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Giant Ambush Beetle
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giantambushbeetle
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Baldur's Gate, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Giant Ambush Beetle on Mar 7, 2019 9:34:52 GMT
]Wow. This is far & away your greatest post Beetle Not sure if sarcasm.
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Post by Arijon van Goyen on Mar 7, 2019 9:45:19 GMT
So, I guess continuing along the topic of relationships, I want to ask this: If you were dating someone and after a couple dates they told you they were asexual, would you immediately break things off, or wait and see how things progress? This is kinda related. Amazing
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Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire
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Post by mattig89ch on Mar 7, 2019 19:06:01 GMT
So, I guess continuing along the topic of relationships, I want to ask this: If you were dating someone and after a couple dates they told you they were asexual, would you immediately break things off, or wait and see how things progress? That would depend on the type of Asexual they were. I know of 2, but there could be others. If they were the kind to simply not have a sex drive, but were ok with sex in general, I'd be game to keep going. It might not work out in the end, but I'd def be up for giving it a shot. If they were the kind that simply found sex disgusting and unpleasant, then I wouldn't be interested.
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Post by mattig89ch on Mar 7, 2019 19:18:02 GMT
I can't really say I'm surprised by the responses I've seen. I feel I should clarify that there are asexuals who are ok with certain acts in regards to sex, though PIV is one that a lot of asexuals may be uncomfortable with, even male asexuals (I'm one of those). Some do enjoy the intimacy and some simply do it for their partner's sake, but if they aren't willing to, that doesn't automatically mean they are incapable of physically displaying affection in other ways. The problem a lot of asexuals face with relationships is that most people think of sex as being the end-all, be-all for relationships (which is annoying imo- if sex without love exists, why can't the reverse?), which often leads, at best, to the relationship ending. The worst case scenario should be pretty clear (for female asexuals, at least). Still, I'm glad at least a couple of you wouldn't immediately end things. For whatever its worth, I actually appreciate this point of view. I've talked to a few asexual folks, and never heard this point of view before. So thank you for sharing.
But I think your underestimating how much physical intimacy means to those of us who aren't asexual. Even in cases where sex w/out love happens, there's a need being fulfilled by both parties. A need to reach orgasm, a need to be as close and vulnerable with someone and having that trust rewarded, a need for closeness (however brief), a need for intimate skin to skin contact.
By denying that to your partner, your denying a key part of our needs.
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Post by Bronztrooper on Mar 7, 2019 19:55:13 GMT
So, I guess continuing along the topic of relationships, I want to ask this: If you were dating someone and after a couple dates they told you they were asexual, would you immediately break things off, or wait and see how things progress? That would depend on the type of Asexual they were. I know of 2, but there could be others. If they were the kind to simply not have a sex drive, but were ok with sex in general, I'd be game to keep going. It might not work out in the end, but I'd def be up for giving it a shot. If they were the kind that simply found sex disgusting and unpleasant, then I wouldn't be interested. There are plenty of asexuals that do have a libido (the 2 aren't mutually exclusive), but since there is nothing for it to be directed towards, it's treated more like an annoying itch to be scratched. As I said in my other post, there are asexuals who are willing to do certain acts, and some even enjoy the intimacy while others may not care either way, be thoroughly uncomfortable with the thought of it, or may be ok with it in general, but not when it comes to participating themselves (I'm part of the latter group). Then there are those who don't really find it pleasurable, but also don't find it off-putting. As for your other post, I do understand that, but even with asexuals who are ok with sex there can be issues surrounding that area. I've seen multiple asexuals online talk about how their partners were upset about how it didn't feel like they were enjoying it as well as others who were upset about the lack of attraction towards them. Also, there is always the option of having an open relationship, but that can be very hit-or-miss.
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Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire
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Post by mattig89ch on Mar 7, 2019 20:07:40 GMT
That would depend on the type of Asexual they were. I know of 2, but there could be others. If they were the kind to simply not have a sex drive, but were ok with sex in general, I'd be game to keep going. It might not work out in the end, but I'd def be up for giving it a shot. If they were the kind that simply found sex disgusting and unpleasant, then I wouldn't be interested. There are plenty of asexuals that do have a libido (the 2 aren't mutually exclusive), but since there is nothing for it to be directed towards, it's treated more like an annoying itch to be scratched. As I said in my other post, there are asexuals who are willing to do certain acts, and some even enjoy the intimacy while others may not care either way, be thoroughly uncomfortable with the thought of it, or may be ok with it in general, but not when it comes to participating themselves (I'm part of the latter group). Then there are those who don't really find it pleasurable, but also don't find it off-putting. As for your other post, I do understand that, but even with asexuals who are ok with sex there can be issues surrounding that area. I've seen multiple asexuals online talk about how their partners were upset about how it didn't feel like they were enjoying it as well as others who were upset about the lack of attraction towards them. Also, there is always the option of having an open relationship, but that can be very hit-or-miss. If I might ask a question, what do you mean that they don't have anything to direct it towards? I don't understand that one.
Also, I think I could only really date someone who enjoyed the intimacy, or didn't find it off putting at the very least. For me, the emotional connection would need to be there. But it would need to be backed by romantic attraction (given and received in some way).
And I can totally understand why someone would have issues with their partner not finding them attractive, or not enjoying it as much as they are. let me know if you'd like to to try and explain.
And, in terms of an open relationship. If that were to happen, why wouldn't I just want to date the other romantic partner?
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Post by Bronztrooper on Mar 7, 2019 20:13:35 GMT
There are plenty of asexuals that do have a libido (the 2 aren't mutually exclusive), but since there is nothing for it to be directed towards, it's treated more like an annoying itch to be scratched. As I said in my other post, there are asexuals who are willing to do certain acts, and some even enjoy the intimacy while others may not care either way, be thoroughly uncomfortable with the thought of it, or may be ok with it in general, but not when it comes to participating themselves (I'm part of the latter group). Then there are those who don't really find it pleasurable, but also don't find it off-putting. As for your other post, I do understand that, but even with asexuals who are ok with sex there can be issues surrounding that area. I've seen multiple asexuals online talk about how their partners were upset about how it didn't feel like they were enjoying it as well as others who were upset about the lack of attraction towards them. Also, there is always the option of having an open relationship, but that can be very hit-or-miss. Thats fair. And I can totally understand why someone would have issues with their partner not finding them attractive, or not enjoying it as much as they are. let me know if you'd like to to try and explain.
And, in terms of an open relationship. If that were to happen, why wouldn't I just want to date the other romantic partner?
I can't really answer that because I've never been in one myself (the only relationship I had was back in high school before I even realized that I was asexual, and that only lasted a few months). I only know that it is an option.
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Post by mattig89ch on Mar 7, 2019 20:16:40 GMT
Bronztroopersrry, realized my post wasn't expansive enough, so I added to it. then saw you responded to the original. my bad
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2019 4:41:18 GMT
Question time: Mostly for those interested in women: How much do you actually care about body hair on women. I don't really care in the slightest. It's not my body, so should I really a get a say in this?
Counter-question for both men and women, should anyone who asks their partner to keep their body hair trimmed, be required to keep their own body hair tidy in exchange, in the interests of fair play?
Tit for tat. If he is willing to abide by my no armpit hair requirement then I'm fine with shaving my legs for once. Even if I had no requirement I would be find with shaving for my partner. I shave pretty much for no one else then them because I want them to enjoy my body when we have intimate sexy time and I see them as being the only ones who have any right to demand such a thing from me. I honestly don't care about what everyone else says about it. It's called bromance and it doesn't make you gay. Lifting weights does though. Exercise makes one stronger Gay sex makes you gay On topic; Oh shit... I forgot what a huge pain-in-the-ass dating is. Jesus I have yet to understand that pain, as my past two relationships just short of happened without the song and dance of dating. I probably should go through the dating process because both two relationships have been nothing but utter shit. I mean, on the other hand, sloth is an amazing time and energy saver. All that effort I could be putting into shaving my legs, counting calories, dying the grey out of my hair and putting on make-up is instead expended on things that matter to me. Writing, swimming, playing video games, napping, eating icecream, watching Netflix ... well, I could go on. Well, to the best of my knowledge you have only one life - do you you really want to spend the only time you'll ever have being ugly, fat or looking/feeling shabby? Heck, if I looked like a hobo I'd feel so uncomfortable that I would not enjoy ice cream, or any other of the short lived hedonistic ''pleasures''. My personal opinion is that the only meaning of life is trying your absolute best to become the best version you can possibly be, and my opinion is that for nearly all people that is what will make them feel the best as well, whether they admit it or not. Do I really want to spend that time working on something that I honestly think is trivial? Sure self-improvement is great so long as I'm improving things that match my values and not "society's" expected values. That being said, improvement in physical appearance, outside of for health reasons, I cringe at. I do not want to be one of those women who pay for eyebrow plucking and consider breast enhancement surgery. So, I guess continuing along the topic of relationships, I want to ask this: If you were dating someone and after a couple dates they told you they were asexual, would you immediately break things off, or wait and see how things progress? We would have to sit down and have a conversation about this. This could be worked out if they are ok with still engaging in sex, or are they ok with the idea of me going to someone else to fulfill my sexual needs but still having them there for every other aspect of a relationship. If not then it might be best to drop it before either of us become to invested in ito it so that the heartbreak won't be to severe on either end. Maybe for you and Lavo Beetle, but not all people. I actually find looking like a hobo, in my sweats and t-shirts, rather comfortable. I never shave my legs in the winter, because somedays I might need the extra insulation and honestly, it's difficult to contort my body into the positions I need to get into because of my back. I already have a fancy limp, so trying to put all that effort into living up to somebody else's standards won't matter, because somebody THAT critical of someone else's appearance will be judgemental of that flaw too, so I dress to suit myself, not someone else. Some days I will put in an effort if I feel like it, if I'm going to hang out with a friend or if I'm having some alone time with a romantic interest, but on the whole, I like being frumpy. Putting effort into oneself for one's own benefit/taste or for someone else's (their "standards") aren't mutually exclusive concepts. I put no effort into my appearance for myself, only for my partner and that's only once we are in a relationship. Question for everyone: Anyone else not do any extensive upkeeping (shaving, makeup, or anything like that) for themselves but for their partners? I guess my perspective is "Dolling up this body does give me any pleasure, but doing so for the pleasure of someone I'm in relationship with is the only thing that makes it worth the effort." Asexuals will most likely end up alone, unless they can find someone who's asexual as well. A relationship without sex is doomed to fail. One asexual is bad enough but 2 together in the same house? You won’t be able to move for all the electric train sets and sonic the hedgehog merchandise. I think you're confusing asexuals with Chris-chan. That is a mean mix up Cammy, apologize.
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January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2019 4:52:57 GMT
Xbox or playstation? Let the console wars begin.
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46
0
8,995
Lavochkin
6,793
August 2016
lavochkin
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Lavochkin on Mar 8, 2019 4:57:55 GMT
Xbox or playstation? Let the console wars begin. PC, which also reveals whether a gal is a true gamer or a "gurl gamer".
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Andraste_Reborn
N4
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Posts: 1,711 Likes: 7,399
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Sept 12, 2024 23:09:48 GMT
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Andraste_Reborn
1,711
August 2016
andrastereborn
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Andraste_Reborn on Mar 8, 2019 5:08:31 GMT
Xbox or playstation? Let the console wars begin. PC forever! Nothing against console gamers, but I don't know how they put up with the limitations. If I can't open a machine up (figuratively and/or literally when necessary) and mess with it is of limited use to me.
I have owned a series of Nintendo handhelds, however, and am planning to get a Switch by the end of the year. As goeth the main series Ace Attorney and Pokémon games, so goeth my nation.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2019 5:27:11 GMT
Xbox or playstation? Let the console wars begin. PC forever! Nothing against console gamers, but I don't know how they put up with the limitations. If I can't open a machine up (figuratively and/or literally when necessary) and mess with it is of limited use to me.
I have owned a series of Nintendo handhelds, however, and am planning to get a Switch by the end of the year. As goeth the main series Ace Attorney and Pokémon games, so goeth my nation.
Sometimes it's because you have to cope because your parents won't by any computer that's not from Apple.
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Dark Helmet
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mybudgee
Fear is your only God
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Sept 2, 2016 20:20:11 GMT
September 2016
mybudgee
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, KOTOR, Jade Empire
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Post by mybudgee on Mar 8, 2019 8:45:17 GMT
]Wow. This is far & away your greatest post Beetle Not sure if sarcasm. I mean it sir
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Post by Bronztrooper on Mar 8, 2019 9:09:23 GMT
If I might ask a question, what do you mean that they don't have anything to direct it towards? I don't understand that one. I'll try to explain as best I can: Basically, since asexuals aren't sexually attracted to anyone, they don't really feel a 'need' to have sex, so when their libido acts up (assuming it does at all), it's more of an 'itch' to relieve said libido in whatever way is most convenient- which is usually masturbation. As an analogy, let us use hunger to represent one's libido, cake to represent masturbation, and... lets say bacon to represent sex. While someone who straight/gay/bi/pan/etc. may crave bacon, and asexual may simply eat cake for the purpose of dealing with their hunger. Now, they may or may not enjoy eating the cake, but that varies from person to person. It's far from a perfect analogy, but hopefully it helps? Also, many asexuals do experience romantic attraction, as well as aesthetic, sensual, platonic, etc. Aromantic asexuals likely wouldn't bother trying to date to begin with.
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Spirit talker
764
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Sept 30, 2024 20:08:34 GMT
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Giant Ambush Beetle
9,283
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giantambushbeetle
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Baldur's Gate, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Giant Ambush Beetle on Mar 8, 2019 10:36:28 GMT
Xbox or playstation? Let the console wars begin. PC forever! Nothing against console gamers, but I don't know how they put up with the limitations. If I can't open a machine up (figuratively and/or literally when necessary) and mess with it is of limited use to me.
Soooo much this. This is also the main reason why I dislike most modern cars, I cannot fix them due to their ridiculous electronics. Also the first thing I do when I get mechanical devices, for example a rifle, is to disassemble it into all its parts, familiarize myself with the system, maintain it and put it back together, so in case something happens I can fix it immediately. I have sold guns simply because they were designed not to be dissembled but from the factory. Same reason I completely build my own computers. (but also because its more efficient) I really dislike owning things I don't know exactly how they work and how to fix them without help.
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Andraste_Reborn
N4
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Posts: 1,711 Likes: 7,399
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0
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August 2016
andrastereborn
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by Andraste_Reborn on Mar 8, 2019 11:11:21 GMT
Sometimes it's because you have to cope because your parents won't by any computer that's not from Apple. Yeah, that is definitely the best reason to have an X-Box or PlayStation. (I have an RL friend who tried to play DAI on a Mac via Wine. It did not go well.)
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bobgoodheart1st mattig89ch
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Post by mattig89ch on Mar 8, 2019 11:28:48 GMT
Xbox or playstation? Let the console wars begin. Switch for life! If I might ask a question, what do you mean that they don't have anything to direct it towards? I don't understand that one. I'll try to explain as best I can: Basically, since asexuals aren't sexually attracted to anyone, they don't really feel a 'need' to have sex, so when their libido acts up (assuming it does at all), it's more of an 'itch' to relieve said libido in whatever way is most convenient- which is usually masturbation. As an analogy, let us use hunger to represent one's libido, cake to represent masturbation, and... lets say bacon to represent sex. While someone who straight/gay/bi/pan/etc. may crave bacon, and asexual may simply eat cake for the purpose of dealing with their hunger. Now, they may or may not enjoy eating the cake, but that varies from person to person. It's far from a perfect analogy, but hopefully it helps? Also, many asexuals do experience romantic attraction, as well as aesthetic, sensual, platonic, etc. Aromantic asexuals likely wouldn't bother trying to date to begin with. That's...interesting. So the orgasm doesn't do anything for them/you?
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Fortifying everything.
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Jan 11, 2017 14:17:27 GMT
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doomlolz
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Post by Son of Dorn on Mar 8, 2019 14:10:36 GMT
Xbox or playstation? Let the console wars begin. PlayStation. Xbox sucks.
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Post by Bronztrooper on Mar 8, 2019 16:12:12 GMT
Xbox or playstation? Let the console wars begin. Switch for life! I'll try to explain as best I can: Basically, since asexuals aren't sexually attracted to anyone, they don't really feel a 'need' to have sex, so when their libido acts up (assuming it does at all), it's more of an 'itch' to relieve said libido in whatever way is most convenient- which is usually masturbation. As an analogy, let us use hunger to represent one's libido, cake to represent masturbation, and... lets say bacon to represent sex. While someone who straight/gay/bi/pan/etc. may crave bacon, and asexual may simply eat cake for the purpose of dealing with their hunger. Now, they may or may not enjoy eating the cake, but that varies from person to person. It's far from a perfect analogy, but hopefully it helps? Also, many asexuals do experience romantic attraction, as well as aesthetic, sensual, platonic, etc. Aromantic asexuals likely wouldn't bother trying to date to begin with. That's...interesting. So the orgasm doesn't do anything for them/you? Well, in my case it can feel nice-ish, but unless my libido is acting up, I don't really bother. The same may be true for other asexuals. Honestly, finally scratching an annoying itch feels much better to me.
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theratpack55
Entertain me.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:13:56 GMT
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theratpack55
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by theratpack55 on Mar 8, 2019 20:44:35 GMT
I went for a work-required medical check up today, and the first thing the doctor said to me was "oh, your name is Ratpack... that's what my first love's name was... do you have family around Rat Town?". He had my wonky blood cell count in front of him.
Not really a question I always wanted to ask, but one I want to ask today... Is that just a normal thing to say? Or was he flirting? I tend to avoid doctors like the plague and I'm probably somewhat socially awkward, so I was - and am - confused. It just felt weird and kind of threw me off the track, since I was worried about my health and not paying much attention to anything else.
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bobgoodheart1st mattig89ch
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Post by mattig89ch on Mar 8, 2019 20:53:52 GMT
Switch for life! That's...interesting. So the orgasm doesn't do anything for them/you? Well, in my case it can feel nice-ish, but unless my libido is acting up, I don't really bother. The same may be true for other asexuals. Honestly, finally scratching an annoying itch feels much better to me. I'm sorry, but what do you mean by nice-ish? I kinda understand that you don't have the drive. But even if you have one, it doesn't feel good?
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Post by Bronztrooper on Mar 8, 2019 21:02:03 GMT
Well, in my case it can feel nice-ish, but unless my libido is acting up, I don't really bother. The same may be true for other asexuals. Honestly, finally scratching an annoying itch feels much better to me. I'm sorry, but what do you mean by nice-ish? I kinda understand that you don't have the drive. But even if you have one, it doesn't feel good? It kind of feels good, but in the same way it feels good to stretch. It's sort of like how with a lot of people can feel like it's a 7-9 (out of 10), but with me it's closer to a 2-3 at most.
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585
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3,694
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Post by DomeWing333 on Mar 8, 2019 21:06:24 GMT
I went for a work-required medical check up today, and the first thing the doctor said to me was "oh, your name is Ratpack... that's what my first love's name was... do you have family around Rat Town?". He had my wonky blood cell count in front of him. Not really a question I always wanted to ask, but one I want to ask today... Is that just a normal thing to say? Or was he flirting? I tend to avoid doctors like the plague and I'm probably somewhat socially awkward, so I was - and am - confused. It just felt weird and kind of threw me off the track, since I was worried about my health and not paying much attention to anything else. It might have been flirting or just awkward doctor jibber-jabber. If "Ratpack" is your last name or a fairly uncommon name, it's more likely to be the latter. But if it's like...Rachel, then yeah he may have been testing the water.
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Entertain me.
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Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by theratpack55 on Mar 8, 2019 21:26:45 GMT
Well, in my case it can feel nice-ish, but unless my libido is acting up, I don't really bother. The same may be true for other asexuals. Honestly, finally scratching an annoying itch feels much better to me. I'm sorry, but what do you mean by nice-ish? I kinda understand that you don't have the drive. But even if you have one, it doesn't feel good? Sorry to butt in, and I'm not even asexual myself, but I feel like I have a good food metaphor to share... Sometimes an orgasm feels nice, the way a good meal feels nice... after you've spent two hours preparing it. It's a pleasant experience, but once you think back on all the effort you had to put in, you kind of don't want to do it too often anymore. Maybe once in a while, but usually you can think of twenty other pleasant activities you could engage in that don't take hours of work until you get to the payoff. Mind you, I'm an instant gratification kind of person, so in the case of sex half an hour is often too long for me. And it's also why I only look up quick recipes.
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