Ryder too soft

Point nothing. The player has the option not to recruit Zaeed whereas Ryder doesn't have that option for the asari

Your point doesn't stand. It would if you apply it to Wrex as well
Are you sure about that? How much do you want to bet he can be killed without T'soni on Virmire? I've done it. I recruited both Wrex and Garrus. That's how.

2. I am 10000% sure.

masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Virmire:_Wrex_and_the_Genophage

For the killing off wrex argument in ME1

You can kill him without liara so long as you have garrus, tali, Kaiden, and Ashley. If you have to few squad mates wrex automatically stands down.

Dude no. This only happens if you don't get liara yet. I did this myself.

A couple of things: I think we have different impressions of what Pathfinder team training would involve. Just because an N7 started the program does not mean it was highly militaristic in nature. I used to work with archeologists, and I have a friend who was a biologist with the Army Corps of Engineers - she described some of the surveys she was involved in like walking up a river bank for miles to look for a specific type of plant. We know that Sara was a recon specialist, and made some comments about the flora, fauna, kett activities and remnant structures they came across on Habitat 7. The point is that a lot of what Pathfinders do is more academic than militaristic. Just because they are combat capable does not mean the team operates in any sort of militaristic fashion 24x7.

Also, what you consider to be a "laid back, I can't take things seriously" attitude is something I might call "staying calm, focused and on goal, adapting to the situation, not shifting into panic mode."  I felt that Sara handled herself very well on Habitat 7, especially if you explore the area.

Yeah, that's sort of the risk you take when you choose the Casual option. It's likely to be snark.

The emotional options aren't bad IME. They usually involve connecting to someone on an emotional level - sometimes to offer comfort or reassurance.

Maybe a different set of tones would have been better received?

Just to point out how soft ryder is... PeeBee doesn't get her ass kicked off the ship after her loyalty mission when what she did was definitely going to far. Also, Liam crossed all sorts of lines and you keep him on board when he crossed the line trying to bend rules and get things done his way. If his pal were to have given up the information he gave? Yeah, he should be removed from the crew, without remorse. Both of them should be. That is how much of a pussy ryder is that they don't respond to those kinds of behaviors with more than a firm talking to.

and we are back to square zero for the entire argument.