Maker's Breath.... (Official Cullen Rutherford discussion)

I think it's fair enough to assume both ways whether he's a virgin or not. I'm not done with the game yet, so maybe there is a hint in the future somewhere that he's not virgin.

When it comes to Meredith specifically, my Inq talked to him about it and this is what he said.

"She was my Knight Commander. I had no reason to distrust her. She wasn't wrong about blood mages in Kirkwall. Meredith encouraged my anger towards the mages. But there was only so far I would go. And she knew that too. I was her second in command, but she kept decisions from me - those I would question. I believed she was serving the city. I never thought to question her. Not until it was too late."

I judge from this conversation the opposite: had they been sleeping together, she would have attempted to change his mind and got him involved since some things not acceptable today can become acceptable tomorrow rather than keeping things from him. This reads more like she was controlling him through his trauma and anger rather than through sexual involvement.

I feel that Cullen refuses to question Meredith for such a long time because he desperately needs someone in the world to represent law and order to maintain his sanity. In his mind mages are a threat and Meredith's rule represents this bastion where he finds shelter. It's not just about re-evaluating his opinion. If he is to begin questioning, this would break that foundation where his mind finds some form of stability after Uldred. Exposing Meredith could have ended very badly for him. He could have lost his mind entirely because he put his faith into a person who instead of helping the city like he believed was destroying it.

I'm pretty sure he's a virgin before the abominations take over the Circle. Afterwards, I've gotten a strong impression that he was trying to save others from himself. He was too badly hurt and needed to put the walls up and retreat inside to heal. Cullen had self-awareness that his mental state was in trouble, so he sought a figure he could put his trust into to make external decisions for him while he could distance himself from and dive into his own mind to sort things out. This is also confirmed that while he was at the Circle, he wrote to his siblings all the time. But, after the Circle he never even told his sister that he was moved to Kirkwall. It's because he's both ashamed of what he becomes and he's afraid to hurt his family. This is why he doesn't start a romantic relationship with anyone, he is afraid of hurting them.

Damn adonniel, it break my heart reading all of that, y'know? ^^'

adonniel : nawh, it's ok. I think my HC is much closer to yours I think (no matter how heartbreaking it is)

He spent much of his time in Kinloch under Gregoire's example. I think most of the time then he was pretty much okay with mages (due to Greg's professional but respectful relationship with Irving) until all hell broke lose, that is.

And at the time his ptsd still hasn't healed and feels raw, enters Meredith into the picture.

The way I see things, they both have one thing in common: "I have a traumatic past experience caused by a mage I knew."

Speak ill or whatever you want about Meredith, her background is pretty sad.
Cmiiw, She had a sister who happens to be a mage. Refusing to give her up to the Circle, her family hid her from the Templars. Until one day she went bats**t insane and killed 70 people within the village.
Somehow a part of me felt Meredith's harsh treatment came from guilt. She felt her family did a foolish thing and her village paid the price for it. Another part is, she probably wanted to make 'amends' by punishing mages just because they existed.

And here comes her new recruit, fresh from the nightmares of the worst what mages could become. Bright, promissing, perfect for her protege.

For Cullen her method does seemed harsh, but fitting. Because he had witnessed Greg's 'leniency' has failed to uphold order.

I think Meredith kept some things hidden from him because she knew Cullen has his own strong sense of moral compass that cannot be bent that easy, no matter how she tried. Easier to just keep him in the dark than having him questioning her decisions and authority.


Btw, talking about the Rose.. I remembered that convo he had when asking Hawk for help into questioning the courtesans there he looked so damned uncomfortable and awkward and funny as heck

My Hawk probably remembers him as an awkward and a shy kind of guy. While my IQ expereinced the opposite of that
Add Varric and Isabella into the mix and imagine the convo

Edit : typo and the likes

We're sharing HC about his past love life, are we now? Cool

Hope you don't mind me sharing my HC into the mix


For me it was either Surana/Amel/a half elf since I can't decide exactly who. Thanks to a particular mod in DA:O now I can't seemed to scrub it off my mind
Since I either play as Mahariel or Tabris, those 2 names mentioned above dont get to survive in any of my games (I'm highly allergic to circle mage robes and their hats. By the time mods are available, my heart is already stuck with Mahariel)

So he loved her. She died during Uldred's uprising. Blood mages turned her into an abomination, damaging her beyond recognition. And that adds the fuel for the demons to further torment him in Kinloch. And they stirred up the memory again when we invaded Adamant Fortress.

I probably got this idea from a scrap of note found in DAI. About a Templar that knew this one Enchanter for many years, seen her raise one appprentice after another. She turned into an abomination and the only thing recognizable about her is the tattered robe worn by the demon. Yikes.

close2myheart It's really sad because Cullen starts off sympathetic to mages. That's the reason they've selected him for a killing blow on our Amell because it was meant to be a disciplinary action to teach him a harsh lesson. When it came to serving Meredith later, this part of him was very broken, but it didn't cease to exist. That's why she needs to conceal information from him.

When it comes to Greagoir shipping him of to Kirkwall, they got mutually tired of antagonising each other because like you said Cullen resented what he perceived 'continued leniency' after the incident. I mean he is highly obedient when it comes to the chain of command. But, when our Warden tries to talk Greagoir out of Annulment, Cullen interrupts a conversation of his higher ups and aggressively tells Greagoir that he is making a mistake. He only shows disobedience or disrespect to someone of higher rank when it's 'the world's about to end' urgent.

Flustered Cullen is always evil funzies. I must admit that my theory that he may have visited the Rose is also in disbelief zone because our Hawkes had to do a lot of quests for the Rose and in the process she runs into A LOT of Templars there. Never busted Cullen though.

My Hawke remembers Cullen as someone very lonely. He called her a friend and they've what... talked once three years ago? He was keeping people locked out for ten years because he had trouble dealing with what was happening in his mind and external stuff was only complicating everything even more.

phoray Of all the options discussed, a Templar girl seems the most likely possibility. But, I can't see it as more than one night stand and then him running away from her room half-dressed before sunrise.

I don't find rape romantic either. When it comes to whether he's a virgin or not in Inquisition, I don't have a preference. It's just that things he says and what my Hawke sees in DA2 makes me more inclined to believe the virgin part.

I'm not convinced the demons raped him (not that attempted rape makes it better). This is another wavering belief, but no less I'd like to think our Warden arrived before the demons got to him. Because when Cullen sees Amel, he says 'I won't give into temptation.' So, the demon still needed permission to get its paws on him. Cullen is getting so much hate for lashing out at Amel and saying that a crush on her was a heretical mistake, however, this is also a strategy to keep the demon that wants to rape him out of his mind by diminishing the offer's value. He thought he was talking to a demon when he says all that stuff.

I would have preferred to think Cullen had given a relationship a shot, but when Inky asks whether he thinks about anyone special in Kirkwall, he flat out denies it and says something along the lines of, 'I was not a pleasant person to be around those days. It was best not to.' I feel had he any involvement, Inky would have pried it out of him because he pretty much confesses everything in that lyrium withdrawal scene.

Shoot I would be happier believing your HC. He's so lonely in Kirkwall. I'm pretty sure though there were Templar girls who had crushes on him. Your HC is totally justified in thinking one of them had gotten to him.

This is why I'm eternally glad that he was not a romance option in DAO or DA2. Any relationship he would have had ran a high risk of turning abusive. I would never be able to select him for romance in Inquisition because GF abuser is absolutely NOT an option, 'not even if you turn angel and have the gift of miraculous healing.' I prefer to think he had an understanding that he was not in his right mind and had chosen to keep others safe from himself.

spoilers for Adonniel

Grrrr!

I sincerely hope while he doesn't break up with someone right away if they make him take lyrium until they catch Cory, he will not propose to them at the end either. That should only be reserved for someone who supports his choice rather than abusing his obviously ill placed trust by using his guilt to force him into something he does not want (yes even temporarily that will cut his life by twenty more years and ruin his personality immediately).

It wasn't you. D: I was reading another part of this forum where it was mentioned.

While I'd rather avoid spoilers, I do not react too painfully to them because even if I hear about the end result, I still don't know how it comes around. I'm still glad not everything is spoiled since I got surprised by Haven destruction for example.

Also, if I wish to interact with people on the forum, I won't be able to avoid spoilers because they don't know what knowledge I have, so I have to be realistic about it since it's natural for people to reflect and use as examples provided by their entire knowledge rather than thinking how to edit it.

For example, it's 100% unavoidable learning that Anders will blow up the church just because that's the first thing that comes up if you tap it into search engine.

In DA2 at this point I believe I might be nearing the end or middle of Act 3 because I got a letter from Orsini, but haven't acted on it yet.

In Inq, I'm around a point of doing Here Lies the Abyss. My Inky keeps eyeing that Fortress and walking circles around it, but I haven't assaulted it yet. I probably will this week.

P.S. Since it's spoiled anyway, maybe I should be warned at which point to save the game. I also want to keep re-playing a moment like that!

I'll be taking that. Thank you very much!

By the way, you'll be delighted to know that my entire game progress is based on following Cullen romance. I zoom to one of the maps to beat things over the head with an axe until my inventory is full before returning to the base. Once home sweet home, I visit my favourite advisor for some battlements time and possible one new scene before back to the marshes. Once all the new scenes and cute interactions are complete and I'm getting the same basic conversation options, I start considering doing more story line quests to get more Cullen. A sound strategy! *nod*

*stares at the picture* This is making me want to tinker with the photoshop.