dmc1001
N7
Biotic Booty
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
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Post by dmc1001 on Jun 30, 2018 13:50:23 GMT
This isn't really a surprise. She was also willing to kill the asari detective if she was detained for more than a day. According to her, that's how the code works. I suspect the same is true of how she handled the villagers attacking. To her mind, she's adhering to a code, even if some things she does are uncomfortable. In fact, the reason she swore an oath to Shepard was to curb her behavior will in his/her service. That's all well and good. I don't like or agree with her code. But if that's how it has to be for her, fine. But don't judge my character then. Especially when she isn't a bad person by any stretch. Its bad writing in general, but it makes Samara less likable for that. I'm not saying I agree with Samara, just that it's her code. I'm also not judging your character. I don't judge people who kill Kaidan, let the genophage continue or who play low EMS and get everyone killed. I was merely pointing out why she does what she does. Obviously, if you're doing RP, you're character is going to have certain opinions about things done by squadmates. I actually thought you were giving a personal opinion about Samara rather than your Shepard's opinion. Perhaps I didn't read carefully enough. |
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Post by obbie1984 on Jun 30, 2018 22:27:36 GMT
That's all well and good. I don't like or agree with her code. But if that's how it has to be for her, fine. But don't judge my character then. Especially when she isn't a bad person by any stretch. Its bad writing in general, but it makes Samara less likable for that. I'm not saying I agree with Samara, just that it's her code. I'm also not judging your character. I don't judge people who kill Kaidan, let the genophage continue or who play low EMS and get everyone killed. I was merely pointing out why she does what she does. Obviously, if you're doing RP, you're character is going to have certain opinions about things done by squadmates. I actually thought you were giving a personal opinion about Samara rather than your Shepard's opinion. Perhaps I didn't read carefully enough. I might have typed that wrong. I didn't say you were judging my character. I mean Samara judges her. And lol, that's an interesting way to look at it. I keep Kaidan alive on 90% of my playthroughs (sorry Ash, you're great, but Kaidan is a better character), I cure the genophage only if Wrex is around (definitely don't do it if Wreav is alive and Bakara is dead), and low EMS is fun to see what happens, but its not my ideal playthrough. But I do prefer having casualties along the way even if that sounds wrong. It feels more realistic to me. I recently did an ME2 run where Shep, Miranda, and Garrus were the only survivors. Miranda was the bae in that run, so the us surviving made it so they value each other more. Don't worry, Kaidan is alive in that run.  I can't wait to see the utter devastation I can do with Miranda/Kaidan in the Armax Arena. But yeah, I am role playing my femshep, and I'm sure she doesn't appreciate what Samara says. My personal opinion of Samara is she is a useful squadmate, but I don't like her as a character. I can definitely see why others would like her especially if they play mainly paragon or paragade characters. I just wish there was a better way for the game to distinguish between an actual dbag or cruel commander and one that is just strict. It would alleviate at least one of the issues I have with Samara. |
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 1, 2018 21:13:37 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Barbie: Okay, so here's the plan. We'll split into two teams -here- and -here-, then rendevous -here-. While we fight, we'll need someone to sneak through this ventilation shaft to unlock the doors.
Jacob: Sounds like a suicide mission. I volunteer.
Garrus: No, I volunteer.
Miranda: No, I do!
Samara: Allow me to volunteer.
Thane: I could do it.
Jack: Fuck you, I'll do it.
Barbie: Legion, I want you to do it.
Legion: Fuck.
Tali: I didn't know the Geth could swear.
Legion: Being in close proximity to Shepard-Commander has degraded this platform's ability to acquire knowledge and value self preservation. An analogy, you organics have a saying: "I hate my life".
* * *
Barbie: Can we use biotics to protect us from the seeker swarms?
Samara: I could generate a biotic field that would protect us from the swarms.
Miranda: I could do it too. Any biotic could do it, in theory.
Jacob: That means I could do it. Or Thane.
Mordin: I could do it.
Barbie: You don't know biotics.
Mordin: I could try really hard.
Barbie: Jack, I want you to do it. Samara and Mordin, you're coming with us as well.
Chakwas: What about us, Shepard. We are in no shape to fight.
Barbie: I'll send someone to escort you back. Tali, you're useless on this mission. Go back with the crew.
Tali: (stares daggers at Shepard)
Miranda: Who should lead the second fire team.
Barbie: You're loud and annoying, Miranda. You would be a great distraction!
Miranda: (stares daggers at Shepard)
Barbie: All right! Sis boom bah, let's go team!
* * *
EDI: If my readings are correct, the structure is a Reaper.
Barbie: I WANT THAT!
Mordin: Advise against. Reaper constructs very dangerous.
Barbie: I want to turn it into a giant mech!
Jack: That sounds badass, actually.
Mordin: Please do not encourage Shepard.
* * *
Illusive Man: Shepard, wait! EDI forwarded me the schematics. A timed radiationn pulse could destroy the Collectors, but leave the Base intact!
Barbie: What color would be the explosion?
Illusive Man: I don't understand.
Barbie: What color... is the explosion?
Illusive Man: Green.
Barbie: Ew. I prefer an orange fireball. Light 'em up!
(Reaper Larvae returns)
Barbie: It's back! GIVE MOMMA A HUG!
Jack: Dammit Shepard, it's trying to kill us! Shoot it!
Barbie: BUT I WANT THE BABY!
Mordin: Shepard, lives more important than Reaper construct. Please destroy!
Barbie: No fair! I hate you all!
(destroys Reaper, Reaper falls and breaks platforms, platforms fall)
Barbie: (falling on the platform) Wheeeeeeeeee! THIS IS BETTER THAN DISNEYLAND!
* * *
Illusive Man: I am not happy.
Barbie: Did you see that? It was awesome!
Illusive Man: No, I did not see 'that', whatever 'that' was.
Barbie: Big fiery explosion! It was big and orange and red and lots of fire!
Illusive Man: We could have used that base to fight the Reapers!
Barbie: I know how to fight Reapers! Just need to create bigger explosions! Barbie loves explosions!
Illusive Man: Did you just refer to yourself in the third person? And aren't you vulnerable to explosions?
Barbie: BARBIE LOVES EXPLOSIONS!
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Post by Son of Dorn on Jul 1, 2018 21:19:08 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard... Barbie: Okay, so here's the plan. We'll split into two teams -here- and -here-, then rendevous -here-. While we fight, we'll need someone to sneak through this ventilation shaft to unlock the doors. Jacob: Sounds like a suicide mission. I volunteer. Garrus: No, I volunteer. Miranda: No, I do! Samara: Allow me to volunteer. Thane: I could do it. Jack: Fuck you, I'll do it. Barbie: Legion, I want you to do it. Legion: Fuck. Tali: I didn't know the Geth could swear. Legion: Being in close proximity to Shepard-Commander has degraded this platform's ability to acquire knowledge and value self preservation. An analogy, you organics have a saying: "I hate my life". * * * Barbie: Can we use biotics to protect us from the seeker swarms? Samara: I could generate a biotic field that would protect us from the swarms. Miranda: I could do it too. Any biotic could do it, in theory. Jacob: That means I could do it. Or Thane. Mordin: I could do it. Barbie: You don't know biotics. Mordin: I could try really hard. Barbie: Jack, I want you to do it. Samara and Mordin, you're coming with us as well. Chakwas: What about us, Shepard. We are in no shape to fight. Barbie: I'll send someone to escort you back. Tali, you're useless on this mission. Go back with the crew. Tali: (stares daggers at Shepard) Miranda: Who should lead the second fire team. Barbie: You're loud and annoying, Miranda. You would be a great distraction! Miranda: (stares daggers at Shepard) Barbie: All right! Sis boom bah, let's go team! * * * EDI: If my readings are correct, the structure is a Reaper. Barbie: I WANT THAT! Mordin: Advise against. Reaper constructs very dangerous. Barbie: I want to turn it into a giant mech! Jack: That sounds badass, actually. Mordin: Please do not encourage Shepard. * * * Illusive Man: Shepard, wait! EDI forwarded me the schematics. A timed radiationn pulse could destroy the Collectors, but leave the Base intact! Barbie: What color would be the explosion? Illusive Man: I don't understand. Barbie: What color... is the explosion? Illusive Man: Green. Barbie: Ew. I prefer an orange fireball. Light 'em up! (Reaper Larvae returns) Barbie: It's back! GIVE MOMMA A HUG! Jack: Dammit Shepard, it's trying to kill us! Shoot it! Barbie: BUT I WANT THE BABY! Mordin: Shepard, lives more important than Reaper construct. Please destroy! Barbie: No fair! I hate you all! (destroys Reaper, Reaper falls and breaks platforms, platforms fall) Barbie: (falling on the platform) Wheeeeeeeeee! THIS IS BETTER THAN DISNEYLAND! * * * Illusive Man: I am not happy. Barbie: Did you see that? It was awesome! Illusive Man: No, I did not see 'that', whatever 'that' was. Barbie: Big fiery explosion! It was big and orange and red and lots of fire! Illusive Man: We could have used that base to fight the Reapers! Barbie: I know how to fight Reapers! Just need to create bigger explosions! Barbie loves explosions! Illusive Man: Did you just refer to yourself in the third person? And aren't you vulnerable to explosions? Barbie: BARBIE LOVES EXPLOSIONS! Image if Barbie Shepard was host to the Carnage Symbiote... |
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 1, 2018 23:23:25 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard... <snip> Image if Barbie Shepard was host to the Carnage Symbiote... You should know this by now: the Carnage Symbiote would be the host to Barbie Shepard. |
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 1, 2018 23:24:09 GMT
Some bonus Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Tali: Come on, Shepard! We have to get back to the shuttle!
Barbie: No! I want to kill more mechs!
Legion: Discovered logs list 180 LOI mechs, and one YMIR mech. We have survided thus far, but our odds of remaining functional decrease the longer we remain outside the shuttle.
Barbie: Only 180? Pffft! I could kill twice that in my sleep!
Tali: She's not joking. I saw it at Pinnacle Station.
Barbie: How many have we killed so far?
Legion: We have terminated a dozen LOKI mechs, and the YMIR mech.
Barbie: Woooo! Only... (does math)... 168 mechs to go!
Tali: I hate this.
Legion: To quote the Normandy: "you are crazy".
Barbie: No, stupid! I am *batshit* crazy!
Tali: I hate this.
Legion: Going into sleep mode. Solitaire activated. Will rejoin you when all mechs are destroyed.
Tali: I hate you all.
(Yes, I really did stick around until I killed 180 mechs.)
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Post by Son of Dorn on Jul 1, 2018 23:59:23 GMT
Image if Barbie Shepard was host to the Carnage Symbiote... You should know this by now: the Carnage Symbiote would be the host to Barbie Shepard. Even worse. What if Carnage and Barbie Shepard became lovers and Shepard had offspring with Carnage that carry both of their personalities... |
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Post by Son of Dorn on Jul 3, 2018 0:17:28 GMT
I just going to announce that I have started on working on my Venom and Mass Effect crossover. And as a special treat for you fellow BSNers, I will be posting a teaser of:
Femshepard (with Garrus and Liara)
VS
Carnage (no, Kai Lame is not the host. I going to kill him off early because he sucks. Oh that's a spoiler, free of charge).
To any moders, can you tell how far I can go with writing that fight, because it is going to be a brutal fight and I don't know how far I can go with it (this is Carnage after all. So blood and guts will be spilled in that fight). Send it by PM or replying to this post.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2018 21:47:14 GMT
Shepard Log 17
Geth: Yo, this tank is ours! We've spent whole 30mins polishing it.
Shep: Whoops, I pulled the trigger before they checked tire pressure.
Mats: What did you do again?
Ash: What you should have done when Benezia packed a horde of geth into her oh so innocent cargo.
Mats: Oh shit. There must be a hundred of them running unchecked now.
Shep: Can I shoot them all with this spiffy tank?
Kaidan wakes up to the sound of explosions: Why am I here?
Ash: Wrex went to the bathroom and she didn't have the patience to wait.
Kaidan: Do you think she remembers about the licking plan?
Shep: Wheee! I found another grenade!
Ash: Sometimes bad memory is mercy.
Mira: This is artificial intelligence speaking. We're screwed.
Rachni: Rawr!
Shep throwing random objects: Eeek! Bugs! Yucky bugs!
Mira: Kindly squish a thousand more of those to get to the manual overwrite and fix me.
Ash: I don't think my eardrums will last that long.
System: Please insert 100 omni gel or use your brain to fix me.
Shep: Is it ok that I've traded the omni-gel for shoes?
Kaidan: Can I try it? I'd like to get out of here before I die of old age and then die of old age.
Shep: Nah. I got it.
Shepard starts crossing random blocks and singing loudly:
In a dark slimy tunnel, rachni bugs in my hair
Stinky smell of the chemicals, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
Stop breathing them in Kaidan said, your head is not right.
System: Hidden self-fixing system activated. You may proceed far away from me.
Shep: hmm This place doesn't use enough scent candles. Maybe a walk on the rooftop will make me feel better.
Ash: I've got a bad feeling about this one.
Five mins later Shepard cleaning the guts off her gun: Yep, totally better. Now I'm hungry. Cafeteria time.
Shep Five more mins later: Who's the merch unstoppable Gregor and did those bugs just eat my lunch?
System: Please enter decontamination chamber and hopefully don't come out.
Salarian Log: We're all gonna die! I'm gonna die! Well, I'm planning to shoot myself so I'm gonna die for sure.
Shep: Whoo! It's a train! Train! Do you guys see it! I wanna ride it!
Kaidan: Well... that's one method of transportation she hadn't crashed yet...
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 8, 2018 0:00:58 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
James: Commander, we have to go.
Barbie: Where to, you big, hunking Meat Man?
James: Please don't call me that.
Anderson: Shepard.
Barbie: Anderson.
James: Anderson.
Anderson: Who are you?
Ashley: (startled and suddenly frightened) Barbie!
Barbie: Ash! How are you?
Ashley: Suddenly very sick. I need to go.
Barbie: I should go.
Committee Guy: Our deep-space scanners have picked up something massive headed this way.
Barbie: An asteroid?
Guy: No--
Barbie: A planet?
Guy: No--
Barbie: A galaxy?
Guy: No--
Barbie: A black hole!
Guy: No!
Barbie: A bunch of those little cubes I jettisoned out of the Normandy when talking with Zaeed?
Guy: No-- what?
Barbie: That machine was really cool! I didn't know we had that much junk that could be compressed into
little cubes.
Female Officer: Incoming transmissions! (plays transmissions of Reapers arriving)
Committee Woman: How do we stop them?
Barbie: With lots of bullets! Just give me a gun and point me the right direction!
Reaper: (loud noises) IMMA FIRING MUH LASER!
Explosion!
Barbie: OW!
Anderson: Shepard!
Barbie: Explosions really hurt me!
Anderson: We need to get to the Normandy!
Barbie: Yay!
Later...
Anderson: Husks! Shoot them!
Barbie: (uses Concussive Shot)
Anderson: You haven't forgotten how to shoot, have you?
Barbie: Concussive Shot is more fun!
Anderon: Come on, let's go.
Barbie: Why did my gun suddenly run out of ammo? I never fired it!
Anderson: (seeing more husks) We're going to have to take them out the old-fashion way.
Barbie: Concussive Shot is old fashioned?
Reaper: MOAR LASERS!
Anderson: In here!
Barbie: Hey there, little guy. What are you doing in the vent?
Boy: I'm hiding.
Barbie: Hiding from what?
Boy: The big metal monsters!
Barbie: Where? (looks around, looks back to see the boy gone)
Anderson: Would you hurry up, Shepard! Let's go!
* * *
Anderson: Normandy, can you hear us? We need a pick up!
Ashley: We're on our way!
Anderson: I hope they get here soon.
Barbie: Why? (Cannibals drop in)
Anderson: We've got company.
Barbie: Concussive Shots for everyone!
Normandy drops in
Barbie: Oh come on, I was having fun!
Anderson: You go on ahead, I'm not coming.
Barbie: Why not?
Ashley: Please don't leave me with her.
Anderson: You've seen these people. They need a leader.
Ashley: Then give them Shepard. Please.
Barbie: I want to kill more Cannibals.
Anderson: The Reapers will be everywhere soon enough. Go to the Citadel and get the Council to help us!
Ashley: Isn't that Udina's job?
Anderson: Probably. Get going, that's an order!
Barbie: I don't take orders from you anymore, remember?
Ashley: That's right! Get off my ship!
Anderson: (throws dog tags to Shepard) Then consider yourself reinstated, Commander!
Barbie: All right!
Ashley: Oh no.
Barbie: Let's go lick some Reaper ass!
Ashley: Don't you mean 'kick' some Reaper ass?
Barbie: That too. Let's go!
James: How did I get here?
Joker: Message for you, Commander. It's Admiral Hackett.
Barbie: Patch him through.
Hackett: Shepard, Liara T'soni is at the Mars Archives. She thinks she found a weapon to stop the Reapers.
Go to Mars and get the data.
Barbie: Yes sir, Admiral Hanson, sir!
Hackett: (angry grunt)
Barbie: Joker, set a course for Mars.
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 8, 2018 2:01:09 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Barbie: Mars ahoy!
James: That's a huge storm.
Barbie: I've seen bigger.
James: Where?
Barbie: After a wing-eating contest. The aftermath wasn't pretty.
Ashley: That doesn't seem--
Barbie: And they were Hot wings. My ass was on fire. Still worth it.
James: What's that?
Barbie: A sniper rifle.
James: I meant the body.
Barbie: Dude's dead. Who cares?
James: (hearing gunshots) Holy shit! It's Cerberus! They're executing them!
Barbie: Killtacular!
James: Is she always like this?
Ashley: Yes.
James: How do you stand it?
Ashley: By abandoning all hope and drinking yourself to sleep every night.
James: Oh come on, it can't be that bad.
Barbie: Hey guys! I found an elevator! Who wants to press all the buttons!?
Ashley: It can be that bad.
Barbie: Hurry up! I need to find a bathroom!
Ashley: I told you to go before we left!
Barbie: I did! Then I drank another two bottles of soda because I was thirsty!
Ashley: What's that sound?
(Liara hops out of a vent, kills Cerberus goons)
Barbie: Liara!
Liara: (scared out of her wits) AAAAAAH! Shepard! Why are you here?
Barbie: Why are any of us here? A question posed by many philosophers and religions.
Liara: I meant, why are you here on Mars?
Barbie: Admiral Hamster sent us, said you found a weapon?
Liara: Yes, I found data about a Prothean project that appears to be a weapon. We should go get it before
Cerberus gets it.
Ashley: Cerberus is coming through that door!
Barbie: Get back to the shuttle, Meat Man!
James: Please stop calling me that.
Ashley: No! Send me instead. Please?
Barbie: Hmmm.... no.
Ashley: Dammit.
* * *
Barbie: Hey check out this cool gun I found!
Ashley: Where'd you find it?
Barbie: At that work bench. It's got lots of cool guns.
Ashley: Can you give me one of those guns?
Barbie: Hmmmm.... no.
Ashley: Dammit.
* * *
Illusive Man: Commander Shepard.
Barbie: Ill-Man!
Illusive Man: You have a habit of costing me more than time and money.
Barbie: Such as...?
Illusive Man: Peace of mind, minions,... (takes big swig of bourbon)... my liver.
Barbie: So what do you want?
Illusive Man: The data.
Barbie: Good idea! Then we can have TWO Reaper Killers!
Illusive Man: No! I don't want to destroy them. I want to control them!
Barbie: Like remote-controlled cars? That would take a lot of remotes. It would be easier if we just kill
them all. And more fun!
Illusive Man: I think not.
Ashley: (to Eva Core) Don't move!
Eva: (punches Ashley and escapes)
Liara: Don't let her get away!
Barbie: Quick! To the Barbiemobile!
Liara: She's faster than she looks.
Barbie: You sure? She looks pretty thin to me.
Liara: I said 'faster than she looks', not 'fatter than she looks'.
Barbie: Maybe your eyes are just slow.
Soon...
Eva: (hops in shuttle)
Barbie: Someone stop that shuttle!
James: I got this! (crashes into shuttle, Barbie dives out of the way)
Barbie: You almost hit me!
James: Sorry.
Barbie: Don't be sorry, that was awesome! Let's do it again!
Eva: (busts out of shuttle)
Barbie: (noticing that Eva is actually a robot) I WANT THAT!
Ashley: (gets beat down by Eva)
Barbie: (shooting Eva) Pew pew pew!
James: Ashley's hurt!
Barbie: Grab the robot! I'll grab Injured Girl.
James: We don't need a robot.
Barbie: I said, grab. The robot. Joker! Pickup, now!
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Post by dazk on Jul 8, 2018 2:12:25 GMT
Barbie: Admiral Hamster sent us, said you found a weapon? How will I ever be able to play MET again without thinking of Admiral Hackett as Admiral Hamster  |
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Trouble-shooting Space Diva
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: melbella
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Post by melbella on Jul 8, 2018 2:17:39 GMT
Barbie: Admiral Hamster sent us, said you found a weapon? How will I ever be able to play MET again without thinking of Admiral Hackett as Admiral Hamster  Hammy the Hamster will now be known as Admiral Hamster, in honor of Admiral....Hamster. |
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Post by dazk on Jul 8, 2018 2:19:58 GMT
Barbie: Admiral Hamster sent us, said you found a weapon? How will I ever be able to play MET again without thinking of Admiral Hackett as Admiral Hamster Hammy the Hamster will now be known as Admiral Hamster, in honor of Admiral....Hamster.  LOL How did I not make that association!!!!!!!! You mean I have to rename Boo???  Never, go for the eyes Boo, go for the eyes!!!!! I think you quoted that a long while ago on BSN melbella  |
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melbella
N7
Trouble-shooting Space Diva
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: melbella
Prime Posts: 2186
Prime Likes: 5778
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Post by melbella on Jul 8, 2018 2:32:31 GMT
Well, even admirals have first names: Admiral Boo Hamster. How's that?  |
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Post by dazk on Jul 8, 2018 2:35:56 GMT
Well, even admirals have first names: Admiral Boo Hamster. How's that? LOL yeah that'll work!!!!  |
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 8, 2018 21:35:21 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Barbie: (talking to the Citadel Council) We wouldn't come to you without a plan.
Liara: We have recovered plans for a Prothean device, capable of defeating the Reapers.
Barbie: Or at least capable of blasting my ass.
Liara: What is wrong with you?
Barbie: Nothing is wrong with me. Why do you ask?
Liara: Never mind.
Turian Councillor: Are you sure it can kill the Reapers?
Liara: I do.
Turian: Shepard?
Barbie: I believe we should try.
Liara: Thank you, Shepard.
Barbie: I also think we should also kill the Reapers.
Liara: Wait. Then what did you mean when you said we should try--
Barbie: Blasting my ass.
Liara: I should have known.
* * *
Diana Allers: Commander Shepard, I am Diana Allers from the Alliance News Network. I want to report on the war from your ship.
Barbie: That sounds awesome! Welcome aboard!
Allers: Great! I'll get my things and meet you aboard the Normandy.
Barbie: You won't regret it!
Narrator: She came to regret it.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2018 13:27:23 GMT
Barbie: Let's go lick some Reaper ass! Ashley: Don't you mean 'kick' some Reaper ass? Barbie: That too. Let's go! Now how do these two similar words constantly keep getting into the same sentence with butt.
Barbie: Admiral Hamster sent us, said you found a weapon?
Admiral HAMster. Shep approves. |
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Post by flyingsquirrel on Jul 9, 2018 18:37:12 GMT
Cured the genophage!
Mordin's quiet courage and determination has to be one of the more inspiring moments of the trilogy. Whatever ME3's problems, some of it is actually a refreshingly optimistic tale of people (and aliens and geth) being their best selves when it counts the most.
(Though I have to nitpick and wonder if he might have actually been able to escape in the time he spent singing about being the very model of a scientist salarian instead.)
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 10, 2018 2:41:25 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Liara: Researchers uncovered a Prothean artifact on Eden Prime. We need to recover it before Cerberus does.
Barbie: I remember Eden Prime.
* Begin Flashback *
Kaiden: Tore right through his shields. He didn't stand a chance.
Barbie: AAAAH! I stepped in shit! Gross gross gross gross!
* End Flashback *
Barbie: That was a bad day.
James: Do we know anything about this artifact?
Liara: Nothing. Hopefully it will help us with the Crucible.
Barbie: Or maybe it's Prothean porn!
Liara: What is it with you and porn?
Barbie: It's a great stress relief!
James: Right.
Barbie: It reminds me of my college days when I went by the stage name Chesty Topps.
Liara: Every time I think you've scraped the bottom of the barrel, you find more barrel.
Barbie: It's a bottomless barrel!
James: I can believe that.
Liara: (using a console) That's not possible! It's not a Prothean artifact; It's... an actual Prothean!
Barbie: Like a Collector?
Liara: No. He's been in stasis like the Protheans on Ilos.
Barbie: Like a popsicle?
RedCaesar97: How many times have I made a "Prothean popsicle" joke?
Barbie: Too many.
James: Who are you talking to?
Barbie: Red Caesar!
James: Who?
Liara: Ignore her. She does that sometimes.
Barbie: Okay, let's open the pod!
Liara: You want to lick it, don't you.
Barbie: No.
Liara: (stare)
Barbie: Okay yes.
Liara: Cerberus damaged the pod. We need to figure out how to open the pod without damaging it.
Barbie: (grabbing a crowbar) Way ahead of you!
Liara: *Without* damaging it.
Barbie: I'll be careful.
Liara: Put the crowbar down.
Barbie: Okay fine. (drops crowbar, picks up blowtorch)
Liara: BARBIE!
* * *
Liara: The pod has ended stasis mode. Let's open it up.
Barbie: (opens pod, licks the Prothean)
James: You actually liked it?
Liara: Are you surprised?
James: Well, yeah.
Liara: Fucking n00b.
Javik: AAH! Primitives!
Barbie: Where!?
Liara: I think he means us.
Barbie: Who you calling 'Primitive', bub?
Javik: Let me read you. (touches Barbie) I now have many regrets.
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Post by Son of Dorn on Jul 10, 2018 2:49:05 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard... Liara: Researchers uncovered a Prothean artifact on Eden Prime. We need to recover it before Cerberus does. Barbie: I remember Eden Prime. * Begin Flashback * Kaiden: Tore right through his shields. He didn't stand a chance. Barbie: AAAAH! I stepped in shit! Gross gross gross gross! * End Flashback * Barbie: That was a bad day. James: Do we know anything about this artifact? Liara: Nothing. Hopefully it will help us with the Crucible. Barbie: Or maybe it's Prothean porn! Liara: What is it with you and porn? Barbie: It's a great stress relief! James: Right. Barbie: It reminds me of my college days when I went by the stage name Chesty Topps. Liara: Every time I think you've scraped the bottom of the barrel, you find more barrel. Barbie: It's a bottomless barrel! James: I can believe that. Liara: (using a console) That's not possible! It's not a Prothean artifact; It's... an actual Prothean! Barbie: Like a Collector? Liara: No. He's been in stasis like the Protheans on Ilos. Barbie: Like a popsicle? RedCaesar97: How many times have I made a "Prothean popsicle" joke? Barbie: Too many. James: Who are you talking to? Barbie: Red Caesar! James: Who? Liara: Ignore her. She does that sometimes. Barbie: Okay, let's open the pod! Liara: You want to lick it, don't you. Barbie: No. Liara: (stare) Barbie: Okay yes. Liara: Cerberus damaged the pod. We need to figure out how to open the pod without damaging it. Barbie: (grabbing a crowbar) Way ahead of you! Liara: *Without* damaging it. Barbie: I'll be careful. Liara: Put the crowbar down. Barbie: Okay fine. (drops crowbar, picks up blowtorch) Liara: BARBIE! * * no* Liara: The pod has ended stasis mode. Let's open it up. Barbie: (opens pod, licks the Prothean) James: You actually liked it? Liara: Are you surprised? James: Well, yeah. Liara: Fucking n00b. Javik: AAH! Primitives! Barbie: Where!? Liara: I think he means us. Barbie: Who you calling 'Primitive', bub? Javik: Let me read you. (touches Barbie) I now have many regrets. Don't we all Javik. |
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 10, 2018 3:02:01 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Admiral Hackett: We've uncovered a Ceberus Lab where they are studying Reaper tech. We want you to infiltrate the facility and take any Reaper samples you can find.
Barbie: Yes sir!---
Hackett: Don't say it.
Barbie: ---Admiral Hamlet sir!
Hackett: God dammit.
* * *
James: That's Reaper tech, all right.
Barbie: Ah good! The whispers are back!
Liara: Uh, Barbie?
Barbie: Well it's more like whispered yelling. All I hear is "Oh god, it's her again! How do I sever the link? She'll corrupt us all! Please help me! Help me!" You know, stuff like that.
Liara: Maybe,... maybe we should shield this tech better.
Barbie: I am the Vanguard of your destruction!
Liara: Uh, Shepard?
Barbie: I am totally using that line in my next erotic novel.
Liara: Shepard...
Barbie: I'll use it right before--
James: I'm heading back to the shuttle.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2018 17:44:34 GMT
Javik: Let me read you. (touches Barbie) I now have many regrets. Amateur. 
Go figure why they died out. No self-preservation instinct. |
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Post by Son of Dorn on Jul 10, 2018 19:25:28 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard... Admiral Hackett: We've uncovered a Ceberus Lab where they are studying Reaper tech. We want you to infiltrate the facility and take any Reaper samples you can find. Barbie: Yes sir!--- Hackett: Don't say it. Barbie: ---Admiral Hamlet sir! Hackett: God dammit. * * * James: That's Reaper tech, all right. Barbie: Ah good! The whispers are back! Liara: Uh, Barbie? Barbie: Well it's more like whispered yelling. All I hear is "Oh god, it's her again! How do I sever the link? She'll corrupt us all! Please help me! Help me!" You know, stuff like that. Liara: Maybe,... maybe we should shield this tech better. Barbie: I am the Vanguard of your destruction! Liara: Uh, Shepard? Barbie: I am totally using that line in my next erotic novel. Liara: Shepard... Barbie: I'll use it right before-- James: I'm heading back to the shuttle. Why do they need the space magic battery to beat the Reapers? Just link Barbie Shepard to their minds. |
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dmc1001
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Post by dmc1001 on Jul 12, 2018 4:40:51 GMT
Despite still having to finish my Twins Shepard run (which is in ME3 during the Citadel DLC), I'm continuing the ME1 run I started when away from home without my laptop. It's another John Shepard who is an Adept, Earth-born and Sole Survivor. To date, Jenkins died, got knocked out by the Prothean beacon and got Reaper visions, had the Council ignore the testimony of a dock worker even though Saren was referred to by name, recruited Garrus (taking out some idiots bothering Dr. Michel), recruited Wrex (who killed Fist) and saved Tali from Fist's thugs. Used that evidence to proven Saren was a traitor and became a Spectre. As per usual, the Council ignored talk of the Reapers by both Matriarch Benezia AND Shepard's vision (which, you'd think, would be collaborating evidence). Met Conrad Verner and gave him my autograph, with a future promise of him buying me a drink.
Also acquired a few side missions (think I screwed up Emily Wong's since I forgot to pick up the intel off of Fish - unless it was in his safe). Scanned some Keepers, promised to look for some guy in the Traverse, and said I'd help out Kahoku in finding his missing marines. He'd tried to get help from the Council but being their usual asshole selves couldn't get an audience.
Side ME stuff: Nearly finished writing a short story about two marines that takes place immediately following ME3. The ending is not Synthesis or Refuse. Dead Reapers were around so it's probably not Control. The status of Shepard and the Normandy crew is completely unknown but the general consensus is that Shepard saved the galaxy.
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I can't wait to see the utter devastation I can do with Miranda/Kaidan in the Armax Arena. 
Never, go for the eyes Boo, go for the eyes!!!!! 
