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Post by Curious Crow on Jul 25, 2018 0:36:54 GMT
Saw a thread on the forum that led me to opening ME1 to check on some stuff. Put on some music in the background and ended up listening to my old mood music for these games, so decided to give the trilogy a tiny poke. Loaded up ME3 and said hi to Michael. Took him to Grissom Academy and of course made him wear the Cerebus armor. Made the scenes of him entering a room armed to the teeth a lot more amusing. Think this is the easiest time I've had with the mission so far, so that was nice. Then went to talk to some diplomats, forgetting that it also triggered Sur'Kesh. So got some more delights making Wrex mad in that teeny tiny shuttle. I like him better when he hates me. Had been testing out the harpoon gun at the former mission, so this one tested the Krysae. Which was eventually switched out for the Harpoon again. But I really miss the Widow. Had a bit of a scare after the mission, since I realized that I hadn't visited Kaidan yet. Then calmed down when I realized I had both Tuchanka left and the two semi optional quests as well. So went to say hi to Kaidan and realized I never paid much attention to the shadows in this game before.  You're supposed to be resting, not flexing your biotics with wine bottles. >:C. Also, there is a shadow man beneath your bed, I see a horror story in your near future. Then said hi to Aria and ended the session trying to remember what quests need to be done before Tuchanka. |
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melbella
N7
Trouble-shooting Space Diva
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: melbella
Prime Posts: 2186
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Post by melbella on Jul 25, 2018 1:16:47 GMT
Then said hi to Aria and ended the session trying to remember what quests need to be done before Tuchanka.
Grissom Academy won't be available after the coup so do it before dealing with the genophage. Also, anything that requires you to report back to someone on the Citadel who isn't there after the coup. The two I can think of immediately are Barla Von and the ambassador (son lost on Benning). The SB mercs are in the same cluster as Tuchanka but a different system, and Benning becomes available after 1 or 2 of the Tuchanka missions. Not sure exactly when but Traynor will mention it. 
I usually try to clear the map of everything before curing the genophage, unless I want to save something specific for the VS to tag along on, like Eden Prime, the rachni, or the two missions with Victus Jr.
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Post by themikefest on Jul 25, 2018 2:08:26 GMT
If the side mission, Cerberus Abductions, to get the Ambassador's son's dogtags is not completed before Priority: Tuchanka, the player only misses out on getting a reward for retrieving the son's dogtags. The player will still get the Arcturus First Division war asset, if the side mission is completed after Tuchanka
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Post by Curious Crow on Jul 26, 2018 1:05:44 GMT
More ME3. Thanks for the tips on what to do before Tuchanka. Of course I was a tit and didn't do most of the stuff. Just said hi to some loiterers on the Citadel, got the wet squad for Barla Von and that thing that there Salarian wanted in the hospital. I did have a reason, or well kinda. So started with getting the Turian Platoon to get Tuchanka up and ready. Then did some final side stuff before going to cure the Genophage. Was wondering why I wasn't getting the feels over Wrex and Michael, then realized that if I don't tell Wrex about the sabotage, he wont snap at me and no touchy feely lines from Eve. But too lazy to reload, so Michael kept his gob shut. And Wrex, there are plenty of nasty things you can say at his funeral. Hehe. So Mordin got all dramatic and of course Michael pulled the gun at him. But didn't empty a clip in his back since we are trying to be sorta civilized here. But the game was a saucy minx, putting Mordin in slow-mo and what not. Still, Michael did not pull the trigger and tossed the gun before he left, so maybe it was just broken? (I know he does it when he shoots as well, but at least that time it's evidence. Now he's just being wasteful). So usually during the dream section I run the other way, since children are scary and I have many grievances with the sequence of event. But this time, Michael did give chase after the kid and was delighted to see that there were no cutscenes. And since there was a bit of a bigger death pool this time around, I even got to hear some new lines. Which was one of the thing that annoyed me about the dream before I modded it away, most of the dead talkers were the mandatory ones, so like, not much I could have done about that. Is this a bad time? I'm on the toilet Liara, what do you think? Hehe. Had a delightfully easy time with the coop. Michael has that ability which puts the turrets on his side, so those usually annoying engineers were such delights today, giving me presents like that.  You're not the one I want, Kaidan. It's the man behind you. I want to bang Udina. But yeah, Michael did not lower his gun and took the shot. At Udina that is. Then as I was wrapping up the mission, I realized I didn't talk to Kasumi. Ooops. Guess we lost the Hanar. Either way, Kaidan wanted to join the Normandy, which is where the reason for being lazy comes in. Since I usually don't drag him along on missions, especially not the early ones, it was time to see what he had to say about those. And not just me being really, really lazy. So first pay off was the bomb mission. He's pretty snarky there and I quite like that. Also liked the Hydra I found. The Atlas it was used on loved it as well. Also liked the scene after the mission and his chatter with James back in his room. Second was grabbing Javik. Have actually had him on that one, but still. Good company. And his cryo blast is useful because of the no dodging it bonus the squaddies have. And exploding frozen foes with a fiery bolt is just divine. Also went for dinner with Kaidan and I must say the new romance version of it is pretty sweet. Also there were some instant benefits, like being able to chat with Liara without worrying about getting pounced. So that's nice. Sadly had to end it around there, so next session will be deciding to either side quest or grab Tali for side questing company. |
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 26, 2018 1:29:47 GMT
Finally got something written that I am fairly happy with (or at least, I don't hate what I wrote). Hopefully the ideas will flow more freely throughout the rest of the week and into the weekend.
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Traynor: Shepard, the diplomats are ready to come aboard.
Barbie: All right, time to play Diplomat. (picks up pile of dirty clothes)
Traynor: What are you doing?
Barbie: Going to play Diplomat.
Traynor: Diplomat.
Barbie: Yes.
Traynor: With a pile of dirty clothes?
Barbie: (confused) Well how else are you supposed to play Diplomat?
Traynor: Well, how do you play Diplomat?
Barbie: You stick the clothes in the machine, and wash them.
Traynor: Barbie, that's 'laundromat'.
Barbie: Fuck.
* * *
Barbie: (entering meeting room) I'm coming! Don't start arguing without me.
Dalatrass Linron: Why is the Krogan here?
Primarch Victus: Because I invited him here.
Wrex: You also offered me food.
Victus: I offered you Shepard's food.
Barbie: Speaking of food, I'm hungry.
Victus: Maybe we can get take-out?
Wrex: I know a good place if it hasn't been destroyed by the Reapers yet. Best Pyjack Burgers in the
galaxy.
Dalatrass: Can we get back on track here? What do you want, Wrex?
Wrex: Right now, Pyjack burgers.
Dalatrass: I meant, what do you want to secure a deal?
Wrex: Cure the genophage.
Dalatrass: Absolutely not!
Barbie: The sooner we cut a deal, the sooner we go out for burgers. All in favor of curing the genophage
say "Aye".
Barbie, Wrex, and Victus: Aye!
Barbie: All opposed, say "Nay".
Dalatrass: Nay!
Barbie: The "Ayes" have it, motion passes!
Victus: Wait, how are we supposed to cure the genophage? That could take time.
Wrex: Some time ago, a Salarian named Maelon attempted to cure the genophage.
Barbie: I remember. His experiments were brutal.
Wrex: What you don't know, is that some of the females survived his expirements. They're immune to the
genophage. My intel says the Salarians have some fertile Krogan females at one of their facilities.
Barbie: Great! Let's go get them!
Dalatrass: You're not setting foot on sur'Kesh!
Wrex: So that's where they are?
Dalatrass: Me and my big mouth.
Victus: Can we eat now?
* * *
Steve Cortez: Commander, we have a problem.
Barbie: What is it?
Cortez: The Salarians say we don't have clearance to land.
Wrex: I knew they wouldn't keep their word. Let's see them try to stop a Krogan Air Drop.
Barbie: Geronimo! (jumps out)
Garrus: Is she dead?
Wrex: She has to hit the ground first. Krogan Air Drops are usually done a lot closer to the ground.
Garrus: Do you think we'll hear it?
Wrex: Nah, we're too high up. And... she just hit the ground.
Garrus: Is she dead?
Barbie: (over comms) I'm all right! Only a dislocated shoulder. (distinct popping sound) No it's okay, I
just popped it back in. Hey, are those tasers? (shocking sounds) Gwerewerwssbbbbbalsdlasdasd!
Cortez: Okay, we have clearance now. Coming in for a landing.
* * *
Barbie: Ooh! Buttons!
Salarian: Don't touch that.
Barbie: (touch)
Salarian: Please don't touch that.
Barbie: (touch)
Salarian: I said don't touch that.
Barbie: (touch)
Salarian: Does "don't touch that" mean "touch that" in your language.
Barbie: (touch)
Salarian: Seriously, why are touching that?
Barbie: (touch)
Salarian: Fine go ahead, touch it.
Barbie: (touch)
Salarian: Look, if you want to keep touching it, get your own feces analyzer.
Barbie: I already have a feces analyzer, but yours is so much cooler!
Salarian: You have a feces analyzer?
Barbie: Doesn't everyone?
* * *
Mordin: Ah, Shepard! Surprised to see you here.
Barbie: I'm here to pick up the Krogan females.
Mordin: Only one survived. I couldn't save them.
Barbie: Have you tried reloading your last save?
Krogan female: Are you here to kill me?
Barbie: Of course not!
Garrus: But stick around Barbie long enough, and you'll wish she had.
Random Salarian: Bogeys inbound!
Wrex: (over comms) Cerberus is attacking! Get the females out of there, Shepard!
Barbie: Only one survived, Wrex. It may be safer down here.
Wrex: No deal. I ate too many Pyjack burgers. I don't want to move. Get the female Krogan up here now, or
the deal's off!
Barbie: (to a Salarian operator) Get the female out of here. We're leaving.
Salarian operator: Sorry, but protocol states (gets shocked) Agwerwrssdfsf!
Mordin: Objection noted. Now, please release Krogan.
Barbie: Let me try that! (shocks operator)
Operator: Mrrmmrmwerwetsdttdrr!
Mordin: Shepard, please.
Barbie: Again? Okay! (shocks operator again)
Operator: Grtosdfsdftttfddfrerr!
Mordin: Shepard, cannot release Krogan if operator is incapacitated. Please refrain from further
interference.
Barbie: Aw, okay.... but one more for the road! (shocks operator a third time)
Operator: Rmrmrmsdfgghlsdofsdr!
* * *
Mordin: Shepard, you must authorize release. Pod then transfers to loading area.
Wrex: Shepard, heads up! You've got incoming! (Atlas Mech lands)
Barbie: (singing) It's raining mechs! Hallelujah, it's raining mechs!...
(Barbie destroys mech)
Barbie: Aw, it's broken already? I'm always too rough with my new toys.
EDI: I'm sure the Reapers will be more resilient to your... fun methods.
Barbie: I can only hope!
Wrex: (to female Krogan) Let's get you out of there.
Cerberus mook: There's the Krogan female! (gets blasted by the Krogan female)
Wrex: Hmmpf. Women.
Barbie: Tell me about it.
Everyone: (looks at Barbie)
Barbie: What?
Cerberus mook: Grr mrrk hurrk huck krrruh huh
Barbie: Oh shut up.
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 27, 2018 0:56:22 GMT
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Diana Allers: So tell me Shepard, what do you do during your 'down time'?
Barbie: I do reporting like you!
Allers: Reporting?
Barbie: Yeah! I write clickbait articles for an Extranet news site.
Allers: That sounds more like blogging.
Barbie: I'm currently writing a series about what you should not put in your vagina.
Allers: How --?
Barbie: By sticking things in my vagina.
Allers: I should have seen that coming.
* * *
EDI: Cerberus seems to have taken control of an ancient ground-to-space cannon.
Barbie: I WANT THAT!
EDI: If we defeat Cerberus here, then we can take it for the Alliance.
Barbie: Not what I meant, EDI. Hey, Steve! Think we can attach this cannon to the Normandy?
Steve: Not a chance, Shepard.
Barbie: Can we at least try?
Garrus: But we already have a Thanix cannon.
Barbie: But I want both!
EDI: You can't have both.
Barbie: Spoil sports.
* * *
Grunt: Shepard? Ha ha! Shepard!
Javik: Yes, you are the one. The krogan who occupied my quarters on the Normandy. You left your mark.
Grunt: Yeah, well, I didn't feel like taking the elevator up a floor to use the bathroom.
Barbie: I know what you mean.
James: You have a bathroom in your cabin.
Barbie: Eh... Still too far.
...
Rachni Queen: Thank you for OH DEAR GOD NOT YOU AGAIN.
Barbie: Queenie!
Rachni Queen: Please don't call me that.
James: Are you saying this is the Rachni Queen you let go on Noveria?
Rachni Queen: I am beginning to wish she dumped the acid on me instead.
Javik: I advise killing this one. She is breeding monsters for the Reapers.
Rachni Queen: Kill me or release me. Anything to get me away from you.
Barbie: Aw, I can't kill such a sad puppy.
Javik: It is not a pet.
Barbie: Hey Grunt! Let's get moving!
Grunt: You go on ahead! I'll hold off the Rachni.
Barbie: No way! I got this!
Grunt: But...
Barbie: (running off) I am unstoppable!
Grunt: Anyone got something to eat?
James: (pulling wrapper out of his pocket) Gum?
* * *
Barbie: Okay EDI, I want you and the Meat Mountain to protect civilians while I run around killing Ceberus
goons.
James: Please don't call me 'Meat Mountain'.
Barbie: How about "Muscle Mountain'?
James: Ah forget it.
EDI: Do you have a nickname for me?
Barbie: FemBot.
EDI: That is oddly tame coming from you.
Barbie: I was going to go with BitchBot, but my mom keeps telling me to watch my language.
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dmc1001
N7
Biotic Booty
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: ferroboy
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Post by dmc1001 on Jul 27, 2018 4:18:25 GMT
A little bit of ME2. Forgive me for my lack of Freedom's Progress screenshots. Also, everything is under spoiler tags because I have a "thing" huge posts full of pictures. Meanwhile, I often have huge posts full of text so whatever. Damn the Collectors!  Last thought: "Fuck you, Joker!" Too bad you can't punch him in the jaw like Jack does to you in ME3.  The asshole responsible for the deaths of Admiral Kahoku, not to mention my entire unit (except Toombs) on Akuze. Never mind their work with husks and rachni, plus direct links to Binary Helix, which worked with Saren.  At least the asshole gave me a nice new ship. Flying the wrong colors, though.  WTF! Just because I have to use them for their assets doesn't mean I have to wear their shitty clothes!  |
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dmc1001
N7
Biotic Booty
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: ferroboy
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Post by dmc1001 on Jul 27, 2018 5:53:33 GMT
Did a little more after installing Adam's Casual Appearance Mod. Cannot deal with Cerberus clothes. Perusing the ship... Who the fuck put that pic on my desk? I sure wasn't me! Damn, TIM, for not letting me recruit him!  Two ex-Alliance engineers who quit over...me? Weird, but now they work for me. My name is Charlie.  The bitch is back! (This was meant to be from the front but I guess I wasn't fast enough with my screenshot.)  Wow, my doctor followed me to Cerberus. Guess I don't have to worry about transferring my records.  Obvious eye candy.  Stupid AI! That it has blocks on just about anything Cerberus-related that I ask doesn't endear me to it or them.  Still want to punch him, but he is a great pilot.  Accidentally missed Rupert Gardner. Maybe I'll edit this post later to add him in. Alchera, where a lot of my crew died, but somehow I'm still here. Normandy then and now   Pressly evolving   Fuck Virmire!  The original galaxy map  Wish we could salvage this  In memoriam  |
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MegaIllusiveMan
N3
I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: MegaIllusiveMan
PSN: MegaIllusiveMan
Posts: 807 Likes: 2,171
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I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
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Post by MegaIllusiveMan on Jul 28, 2018 1:26:56 GMT
Still recording... I'm waaaay late on the upload schedule, but real life things.
But let me tell you about this time a Turian and a human walk into a store and...
#QuoteOfTheMoment:
Human: I thought guys with shotguns never bothered to aim
Turian: "Okay, that hurts a little."
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N7
Biotic Booty
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: ferroboy
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Post by dmc1001 on Jul 28, 2018 13:49:58 GMT
Short post until I resume. This is from a day or two ago. Visited a random planet in the Omega Cluster. Some Cerberus spy had been captured and tortured by some random mercs. I took them out, found the spy dead but uncovered some intel on Cerberus that could compromise them. I could have sent it to TIM, or hung onto it, but I decided to send it to the Alliance. Because, fuck you Cerberus, you killed my squad on Akuze. Headed to Omega. Recruited some asshole merc named Zaeed Massani that TIM had given me a dossier on. Based on my first encounter with him, he's a thug. Well, maybe he'd die on the suicide mission we seemed to be going on. I was told I needed to see the head of Omega immediately. Therefore, I took the time to peruse the entire station before making my way to her. No one gets to tell me what to do or when to do it. I'll see her in my own time. |
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MegaIllusiveMan
N3
I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: MegaIllusiveMan
PSN: MegaIllusiveMan
Posts: 807 Likes: 2,171
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Post by MegaIllusiveMan on Jul 28, 2018 14:47:42 GMT
Sadly, I decided to pause for a long time the ME1 project to screenshot the hell out of everything to record those videos I mentioned from ME2. Ended up installing some HD mods and boy, what a difference. No HD  With HD  |
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dmc1001
N7
Biotic Booty
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: ferroboy
Prime Posts: 77
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Post by dmc1001 on Jul 28, 2018 19:00:06 GMT
Sadly, I decided to pause for a long time the ME1 project to screenshot the hell out of everything to record those videos I mentioned from ME2. Ended up installing some HD mods and boy, what a difference. Wow, that's beautiful! Makes me want to install some HD mods. My next project was to count how many times Shepard says "I should go".  |
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 28, 2018 23:53:07 GMT
I'm still trying to write to catch up on Barbie Shepard's (mis)adventures.
Also, I'm undecided what to do with Ashley. At first, I was going to have her go to Hackett to get away from Barbie, but now I am thinking Barbie should put her back on the squad because that would be funnier.
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MegaIllusiveMan
N3
I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: MegaIllusiveMan
PSN: MegaIllusiveMan
Posts: 807 Likes: 2,171
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I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
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Post by MegaIllusiveMan on Jul 29, 2018 3:21:09 GMT
Sadly, I decided to pause for a long time the ME1 project to screenshot the hell out of everything to record those videos I mentioned from ME2. Ended up installing some HD mods and boy, what a difference. Wow, that's beautiful! Makes me want to install some HD mods. My next project was to count how many times Shepard says "I should go".  Good luck on that. You'll need it  I'm still trying to write to catch up on Barbie Shepard's (mis)adventures. Also, I'm undecided what to do with Ashley. At first, I was going to have her go to Hackett to get away from Barbie, but now I am thinking Barbie should put her back on the squad because that would be funnier. Put her on the squad! It will be just like old times...
...where Ashley wanted to commit suicide.
(Maybe Hackett doesn't answer Ash's call because he thinks it's Barbie calling, so she has to stay  ) |
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Post by dazk on Jul 29, 2018 4:05:44 GMT
Agreed RedCaesar97 put her on the squad!!!! Let the mayhem begin  |
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MegaIllusiveMan
N3
I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: MegaIllusiveMan
PSN: MegaIllusiveMan
Posts: 807 Likes: 2,171
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I've revived Shepard, but I'm sending him in a Suicide Mission.
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Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by MegaIllusiveMan on Jul 29, 2018 14:52:50 GMT
"I hear this is the best place for food on Zakera Ward."
"You heard wrong. This is
Highlights: Tummy-Tingling Tuchanka Sauce, Asari honey marinade and Mark Meer voicing yet another extra.
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Jul 30, 2018 0:52:38 GMT
Super long post incoming. It's only half lame.
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Mordin: Problem, Shepard. Reaper protecting Shroud, poisoning Tuchanka's atmosphere.
Garrus: Poisoning Tuchanka's atmosphere? How can you tell?
Wrex: Very funny.
James: So what's the plan?
Barbie: Easy. I run in, punch the Reaper until it dies, then Mordin delivers the cure. Easy peezy.
Victus: Not that easy, actually. We'll need to distract the Reaper long enough for you to get in close to
do whatever it is you do. We'll do a flyby, hopefully keep its focus away from you so you can get in and
beat it senseless.
James: Uh, am I the only one here who thinks Shepard cannot punch the giant Reaper to death?
Everyone: (blank stares at James)
James: Okay, forget I asked.
Barbie: (cracking her knuckles) Oh I am so going to make that Reaper bleed.
Garrus: I don't think Reapers bleed.
Barbie: If you can get blood from a stone, then you can definitely get blood from a Reaper!
James: You can't actually get blood from a stone--
Barbie: Class dismissed!
Traynor: The Salarian Dalatrass is on line 3.
Barbie: I'll take it in the Comm room.
Dalatrass: Shepard, I supposed Mordin has already proposed using the Shroud to spread the cure?
Barbie: Yep, and we're on our way down now.
Dalatrass: Do you really think the krogan deserve a cure?
Barbie: I don't even know if they like that type of music?
Dalatrass: What?
Barbie: The Cure. They were a human music band like over a hundred years ago. I don't even know if the
Krogan like that type of music.
Dalatrass: I meant the genophage cure.
Barbie: That's a terrible name for a band. Must be an indie-thing.
Daltrass: That's not what I meant-- you know what? Never mind. Listen, our people sabotaged the Shroud
years ago so what you are planning wouldn't work. All you have to do is convince the krogan that the cure
worked.
Barbie: Music historians think The Cure were a heavily-influential rock band, so you could say that The
Cure 'worked'.
Dalatrass: I hate you.
* * *
Wrex: They'll sing battle songs about this someday!
Barbie: Really? You'll sing battle songs about fighting husks? That's lame.
Wrex: Shepard...
Barbie: You guys are supposed to be the biggest, baddest species in a fight, and you want to sing battle
songs about space zombies?
Wrex: Shepard...
Barbie: And I think I saw a few of your guys get taken out by a few of them.
Wrex: Shepard...
Barbie: Maybe instead of a battle song, it could be a children's lullaby?
Wrex: ...
Barbie: I'm sorry, were you going to say something?
Wrex: Never mind. Let's just get going.
* * *
Eve: You were going to say something earlier, Commander?
Barbie: Yeah, the Dalatrass said the cure won't work because the Shroud was sabotaged.
Wrex: What?
Mordin: STG work. Can work around it. Thank you Shepard.
Eve: You've just saved us another lifetime of pain and misery, Commander.
Barbie: But The Cure is terrible.
Wrex: What?
Barbie: I mean, the music is just awful. Just listen to it! (plays music from Omni Tool)
(a few moments later)
Wrex: Oh dear god, please make it stop! And you humans call that music??
Mordin: (jamming to The Cure) ROCK ON!
Wrex: Wait, why are we stopping?
Barbie: (already out of the vehicle) What's the hold up?
Krogan: Road's out. Convoy can't make it through.
Barbie: Uh, have you seen your trucks? They can totally go over that.
Garrus: For once, I am actually inclined to agree with Barbie.
Barbie: Great! Now about my idea about skyjumping into the sun--
Garrus: No.
Artimec Wing commander: Leeeeeeroy Jenkins!
Barbie: Goddamn it, no! They're going to take my kill before I get there! Wrex, see if you can go stop them
while I catch up on foot!
James: Wait, wouldn't it better if we took one of the trucks?
Barbie: Too late now, let's go!
Garrus: Damn it.
Barbie: Into the scary-looking tunnel!
James: How bad can it be?
Barbie: It's dark in here. (turns on flashlight, puts it up to face) OooOooooooh! I see a ghooooost!
James: Oh right, I'm with Barbie. Things can always get worse.
(Ground tremor)
Garrus: What the hell is that?
Barbie: Hey, Wrexy-boy! You feel that tremor?
Wrex: No.
Eve: It is said that Kalros, the Mother of All Thresher Maws lives in this region.
Barbie: (eyes lighting up) You mean I can get to kill a Reaper and a Thresher Maw today! Quick! Let's find
it!
Garrus: Damn it.
James: You say that a lot.
Garrus: Damn it.
* * *
Wrex: Wait! I just want you to know that you've been a friend to the krogan, and a sister to me. From this
day forward, the name 'Shepard' will mean 'hero'!
Barbie: (awkward pause) That's it?
Wrex: What do you want from me, Shepard?
Barbie: Funny you should ask, I have a whole list right here!
Wrex: Just go kill the Reaper.
Barbie: Okay! I can't wait to mount that giant red light on my wall!
Garrus: Out of curiosity, what will the name 'Barbie' mean?
Wrex: You don't want to know.
...
James: On our left!
Barbie: Here we go, boys!
(Reaper Destroyer lasers the bridge)
James: Did we just get shot at by a Reaper?
Barbie: This is so awesome! I love playing 'Dodge the laser'! It's one of my favorite games!
James: Are we really doing this?
Barbie: Of course! Monopoly is boring!
James: Not what I meant.
Artemic wing commander: Let's give that Reaper something else to shoot at!
Barbie: NOOO! They're ruining the game!
Garrus: On the left, one of the hammers!
Barbie: Then whack it so we can summon Kalros! I want to bag me a Thresher Maw! (almost gets stomped on by
the Reaper) Hah! Missed me big guy!
Garrus: Damn it.
Barbie: (activates left maw hammer) One down! Let's get the other one! (almost gets stomped on again)
Missed me again!
Garrus: Damn it.
Barbie: (activates right maw hammer) Kalros, I summon thee!
(Kalros appears, attacks the Reaper)
Barbie: Goddamn it, no! She's taking my kill! (yelling at Kalros) YOU BITCH! GET AWAY FROM THE GIANT ROBOT!
(Kalros drags the Reaper underground)
Barbie: NOOOOO! Goddamn it, no! You stupid worm, you stole my kill! When this war is over, I will come back
to hunt you down and butcher you alive in front of all your children! (runs to the Shroud)
Barbie: (to Mordin) Okay Mordin, deliver the cure so we can back to the Normandy. I have a bunch of cool
science stuff I want you do for me.
Mordin: Can't go with you Shepard. Must take elevator up to deliver cure. Can counteract STG sabotage from
there. Goodbye Shepard. Will catch up later.
Barbie: Okay! See you later. (leaves)
Mordin: (taking elevator up) Thank goodness she bought it. Can finally be free from Shepard. (delivers
cure, presses buttons, exhales) Yes, finally free. Wished I could have studied the sea- (explosion)
* * *
EDI: The Reaper is completely inert, Shepard.
Joker: Yes. So all we need now is a gun that shoots giant Thresher Maws.
Barbie: Yeah, I got some ideas about that...
* * *
Diana Allers: So tell me Commander, what do you consider your greatest accomplishment?
Barbie: Well, one time, at this orgy---
Allers: Please stop.
* * *
Liara: Goddess, I hate Noveria.
Barbie: I miss the snow. And the Geth. And the Rachni.
Liara: You know all those things were trying to kill us last time, right?
Barbie: Yeah! That's what made it so much fun!
EDI: Didn't you also kill Liara's mother when you were here last?
Liara: (sarcastic) Thanks for the reminder, EDI. I really needed that.
EDI: You are welcome, Liara.
Liara: I was being sarcastic.
Barbie: I wasn't!
Steve: You've got a heavy target inbound!
Barbie: Maybe it's a Transformer!
EDI: It's just a Cerberus mech.
Barbie: The one organization that could create a Transformer, and they don't. What a waste of science.
(Still a few more posts to go before I am caught up.)
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Post by dmc1001 on Jul 31, 2018 16:07:52 GMT
ME2 keeps crashing right after I meet Archangel and Garrus is about to look through his scope to see who's coming. Tried to fix it but no go. I'm going to have to uninstall and reinstall it. Given my shitty internet connection, it's going to take a while. Think I still have an ME3 run I haven't finished so I'll play that in the meantime.
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Post by dazk on Jul 31, 2018 22:51:40 GMT
ME2 keeps crashing right after I meet Archangel and Garrus is about to look through his scope to see who's coming. Tried to fix it but no go. I'm going to have to uninstall and reinstall it. Given my shitty internet connection, it's going to take a while. Think I still have an ME3 run I haven't finished so I'll play that in the meantime. Wow that really sucks, I don't ever remember having ME2 crash at any time ever. I presume you tried going back to earlier saves? Sorry its going to take so long to download but enjoy ME3 |
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Post by dmc1001 on Aug 1, 2018 3:04:38 GMT
ME2 keeps crashing right after I meet Archangel and Garrus is about to look through his scope to see who's coming. Tried to fix it but no go. I'm going to have to uninstall and reinstall it. Given my shitty internet connection, it's going to take a while. Think I still have an ME3 run I haven't finished so I'll play that in the meantime. Wow that really sucks, I don't ever remember having ME2 crash at any time ever. I presume you tried going back to earlier saves? Sorry its going to take so long to download but enjoy ME3  Returning to my Twin Shepards run of Faith (Colonist/Vanguard/Butcher of Torfan) and Owen (Colonist/Vanguard/Hero of Elysium). Upshot is that Faith was the "main" Spectre, tasked with taking down Saren. She romanced Kaidan and let Ash die on Virmire. The only non-human squadmate was Liara. She let the Council die at the Battle of the Citadel and named Udina to the all-human Council.
Owen did side missions with pilot Lani Reed (survivor of Mindoir who later ends up in the AI and Andromeda) with Garrus, Tali and Wrex. Uncovered Cerberus plot. Made a Spectre to take care of the main threat and infiltrate the rest. Succeed in part
Faith dies with the Normandy but her body is never recovered. Owen meets Kaidan at the funeral. They stay in touch and, eventually, become romantically involved. However, Owen's mission to infiltrate Cerberus made the relationship difficult to maintain, especially since it was top secret and couldn't be shared with Kaidan, so it ended. Owen fakes a pro-human/anti-alien stance to attract the attention of Cerberus. Finally, a staged attack on him by aliens leaves him seriously injured. At that point, Cerberus takes him in.
Owen wakes up on Lazarus Station and realizes, in part because of the name, that it have to be doing more than just tending to him. He was unable to learn its true purpose. Gets caught up in the Collector plot and decides it's more important than his original mission, at least for now. Makes all the Paragon choices and stops the Reapers from coming through the Alpha Relay. In the end, branded a seeming traitor, Shepard returns the SR-2 to Earth with only Joker, Chakwas, Daniels and Donnelly. Publicly, Owen is arrested and tried for the destruction of a batarian world. Privately, he is in protective custody.
Reapers invade and Owen is reinstalled as commander of the SR-2. Still all Paragon choices. During Citadel DLC, instead of his clone he runs into Faith - unclear whether it's her or a clone but clearly the product of Lazarus. She's also pissed that Owen is with Kaidan (romance was reignited during ME3) and didn't wait for her even though she was dead for 2+ years. She had been fooled by Maya Brooks into thinking Owen was a traitor but allows herself to die when she realizes that a) she had been played and  most of her life choices had terrible consequences.
As of now, I finished the Citadel DLC and am about to leave for Cronos Station.
Incidentally, ME2 has reinstalled faster than I thought but I may as well wrap up this PT.
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Post by Iddy on Aug 1, 2018 19:03:16 GMT
I'm still in the beginning of my first ME run and mostly wandering if Shepard ever cracks a joke. The game doesn't seem to ever give me any option other than being dead serious 24/7.
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Post by dmc1001 on Aug 1, 2018 20:42:58 GMT
I'm still in the beginning of my first ME run and mostly wandering if Shepard ever cracks a joke. The game doesn't seem to ever give me any option other than being dead serious 24/7. He's pretty much dead serious but he can get a little snarky at times. Shepard is under a lot of stress with the fate of the galaxy hanging in the balance while the politicians do everything in their power to NOT provide aid. This pretty much continues throughout the trilogy and Shepard hits the highest stress level ever in ME3 (with good cause). Be good and get Shepard a romance partner to help make things better. (Unless that person is pointing a gun at you, which is entirely possible.) |
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Post by dmc1001 on Aug 1, 2018 22:39:15 GMT
I'm about to post an actual shitload of screenshots from Twin Shepards in ME3. It's Owen's turn here but...well, I don't want to spoil things. Played a little at Armax Arsenal Arena, for fun and for charity. Broke the board since know my scores exceeded 9999. (Also, Imgur is having issues uploading all my screenshots at once, which should tell you something.) 
OK, issues with Imgur. It's not loading images and the ones that did go up aren't necessarily in the order I want to post. ![=]](//storage.proboards.com/6576594/images/yNrAXjkTcPPBLrsOOiCC.png) |
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Post by dmc1001 on Aug 2, 2018 1:19:31 GMT
Okay, managed to get the screenshots all uploaded. If you can believe it, I had to reboot twice. The my DNS had some issues and I have to figure out how to solve that. Then I visiting The Lobby here for amusing discussions. Now, on to the posting! Had some meet-ups on the Citadel, both in the apartment and out and about. EDI stopped by for a visit and to do some shopping. Had to prevent her from bankrupting Joker. Then we got engaged. Or something. I don't know if I'd feel okay with wearing that ring. I mean, I'm a man's man! Anyway, the screenshots.  Liara stopped by to teach me the one piano song she knew. It was nice of her to let herself in.  Was supposed to meet Traynor for lunch. Instead she was playing space chess. She'd just won a bout but some bitchy asari showed up and tried trash talking. I trash talked right back and caused her to make a mistake that not only lost her the came but zapped her into unconsciousness.  Finally, help a memorial service for Thane. Lots of people who knew him, or benefited from his actions, showed up.   One interesting comment came from EDI. She had thought Thane had no sense of humor but, looking back, realized that wasn't the case. Thane had been an assassin his entire life. Then he tried to change his life in a way that very few do, and mostly because he wanted to make amends to his son at the end of his life. That kind of change doesn't come easily and distracts from things like humor. [Geez, why is it making me tear up just thinking about it?]  After it was over, Kolyat gave me some messages that Thane had tried to send to me while I was locked up on Earth. Three messages, in fact. He was a good man at the end of his life.   Then I threw a party for everyone one of my crew who was still alive. (There will be different subsections for each part of the party because there are a lot of screenshots. Oh, and it's possible some of my screenshots are not in the proper placement but *shrug* that's how it goes.) Glyph asked what kind of party I wanted. I said energetic because, hell, with all we'd been through we needed a lively party rather than something to put us all asleep. Chatting over drinks  Joker shit-talking Cerberus  Discovering that the bottle of Serrice Brandy Dr. Chakwas sent over tasted good. Of course, I already knew that since I'd shared two of them with her.  . Party, Part Two Grunt having fun telling people they can't come in. Kids these days...  Ganging up on Joker to make him learn to use a pistol  Art appreciation (yep, stolen from Kaidan in ME1)  Setting the ladies up on a date  EDI making everyone uncomfortable with her questions to Traynor. Tali tried to obliterate the memory with alcohol.  Vega trying to convince a group of biotics that his muscles are superior to our abilities  Things really ramped up near the end The unsavory bunch are taking out the bottles in case they revolt. Garrus must have talked to them about it.  Forcing Joker to dance with EDI  Vega going for a ride. (And really Kaidan? Talking about our sex life? That's what alcohol does.)  Kasumi approving my underwear choices  Grunt really got hammered  They make fun of my dancing but Jack is just acting like a stripper and no one complains  A shot of the entire crew  Aftermath Woke up next to Kaidan  Found a datapad containing some of Mordin's songs. The STG apparently dropped it sometime during the night. He found a way to be present even from beyond the grave.  Javik learning that 50,000 years hasn't improved his ability to hold his liquor  Tali overindulged AGAIN. Might have to get her into a rehab or something. I wonder if I corrupted her over the last three years or so.  Cortez and Zaeed seem fine  Wrex is amused by just how wrecked Joker was  Liara and Garrus seem perfectly fine  Samara is meditating  I think these two are just showing off  EDI unaffected by anything from the party i.imgur.com/yoE7FGm.pngTraynor searching the extranet for video of herself doing anything strange the night before  Breakfast, courtesy of Vega  Heading back to the Normandy, it feels like the end of an era  This ship, or the first version of it, had Faith in charge. She didn't make it and the new one was built for me. There's no small irony that I became a Spectre specifically to end Cerberus and they ended up giving the SR-2 to me. Without it we'd have no chance in this war. Right now, though, Cerberus was going to meet its end.  The party's over, quite literally. Next up is removing Cerberus from the board, permanently. Then, Earth. |
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Post by RedCaesar97 on Aug 2, 2018 2:41:05 GMT
My apologies for posting these so late. I am trying to get my backlog written and posted before the end of the week. I thought I would have had it done by now.
Barbara "Barbie" Shepard...
Aria: Ah, the Guest of Honor has arrived. We can finally start.
Barbie: Oh cool! You've got a Cerberus cruiser. You're going to infiltrate the enemy.
Aria: We get past their fleet, destroy their defenses, then the rest of my fleet can join the fun.
Barbie: Great plan! Let's do it!
(Aria's ship goes through the relay)
Aria: (to pilot) That's it, get in as close as you can.
Barbie: (taking control of the ship) SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER! (starts shooting)
Aria: WHAT THE HELL, SHEPARD?
Barbie: Fire phasers! Fire torpedos! Ram the children!
Aria: Aria to the rest of the fleet, get in here before Shepard kills us all!
Bray: We're being hailed by the General.
Aria: Put him through.
General Oleg Petrovsky: Aria, what a pleasant surprise. And this must be Commander Shepard. A pleasure to
finally meet you, Commander.
Barbie: The pleasure is all mine, General Petrovicky!
Petrovsky: It's 'Petrovsky'.
Barbie: Of course! What did I say?
Petrovsky: I've upgraded Omega's defenses. My cannons will cut through you at will.
Barbie: You can't kill me! I'll only revert to the last save point, stronger than ever?
Petrovksy: What? Never mind. Turn back.
Aria: Not a chance! Set preset course. Everyone to the escape pods! We're ramming the station. Shepard, I
said get to the escape pods!
Barbie: (at the airlock) But I want to ride the ship like cowboy!
Aria: Just get to the escape pods.
Barbie: You're no fun.
... Escape pod crashes into Omega ...
Barbie: (leaping out of pod) Happy Birthday, bitches!
Cerberus goon: Someone remembered!
Barbie: This is just like that time I jumped out of a birthday cake!
Aria: Did you kill the party guests then, too?
Barbie: Hell yeah! Best assignment ever!
Aria: We need to get to the Defense system Station and shut down the defenses so my ships can land.
Barbie: Okay, let's go! (runs off)
Aria: (yelling) It's this way, Shepard!
Barbie: (running back) Okay, let's go!
Aria: How about I just give you directions?
Barbie: You mean like a map?
Aria: Look, you just shoot and I tell you where to go, okay?
Barbie: Okay!
Aria: ...
Barbie: ...
Aria: (sighing) Go to that doorway over there.
Barbie: Okay! (runs off)
Aria: This is going to be a long day.
* * *
After shutting down the station defenses...
Aria: We need to head to a bunker on D-deck. It's got everything we need.
Barbie: (noticing camera) Oh look, a camera! (turns to camera) Hi guys! My name is Barbie Shepard,
welcoming you to today's episode of Celebrity Space Cribs!
Aria: Dammit! (shoots camera)
Barbie: Hey, I was using that!
Aria: Let's just get out of here.
Barbie: Hey that looks like a gang tag!
Aria: The Talons. They used to deface my property, too.
Barbie: The Talons. That's a cool gang name. Not as cool as mine, 'The Green Thumbs'.
Aria: That's a terrible name.
Barbie: It probably doesn't come across very well in your Asari language.
Aria: I doubt it comes across very well in any language.
* * *
Aria: Mechs! They're coming through the force field!
Barbie: They look just like LOKI mechs! (destroys a mech)
only not as durable. That's disappointing.
Aria: This way. Down this ladder.
Nyreen Kandros: My my. If it isn't Aria T'Loak.
Barbie: It's a ninja!
Aria: Shepard, this is Nyreen Kandros. We go way back.
Barbie: You know a ninja!
Nyreen: I am not a ninja.
Barbie: You look like a ninja!
Aria: We better get going.
Barbie: Can you throw ninja stars?
Nyreen: What?
Aria: I'm finding it best not to ask.
Barbie: But I've never met a ninja before.
* * *
Bray: We've got a problem.
Aria: What is it?
Bray: I turned away for just a second to offload some supplies, and when I looked back...
Aria: You lost her.
Barbie: She just disappeared. Just like ninja!
Aria: What is it with you and ninjas?
Barbie: I just really like ninjas.
Bray: Everyone likes ninjas.
Aria: (scowling)
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most of her life choices had terrible consequences.
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