inherit
Mr. Rump
46
0
Apr 28, 2024 20:19:57 GMT
8,986
Lavochkin
6,786
August 2016
lavochkin
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
|
Post by Lavochkin on Sept 4, 2016 15:23:11 GMT
I think there is a bit of safety in going for the "personality is all that matters" route. Syv is mainly taking about how social skills and appearances can start relationships, whereas a personality maintains and keeps a happy one. I don't really see how that is a bad thing, it's simply the truth. Unless there is benefit to doing otherwise, most people in our society will be nice, or at least neutral to people they come into contact with for the first time. Think of it as an open house for an auction. You need to make it look presentable. Why leave it unkempt when all that does is reduce the chance that other people will walk inside and really get to know the place (i.e you)? I think there is a bit of misunderstood conflation between a nice guy, and a "nice guy". The former is genuinely a decent person, the latter is putting on airs for the purposes of attracting female attention but actually have a rotten personality in reality. Think your average white knight who viciously lashes out at other guys who are perceived to be more successful with women because they are "jerks". The thing is though, while the former are the kinds of people I'd want to spend time with over the latter (and the people in this thread to me are of the former kind, not the latter), for the specific purpose of meeting new people, the difference is not very big. Why? Because the "nice guy" only rears his ugly side of his personality after his courtship has failed. During the courtship, he might be excessively nice and women will pick up on this, but generally speaking, the vitriol that comes from a "nice guy" doesn't come until after courtship is over. So if the nice guy and the "nice guy" both feel like a personality is enough (despite coming from very different places), you'll never see a real difference between the two until after any courtship is over. So this idea of being "nice" isn't that applicable, because presumably, most people are nice enough while they get to know people. Regardless of whether their intentions are genuine or not. What syv is ultimately arguing for is self improvement. It's not about changing your focus to things that are shallow in your life (money, appearance, etc), it's about improving the things you have control of in your life. If you can improve your appearance, there is no reason not to do it. If you can improve your money situation in life, do it, etc. Social skills can entropy, so go and put yourself out there to improve how you talk and communicate with others. And the goal for all this, is to become a more well rounded person. A side effect of which, becomes the ability to more naturally introduce people into your life that you want in your life, and have them get to know the real you. Worst comes to worst, you've given yourself meaningful goals for improving yourself as a person. That's not really a bad thing, is it? I dunno, I'm not really an expert when it comes to dating and relationships anyway. But I don't understand why there is a level of quiet pushback against syv's thoughts. IMO, it's just laying out the truth in a reasonable way. Whilst this is a good point to make, I'm not sure that this is necessarily the case unless you combine it with age. A below average woman who is young enough with the right personality would still be able to nab a long term partner provided that other aspects of her life are in check, whereas it gets much difficult with an older woman. This is undoubtedly where men have the advantage. An older man presents no inherent impediment to fathering children, and it's well known that men tend to age better than women. A below average man who is older can still nab a long term partner if the other aspects of his life (health, wealth and personality) are in order. This is much more difficult for an older woman even if have also have these same things in order. Is it fair? No, of course not. But you can't fight Father Time. Yet. Your nice guy argument is for the most part spot on. But it is missing one strong point: There is no point in maintaining contact with a desired partner after they have definitively rejected you, whether you were "nice" or not.I mean, there is nothing good that can happen. Best case scenario is you are the awkward third wheel. Worst case scenario is you are branded as a potential sex offender or stalker or something like that by her and her clique and everything you do gets treated as part of some scheme. Neither of those are favorable outcomes. So, once you are rejected, it is best to cut the cord and save yourself the misery. "But I just want to be friends" Odds are they don't. Unless you were friends for a long time beforehand, you'll just come off as an obsessive wack job. "But if I be nice, good things will happen" Nope. Again, best case scenario is you are the awkward third wheel and you are awarded with lots of weird situations and utterly thankless responsibility. "I still have a chance" No you don't. If you do get a chance, odds are it won't be for years, it will be at a high cost, and by then you'd be a fool to still want it. "We can still have fun" No you can't. Every joke around her will be at your expense, or you will be vigorously and repeatedly threatened. You will be branded as a laughingstock, a threat, or both. You will be the outcast and expected to take it at every turn. They may seem like an awesome person, but after they shut you down - and it doesn't matter whether you wanted a chance or not - they are first and foremost a liability to you. At the very least, there are better things you could do with your time and energy. At the worst, they will make your life utterly miserable for no reason. Cut the cord by any means necessary before the situation escalates and you have to either surprise babysit her illegitimate children or find yourself in court. Thus, you must find a way to burn the bridge. Be an asshole. Don't answer the phone. Disregard her feelings. Laugh at her misfortunes. Be judgmental. Be hostile. Be insensitive. Be cruel. Be cold. Get rid of her before she ruins your life. On top of all that, while the poor sap is giving all this attention to a broad that isn't reciprocating it, there's another out there that wants it but isn't getting it from him.
|
|
inherit
Spirit talker
764
0
16,332
Giant Ambush Beetle
9,261
August 2016
giantambushbeetle
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Baldur's Gate, Mass Effect Andromeda
|
Post by Giant Ambush Beetle on Sept 4, 2016 15:46:45 GMT
The last 4 pages is why I have completely stopped dating and trying to find a SO altogether. The more you think about the game that ''Finding a proper mate''is, the more you realize how ridiculous, self-destructive and flat out stupid it really is. One of the weirdest and ugliest facets of mankind.
|
|
inherit
TEH EVUL CREEP
1008
0
Sept 27, 2021 23:28:25 GMT
3,757
BamBam the Destroyer
I hunt, therefore I am
2,774
August 2016
jockcranley
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age Inquisition, Mass Effect Andromeda
|
Post by BamBam the Destroyer on Sept 4, 2016 15:52:38 GMT
The last 4 pages is why I have completely stopped dating and trying to find a SO altogether. The more you think about the game that ''Finding a proper mate''is, the more you realize how ridiculous, self-destructive and flat out stupid it really is. One of the weirdest and ugliest facets of humanity. BUT YOUR TOP NOTCH GENETIC MATERIAL MUST BE PROPAGATED!
|
|
ruggly
N3
I don't know
I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Posts: 719 Likes: 1,593
inherit
I don't know
196
0
Mar 14, 2021 23:36:22 GMT
1,593
ruggly
I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
719
August 2016
ruggly
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
|
Post by ruggly on Sept 4, 2016 15:58:00 GMT
I've met people from the forums (and other forums) in life, that's about as far as that's going.
|
|
inherit
Elvis Has Left The Building
244
0
Sept 26, 2016 13:29:55 GMT
19,064
Arijon van Goyen
10,446
August 2016
kaiserarian
17300
|
Post by Arijon van Goyen on Sept 4, 2016 16:00:28 GMT
Luck/destiny is a big factor. Like confronting good girls and realizing they're married (why not they showed up sooner?) or good girls not available at all in your 10 KM radius.
|
|
E-Ro
N2
good form pupper
Banned for your sins
Posts: 75 Likes: 228
inherit
good form pupper
1396
0
May 26, 2017 22:24:55 GMT
228
E-Ro
Banned for your sins
75
September 2016
ero
|
Post by E-Ro on Sept 4, 2016 16:19:25 GMT
Some of you just aren't cut out for the whole "dating and being with someone" thing. Which is fine, not everyone has to be with someone.
If your dead set on it though this is probably a horrible place to get advice. For my part I'd say just focus on self improvement and whatever happens happens.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
32
0
Deleted
0
January 1970
Deleted
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2016 16:20:56 GMT
Some of you just aren't cut out for the whole "dating and being with someone" thing. Which is fine, not everyone has to be with someone. If your dead set on it though this is probably a horrible place to get advice. For my part I'd say just focus on self improvement and whatever happens happens. yeah, you might attract someone creepy
|
|
inherit
Elvis Has Left The Building
244
0
Sept 26, 2016 13:29:55 GMT
19,064
Arijon van Goyen
10,446
August 2016
kaiserarian
17300
|
Post by Arijon van Goyen on Sept 4, 2016 16:22:13 GMT
|
|
E-Ro
N2
good form pupper
Banned for your sins
Posts: 75 Likes: 228
inherit
good form pupper
1396
0
May 26, 2017 22:24:55 GMT
228
E-Ro
Banned for your sins
75
September 2016
ero
|
Post by E-Ro on Sept 10, 2016 18:56:56 GMT
Alright well I wasn't gonna do this cause I wasn't really comfortable coming out with it just yet, since it's so early in(it's just been a few weeks). But me and Solas are dating. I'm not really the type to get into a legit long distance relationship, but I ended up really liking them a lot, I fell super hard tbh. So far things are going well. We talk on the phone everyday, and I am super excited to see where this goes and how it plays out. Wew it feels weird typing that out, but yeah, there you go.
|
|
Solas
N5
blep mlem mlem
ratlobster banger
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Prime Posts: 3,912
Prime Likes: 9733
Posts: 2,848 Likes: 12,755
inherit
blep mlem mlem
65
0
12,755
Solas
ratlobster banger
2,848
August 2016
solas
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda, SWTOR, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
3,912
9733
|
Post by Solas on Sept 10, 2016 19:11:28 GMT
Alright well I wasn't gonna do this cause I wasn't really comfortable coming out with it just yet, since it's so early in(it's just been a few weeks). But me and Solas are dating. I'm not really the type to get into a legit long distance relationship, but I ended up really liking them a lot, I fell super hard tbh. So far things are going well. We talk on the phone everyday, and I am super excited to see where this goes and how it plays out. Wew it feels weird typing that out, but yeah, there you go. you n me puppo wew, I guess we're out in the open now. yea. its weird but I'm excited to see where it goes.
|
|
Gaston
N3
Uncucked Eurocuck
The Heretic of Time
Posts: 368 Likes: 721
inherit
Uncucked Eurocuck
1289
0
721
Gaston
The Heretic of Time
368
Aug 27, 2016 17:11:52 GMT
August 2016
thehereticoftime
|
Post by Gaston on Sept 10, 2016 19:23:15 GMT
I'm so happy for you E-Ro and Solas! Wew, you have no idea. So much love in the air. Love all around tbh.
|
|
inherit
145
0
Aug 22, 2016 19:29:11 GMT
10,121
Kenny Bania
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!
3,181
August 2016
b00g13man
Mass Effect Trilogy, Jade Empire
13218
8752
|
Post by Kenny Bania on Sept 10, 2016 19:47:56 GMT
blep mlem mlem
|
|
HowlingSiren
N2
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda
Origin: HowlingSiren
Posts: 53 Likes: 226
inherit
362
0
226
HowlingSiren
53
August 2016
howlingsiren
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda
HowlingSiren
|
Post by HowlingSiren on Sept 11, 2016 20:34:06 GMT
I don't mention it as often as he did, but Marksmad and I met on BSN, and we've been living together almost a year. It helped we both coincidentally lived in the same (small) country, though not in the same city (or language region, for that matter). So we did not really have to overcome the hurdles of long distance, although we did live 3 hours apart. If not gaming together, we game side by side. Looking over my shoulder now, I see him headshotting some axe wielders in the Division - and he watches me scan the weirdness in No Man's Sky. Definitely something to be said about dating a fellow gamer.
Obviously I don't know what the future holds, but it was definitely worth being open to this. Best wishes and hugs to the other BSN couples out there!
|
|
linksocarina
N5
Always teacher, sometimes writer
Teaching Mode Activated
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
PSN: LinksOcarina
Posts: 3,179 Likes: 4,063
inherit
Always teacher, sometimes writer
370
0
4,063
linksocarina
Teaching Mode Activated
3,179
August 2016
linksocarina
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
LinksOcarina
|
Post by linksocarina on Sept 11, 2016 21:02:30 GMT
I love all my children equally...
|
|
inherit
145
0
Aug 22, 2016 19:29:11 GMT
10,121
Kenny Bania
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!
3,181
August 2016
b00g13man
Mass Effect Trilogy, Jade Empire
13218
8752
|
Post by Kenny Bania on Sept 12, 2016 6:03:42 GMT
I love all my children equally...
|
|
inherit
GOD
102
0
Sept 19, 2016 21:11:30 GMT
6,494
PATPATPATlol
1,768
August 2016
patpatpatlol
PATPATPATlol
|
Post by PATPATPATlol on Sept 12, 2016 14:54:34 GMT
I don't bother with dating anymore. Solves everything. Haven't been on a single date in almost five years and I'm super happy. If and when I meet someone, it will happen when it happens.
|
|
OneWomanArmy
N5
Queen of BSN
I’m a brilliant brunette with lots of blonde moments 😜
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
XBL Gamertag: Theonewomanarmy
PSN: HypnoticEyes
Prime Posts: A great deal, I'm an old timer
Prime Likes: A LOT....
Posts: 4,360 Likes: 12,217
inherit
Queen of BSN
823
0
12,217
OneWomanArmy
I’m a brilliant brunette with lots of blonde moments 😜
4,360
August 2016
onewomanarmy
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
Theonewomanarmy
HypnoticEyes
A great deal, I'm an old timer
A LOT....
|
Post by OneWomanArmy on Sept 12, 2016 18:09:00 GMT
I don't bother with dating anymore. Solves everything. Haven't been on a single date in almost five years and I'm super happy. If and when I meet someone, it will happen when it happens. That's the best way to think of it Pat, cause the more you search and push for it, the less likely it's not to happen. One day when you least expect it she will turn up, it might even happen while you stop for gas or go to the supermarket, that's how it always goes, when you don't think about it.
|
|
inherit
GOD
102
0
Sept 19, 2016 21:11:30 GMT
6,494
PATPATPATlol
1,768
August 2016
patpatpatlol
PATPATPATlol
|
Post by PATPATPATlol on Sept 12, 2016 20:53:38 GMT
I don't bother with dating anymore. Solves everything. Haven't been on a single date in almost five years and I'm super happy. If and when I meet someone, it will happen when it happens. That's the best way to think of it Pat, cause the more you search and push for it, the less likely it's not to happen. One day when you least expect it she will turn up, it might even happen while you stop for gas or go to the supermarket, that's how it always goes, when you don't think about it. What's strange is that's how previous people were like with me. Never planned it and it just sort of happened. Most of them were girls I worked with though and since all of those turned to shit or it never turned into anything, I realized dating coworkers is never a good idea. The last person I was with put me through a complete mind fuck and that was over five years ago. Turned me off from dating ever again. Really complicated situation but I don't want to get into it right now. Maybe I'll tell that story at a later date.
|
|
inherit
Elvis Has Left The Building
244
0
Sept 26, 2016 13:29:55 GMT
19,064
Arijon van Goyen
10,446
August 2016
kaiserarian
17300
|
Post by Arijon van Goyen on Sept 13, 2016 9:29:00 GMT
|
|
panda5onix
N2
kawaii assassin
Prime Posts: 1234... o.o
Prime Likes: 1500... a great way to end XD
Posts: 137 Likes: 642
inherit
453
0
642
panda5onix
kawaii assassin
137
August 2016
panda5onix
1234... o.o
1500... a great way to end XD
|
Post by panda5onix on Sept 13, 2016 11:05:21 GMT
I don't bother with dating anymore. Solves everything. Haven't been on a single date in almost five years and I'm super happy. If and when I meet someone, it will happen when it happens. That's the best way to think of it Pat, cause the more you search and push for it, the less likely it's not to happen. One day when you least expect it she will turn up, it might even happen while you stop for gas or go to the supermarket, that's how it always goes, when you don't think about it. Yis Fate sometimes has a funny way of letting you meet someone, from your home town or even from the other side of the world. It sure did happened to me I remember meeting my ex because I knew this guy who I coincidentally met on a plane who turned out to be friends with this other guy who used to pursue me (but I rejected because he was a player... no fuckboy thanks) and my ex was there in the background one day when I was video chatting on MSN (yes, das rite) with the guy XD It really does happen when you least expect it!
|
|
inherit
199
0
Feb 17, 2021 16:48:49 GMT
3,163
Babar Guy
NO ONE lies to The Meat Man!
1,052
August 2016
jobacnoor
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Jade Empire
|
Post by Babar Guy on Sept 13, 2016 17:47:40 GMT
Alright well I wasn't gonna do this cause I wasn't really comfortable coming out with it just yet, since it's so early in(it's just been a few weeks). But me and Solas are dating. I'm not really the type to get into a legit long distance relationship, but I ended up really liking them a lot, I fell super hard tbh. So far things are going well. We talk on the phone everyday, and I am super excited to see where this goes and how it plays out. Wew it feels weird typing that out, but yeah, there you go. It's all fun and games until you lose an arm and Solas wants to trigger the apocalypse.
|
|
Primordial Walker
N3
Lemme tell you about a porcupine's balls; they're small and they don't give a shit!
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
Posts: 500 Likes: 1,799
inherit
1538
0
Sept 11, 2016 5:41:02 GMT
1,799
Primordial Walker
Lemme tell you about a porcupine's balls; they're small and they don't give a shit!
500
Sept 11, 2016 5:33:02 GMT
September 2016
dervishwalker
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
|
Post by Primordial Walker on Sept 24, 2016 20:08:01 GMT
Ayyeee, over 3 years strong and still rockin. Mother fucker should go make me a sammich though tbh.
|
|
puckishrogue94
N1
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
Posts: 40 Likes: 64
inherit
1098
0
64
puckishrogue94
40
Aug 21, 2016 10:33:29 GMT
August 2016
puckishrogue94
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquistion, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights
|
Post by puckishrogue94 on Sept 25, 2016 9:11:30 GMT
My ball and chain is a friend of my best friend's boyfriend. My best friend and I didn't live in the same state at the time (used to be roommates but moved apart to pursue different things), but I found him as a "suggested friend" on Facebook one day (with my BFF and her boyfriend being mutual friends of ours obviously) and added him because I thought he was hot we started talking and clicked almost straight away, and I ended up moving states to be with him. Still together well over a year later.
|
|
Primordial Walker
N3
Lemme tell you about a porcupine's balls; they're small and they don't give a shit!
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
Posts: 500 Likes: 1,799
inherit
1538
0
Sept 11, 2016 5:41:02 GMT
1,799
Primordial Walker
Lemme tell you about a porcupine's balls; they're small and they don't give a shit!
500
Sept 11, 2016 5:33:02 GMT
September 2016
dervishwalker
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire
|
Post by Primordial Walker on Oct 2, 2016 10:48:59 GMT
Okay since I realise I haven't even posted my own experience with BSN couples, let's have a short story. I first started dating a girl on the BSN in 2013. We both hung out mostly in the Off-Topic Lobby and hit it off really well. The feed, galleries and poll section too. Back when BSN had social features. We had been friends for a number of months before we started dating. She admitted her feelings to me that had been bubbling for a while and I'll be honest, I didn't take them too seriously at first. At the time, I didn't have a positive opinion of online relationships. All of my experiences with relationships and women up to that point happened offline. So I was a bit out of my element when faced with the prospect of committing to someone who was online. But I hit a point where I realised that I would come home from work and jump straight to the PC just to talk to her. And that we'd just talk for hours about whatever. So she won me over, and we have been together since that point. We have met each other, I was able to travel near her location for a long business trip, and she was able to fly to me and sneak into my hotel room for the duration. It was a pretty good feeling to know that she was exactly the same in person as she was online, it really validated my feelings about the relationship and my feelings for her. Which is why I suggest anybody who gets into an LDR meets ASAP and as much as possible, just to get that confirmation and understand how to move forward in the relationship. We're still apart for the moment, but working on a permanent solution to fixing that (otherwise why stay in the relationship), some days are easier than others, though no day is particularly easy when you have to settle for Skype or WhatsApp instead of a kiss or a hug. This is also why it takes a level of discipline and temperance that a lot of people don't have. LDRs present a lot of challenges that not everybody is equipped to deal with. I really cannot say whether I have what it takes to make it last till the end, but I've got what it takes to go through things day by day. The hell up and go make me a sammich.
|
|
Dobby
N3
The Forum Elf
✿
PSN: Dobbysaurus
Posts: 700 Likes: 2,815
inherit
The Forum Elf
8
0
2,815
Dobby
✿
700
August 2016
dobbysaurus
Dobbysaurus
|
Post by Dobby on Oct 3, 2016 4:21:22 GMT
Ayyeee, over 3 years strong and still rockin. Mother fucker should go make me a sammich though tbh. It's soon going to be 4 years for us. I can't believe it! He should go and make me a sammich too. With bunny bread.
|
|