The huge gulf between fem Ryder and Male Ryder [quality of acting]

Or a Doom slayer mod. And watch the kett run in terror!!!!

Same!
How dare you have an opinion that's contrary to my facts.

Sara Ryder (is amazing) >>>> Scott Ryder (is ok, but never better)

I think we're doing a huge disservice to compare professional voice actors like Nolan North and Troy Baker to part time amateurs like Tom Taylorson (MaleRyder).

Regardless of what his vocal chords sound like, Taylorson just has no acting talent. There is zero natural emotion or context in how he says what he says. He is reading and it shows.

Now, to be fair to Taylorson, he's not the only bad voice actor in this game. But Fryda Wolff (FemRyder) is objectively better and has way more videogame acting experience and chops. Any tonal unevenness (and there is a bunch of that) is due to the direction/writing, not the v-acting.

I think I like Sara so much more than Scott! She's laid back and cool!

You're taking this way too seriously.

I've never completed a DA2 playthrough using his voice. I tried, but after getting to Kirkwall, I stopped. Deleted the save and started another playthrough with Jo Wyatt

I had pretty much same exact impressions. Was around 10+ hours into game when I gave up and decided to reroll Sara. Even though Sara has a number of dialogues that are completely off in terms of intonations and context, overall her VO feels much better, because of the exact reason you mentioned - the way Scott speaks comes off like from some sort of high school douchebag, which ultimately becomes unbearable to listen. 
So no, you are not overreacting and don't listen to people saying otherwise, because clearly the way Scott sounds is just bad. And I don't think it has to do with actors voice, but more with a direction of his acting.
Ultimately that's just another nail into MEA coffin of things that will never get fixed. Considering how poorly game already sells, I am fairly certain that next ME game will follow Assassins Creed Syndicate fate of bad sales due to franchise reputation being extremely damaged by a previous game, meaning much less preorders and full price purchases. Hope that will teach BW that releasing half baked product and pandering and pushing SJW and LGBT agendas too hard at the expense of normal fans of ME series will not get them anywhere - acceptable amount of sales simply can not be generated by tiny minorities when majority of fan base gets alienated. Tough lesson BW, its time to get your priorities straight before its too late.

As an abnormal fan, I don't really care what these "normies" are all about.

I can't stand the male Ryder's voice acting. I haven't been able to get past Habitat 7 before restarting. Part of it is certainly the acting itself I feel is low quality but the writing doesn't help.

It's funny, I happen to prefer Mark Meer as Shepard than Jennifer Hale. I prefer his delivery as well as vocal quality. There's something authoritative yet just about expressive enough for us as the player to access/relate with male Shepard without overdoing it, whereas I felt femshep was a bit overdone and not as vocally "reserved" as I would have preferred.

But with Ryder I prefer Fryda Wolff's quality and delivery as Sara than Tom Taylorson with Scott. Ryder is naturally "quirky" and bright-eyed/bushy-tailed, so the delivery for Sara is just perfect in my opinion. Even more so for the sarcastic/causal dialogue which is often hilarious with just the right intonation.

So yeah, in my "canon" Shepard is male and Ryder is female, both with default faces for what it's worth.