MrGDL87
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Post by MrGDL87 on Sept 9, 2016 23:29:44 GMT
Tennis puns:
1) When I watch Sharapova play, I think to myself "what a racquet". 2) They're started to drug test Wimbledon players because they're suspected of being on grass. 3) Don't ask some of these players to carry your drink because they're known for dropping shots. 4) Some players have second jobs as lawyers because they have court experience. 5) How do you win Roland Garros?... By clay-ming the trophy. 6) Problems with the serve can be a real balls-up. 7) In the bar/pub, some players realise that they don't like single shots so they turn to doubles instead. 8) These players are set in their ways. 9) Players who win Grand Slams are usually in Open relationships. 10) I was going to make some more puns but I think tennis enough.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2016 0:06:28 GMT
What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish |
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MrGDL87
N3
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Post by MrGDL87 on Sept 10, 2016 10:22:32 GMT
What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish I can't believe that I'm actually going to write this one!
What does Sean Connery say when he has diarrhoea? "I've got a Shituation here" 
I've know that I've just lowered the tone of the entire thread. But at least we've all Bonded over puns.
Why does Sean Connery's relationships only last a few months?... Because he's a Russia With Love.
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mousestalker
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Post by mousestalker on Sept 10, 2016 11:37:34 GMT
Why did Sean stop being Bond?
Because the producers liked Roger Moore.
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Post by Space Cowboy on Sept 10, 2016 13:16:25 GMT
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those that don't.
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Post by Sifr on Sept 10, 2016 13:30:44 GMT
After failing to get his promotion, why did the Police Sergeant want to be an extra in a Bond film?
So he could tell everyone he was in Spectre.
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Post by Crim on Sept 10, 2016 15:47:44 GMT
Why did Sean stop being Bond? Because the producers liked Roger Moore. All these Sean Connery puns, remember when he was on SNL Jeopardy? Alex's mom got the odd mention. |
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Post by Teabaggin Krogan on Sept 10, 2016 16:31:45 GMT
And God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
..Not exactly a traditional pun but I still find it pretty punny.
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Post by Part Time Ninja on Sept 10, 2016 18:23:24 GMT
I recently broke up with a girl I met at the gym.
I guess we just weren't working out anymore.
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MrGDL87
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Post by MrGDL87 on Sept 11, 2016 14:26:14 GMT
I'm taking a pun-t with some of these rugby puns...
Most rugby nations want to win their matches but I heard the French like Toulouse.
Did you know rugby players are messy eaters?... The last time I saw them eat, there was scrums everywhere.
Women watch rugby to watch the men's tackles. Whereas men prefer to watch the hookers play the field. I also heard that some players have open relationships. I think they are known as wingers.
Rugby Manager: "I need you to score 5 points in the next game" Player: "I'll try"
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Post by Teabaggin Krogan on Sept 11, 2016 16:45:57 GMT
 Now that's what I'm Tolkien about! |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2016 11:26:18 GMT
I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang properly, but it eventually came back to me.
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mousestalker
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Post by mousestalker on Sept 13, 2016 11:28:39 GMT
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Arktinen
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Post by Arktinen on Sept 13, 2016 13:48:16 GMT
Why did Sean stop being Bond? Because the producers liked Roger Moore. I guess Roger formed a more special bond with Moneypenny. |
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Beerfish
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Post by Beerfish on Sept 13, 2016 14:03:42 GMT
I was up all night waiting to see the sun, and then it dawned on me.
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Post by mousestalker on Sept 13, 2016 16:39:21 GMT
This one just makes me happy:  |
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Post by Beerfish on Sept 13, 2016 18:02:34 GMT
Animal puns? Well .jpg) play at that game. |
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MrGDL87
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Post by MrGDL87 on Sept 13, 2016 18:03:01 GMT
Criminals who target bakeries are only in it for the dough.
What do you call shoplifters in the lingerie department?... Knickers.
Where do you find foolish criminals?... In the Silicon Valley.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2016 18:10:18 GMT
I relish the fact that you've all mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
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MrGDL87
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Post by MrGDL87 on Sept 13, 2016 18:23:35 GMT
I relish the fact that you've all mustard the strength to ketchup to me. ^^ That's too much of a saucy pun for this thread.
Drinking Ketchup warms my body up, I can feel it all the way tomatoes.
RPG gamers love brown sauce on everything because they can't get enough of HP.
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Post by mousestalker on Sept 13, 2016 18:24:51 GMT
I refuse to condiment on those posts above.
They have placed me in a bit of a pickle.
Which you all must relish.
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Little Pumpkin
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Post by Beerfish on Sept 13, 2016 18:33:24 GMT
Condiment puns? What a ......  |
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MrGDL87
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Post by MrGDL87 on Sept 14, 2016 14:44:51 GMT
^^ This crocodile photo is a good... snap.
Today, I was going to sunbathe but the low cloud made it a mist opportunity.
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Post by Beerfish on Sept 14, 2016 15:03:17 GMT
A lot of bark in his bite.  |
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Arktinen
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Post by Arktinen on Sept 14, 2016 15:08:39 GMT
Somebunny here likes animal puns, too.  Finally had a chance to use this one again  |
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