged. I think they just want to hang as in lynch you.

Stirling: The laundry gets lynched for all I care. Just get them!

Wrex reloading his guns: There went their chance as well.

Parsini: None of my business why so many bodies are lying around. Wanna meet me at the bar so I can take advantage of you?

Shep: I'll bring fuzzy handcuffs after I pay the long delayed visit to the Administrator.

Five mins later.

Shep: Hey, have you seen Saren?

Administrator: You mean the deeply respected investor around here unlike nobody such as you? By the way, you owe me a trillion credits for wasting two minutes of my life.

Matsuo: Weird how nobody showed up for the garbage cleaning duty at lunch. Did you shoot some of my people?

Shep: Do you mean the fake girl scouts?

Matsuo: How many times do I have to tell them not to take side jobs.

Para: Allow me to re-introduce myself. I'm Bond. James Bond.

Shep: OMG! I love JB! Can I put ice cubes into your Martini?

Para: I want you to get Lorik to testify instead.

Lorik: Hey Spectre, did you do as I said?

Wrex: No. But she wants you to do as she says. You're testifying.

Anoleus: Hey, the Spectre I am mistaken for a low pay employee at whom I can yell, I demand you arrest this agent dragging me off to jail!

Shep: James Bond says you're under arrest and that I don't owe you a trillion credits any longer.

Parasini: Here's your pass.

Kaidan flops on the floor: Oh the pain! I can't go on. My hair roots hurt, I have Vorcha chicken pox, amnesia and I need a nap.

Shep: A nap sounds serious. I'll take Ashley instead.

Ash: I hate you Kaidan.

Wrex: Ready for butt licking? I mean kicking.

Ash: I hate you both.

Are you talking about when Morinth seduced a village and convinced them to give their daughters to her? Daughters Morinth then sent to attack Samara? What was the actual option here? It wasn't Samara just tearing through villagers in her way. She was actually under attack.

This isn't really a surprise.  She was also willing to kill the asari detective if she was detained for more than a day.  According to her, that's how the code works.  I suspect the same is true of how she handled the villagers attacking.  To her mind, she's adhering to a code, even if some things she does are uncomfortable.  In fact, the reason she swore an oath to Shepard was to curb her behavior will in his/her service.