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Post by Bronztrooper on Mar 4, 2019 21:20:50 GMT
I can't really say I'm surprised by the responses I've seen.
I feel I should clarify that there are asexuals who are ok with certain acts in regards to sex, though PIV is one that a lot of asexuals may be uncomfortable with, even male asexuals (I'm one of those). Some do enjoy the intimacy and some simply do it for their partner's sake, but if they aren't willing to, that doesn't automatically mean they are incapable of physically displaying affection in other ways.
The problem a lot of asexuals face with relationships is that most people think of sex as being the end-all, be-all for relationships (which is annoying imo- if sex without love exists, why can't the reverse?), which often leads, at best, to the relationship ending. The worst case scenario should be pretty clear (for female asexuals, at least).
Still, I'm glad at least a couple of you wouldn't immediately end things.
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Prince Charmless
I will save BioWare
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Coronavirus on Mar 4, 2019 22:22:39 GMT
If my bird turned round and told me she was asexual and no longer wanted to do the sideways shuffle then I would consider that a failure in my duties as a man and would commit seppuku immediately out of shame.
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Prince Charmless
I will save BioWare
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Coronavirus on Mar 4, 2019 22:27:36 GMT
Mind you Iβve only ever met one asexual that Iβm aware of being asexual. He likes to take photos of trains.
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Andraste_Reborn
N4
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Andraste_Reborn on Mar 4, 2019 22:50:40 GMT
Nearly everybody wants to look good, wants to be very healthy and wants to have an awesome partner. Well, unless you are either mentally deranged or a monk (but in my personal opinion they are the absolute hardliners among the delusional so... ) Ah, see, there's your problem: I am mentally deranged! (Well, not right now. Fortunately the risperidone keeps the hallucinations at bay.)
There are lot of things people who are less weird and ill and aromantic than I am typically want that I will either never have or just don't see the appeal of at all. I just do not like to be around people much - it makes my symptoms consistently worse. I'd rather chew my own arm off than pair-bond with anyone - saying 'you should try to be more attractive and conventionally feminine so some guy will want to live in your flat, sleep in your bed and tell you his opinions on everything from the colour of the soft furnishings to what you should have for dinner' is like saying 'you should cover yourself in BBQ sauce so tigers will want to eat you.' There's no up side there as far as I'm concerned - it's another one of those things that I tried and didn't like and don't bother with any more.
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Post by Giant Ambush Beetle on Mar 4, 2019 23:18:04 GMT
Nearly everybody wants to look good, wants to be very healthy and wants to have an awesome partner. Well, unless you are either mentally deranged or a monk (but in my personal opinion they are the absolute hardliners among the delusional so... ) Ah, see, there's your problem: I am mentally deranged! (Well, not right now. Fortunately the risperidone keeps the hallucinations at bay.)
There are lot of things people who are less weird and ill and aromantic than I am typically want that I will either never have or just don't see the appeal of at all. I just do not like to be around people much - it makes my symptoms consistently worse. I'd rather chew my own arm off than pair-bond with anyone - saying 'you should try to be more attractive and conventionally feminine so some guy will want to live in your flat, sleep in your bed and tell you his opinions on everything from the colour of the soft furnishings to what you should have for dinner' is like saying 'you should cover yourself in BBQ sauce so tigers will want to eat you.' There's no up side there as far as I'm concerned - it's another one of those things that I tried and didn't like and don't bother with any more.
Being attractive, or trying to be, does not necessarily mean you're doing that for anyone but you. I have to admit I'm rather antisocial and I'm not around people very much outside work, the times I'm around people for social interaction like parties per year, can be counted on one hand and the last time I dated anyone dinosaurs still walked the earth. But even on Saturday and Sundays when I'm all alone I dress properly, do my grooming, style my hair and try to look as good as possible. I also lift weights, yesterday I did a 235kg deadlift and 160kg bench press all alone by myself, nobody was watching, I was not trying to impress anyone. But don't mistake me for a narcissist just because I do those things for myself, I try constantly to be as strong, good looking, educated and intelligent as I can manage because I think that is the meaning of existence. In a way its like with hope, the day you stop improving yourself, or stop having hope, is the day you have given yourself up. Or to say it in Arthur Schopenhauers words: βI came across a wild flower, marveled at its beauty and at the perfection of all its parts, and exclaimed: 'But all this in you and in thousands like you blossoms and fades; it is not noticed by anyone and in fact is often not even seen by any one.' But the flower replied: 'You fool! Do you imagine I blossom in order to be seen? I blossom for my own sake because it pleases me, and not for the sake of others; my joy and delight consist in my being and in my blossoming.β
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Post by Lavochkin on Mar 5, 2019 0:24:12 GMT
Ah, see, there's your problem: I am mentally deranged! (Well, not right now. Fortunately the risperidone keeps the hallucinations at bay.)
There are lot of things people who are less weird and ill and aromantic than I am typically want that I will either never have or just don't see the appeal of at all. I just do not like to be around people much - it makes my symptoms consistently worse. I'd rather chew my own arm off than pair-bond with anyone - saying 'you should try to be more attractive and conventionally feminine so some guy will want to live in your flat, sleep in your bed and tell you his opinions on everything from the colour of the soft furnishings to what you should have for dinner' is like saying 'you should cover yourself in BBQ sauce so tigers will want to eat you.' There's no up side there as far as I'm concerned - it's another one of those things that I tried and didn't like and don't bother with any more.
Being attractive, or trying to be, does not necessarily mean you're doing that for anyone but you. I have to admit I'm rather antisocial and I'm not around people very much outside work, the times I'm around people for social interaction like parties per year, can be counted on one hand and the last time I dated anyone dinosaurs still walked the earth. But even on Saturday and Sundays when I'm all alone I dress properly, do my grooming, style my hair and try to look as good as possible. I also lift weights, yesterday I did a 235kg deadlift and 160kg bench press all alone by myself, nobody was watching, I was not trying to impress anyone. But don't mistake me for a narcissist just because I do those things for myself, I try constantly to be as strong, good looking, educated and intelligent as I can manage because I think that is the meaning of existence. In a way its like with hope, the day you stop improving yourself, or stop having hope, is the day you have given yourself up. Or to say it in Arthur Schopenhauers words: βI came across a wild flower, marveled at its beauty and at the perfection of all its parts, and exclaimed: 'But all this in you and in thousands like you blossoms and fades; it is not noticed by anyone and in fact is often not even seen by any one.' But the flower replied: 'You fool! Do you imagine I blossom in order to be seen? I blossom for my own sake because it pleases me, and not for the sake of others; my joy and delight consist in my being and in my blossoming.β The way I see it, much like with confidence, the first and most important person to convince of one's own attractiveness is oneself (via effort and self-improvement). Otherwise, how else can you expect anyone else to believe it?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2019 1:56:16 GMT
Ah, see, there's your problem: I am mentally deranged! (Well, not right now. Fortunately the risperidone keeps the hallucinations at bay.)
There are lot of things people who are less weird and ill and aromantic than I am typically want that I will either never have or just don't see the appeal of at all. I just do not like to be around people much - it makes my symptoms consistently worse. I'd rather chew my own arm off than pair-bond with anyone - saying 'you should try to be more attractive and conventionally feminine so some guy will want to live in your flat, sleep in your bed and tell you his opinions on everything from the colour of the soft furnishings to what you should have for dinner' is like saying 'you should cover yourself in BBQ sauce so tigers will want to eat you.' There's no up side there as far as I'm concerned - it's another one of those things that I tried and didn't like and don't bother with any more.
Being attractive, or trying to be, does not necessarily mean you're doing that for anyone but you. I have to admit I'm rather antisocial and I'm not around people very much outside work, the times I'm around people for social interaction like parties per year, can be counted on one hand and the last time I dated anyone dinosaurs still walked the earth. But even on Saturday and Sundays when I'm all alone I dress properly, do my grooming, style my hair and try to look as good as possible. I also lift weights, yesterday I did a 235kg deadlift and 160kg bench press all alone by myself, nobody was watching, I was not trying to impress anyone. But don't mistake me for a narcissist just because I do those things for myself, I try constantly to be as strong, good looking, educated and intelligent as I can manage because I think that is the meaning of existence. In a way its like with hope, the day you stop improving yourself, or stop having hope, is the day you have given yourself up. Or to say it in Arthur Schopenhauers words: βI came across a wild flower, marveled at its beauty and at the perfection of all its parts, and exclaimed: 'But all this in you and in thousands like you blossoms and fades; it is not noticed by anyone and in fact is often not even seen by any one.' But the flower replied: 'You fool! Do you imagine I blossom in order to be seen? I blossom for my own sake because it pleases me, and not for the sake of others; my joy and delight consist in my being and in my blossoming.β I find I feel that way about learning though...not about appearance. There are other things that hold my interest more than what is reflected back at me in a mirror. Don't get me wrong, I do have my preening moments on occasion, but it's not a daily thing.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2019 2:00:15 GMT
Being attractive, or trying to be, does not necessarily mean you're doing that for anyone but you. I have to admit I'm rather antisocial and I'm not around people very much outside work, the times I'm around people for social interaction like parties per year, can be counted on one hand and the last time I dated anyone dinosaurs still walked the earth. But even on Saturday and Sundays when I'm all alone I dress properly, do my grooming, style my hair and try to look as good as possible. I also lift weights, yesterday I did a 235kg deadlift and 160kg bench press all alone by myself, nobody was watching, I was not trying to impress anyone. But don't mistake me for a narcissist just because I do those things for myself, I try constantly to be as strong, good looking, educated and intelligent as I can manage because I think that is the meaning of existence. In a way its like with hope, the day you stop improving yourself, or stop having hope, is the day you have given yourself up. Or to say it in Arthur Schopenhauers words: βI came across a wild flower, marveled at its beauty and at the perfection of all its parts, and exclaimed: 'But all this in you and in thousands like you blossoms and fades; it is not noticed by anyone and in fact is often not even seen by any one.' But the flower replied: 'You fool! Do you imagine I blossom in order to be seen? I blossom for my own sake because it pleases me, and not for the sake of others; my joy and delight consist in my being and in my blossoming.β The way I see it, much like with confidence, the first and most important person to convince of one's own attractiveness is oneself (via effort and self-improvement). Otherwise, how else can you expect anyone else to believe it? ...and that confidence can't come from other aspects of your life? It all has to do with appearance?
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Post by Lavochkin on Mar 5, 2019 5:19:56 GMT
The way I see it, much like with confidence, the first and most important person to convince of one's own attractiveness is oneself (via effort and self-improvement). Otherwise, how else can you expect anyone else to believe it? ...and that confidence can't come from other aspects of your life? It all has to do with appearance? Among other things it does, yes. It's not like working on one's appearance is merely cosmetic, like increased strength from lifting has it's practical applications. I remember one thing that really made me feel smug and confident was one time after a while after starting to lift, my mom wanted to see if I could lift her up (she's not exactly petite either) and not only was I able to do it, but I carried her from one end of the house to the other. It felt quite nice to see all that time and effort was paying off. That and there was when I worked at a halloween store my superior tasked me out various employees (which was just me, a scrawny fellow and a bunch of female employees) to take out (quite a bit) of material to throw out into the dumpsters, including some heavy material. *Pats self on back*.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2019 5:44:57 GMT
...and that confidence can't come from other aspects of your life? It all has to do with appearance? Among other things it does, yes. It's not like working on one's appearance is merely cosmetic, like increased strength from lifting has it's practical applications. I remember one thing that really made me feel smug and confident was one time after a while after starting to lift, my mom wanted to see if I could lift her up (she's not exactly petite either) and not only was I able to do it, but I carried her from one end of the house to the other. It felt quite nice to see all that time and effort was paying off. That and there was when I worked at a halloween store my superior tasked me out various employees (which was just me, a scrawny fellow and a bunch of female employees) to take out (quite a bit) of material to throw out into the dumpsters, including some heavy material. *Pats self on back*. Yeah, I understand where you and Beetle are coming from when you talk about equating physical strength to gaining confidence, I know what it's like to not be physically weak and in my case, small, but there are other areas a person can acquire confidence too. You don't have to draw it from your physical self and where you draw your confidence from can change over time, it all depends on what interests and values you have and your ability to adapt or come to terms with what you can or cannot do.
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giantambushbeetle
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Post by Giant Ambush Beetle on Mar 5, 2019 10:14:02 GMT
Among other things it does, yes. It's not like working on one's appearance is merely cosmetic, like increased strength from lifting has it's practical applications. I remember one thing that really made me feel smug and confident was one time after a while after starting to lift, my mom wanted to see if I could lift her up (she's not exactly petite either) and not only was I able to do it, but I carried her from one end of the house to the other. It felt quite nice to see all that time and effort was paying off. That and there was when I worked at a halloween store my superior tasked me out various employees (which was just me, a scrawny fellow and a bunch of female employees) to take out (quite a bit) of material to throw out into the dumpsters, including some heavy material. *Pats self on back*. Yeah, I understand where you and Beetle are coming from when you talk about equating physical strength to gaining confidence, I know what it's like to not be physically weak and in my case, small, but there are other areas a person can acquire confidence too. You don't have to draw it from your physical self and where you draw your confidence from can change over time, it all depends on what interests and values you have and your ability to adapt or come to terms with what you can or cannot do. Hey *I* never mentioned my physical strength being a main factor of my confidence - but it certainly is one of the little puzzle pieces that make the complete picture of confidence, I draw my confidence from all the things I excel at. No need to leave any of them out. Heck, I'm a damn good Magic The Gathering card game player -I swear, I win like 90% of the matches among friends with my crazy decks- and to a degree, that does boost my self confidence too.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2019 11:30:13 GMT
Yeah, I understand where you and Beetle are coming from when you talk about equating physical strength to gaining confidence, I know what it's like to not be physically weak and in my case, small, but there are other areas a person can acquire confidence too. You don't have to draw it from your physical self and where you draw your confidence from can change over time, it all depends on what interests and values you have and your ability to adapt or come to terms with what you can or cannot do. Hey *I* never mentioned my physical strength being a main factor of my confidence - but it certainly is one of the little puzzle pieces that make the complete picture of confidence, I draw my confidence from all the things I excel at. No need to leave any of them out. Heck, I'm a damn good Magic The Gathering card game player -I swear, I win like 90% of the matches among friends with my crazy decks- and to a degree, that does boost my self confidence too. I like a good round of chess, I've never played Magic but I used to play the Yugioh card game. Still have all my cards too. As for strength being a part of your confidence, of course, it is. It gives a person less things to be afraid of. It allows you to maintain a certain calmness to your disposition. As for things you excel at, of course they'd give you confidence too, but I'm also sure that there are things that you don't excel at and lack confidence in those areas. But at least you are aware of where your strengths lay, right?
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Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR
Origin: GeneralXIV
PSN: GeneralXIV
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Post by GeneralXIV on Mar 6, 2019 1:40:08 GMT
So, I guess continuing along the topic of relationships, I want to ask this: If you were dating someone and after a couple dates they told you they were asexual, would you immediately break things off, or wait and see how things progress? I dated an asexual girl when I was younger. We were in a relationship for two years but we both decided to break up after that. To answer your question... I would never break up with them immediately unless there were other problems. Just because someone is asexual doesnt mean that a relationship cant be loving and special. Sex is great, and I totally admit to being insatiable. But alternate arrangements can be made and the right person is worth living without sex for, even if it would be difficult. If I really cared about them and saw a long-term relationship there, I would try to make it work for us in a way that would make us both happy So, I guess continuing along the topic of relationships, I want to ask this: If you were dating someone and after a couple dates they told you they were asexual, would you immediately break things off, or wait and see how things progress? If a woman that I am in a relationship with makes me live in sexual depravity, regardless of her orientation, she doesn't love me or value the relationship very much. Just sayin'. Strait, bi, asexual, whatever, no sex is the physical way of saying "I do not care about this relationship" or "I take this relationship for granted" or maybe even "I am a manipulative bitch who uses my sexuality to force my will on whoever is unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with me" I'd give her a chance to prove her case, but she'd be on the short list to be kicked to the curb. Isnt a big part of a relatationship the mutual understanding and acceptance of each others boundaries and desires? I think its perfectly fine to be incompatible with an asexual person. Its understandable. But most of your post feels to be kinda hostile. Everything you put in quotation marks is really... misguided? It kinda makes me think you dont know what asexuality is, or wouldnt care enough about a partner to hold their desires equally to your own. Sorry if Im wrong :/ Just because a person wouldnt be willing to do something against their will, that they feel no desire to do, doesnt mean they would take the relationship less seriously, manipulate you or love you any less than someone that felt sexual attraction. My view is that if you dont want to date an asexual person, dont date them/dump them. But understanding and acceptance are totally necessary to have a healthy relationship especially when it comes to boundaries and what people dont want to do. If I dated someone who had the opinion of "If you dont want what I want, you dont care about the relationship/take the relationship for granted or are trying to manipulate me"... It would set off a million red flags and make me think they cared more about themselves than the relationship. It might not be what you actually think, but your post didnt exactly sound nice.
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Post by BamBam the Destroyer on Mar 6, 2019 3:48:41 GMT
*snip* If a woman that I am in a relationship with makes me live in sexual depravity, regardless of her orientation, she doesn't love me or value the relationship very much. Just sayin'. Strait, bi, asexual, whatever, no sex is the physical way of saying "I do not care about this relationship" or "I take this relationship for granted" or maybe even "I am a manipulative bitch who uses my sexuality to force my will on whoever is unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with me" I'd give her a chance to prove her case, but she'd be on the short list to be kicked to the curb. Isnt a big part of a relatationship the mutual understanding and acceptance of each others boundaries and desires? I think its perfectly fine to be incompatible with an asexual person. Its understandable. But most of your post feels to be kinda hostile. Everything you put in quotation marks is really... misguided? It kinda makes me think you dont know what asexuality is, or wouldnt care enough about a partner to hold their desires equally to your own. Sorry if Im wrong :/ Just because a person wouldnt be willing to do something against their will, that they feel no desire to do, doesnt mean they would take the relationship less seriously, manipulate you or love you any less than someone that felt sexual attraction. My view is that if you dont want to date an asexual person, dont date them/dump them. But understanding and acceptance are totally necessary to have a healthy relationship especially when it comes to boundaries and what people dont want to do. If I dated someone who had the opinion of "If you dont want what I want, you dont care about the relationship/take the relationship for granted or are trying to manipulate me"... It would set off a million red flags and make me think they cared more about themselves than the relationship. It might not be what you actually think, but your post didnt exactly sound nice. Maybe the quote list is not so much misguided as it is incomplete. There is another option, "I am saving myself for the person I am cheating on you with" Mutual acceptance... of what? Let me put it to you this way. I am a man. Women are typically emotional over physical- they want emotional comfort before anything else. Generally speaking. (Admittingly broad strokes here.) Men, physical is just as important as emotional. A sexless relationship doesn't really feel like a relationship at all to a man. Rather, it is an obstacle to the relationship you need. It drives you nuts. What you call 'mutual acceptance' sounds a lot to me giving up a lot what makes a relationship a relationship for me. What would an asexual person forfeit of equal gravity? Even if they did forfeit something of equal gravity, would that even be desirable? That would be more commiseration than enjoyment. To be perfectly frank, I don't particularly care what asexual truly means, or what it's like. I have a decent idea what I want and a decent idea of what I don't, and that is good enough for me. The question did not refer to knowingly dating an asexual person, but rather, dating a person and finding out they were asexual after the fact. As I'm sure you are well aware, my dear, not all facts like these are readily apparent. As per the whole 'against their will', again, I am a man. By staying with someone, I am doing something 'against my will' (or at least against my base instinct) every single day. You gotta offset that somehow lady. Every relationship has selfish motivations-every single one. The idea of an altruistic relationship is largely mythological. If you are in a relationship now, you would not be in it unless there was something in it for you, that does not involve your partner's needs or feelings. So if sex is off the table by default... what's in for me? What's to stop me from chasing the next half decent woman, or even the next bicycle? What will the answer be the next time I think "Is this worth it?" If the potential for thinking that is a red flag, well, it turns out everyone's got a red flag. I do not view this as harsh or hostile as much as it is honest with myself. And that is a fundamental. No getting around it.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2019 5:06:47 GMT
*snip* Isnt a big part of a relatationship the mutual understanding and acceptance of each others boundaries and desires? I think its perfectly fine to be incompatible with an asexual person. Its understandable. But most of your post feels to be kinda hostile. Everything you put in quotation marks is really... misguided? It kinda makes me think you dont know what asexuality is, or wouldnt care enough about a partner to hold their desires equally to your own. Sorry if Im wrong :/ Just because a person wouldnt be willing to do something against their will, that they feel no desire to do, doesnt mean they would take the relationship less seriously, manipulate you or love you any less than someone that felt sexual attraction. My view is that if you dont want to date an asexual person, dont date them/dump them. But understanding and acceptance are totally necessary to have a healthy relationship especially when it comes to boundaries and what people dont want to do. If I dated someone who had the opinion of "If you dont want what I want, you dont care about the relationship/take the relationship for granted or are trying to manipulate me"... It would set off a million red flags and make me think they cared more about themselves than the relationship. It might not be what you actually think, but your post didnt exactly sound nice. Maybe the quote list is not so much misguided as it is incomplete. There is another option, "I am saving myself for the person I am cheating on you with" Mutual acceptance... of what? Let me put it to you this way. I am a man. Women are typically emotional over physical- they want emotional comfort before anything else. Generally speaking. (Admittingly broad strokes here.) Men, physical is just as important as emotional. A sexless relationship doesn't really feel like a relationship at all to a man. Rather, it is an obstacle to the relationship you need. It drives you nuts. What you call 'mutual acceptance' sounds a lot to me giving up a lot what makes a relationship a relationship for me. What would an asexual person forfeit of equal gravity? Even if they did forfeit something of equal gravity, would that even be desirable? That would be more commiseration than enjoyment. To be perfectly frank, I don't particularly care what asexual truly means, or what it's like. I have a decent idea what I want and a decent idea of what I don't, and that is good enough for me. The question did not refer to knowingly dating an asexual person, but rather, dating a person and finding out they were asexual after the fact. As I'm sure you are well aware, my dear, not all facts like these are readily apparent. As per the whole 'against their will', again, I am a man. By staying with someone, I am doing something 'against my will' (or at least against my base instinct) every single day. You gotta offset that somehow lady. Every relationship has selfish motivations-every single one. The idea of an altruistic relationship is largely mythological. If you are in a relationship now, you would not be in it unless there was something in it for you, that does not involve your partner's needs or feelings. So if sex is off the table by default... what's in for me? What's to stop me from chasing the next half decent woman, or even the next bicycle? What will the answer be the next time I think "Is this worth it?" If the potential for thinking that is a red flag, well, it turns out everyone's got a red flag. I do not view this as harsh or hostile as much as it is honest with myself. And that is a fundamental. No getting around it. To be honest, General is right, you do come off rather harsh and hostile, you have a very intimidating manner. But I think you're probably aware of that...and possibly enjoy it. Your general attitude displays a large degree of the negativity you feel towards women and relationships, which can be rather off-putting. I commend you for being honest with yourself an with your reply, I know with some topics can bring out an aggressive side when your admitting your true feelings on certain issues, it isn't always easy to do that. I hope you eventually meet that someone who can soften up your disposition, mind you, she'd have to be a pretty brave girl.
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Post by Ocelot on Mar 6, 2019 10:42:47 GMT
Asexuals will most likely end up alone, unless they can find someone who's asexual as well.
A relationship without sex is doomed to fail.
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Post by Lavochkin on Mar 6, 2019 15:19:13 GMT
Relationships are all about pros outweighing the cons (and those cons being manageable), not to mention that an SO is supposed to be an asset to one's life that also adds to the enjoyment of said life. A gal that doesn't satisfy her man's "needs" doesn't fit any of that criteria.
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Post by Coronavirus on Mar 6, 2019 20:47:48 GMT
Asexuals will most likely end up alone, unless they can find someone who's asexual as well. A relationship without sex is doomed to fail. One asexual is bad enough but 2 together in the same house? You wonβt be able to move for all the electric train sets and sonic the hedgehog merchandise.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2019 21:31:47 GMT
Asexuals will most likely end up alone, unless they can find someone who's asexual as well. A relationship without sex is doomed to fail. One asexual is bad enough but 2 together in the same house? You wonβt be able to move for all the electric train sets and sonic the hedgehog merchandise. ...okay... where did that come from? ...and WHY Sonic the Hedgehog?! Leave him out of this!
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I hunt, therefore I am
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Post by BamBam the Destroyer on Mar 6, 2019 22:47:54 GMT
Maybe the quote list is not so much misguided as it is incomplete. There is another option, "I am saving myself for the person I am cheating on you with" Mutual acceptance... of what? Let me put it to you this way. I am a man. Women are typically emotional over physical- they want emotional comfort before anything else. Generally speaking. (Admittingly broad strokes here.) Men, physical is just as important as emotional. A sexless relationship doesn't really feel like a relationship at all to a man. Rather, it is an obstacle to the relationship you need. It drives you nuts. What you call 'mutual acceptance' sounds a lot to me giving up a lot what makes a relationship a relationship for me. What would an asexual person forfeit of equal gravity? Even if they did forfeit something of equal gravity, would that even be desirable? That would be more commiseration than enjoyment. To be perfectly frank, I don't particularly care what asexual truly means, or what it's like. I have a decent idea what I want and a decent idea of what I don't, and that is good enough for me. The question did not refer to knowingly dating an asexual person, but rather, dating a person and finding out they were asexual after the fact. As I'm sure you are well aware, my dear, not all facts like these are readily apparent. As per the whole 'against their will', again, I am a man. By staying with someone, I am doing something 'against my will' (or at least against my base instinct) every single day. You gotta offset that somehow lady. Every relationship has selfish motivations-every single one. The idea of an altruistic relationship is largely mythological. If you are in a relationship now, you would not be in it unless there was something in it for you, that does not involve your partner's needs or feelings. So if sex is off the table by default... what's in for me? What's to stop me from chasing the next half decent woman, or even the next bicycle? What will the answer be the next time I think "Is this worth it?" If the potential for thinking that is a red flag, well, it turns out everyone's got a red flag. I do not view this as harsh or hostile as much as it is honest with myself. And that is a fundamental. No getting around it. To be honest, General is right, you do come off rather harsh and hostile, you have a very intimidating manner. But I think you're probably aware of that...and possibly enjoy it. Your general attitude displays a large degree of the negativity you feel towards women and relationships, which can be rather off-putting. I commend you for being honest with yourself an with your reply, I know with some topics can bring out an aggressive side when your admitting your true feelings on certain issues, it isn't always easy to do that. I hope you eventually meet that someone who can soften up your disposition, mind you, she'd have to be a pretty brave girl. I do not disrespect General- I admire her level of shameless weirdness, it truly is an intriguing thing and at times very respectable- but that does not mean I see eye to eye with her philosophies. I do not deny the negativity. Or the intimidation, for that matter. Most of the women I'm around on a regular basis are very, very good at finding new and innovative ways to make life disappointing. And getting offended about total nonsense. That too. So I say, if they don't want the carrot, give em the stick. As per brave, well, I'd have it no other way . I have a huge and crazy family. She'll need the courage.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2019 22:58:48 GMT
To be honest, General is right, you do come off rather harsh and hostile, you have a very intimidating manner. But I think you're probably aware of that...and possibly enjoy it. Your general attitude displays a large degree of the negativity you feel towards women and relationships, which can be rather off-putting. I commend you for being honest with yourself an with your reply, I know with some topics can bring out an aggressive side when your admitting your true feelings on certain issues, it isn't always easy to do that. I hope you eventually meet that someone who can soften up your disposition, mind you, she'd have to be a pretty brave girl. I do not disrespect General- I admire her level of shameless weirdness, it truly is an intriguing thing and at times very respectable- but that does not mean I see eye to eye with her philosophies. I do not deny the negativity. Or the intimidation, for that matter. Most of the women I'm around on a regular basis are very, very good at finding new and innovative ways to make life disappointing. And getting offended about total nonsense. That too. So I say, if they don't want the carrot, give em the stick. As per brave, well, I'd have it no other way . I have a huge and crazy family. She'll need the courage. Yeah...well...I can't say I see eye to eye with all women either. I get where you're coming from, to a degree. I am sorry that it sounds like a lot of the women you deal with have had a negative impact on your outlook, but I don't think we're all that bad... Well, it sounds like there's even more need for you to find yourself a brave girl then ...but honestly, try toning down the grumpiness, you don't need to traumatize any potentail ladies on the first date, eh?
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Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR
Origin: GeneralXIV
PSN: GeneralXIV
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Post by GeneralXIV on Mar 7, 2019 0:16:35 GMT
To be honest, General is right, you do come off rather harsh and hostile, you have a very intimidating manner. But I think you're probably aware of that...and possibly enjoy it. Your general attitude displays a large degree of the negativity you feel towards women and relationships, which can be rather off-putting. I commend you for being honest with yourself an with your reply, I know with some topics can bring out an aggressive side when your admitting your true feelings on certain issues, it isn't always easy to do that. I hope you eventually meet that someone who can soften up your disposition, mind you, she'd have to be a pretty brave girl. I do not disrespect General- I admire her level of shameless weirdness, it truly is an intriguing thing and at times very respectable- but that does not mean I see eye to eye with her philosophies. I do not deny the negativity. Or the intimidation, for that matter. Most of the women I'm around on a regular basis are very, very good at finding new and innovative ways to make life disappointing. And getting offended about total nonsense. That too. So I say, if they don't want the carrot, give em the stick. As per brave, well, I'd have it no other way . I have a huge and crazy family. She'll need the courage. That made me lol, thank you Shameless weirdness is what I do Unintentionally I was writing a reply to your earlier post when my phone decided to close the app when I locked it for some reason so I lost it all. Ill start trying to rewrite it
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Post by Giant Ambush Beetle on Mar 7, 2019 2:31:56 GMT
Yeah Generals honesty and openness is refreshing. I say no to closet pervs!
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Post by mybudgee on Mar 7, 2019 8:32:59 GMT
Ah, see, there's your problem: I am mentally deranged! (Well, not right now. Fortunately the risperidone keeps the hallucinations at bay.) I'm concerned - it's another one of those things that I tried and didn't like and don't bother with any more.
Being attractive, or trying to be, does not necessarily mean you're doing that for anyone but you. I have to admit I'm rather antisocial and I'm not around people very much outside work, the times I'm around people for social interaction like parties per year, can be counted on one hand and the last time I dated anyone dinosaurs still walked the earth.
But even on Saturday and Sundays when I'm all alone I dress properly, do my grooming, style my hair and try to look as good as possible. I also lift weights, yesterday I did a 235kg deadlift and 160kg bench press all alone by myself, nobody was watching, I was not trying to impress anyone.
But don't mistake me for a narcissist just because I do those things for myself, I try constantly to be as strong, good looking, educated and intelligent as I can manage because I think that is the meaning of existence. In a way its like with hope, the day you stop improving yourself, or stop having hope, is the day you have given yourself up.
Or to say it in Arthur Schopenhauers words:
βI came across a wild flower, marveled at its beauty and at the perfection of all its parts, and exclaimed: 'But all this in you and in thousands like you blossoms and fades; it is not noticed by anyone and in fact is often not even seen by any one.' But the flower replied: 'You fool! Do you imagine I blossom in order to be seen? I blossom for my own sake because it pleases me, and not for the sake of others; my joy and delight consist in my being and in my blossoming.β
Wow. This is far & away your greatest post Beetle
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Post by Bronztrooper on Mar 7, 2019 8:54:24 GMT
Asexuals will most likely end up alone, unless they can find someone who's asexual as well. A relationship without sex is doomed to fail. One asexual is bad enough but 2 together in the same house? You wonβt be able to move for all the electric train sets and sonic the hedgehog merchandise. If by that, you mean cake, cake, and more cake, then yes
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