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I'm always wearing pajamas. It doesn't mean I get enough sleep.
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obliviousmiss
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Post by Obliviousmiss on Dec 14, 2016 11:45:47 GMT
Since some of us members are parents, I thought it would be entertaining to post crazy / silly things their kids do or say here. I find kids hilarious, also frustrating, (My stinker is 4.....) so this could be a fun place to share these things with each other. Some recent things my daughter has said: "Fruit snacks give me diarrhea power." "Mom! The Sun better apologize for melting my friend, the snow!" "You know what mom? Daddy's my best friend." "Can I open a present under the tree?" Me: "No, you have to wait until Christmas." "Ok, thanks for telling me yes." *Runs off* I can't wait to read your stories!
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a tidy workspace is the sign of a deranged mind
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Post by nanotm on Dec 14, 2016 12:23:35 GMT
14 years ago when I was based in Germany I drove back to the UK in my German registered car, driving up the motorway I got pulled over by a patrol car my eldest was asleep at this point, so I played dumb and pretended I didn't understand English to the copper who was attempting to tell me I had been driving a touch to fast and to keep my speed lower, just as he was waving me off my kid says " daddy stop trying to speak german" fortunately the copper laughed and told me to sod off before he changed his mind.....
my youngest last night was talking to his mother because she was sad that it was the last time she would get to watch kids at a christmass play, his advice was "its ok mum you can get a job with the BBC and then you can keep going to them" (if your not aware its a reference to jimmy Saville and some of his mates)
little bugger owes me a new keyboard for that one.....
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2016 12:33:26 GMT
My two girls were yesterday playing and I heard them talking "Let's make some celebrity videos and post it so we can become celebrities." They had my phone and later I checked out the pics and videos and laughed my ass off. They are 3 and 6 btw. The other day the three year old told me while I was wiping her butt that "pee wiping is mommy's job and poop wiping is daddys." I totally agreed. Out of the mouths of babes and all that...
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I'm always wearing pajamas. It doesn't mean I get enough sleep.
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Post by Obliviousmiss on Dec 14, 2016 12:38:07 GMT
My two girls were yesterday playing and I heard them talking "Let's make some celebrity videos and post it so we can become celebrities." They had my phone and later I checked out the pics and videos and laughed my ass off. They are 3 and 6 btw. The other day the three year old told me while I was wiping her butt that "pee wiping is mommy's job and poop wiping is daddys." I totally agreed. Out of the mouths of babes and all that... This reminded me of my 4 year old.... she's afraid of loud noises (Ear plugs for fireworks, movie theatres, orchestras, etc.) When she's "done" and calls for me to come help her, I have to knock and say "here I come!" before entering the bathroom. She still has her ears covered.....because of one time I scared her coming through the door.
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In lurking mode, playing the ME games.
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Post by Natashina on Dec 15, 2016 4:06:54 GMT
Warning, there is one uncensored F-bomb in this post.
I'm an aunt, but I've seen some funny stuf.
I was going out to eat with my in-laws. At the time it was me, my husband, my father-in-law, his girlfriend, my brother and sister in-law. They had a little boy that was about 16 months at the time.
We were all sitting around and chatting. The munchkin had a pacifier and it fell out of his mouth. It was in the middle of the table and he couldn't reach it. The conversation had reached a quiet moment and all of a sudden, we hear a very young, very loud voice.
"Give me back my fucking binkey!" There was no doubt that he said it. The table next to us was staring. We were in total shock. To this day we laugh about it. Except for my sister-in-law. She pretended she never heard it.
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http://bsn.boards.net/threads/recent/143
https://i.imgur.com/1myVt9D.jpg
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Post by DragonKingReborn on Dec 15, 2016 5:47:57 GMT
Child (6 at the time) - "Dad, are we going to see Grandma and Grandad today?" (It was a Tuesday and they live 2 hours drive away) Me - "Not today, mate. I have to work tomorrow and you have to go to bed soon." Child - ......"You're a fool!" *door slams, crying ensues for at least 10 minutes* Me - "Right, then."
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Post by DragonKingReborn on Dec 15, 2016 5:51:19 GMT
My wife usually does the daycare/school pickups, but one day, I picked up our eldest while he was still at daycare, so...around 3 and a half years, or so.
Went round a roundabout and got cut off by someone not giving way.
Child - "Fucky sake, eh Daddy?"
There was a conversation with my wife that evening.
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huldramurderess
N3
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, Mass Effect Andromeda
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Post by huldramurderess on Dec 15, 2016 8:27:21 GMT
I'm not a parent and the mini humanoid I currently watch can't speak but he has got some damn funny timing.
Today when I was watching him I got a little silly while I was speaking to him and trying to keep him smiling and told him that I was from the future and one day he will speak before I could finish he starts making a very distinct sound making me chuckle some. I tell him he's too young to speak and he stares right at me and makes the sound a few more times (Looked like he was trying to say Oh, which I say 'oh no' to him a lot in the mr bill voice) before getting the most annoyed look on his face and turning his head away from me.
According to his parents timing like that seems to be a thing with him, as a few weeks ago while they were tried and trying to eat he was having a temper tantrum and would not stop screaming. Finally, his dad turns to him and says 'Do you want us to die? Do you want to be a poor Batman?!' to which the little guy shuts up and shakes his head.
All in all just convenient timing but I still find it amusing none the less.
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Post by Debaser on Dec 15, 2016 8:43:26 GMT
My best friend's daughter calls my grandmother's dentures 'take out teeth'. Apparently, she tried to take her's out in the mirror then asked grandma how she takes out her teeth.
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https://i.imgur.com/1myVt9D.jpg
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Post by DragonKingReborn on Dec 15, 2016 19:15:50 GMT
Tap, tap, tap...on my forehead.
4 year old - "Daddeeee, it's morning time. Geddup! Lazy bones"
It was 4am.
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Obliviousmiss
I'm always wearing pajamas. It doesn't mean I get enough sleep.
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Post by Obliviousmiss on Dec 15, 2016 19:59:57 GMT
Tap, tap, tap...on my forehead. 4 year old - "Daddeeee, it's morning time. Geddup! Lazy bones" It was 4am. Lol! You gotta sleep train those kids!! Mine will call me at 2 am because she lost her stuffed giraffe. She's holding it.
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Post by DragonKingReborn on Dec 15, 2016 20:09:08 GMT
Tap, tap, tap...on my forehead. 4 year old - "Daddeeee, it's morning time. Geddup! Lazy bones" It was 4am. Lol! You gotta sleep train those kids!! Mine will call me at 2 am because she lost her stuffed giraffe. She's holding it. That's even better than what the eldest used to do. "I've lost my Iron Man" / "Is he on your pillow?" / "No!" / *checks - Iron Man is on pillow*
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Little Pumpkin
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: Beerfish
XBL Gamertag: Beerfish77
Posts: 15,036 Likes: 35,858
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https://bsn.boards.net/user/314/personal
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Post by Beerfish on Dec 15, 2016 20:09:53 GMT
This is why you guys need to crate train your kids.....just like training puppies.
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N3
Sniping the ground since 2013
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
PSN: Shepenwepet
Prime Posts: some
Prime Likes: several
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Post by Shepenwepet on Dec 15, 2016 20:15:42 GMT
I'm an aunt, but I've seen some funny stuf. My brother, to his son: What do you want for Christmas? My nephew: ...I'unno. My brother: Well what are you gonna tell Santa? (They were on their way to the mall to see Santa.) My nephew: I'm gonna tell him that I pooped in the toilet.
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http://bsn.boards.net/threads/recent/143
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Post by DragonKingReborn on Dec 15, 2016 20:22:24 GMT
This is why you guys need to crate train your kids.....just like training puppies. Training puppies is easier, faster and considerably less stressful than training children....but WE are the evolved mammals
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a tidy workspace is the sign of a deranged mind
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Post by nanotm on Dec 15, 2016 21:00:25 GMT
This is why you guys need to crate train your kids.....just like training puppies. Training puppies is easier, faster and considerably less stressful than training children....but WE are the evolved mammals that's why it takes longer to train them unlike puppies...... one of mine figured that because tom hanks wasn't animated in the polar express that the whole film was non animated, his girlfriend shattered his world when they were in bed one afternoon by saying she didn't want to watch a cartoon and could he put something else on, poor stressed Eric was so outraged by the suggestion his favourite film wasn't real he got dressed stormed downstairs and ranted loudly about how stupid she was...... he's spent the last 13 months getting ribbed about it by the youngest one whenever a question of reality crops up the inevitable question of "why is tom hanks in that ?" being shouted loud enough to wake the dead which always results in him getting red faced and laughter echoing from everyone else In the house... kids are like the gift that keeps on giving but only so long as your wallet remains open.... but not matter how old they get they still come out with really bone things
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N7
Little Pumpkin
Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
Origin: Beerfish
XBL Gamertag: Beerfish77
Posts: 15,036 Likes: 35,858
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Little Pumpkin
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Beerfish
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August 2016
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https://bsn.boards.net/user/314/personal
Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect Andromeda, Anthem, Mass Effect Legendary Edition
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Post by Beerfish on Dec 15, 2016 21:23:39 GMT
*TANGENT*
My niece at a family get together last year said I looked like Tom Hanks, I said that I did indeed have a volleyball on my book shelf that I talked to on a regular basis.
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I'm always wearing pajamas. It doesn't mean I get enough sleep.
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Post by Obliviousmiss on Dec 16, 2016 14:53:45 GMT
*comes bursting through my office door this morning* "MOMMA! I TOLD DADDY YOU GOT A IPOD FOR CHRISTMAS FOR HIM."
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I'm always wearing pajamas. It doesn't mean I get enough sleep.
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Post by Obliviousmiss on Dec 16, 2016 23:34:51 GMT
So while I was taking a nap, my hubby had to use the bathroom. It's an emergency. There's no toilet paper. He tells for my daughter to run and get me to help him.
"Um, sorry! I'm too busy!!" She was playing on the ipad.
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" A wise man once said, forgiveness is divine but never pay full price for a late pizza. "
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Post by Nightman on Dec 17, 2016 18:43:17 GMT
I was watching my 5 year old niece last week and she built this giant tower out of legos..she spent a fair amount of time constructing it....and she was picking it up to go show her sister when it fell over and shattered...she looked at it then looked at me and said " Dammit." of course I wanted to tell her not to say bad words ( cuz I imagine my sister would have done the same thing) but she said it correctly and at the appropriate moment so I let it slide.
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Games: Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, SWTOR
Posts: 188 Likes: 355
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Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Inquisition, KOTOR, Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, SWTOR
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Post by Shinrai on Dec 17, 2016 19:06:47 GMT
I have no kids, but I'm the oldest of 4 sisters + working at a daycare let's me experience lots of funny moments with children every day.
One situation I had was with my youngest sister (she was 2 years old, me 12)
Little Sis comes crying into my room and jumps on my lap: "Sis, I have a bomb on my foot!" Me: "WTF, you have what oO?" *jumpscare & PS1 controller drops on the floor* Little Sis: "Looky here." It was a mosquito bite on her big toe. I like summers. Had such big laughs.
Another fun situation happened at my daycare. I think it was 8 years ago. We talked with our kids about food. My colleague asked "Do you know where Salami comes from?" And one little guy looked at us like "Huh, adults - don't know such easy things, seriously." With a very stern look he stood there, like a professor and said: "Everyone knows that Salami grows on the Salami tree! We should learn from you? Pf, you don't know a thing, huh..." Really, 4 years old and so salty...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2016 22:21:45 GMT
My oldest, 4 and 8 months, was showing her sister, 3 tomorrow, how to wash her dolls frock. I wish I had gotten there before the rinse cycle. Our pipes are going to need cleaned again.
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http://bsn.boards.net/threads/recent/143
https://i.imgur.com/1myVt9D.jpg
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Post by DragonKingReborn on Dec 19, 2016 22:24:40 GMT
My oldest, 4 and 8 months, was showing her sister, 3 tomorrow, how to wash her dolls frock. I wish I had gotten there before the rinse cycle. Our pipes are going to need cleaned again. It's so great and so terrible when they try to be helpful, isn't it?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2016 0:56:05 GMT
My oldest, 4 and 8 months, was showing her sister, 3 tomorrow, how to wash her dolls frock. I wish I had gotten there before the rinse cycle. Our pipes are going to need cleaned again. It's so great and so terrible when they try to be helpful, isn't it? And they are so pleased that they were able to help. Where I am from the correct form of endearment when telling some one good bye, is “ta-rra”. When I was young I would escape my nanny and go into the kitchen. The cook would always give me something. Celery with cheese spread, or a biscuit and sometimes I got a teacake. Then she would say, “Be gone wi theur.” And I would return to the nursery. So, as our children have grown and nap time comes, I have always told them, “Be gone wi theur.” Somehow my oldest has taken this as a way of saying, good bye and now when her mother is leaving the house she says, “Be gone wi theur ta-rra.”
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2016 8:27:10 GMT
My oldest, 4 and 8 months, was showing her sister, 3 tomorrow, how to wash her dolls frock. I wish I had gotten there before the rinse cycle. Our pipes are going to need cleaned again. It's so great and so terrible when they try to be helpful, isn't it? The sweet age of "don't help me!" The other day, my three year old was being headstrong about assembling a chest of drawers from the start by herself, screaming "Mom don't help! I do it myself!!!!". By all means, go ahead...
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